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There are some LS people only on the clock to score. Others enjoy meeting and talking even if it does not lead to sex.Or can meet socially without expecting it to go to sex everytime. It is a diplomatic effort. Honesty is the best policy.

Managing expectations--yours and others'--is a social skill necessary in and out of the LS--but perhaps more especially in the LS. The nice thing about the LS is that candor is not only appreciated but also in fact expected. That does not negate the need for social graces--in fact that candor raises the bar. As AndrewandAnn--and others--have remarked, rejection is by far the most common response and if you are going to be in the LS, it's important both to accept rejection gracefully and give rejection gracefully. Learning to read "no thank you", learning to say "no thank you", all the while ensuring that those expressions are unambiguous yet feel non-confrontational---all of that is hard. It is always appropriate to be respectful and courteous. It is always appropriate to be friendly provided that those signals are not misinterpreted. We learned a great deal about how to read people, listen to people, and gauge intentions when we attended our first clothing-optional resort. Some were there simply to enjoy social nudity, some were there because LS people were also welcomed. All were gregarious and all were enjoying their clothes-free status. We made friends with with groups, and at the same time needed to learn different sensitivities.

Seems like you obsess over penis size. You have been posting about this from your very first post. Men worry too much, believe me most women don’t care. Some men are just big dicks regardless of the size of their penises.

What position works best for dvp? Do you have to coordinate thrusts?

Wish we had a beach like that Cuz it’s so miserable here. I am so white do you use lotion all over. Cockburn has to hurt

To the OP, my interpretation is, fundamentally, you and your wife have different on-line agendas. Your wife's on-line agenda is to find potential sex partners. Your agenda is to make on-line friends, with the possibility of finding sex partners. I think therein lies the rub. Leading people on only happens when we send mixed or confusing signals; when we fail to communicate our feelings clearly and directly. The way you avoid unintentionally leading people on is to be up-front and direct (in a nice way, of course) about your feelings. In our case, we try to cut to the chase as soon as we arrive at a firm decision. Typically, we say something along the lines of, "We're happy to have had the opportunity to get to know you both better. Sexual chemistry is a funny thing--it's either there or it isn't. In this case, we're just not feeling it. And we'd rather tell you that up-front rather than to keep you guessing. Good luck and happy hunting." More food for thought: I think some people avoid being direct because they want to be liked and they equate straightforward, unambiguous communication with confrontation and are afraid they will anger or upset the people they are rejecting. Unfortunately, you can only control your messaging--but not how it is going to be received. For most people, rejection is not pleasant, but it's not that big of a deal. However, some people will be genuinely upset by it. We don't dwell on that possibility because it isn't something we can control. That's on them, not us. And if they cannot handle rejection well, they probably aren't long for the lifestyle because rejection is an unavoidable part of it.

In re-reading the last part of my post, it came off harshly, and that was not my intention. Since the goal of the OP was to plan The Perfect House Party, my point was simply this: If they are shooting for "perfection", introducing newbies into that environment is going to probably lead to something less. As good hosts, they would naturally "worry" about newbies more so than their other guests and find themselves spending an inordinate amount of time tending to the needs of the newbies, and unable to give as much time and attention to their other guests. This may not always be the case, of course, but I believe it is more often the norm than not. That's not to say that newbies should always be avoided. After all, we were all newbies once. However, in general, we never felt "parties" were the best ways to introduce newbies to the lifestyle, anyway. In our opinions, it is better to introduce them in very small and intimate gatherings (three couples, max) in a quiet, controlled, and predictable environment. In large gatherings, where the environment is considerably less controlled and more unpredictable, it's very easy for newbies to feel overwhelmed and totally out of their comfort zones.

We were appreciative to the couples who gave us a chance at house parties when we were newbies. We never brought drama, as far as we know.

We've found that being friendly to all has lead to situations where people we have no interest in having sex with keep angling to convince us otherwise. We just continue to be friendly to all and non committal to avoid obvious hurt feelings, but every once in a while we have to be a little more firm. If you're not clued in enough to pick up on social cues we're really not interested.

I second Fundamental Law’s suggestion about paying attention to couples who are left out. Introduce people to other people. Make sure that some guests are not relegated to the coffee cake just because they are a little shy. House parties can be Darwinian and nice people can be overlooked and leave with bad feelings. Sometimes unavoidable, but you’ll feel great if you match up people on the sidelines.

We didn’t get the invite ? The more you play the more things come naturally. You won’t have to worry about who does what to who. Mike and I enjoy the smaller parties, 2 ,3 or 4 couples or even an extra man or two. I enjoy being with 2 men, Mike enjoys 2 women, so 3 couples are perfect for us. I forgot to welcome you Rockland, to the board and the fun.

We've found that sixsomes (or more) tend to last longer than a foursome. A group of four people starts to wind down after an hour (more or less) then after a break a second round may start up. When there's more people involved the party just goes on and on. People can take a break as it suits them, refresh themselves. But it goes on as long as at least one woman is still interested.

Yes, I have been involved in a couple of dp situations. Always a good time when it works out. The times it didn't work out was usually because one guy was uncomfortable being that close to another guy. The men definitely have to be comfortable with their sexuality.

Mrs Grey is a fan of dvp. Our very first experience was an mfm that ended in a dvp. So when the opportunity arises she’s taking it. Haven’t done dp. Yet

I have done alot of DP, both with my wife and the other woman when we meet other couples. Usually we do regular DP, but we have also tried DVP when we had a threesome with a Male friend. I prefer vaginal/anal with me in the ass, my absolute favorite thing to do when we swing, but my wife really enjoyed DVP also, so we will do that again. We are both really into anal sex, and a couple of weeks ago we tried DAP with a dildo, and that actually worked, so we are gonna try that with 2 real cocks some day.

Ran across this cuckold contract online and I thought I'd share it. Has anyone done something like this for their cuckold or swinging relationship?