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OK, well I'm not going to be any help at all. To summarize - your husband cheated on you and lied to his friends. Now he is asking you - the person he betrayed - to help him continue to lie to the people he betrayed you with because he also betrayed them. The foundation of swinging is open, honest communication. Your husband knows this and knows he is wrong, otherwise he would not be asking you to lie for him. Your husband should be outed to his group and should be blacklisted by them. How you handle his lying and cheating in your marriage is entirely up to you but my advice is very much to not continue to enable his lying and cheating.

Great advice above. The only thing I might add is the joining a swinger site like SwingLifeStyle, SDC, SwingTowns will give you access to event listings too. Attending some off-premise meet and greets will be a good way to get a feel for things and start to meet some people. On the how to approach, just do what feels natural. If you meet up for dinner or drinks and it seems like you all feel some chemistry, then just see how it goes. If they are interested in a second date, then you are probably well on the way. Less common is things feel so perfect, it may even happen on the first date. Most common is it won't happen at all. Swinging takes a lot of work since finding a 4-way match isn't as easy as people think it will be. Just be patient though, success will come and will be worth the wait when it does. Good Luck!

Welcome to the Swingers Board! Thank you for your thoughtful and thought-provoking post. There are a lot of very wise people here, so I'm sure you will get some good advice and feedback. I can't say I have any experience with the relationship specific type trauma and stigma, so I don't have any personal experience to draw on there for advice. So instead of trying to fake it, I will just leave that up to others who hopefully can give better answers. I will say after reading your post that I commend you both for doing the hard, and yes, sometimes painful, work that it takes to keep a relationship going and make it a lasting one. I would offer this advice though based on my sense of where you both are at. Take your time, and take baby steps. People often throw caution to the wind and dive right in. I think that's a mistake for most, and often doesn't turn out well in the long run. Don't let any feeling of pressure, either from outside or inside, dictate the speed at which you move. There are a lot of ways to dip your toe into swinging to see how it feels. And, since it's just a toe in the water, if it turns out you don't like the feel, then not going to be any harm done. For example, attending some off-premise meet and greets would be a good way to get a feel for what swingers are like. Events like that are usually held at a bar, etc., and since the events are out in public, then by necessity going to be relatively tame. Most couples are willing to help answer questions for newcomers. At an off-premise event, they aren't going there with their mind on playing as much, more just hanging out with friends. So, it's just a more laid-back casual atmosphere with more time for in-depth conversation than say a Saturday night at an on-premise swingers club. You might want to try a few different ones too. Just like any other club or group, the overall vibe depends on the members and sort of self selects over time to fit the majority. So a more laid back group focused more on the social aspects is probably going to be seen as kind of boring by someone more focused on the sex, and those folks will likely move on to another group quick. Same holds true going the other direction too. Usually you can pick up some hints on what the group is like just from how they do their event listings. If that goes well and this is still something you both want to pursue, then you can move on to attending a swingers club or house party. No always means no, and there should never be any pressure to play, but these type events are going to be a little more intense. Still worth doing though even if you just sit at a table in a dark corner and watch. You'll pick up a lot from just watching others. Again, each club has it's own vibe, and even different nights of the week at the same club can have a different vibe. I'd recommend sticking to couples-only nights at first. If you guys aren't the clubbing type, then that's fine too. Some people like clubs, some don't. Even if you decide to forego the clubbing in favor of looking online for couples to meet one on one to see if there is any chemistry there, I still believe the meet and greets are a good first step. I believe getting the chance to talk to swingers face to face in a non-threatening environment will be super helpful given some of the feelings you have expressed. Good luck! To me, the Cardinal Rules of Swinging are 1) Have fun!, and the most important one, 2) Have fun together! If each step along the way, both of you are having fun, then that's a pretty good sign you are in a safe and good place and might want to consider giving the next step a try too.

I'm not sure I've see another post with so much deceit. Joined a group but didn't tell you - lie 1 told you about a meeting after the fact - lie 2 Told you he attended a meet but was celibate - lie 3 then starts having sex with you and being "honest" - manipulative and probably lying. (my guess no facts to prove that) 100% honest but wants you to lie about his permission and your participation I'm sorry, but his trying to 'sell' this behavior as wanting to swing when it's simply him having an affair and hoping you'll come along like a good girl is crazy. You deserve better.

My opinion is your husband is a lying piece of shit and does not deserve you or the group of lifestyle people he has been lying too! You can do better then this. I have no advice on what you should do at this party other then not to let him drag you down this bad karma ride with him. This guy would be kicked out of any real lifestyle group immediately if people knew what he was really about. How you could ever trust him again is beyond me.

