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You need, first of all, to be on the same page, this happens through conversation. I suggest you take the mojoupgrade.com quiz together, that will get the talk started. Idaho gave great advice, expect that if she is interested it will be a long time before she's ready to try something in real life.

We are in agreement. Maintain the distance and avoid mixing public and private life. That said, there can be moments when the two are juxtaposed. For example, if you come back from a trip without tan lines, it's pretty clear that you were not wearing a swimsuit much of the time. If you happen to be showering at the gym after a workout, someone may well notice. You are out with vanilla friends and LS friends come by your table and say hi, the question comes up from your vanilla friends about your LS friends "nice folks, how do you know them?". There are other circumstances where lives can cross. Just know what you plan to say in advance, and hope you never have to say it.

Has your wife given any indication of being interested? There isn't much to discuss until you get an answer to that. Just about everyone here will tell you (loudly) that swinging can make a good relationship better. But it most definitely will take a shaky relationship and burn it to the ground. Swinging fixes nothing. And it's not for everyone. IMO i think you need to address what has dried up and why. Then what can you do to fix it. At this point I should point out this isn't a pillow talk subject this is a across the kitchen table kind of talk. Don't expect an immediate answer it rarely works that way. Its asking someone to go against everything they have been taught their entire life. Good luck and let us know how it goes ?

I agree with the "don't ever tell" anyone about your lifestyle. Some people won't care. Some will and create alliances - you won't get invited to neighborhood gatherings, etc. We live in an awesome neighborhood. Families everywhere, kids everywhere, gatherings 2-3 times a month (birthday parties, pool parties, etc). The first event we attended after moving in we were let in on the "horrific incident" where a couple in the neighborhood had some relations with others. That couple has been excommunicated. Since then we've heard the story from 4-5 other "astonished" couples who just cannot believe such things happen. It is ridiculous. The gossip is junior high stuff. People whispering about others. Those "immoral swingers"....give me a break. So I would not tell anyone what you do, and I wouldn't play with anyone in the neighborhood. Once the genie is out of the bottle, you'll always be viewed as some sort of heathen by the loud-mouth majority. It isn't worth it. It isn't any of their business why you're going out on weekends without them. As for your guest, again, none of their business. It is a college friend, a family member, whatever. You don't need to explain.

Hopefully. It would be nice to be open about this aspect of our lives. We all owe a debt to those brave people who made their orientation public and were proud of it. Certainly.

It's like asking if a woman's mouth will be looser after sucking bigger dicks.

The best thing is seeing the one you love enjoying. When she finishes a book that was good, she enjoyed. Watching a movie when she laughs, cries or reacts then she enjoyed. Eating a meal and saying this is delicious she enjoyed. She enjoys shopping, getting dressed up She enjoys dancing and listening to music. She enjoys sitting at a pool drinking She enjoys all of this and I’m happy she enjoys. The biggest response of enjoyment is when she is fucking and she screams with joy. She may laugh or cry at movies, dancing, eating or any other activity yet screams with joy when getting fuck or having her pussy eaten. Why wouldn’t I be happy if she is happy and I get to fuck all those friends of hers.

The orthogonal responses above simply indicate that there is no one right answer, there is only the right answer for the OP. It's perfectly reasonable to draw a sharp separation between public life and private life. Whether that separation can be maintained, and at what level of effort, is another question. Keeping track of who knows what is not trivial. And in this age of so much communication, there may be unexpected spillover between private and public life. The general guidance above is sound. Volunteer nothing. If asked, include as much truth as reasonable. Avoid deception whenever possible. You don't have to answer every question asked of you. However... At some point you may well get a direct question that will force you either into a lie or into telling some uncomfortable truth. If you lie, be prepared to perpetuate a consistent lie. If you tell an uncomfortable truth, make sure you control the message, stay on message, and message only what needs to be shared. Figuring out how you plan to handle the direct question before it comes is a little like an insurance policy: you pay the (planning) premium hoping you never have to use it.

Winner, Best Advice of the Week Award. Certain contender for Best Advice of the Month Award. My nominee for Best Advice of the Year Award.

We agree with Lionheart: The best 'lies' always involve the truth. First of all, you don't need to tell them anything but if you feel that you need to, tell them you are going away for the weekend (leaving out the 'to attend a l/s event"). We have a friend coming to visit and stay with us for a night or two (leaving out "to have sex with"). One thing that I have been able to get away with (since I'm kind of a joker at work) is when talking about what everyone was doing the upcoming weekend was to say that we are planning on going to an orgy. Everyone would laugh and shrug it off as another one of my jokes. On Monday, one or two people would always ask how the orgy was and I would say it was great and we would all laugh again. DO NOT tell your friends that you are involved with swinging...ever. This will cost you friendships. There will be several 'friends' who are so shocked and appalled at this that they will quit seeing you AND tell everyone they know that you are swingers (not that it is any of their business). Unless you are ready for all of your friends, family, and coworkers to know what you are doing in your bedroom and pass judgement on you, don't tell them anything. Why do they even need to know? This is something best kept separate and if one of your friends suspect something and ask (which is kind of rude that anyone would ask about something like this), you can decide what to tell them at that time. Otherwise, NOTHING GOOD WILL COME FROM TELLING THEM ANYTHING. If, on the off chance you are to run into one of your friends at a L/S event, remember that they want to keep this a secret as much as you do, so your secret will be safe with them. It will also give the four of you something to talk about when you are together (wink, wink, nudge, nudge). Maybe some day people will become more enlightened and open (remember people 'coming out' as gay as recent as 30 years ago and being shunned and shamed), but today is not that day.

True. Bf doesnt like swinging. But SO and I are into it. So it is like, "one nation, two systems" (2 sets of rules) for me! ?

So why isn't it just as crazy a concept for me to let my husband sleep with other women? Is it because a man, even a married one, having more than one female sexual partner - his wife - is considered "normal," while a married woman fucking around is breaking a taboo? Why are there no examples (that I know of) of a woman having a haram of men, yet the sultan with his multiple wives is a cliché?

Every newbie nudie has that moment when they look around and say to themselves I’m the only one with a bathing suit on. You wait for the others with you to strip and then hesitantly drop yours thinking please let it hang. Our first time at Gunnisons was with three other couples, I had fucked all four women, my wife, two of the women many times and the fourth woman just once. My wife likewise had been with the men. We had all been nude together before, nude and having sex, and I felt funny stripping on the beach. To me it was so different from what we had done before, I looked at the women in a way I never saw before. My wife’s closest friend who was my first swing partner and the woman I’ve had sex with so many times was just nude in front of me on a sand chair. Only second to my wife, I knew every part of her body intimately, I was catching myself staring at her think how beautiful she is. The same pussy that my mouth was on so many times, I was now just looking at. I saw these women as beautiful beings. Nudity is freeing in many ways.

From our experience which is limited you might be on to something. Since more people are vaccinated and things are opening we have met two couples that are new to extracurricular sex. I think staying home has either made them realize that they were getting bored or they had time to watch porn opening up to new ideas. Changes for the wife was also a factor. The first couple was very specific to what they wanted to try with the wife extremely curious about playing with another woman. We were very cautious and didn’t push or pressure them. We made sure they wanted to explore. The second couple are friends of the first couple. They agreed that it would be better for a third couple, us, be the guide for them. The original couple put the idea out there but found it awkward to play with their friends. Here are two couples coming out of isolation who had new ideas of where their sexual futures should go. Don’t know if that is an indicator.