Leaderboard

Getting or giving I am happy to enjoy both. Younger days I did much more giving and my reward was acceptance. Flashback to sneaking home with a boyfriend and the big act was a blowjob. I must have enjoyed because I would do it without any reciprocity, just touching from him. He treated me special and I wanted to do it again and again. My first time receiving was from my girlfriend, I enjoyed, it was new, I felt it was wrong. Second time was that same friends older brother, I enjoyed but was more focused on him and what he was going to do that day, my first sex. Over the years, I gave a lot more to guy friends. Not all would give. Mike and I, once we found the new lifestyle, would search out partners. Laughing now remembering a pickup who I was giving a blowjob to, said I sounded like I was cumming without him touching me, when he went to reach down said I was drenched. He asked if I had an orgasm from just giving.

Not everyone has jealousy though. We got into this having mfm’s for a while before we added couples to the mix. I remember the first mfm. I remember when he first started to fuck her. I was waiting for some twinge of jealousy that never happened. It was so fucking hot. We ended the evening with a dvp, which was even hotter. Compersion is real.

Over the past couple of decades there have been numerous lengthy threads on probably every question you’ve had regarding swinging. Time spent browsing will be well rewarded, though you’ll find that often there are divergent opinions on almost every subject. You’ll need to be able to discern what’s (from your perspective) wheat and what’s chaff. Your concern as someone seriously contemplating becoming involved in the lifestyle for the potential negative impact of swinging on the durability of your marriage is understandable and not uncommon. (When my first wife and I investigated becoming swingers in the 1970s, the way too common "wisdom" was that swinging was the relationship equivalent of driving drunk at 120 mph on bad tires. That, plus being consumed with post-grad professional education and the logistical challenges in the pre-internet age, dissuaded us from taking the plunge. To my lasting sadness; I’m confident we’d have done just fine.) If you follow the advice you’ll find in historic threads and from current active members, to constantly communicate with one another and move no faster than either of you is comfortable, you will maximize the likelihood of having positive swinging experiences that enhance rather than harm your relationship with one another.

Who else out there gets more aroused by giving oral pleasure then receiving it? Don’t get me wrong I absolutely love a good blowjob , but nothing gets me going more then burying my face between a sexy woman’s legs and tasting her sweet juices. Luckily Missus E loves receiving oral for extended time periods and just keeps cumming over and over again so we are very compatible in that way.

Love giving. Love receiving. Love watching. Yeah, ok, I just love oral sex. I'm simple like that.

I tried to do both a Hot and Like reaction to this, but the system only allows one per person, so I settled on hot Blowjobs have never been my thing. I mean I like them, I appreciate someone wanting to give me one, and I certainly won't turn one down , but they just don't send me over the moon like they do for some. That's ok, different strokes for different folks. Now, going down on a woman, now we're talking! Her scent, her taste, her wetness, the feel of her skin, her reactions - love all of those!

Sounds like a simple question but it really encompasses a great number of things here. (side note: whenever I think about simple questions I remember my HS philosophy class where we had a test that was one question...describe the universe and give two examples - that test was also graded on a curve ). First: we are here to answer questions so feel free to keep asking them as you decide what to do. Most swingers, at least the successful ones, have an 'above average' relationship with their partner. This means an abundance of love, trust and communication (you can never have too much of any of these). Couples that think swinging will save a failing relationship are usually disappointed. Swinging is like a magnifying glass: if the relationship is really good and strong, it will make it better and stronger. If it has flaws, it will make those flaws more apparent and larger. We refer to it as the sprinkles on the ice cream sundae. Not something that would be missed if they weren't there, but that little bit more when they are. It's always important to start with a great relationship. Remember you two are a team and that swinging is a team sport. If you don't trust your partner with your life, then maybe you should try to figure out why instead of trying to swing. As for swingers, there are two types (IOHO). What we call quality (as in FWB) and quantity (as in one and done). Personally we are the first meaning we are looking for other couples that we can be friends with, do things with (concerts, trips, dinners, etc) that sometimes are vanilla and sometimes involve playing together. There are just as many swingers that are looking for playing with another couple only once (give or take) either at a club, house party, event, etc. There is no right or wrong here, just whatever you two decide to do. As for intimacy, it usually increases it since this is something that you are doing together. It just seems like we value each other more knowing that we can do and say anything to each other and we don't have to fear their response. We are literally living out our fantasies together, I mean, how hot is that?!! Usually after playing with another couple, there's something called 're-connection sex' where you re-connect with your partner that is usually as good, if not better, than what happened with the other couple. So I would say it increases intimacy (see our tag line: when you don't have to lie about sex...). As for disappearing, there's a bunch of things that can cause that. Either a couple finds what they are looking for (as in another couple that they connect with) and don't need to stay connected with the community or they get older and start slowing down or they find that they have fulfilled these fantasies and move on to other fantasies. We have been doing this for almost ten years, but only with a few different couples (the last eight with one couple in particular). We have had a fantastic time...being able to go to concerts, vacations, dinners, even just visiting. It's one thing to have friends, but when is the last time you saw your friends naked? When is the last time you talked with your friends about sex? When was the last time you watched your friend kissing your partner while you are kissing theirs and thought how hot that was and how lucky you are? I'm getting long winded so I'll end this (for now) here. Next question...

