“Swinging” does not equal “lifestyle”…
The terms “lifestyle” and “swinging” are often used interchangeably; but I think of them differently. To me, “lifestyle” is a broad term that includes many forms of erotic expression: voyeurism, exhibitionism, cross-dressing, kink, swinging, etc. In other words, swinging is a subset of the very broad, lifestyle.
What is swinging then? Consensual, non-monogamy is at the heart of swinging. The consent is between the couple that have the societal expectation of being in a monogamous relationship. The couple could be m/m, f/f, m/f… So, by my definition (and this will rile some folks) – a single person cannot be a ‘swinger’. They can be in the lifestyle, they can play with swingers to be sure – but they are not swinging per se, because they are not consenting with another person in their committed relationship to play outside of their relationship. Society has no expectation that they be monogamous in the first place.
So, is a hotwife a swinger? Absolutely! She is in a relationship that has the expectation of monogamy. She also has the consent of her husband to play outside of the relationship. His presence to the play is not key issue – his knowledge and consent is. Without his consent – she is simply cheating. If she is single, she is just a girl who knows how to have a good time.