Danger, danger, danger! This is not swinging. This is cheating, and you shouldn't enable this. Swinging isn't supposed to be a way to fix a broken marriage. It's supposed to be a decision that both parties willingly undertake together. He went back into swinging without you, and the journey is supposed to be taken together. If he hadn't slept with another woman, would you even be contemplating a dip into the lifestyle? This sounds like your trying to justify and enable his poor decision, and all kinds of red flags are popping up.

Find out what the most popular swinger site is in your area. When you find that out, pay for a membership to that site. Create a profile that includes plenty of info about both of you, likes, dislikes, what you’re looking for in this venture. Include pics of both of you. It doesn’t have to be face pics, you can keep those private to send to people you plan to meet. Interact. Search profiles. Message couples that pique your interests. You’ll get an influx of messages when you’re new. Find a couple that you may be compatible with. Meet for drinks or dinner. Keep it casual until you’re ready to make the plunge. The rest you’ll figure out. Make sure to communicate with your partner thru the whole process. From my experience the number one mistake new couples make is lack of communication. Good luck on your journey.

I was just wondering how the women here who've done gangbangs felt after their first one. My first big gangbang was with another woman and we had 12 guys show up. It was pretty intense for both of us because we may have overestimated the number of guys we could take. It was really difficult for both of us because we each played with all 12 guys and we both did anal. There were times during that night when we thought we couldn't take any more. Afterwards I had a mix of emotions. I was exhausted but after about an hour I felt a sense of calmness and peace. It might sound strange but I was really proud of myself. What really surprised me was that before the night was over I was feeling horny again and played with some of the couples who had come to watch our gangbang.

You should just agree to go then out him once you’re there. This is the kind of thing that gives swinging a bad name.

The only advice I will offer is to make sure you’re both solid in your relationship before attempting swinging. Getting into the lifestyle will magnify everything. I’ve seen a few relationships implode because they thought it would fix their troubled marriage. Good luck in your journey.

The chastity device is sort of a must for those into the cuckold scene. Its benefits are largely psychological, although one physical 'benefit' is that it keeps hubby in a pent-up state while wifey enjoys her date. This prevents the super-aroused hubby from jerking off to the point of exhaustion, thus ensuring he is ready, willing and able to reclaim his naughty wife at the end of the night.

Find somebody better, this man is a lying piece of shit and does not deserve you. Swinging is about open and hones communication and you are being cheated on, lied to and now he is asking you to be part of his lying and manipulations. Find somebody better, you are an amazing and loyal woman and there are many men out there who would be happy to be part of your life - choose somebody better next time.

Once you meet a couple or two or three, you may get invited to a house party. Usually, an orgy like experience in a playroom. Early in our career, I just wanted to swap couple to couple. I later discovered that we could freelance. Very enjoyable. Some parties are a bust, but most were fun. But I am getting ahead of you guys.

I second everything above. I was sort of ok with this, and giving you huge kudos for being as understanding and forgiving and open as you are being. Then we got to the part about it being the same group, your feelings about that, and his pressuring you to still attend. That's when I called bullshit and switched to hell no. He should be thanking his lucky stars he even still has you at all, and then on top of that, a wife that is open to at least considering swinging, which the vast majority of men can only dream of. He is in no place to be trying to call the shots at all, none, zero. To me, this behavior shows swinging is still about all about him. Just like using swinging to cheat before was all about him. Swinging is something done together. If he can't handle your ground rules without complaint or resentment, then I think it would be very wise to put this whole idea aside for now and work on the core of the relationship.

I don’t count because it doesn’t matter. I never asked my wife how many people she had sex with when we met 24 years ago, nor did she ask me because it didn’t matter. The only real answer I can give is more than before we got married.

Many on here are very helpful and will chime in I'm sure. My wife and I started with a phone app called "3 fun" We met our first couple there. The next one we met on "Adult friend finder" these are optional pay sights and will expand your options if you do pay. Also you can look into clubs near you, not sure what they are doing about covid at clubs, Visiting one is still on our bucket list. Best of luck.

When we were younger (twenties), that is the two guys in our family and Walter were younger, they were indeed hornier and wanted to fuck multiple (more than two) times, but even then their recovery times spaced things out nicely.

So HOT!!! We totally get your perspective. My husband is completely turned off by guys kissing guys and has absolutely no interested in doing another guy anally in any form or fashion. I am the same with regards to guys kissing but the whole sucking and fucking anally - It totally gets me off!!! As for my husband doing another guy anally, I get it, he has me for all the anal he could ever want. He seldom even does the other ladies in our group anally. I am once again, TOTALLY into the whole handling and sucking the Big Cock as well as watching the guys do it, especially feeding it to them. AND stuffing or trying to cram the Big ones into their super tight little backsides. So to each, his or her own.

Yes, most definitely! This is how my husband eventually joined in with me.