Step one - ignore the above advice. Step two - Communicate, communicate, communicate. A true story I have told many times here is that a wise man once told me that if he could watch his wife suck another man's dick, he could talk to her about anything. Since we were watching her do just that, I figured he knew what he was talking about. You and your wife need to be able to talk, openly and honestly about anything. Not just sex. Anything. You need to feel comfortable and that you trust her completely and she needs to feel the same. Now, on the sex side, you need to talk about it outside the bedroom, outside of the sexual fantasy. Talk about it in a context where you don't get turned on by it, but where you can talk about it together and together confront your concerns, your desires and your hopes in the cold, clear light of day. Because you're right... what sounds like a good idea when your horny can sounds breathtakingly stupid in the cold light of day... so it's in the cold light of day that you need to talk about it. Once you think you are ready, you need to find the guy... and that can be surprisingly difficult (see above re Step one) especially in these days of pandemic. There are a number of websites that specialize in helping swingers connect but a surprising amount of flakes, fakes and bad matches. Personally, I've never had any luck with websites so I'm of no help on this one. When you do find a guy, know and clearly state your boundaries. It doesn't matter what they are... no kissing, no oral, no anal, no small talk, whatever... know what your limits are and make sure the guy knows them too. Also, make sure everyone understands that if anyone... you, her or him... feel uncomfortable at any time, for any reason or no reason at all, they have the absolute to say Stop... and as soon as anyone says Stop, everyone Stops. Period, no questions, accusations, guilt trips, nothing. No means No. One last thing I really suggest is to set aside expectations. It's easy to build up a fantasy of what the encounter will be like. The reality will never match that fantasy. The best thing you can do is leave the fantasy at home and, if and when the time comes, go with it and enjoy the moment.

I absolutely love to give my girl oral, can't get enough! When she squirts in my mouth, running down my chin or when she's dominating my face with her cooch and she gushes down both sides of my neck... I call it a diamond necklace! I also love to swirl my tongue down and lick her butthole, push my tongue in as far as it will go, which isn't that far. She still seems to dig it, after all, who doesn't like their butt licked??!!

Hello, long time lurker here, married many decades, long interest in lifestyle. Wife has posed many questions to me about lifestyle that I have not been able to answer. Once you have begun to swing how has it affected your marriage? Do you find that over time that you lose intimacy? I have noticed people seem to start swinging and then they seem to disappear. I realize that this is something to be carefully navigated as a couple but is this a recipe for a divorce? There is so much misinformation on the net as many of the sources have agendas. I truly love my wife and am very sexually attracted to her and do not want to destroy something precious. I would love to hear about successful long married long swinging couples who remain highly in love and continue to enjoy sex with each other and carefully selected friends.

There's a very good reason that we have the quote in our footer (below). Because it's not only true but covers the amount of trust and communication a couple needs to have if they are going down this road.

We've done fingers, toys, dicks, but tongues? Never.

I absolutely adore licking my wife's butt. I also love having mine licked too. I mean who doesn't like having their butt licked!

Yes it is!!!! I bet most first time swingers have that jealousy of watching someone else with your spouse. I’m not sure how long it takes before the jealousy fades or if it ever goes away. Right now I am on a beach where everyone is without clothes, no fancy bathing suit to cover up any flaw. I am jealous of the younger women who haven’t felt the effects of gravity. I know women are looking at my husband as the men are looking at all the prettier women. Outside I say who cares, inside I hope to catch someone staring at me so I can feign contempt and call them pervert. Inside I don’t mind people checking me out as long as it isn’t a pervert. I have caught myself ogling. We had a pact before we started, if either of us were uncomfortably or over-jealous we would put the brakes on. Our first couple were certainly younger and more fit, we know now we both had some jealous moments. Best way to overcome jealousy is to confront and discuss.