When I hold a cock and look at my bf he knows that I am telling him "it's your turn" just started this and it hot

My wife and I talked about that. We have a fantasy where I would suck a guy hard before he entered her. We share this time to time during sex and right before she is about to orgasm and it really gets us both off. I’m not exactly bi but I would welcome an experience like that.

Have been thinking about this lately, me and my wife are thinking about giving the lifestyle a try and she wants to do a mfm which I'm cool with but we were talking one night about what really gets her hot and she said watching to guys get it on. So I asked her what she would think about watching a man suck my cock and she thought about it and was wetter than she has ever been and we fucked our brains out just from the thought of it. Don't know if I she find a single or couple. She has said she would like to try a woman as well.

First off let me say I’m kinky af and my wife is a good ol christian country girl.. so I always assumed my fantasy of watching her in a gangbang would never happen. I thought it wouldn’t happen with anyone actually.. until my wife was gone for two weeks on a cruise to Jamaica. Her gorgeous sister was staying with us temporarily and that second night her boyfriend broke up with her.. we had a couple drinks.. talked.. and that was it. The next night tho she asked me to come to a house party with her.. I went.. we got too drunk to drive and decided to stay there. Around 2-3 in the morning it was just her, me, six other guys and the hosts wife who was sleeping. I don’t remember who did it.. but someone put a porno on in the background. We migrated from the kitchen to the living room.. all awkwardly watching porn. My sister in law noticed one of the guys was rubbing himself under his pants.. I don’t know if it was that or the porn but something turned her on. She slid closer to me and put my hand on her thigh. It didn’t take long before I was fingering her and the other guys started to circle around us. We slid her clothes off and laid her across the couch.. everyone had a hand on her, groping her.. my buddy from high school was the first to have sex with her. I kid you not.. this was something out of a dirty porno with everyone stroking themselves over top of her.. my buddy pulled out and finished on her belly.. she didn’t hesitate touching the next guys thing and lining him up.. this went on for about 30 minutes each guy taking a turn.. some finishing on her belly, on on her face and the last didn’t even bother pulling out. Now I’m normally not into this kind of thing.. but she was dripping their leftover out.. kinda gently rubbing it around.. I honestly only intended to finish myself off until she sat up halfway and wrapped her legs around me.. she was BEGGING me to do it and by now I ain’t have the willpower to stop.. I slid into the creamiest, loosest and warmest vagina I’ve ever been in.. I pounded away for a few minutes and when I told her I was about to cum, this girl pulled me closer and told me not to pull out.. it was the largest load I’ve ever pushed out in my life. We slept together that night.. didn’t talk about it for months.. until she text me one night asking me to come hang out. I declined. My wife never found out.. I thought the whole situation would never be brought up again. But a year ago that dirty little B word was hanging out in the city with my wife/her sister.. when she came back the next day she was acting weird/distant.. bugged the hell out of her and she finally told me she was drunk at a party (of course) where her and my sister had a “threesome”. Turns out it wasn’t a threesome tho and she let 3 or 4, maybe even more, guys have sex with her. She blamed it on the liquor.. I flipped tf out.. our trust has been shaken to its core but we still together. That’s the first and the last story I hope I ever have to share on this topic.

Mary got a little wild at a house party one night, it wasn't a gang bang per se. Normally, the most she would do in one night was three - one man in a foursome with me, perhaps a single guy, and of course me. One night, she did four in an orgy-type situation. That night at the house party, after a foursome a single guy desired her, she agreed and didn't complain when he took her into the common room. And then the chain started. We're sure she had at least eight, the total may have been a dozen or more. On the ride home, it didn't seem much different than any other night, except she was very tired and we didn't have reclaim sex. The next day, I couldn't tell any difference as we got up and went to church. When we finally got around to talking about it later that day, she was exuberant about the experience, and when we hit the mattress in the afternoon she seemed as excited as usual.

I was tired and sore as hell. I had nine men. They came back for seconds and thirds. Loved it. Hubby was proud of me and I felt great pride too. Ten years ago I did 23 over three days at an adult nudist resort we are members of. I love sex.

Did just this a few months ago, wife and I just married after a few years of dating, and no regrets from either one of us doing a gangbang. We had talked about it a few times and visited a few nudist and swinger clubs over the years. Went out one night to a swinger club and things just clicked into place for the both of us finally. She ended up taking 5 total over about 2 hours. A few barebacked her unknowingly, but thats another story. We plan to do it again actually as it was great from every angle imaginable.

Yes - it’s definitely something I enjoy after having a good vaginal orgasm. 9 times out of 10 when we are playing with another guy, we get into a DP session as long as his cock isn’t too big - that does nothing for me. My husband and I enjoy it as well.