I’m sorry if my first answer offended it was meant to be sarcastic. Jealousy is real. Only you know if you can deal with your feelings. When I got to fuck Honey I didn’t think about anyone who went before me and didn’t care what would happen after. I got to fuck a gorgeous athletic person who I was happy knew what she was doing. For some reason she was attracted to me for reasons I don’t understand. Deep in my gut I hated she was fucking others and got turned on know she was eating pussy too. I wanted to watch the latter and needed to see the former I don’t know how others feel watching the person they love fucking others. One side of me wants her to enjoy as much as she can. Men know if their wife are enjoying by how she looks and sounds and how she moves. I know she isn’t faking. I have watched her with dozens of guys, still question my own abilities for absolutely no reason. She chose me as her love the one she wants to fuck every day. I have a hard time not comparing myself to everyone of her sex partners. Is he better looking? Fuck everyone is in my head. Every guy appears to have a bigger cock to me, every guy can go longer, every guy makes her cum louder and more times. I know it’s not true, there are though. You can’t tell jealousy to go away, you deal with your emotions or you don’t. I watched last week an athlete who from my POV was way bigger than me go nonstop for what seemed forever make Honey scream over and over again, I kept thinking do I do that for her. I’m thinking I’m happy for her, I’m thinking damn he’s doing it to my wife better than I can. Jealousy and then we go home and fuck and she says she loves me. I’m not an MFM guy, she normally is a MF or FF that often turns into a FMF with no jealousy from me.

Ha! She did. She did it with that friend of her brother and gave me the details that weren’t that exciting. The big scare was I had heard it could hurt and getting pregnant. I had a boyfriend, my age, that almost took my prize, he may have with a finger even if it wasn’t the big event. I was willing and he wanted to, then he lost it before the main event. Think it bothered him that we didn’t go all the way. The following week my friend talked me into going with her brother who was so called experienced. He did know his way around a female body in a good way. It wasn’t as painful or bloody as I was expecting. I think my boyfriend may have been the one who took away the virginity just not the way I thought it would be.

At 15 my friend and I competed to be the first to be with a guy. I had boys “feel me up” and had one grind so much he left with a big stain. My friend dated an older boy, her brothers friend and she used to tell me what they did. I was kind of envious of her but too scared to do what she was doing. She told me he licked her and she gave him a blow job. I knew about all of that yet I was thinking how can you do it. She said it was fun and offered to do something to me, my first oral experience.

I was never interested in sex with other women until I became comfortable with my husband having sex with other women, two years after I was being poly with him and my boyfriend/ex-fiancé. Then I really wanted to watch, participate, and play with them. Sex with these women, the ones who were bi, was "reclaiming" sex as much as it was for me to get back with hubby, looking into her vagina, licking her, bringing her to another orgasm. I guess I'm fucked up in a way, it was (/is, I'm still that way) just as important to me to show that I could bring her sexual pleasure as it was/is for me to please him. But it's all good, they like what I like to do as much as I do.

Interesting, since my wife's earliest sexual experiences (oral sex and finger fucking) started with other girls in junior high school. Daniela said that even the totally straight girls justified it as practicing for when they started with boys. Her Lesbian interests and activities have never diminished. I guess there is a learning curve you had to climb. There are significant distinctions, however. She has never sought a relationship with a woman as she has with men, only sex. While she is dominant towards men, she is very submissive to women. And while she likes older men, Daniela is attracted to college girls. Do you now have preferences for attractiveness in women? Are your feelings different having sex with men and women?

A first experience is the hardest choice a couple can make and I know for me I was shaking not only being touched it was watching my rocker having sex with another woman. I have full knowledge of him worrying and having performance anxiety, he didn’t.

I don’t know what Honey does alone with women, only what she does when I’m there. We share pussy and we compare. Sweet pussy, stanky pussy, juicy pussy, clits, lips and screaming loud sex. If she is fucking and I watched I have no problem saying the guy has a fat cock or a small cock or man he went forever. Someone who shoots a big load on her I think I notice more. Always fun to talk and share what we were thinking. Got me thinking do you look at a pussy like I do.

We prefer people around our age but have found that our get togethers were becoming more diverse. I find the girls in our group will play with men 5 years younger and 10 years older. The guys have no limit on the legal younger side and for that matter none on the older side lol. My girl playmates are usually around my age and I just wonder how many of the girls think I’m too old now.

Mr - If you asked me what my number was prior to swinging I would have had to stop and think. No idea. It isn't high by any means, but I just never bothered to keep count. I don't know my wife's number. 1, 2, 50, 100? Whatever. I don't understand why it matters.