I tried it before just to experience how it feels. After the experience, just like Couplers, I felt empowered that I was able to try what others would just love to fantasize about. The experience was great from an hedonistic point of view - that is when I turned-off all logical and moral filters for a brief moment in time. Afterwards aside from being worn out and dead tired, there was guilt (I'm not saying it was absolutely wrong because everything was consensual) but it was like all the philosophers I read about were debating with me inside my head on the nature of being human, of pleasure, or of the purpose of human sexuality. Then there was a bit of worry if I caught some bugs from my partners during the process I call it a "mini-gb" and wrote about it at some prior post. I feel 3 guys all at one time are just enough for my experiment as it is difficult to organize a larger group that I would consider 'safe' for my psyche. Small group but not dull at all. It was somewhat similar to the experience of "willyoats" in a prior post from this thread: It was my last gb but later on I tried to beat my own record to have tried 4 partners on a date, separately but successively in one day. At least it is at par with Coupler's record, though not all at the same time.

Yes there was a point where I was on all fours and one of the guys pulled out of me and slipped his cick inside my ass. After an orgasm or two it felt great.

My first gangbang was not planned just happened with 3 of hubby's mates. They were watching some boring sport on tv so went into kitchen and opened bottle of wine. So then went in and sat down between them. I was wearing a light summer dress and told them I was very warm and got up and stepped out of the dress so sat down again. They were looking at hubby to see his reaction and hubby told them to do what ever they wanted. I could feel hands all over me. I told them to undress and would suck their dicks which they were more than happy to do. I lead them to our bedroom to which all made love to me. I thought I would be sore which I wasn't. The mates would keep asking hubby when could they arrange. It became a regular thing with more guys being involved.

Mixed emotions after the first one. I was with a previous boyfriend and it was really all about him. We belonged to a nudist club that was very vanilla all day and then completely hedonistic at night. He enjoyed showing me off during the day and introducing me around. I was 24 and definitely got attention. My first involved 8 guys of mixed ages. It started out as a card game with me serving drinks naked. My boyfriend asked how I would feel about letting a couple of them touch me. I was horny as hell from being naked all day so Inwas all in. I sat on the couch and they took turns feeling my tits and rubbing my pussy. Eventually one guy started giving me oral and i was in heaven. As I leaned back a guy started jerking his cock by my face to I took him in my mouth. Another guy added his big cock to the mix and soon I was sucking three cocks. I knew what was next so i got on all fours so they would have easy access to my open pussy. As i concentrated on sucking their cocks I could feel them taking turns sliding their cocks in me. They would pump me hard for. minute or two and then switch. It was crazy, i didn’t look at them I could just feel their cocks in me. A couple of them were bigger than what I was used to - I loves they way they felt. After I had my first orgasm, I could hear them as they moaned and I stared to feel their cum landing on my ass and on my back. One guy was seated so I got on top of him so I could face the other waiting guys. Another guy got in front and worked his cock inside me as well. I was wet and loose at this point so I easily took both of their cocks inside me. I was sucking cocks and taking loads of cum on my face and in my mouth. I was so taken with all the guys and the whole experience that I wasn’t sure where my boyfriend was or if he was even there. Afterwards I felt pretty weird coming back. It definitely rocked my world but it didn’t happen again until I was married. I liked being used and I definitely loved being the center of attention - still do. 8 is bit much, but three or four fun guys is perfect for the occasional slutty workout at this point in my life and relationship.

It was fun but I felt kind of let down due to not as many showing up as I wanted. Planning another one for this month for my birthday, hoping for a better turnout.

Nice - I have only entertained three at once and it was amazing. After a painfully slow seduction on the dance floor, we finally went to the swing room when it was clear that my husband was going to let them both join us. They undressed me, put me in the swing and then got naked for me. They stroked their cocks and took turns fucking me. They would switch before cumming so it lasted forever. When it was clear that they were ready to pop, we all masturbated until they covered me. I must have came 5 times before they finished. It’s still my favorite fantasy when masturbating. I loved getting the full attention of their three hard cocks.

I don't think the rest of the LGTG is a lifestyle. I suspect a gay man and a lesbian woman, for example, would say they are attracted to those of the same sex. I don't think that would be considered a lifestyle. I certainly would say I'm a heterosexual first and I dabble with those of the same sex. I see that more of a lifestyle than not. I chose to play with both sexes, but at the end of the day, I'm heterosexual. I could also see a lesbian woman, who may also play with men defining herself as homosexual and yet enjoys playing with men on occasion. I guess it's about degrees. Who would you be with if you had to choose. A person of the opposite sex or a person of the same sex. Then a second tier might be, would you play with the opposite as a lifestyle choice. I guess a true bi-sexual wouldn't distinguish between either.

Wow, that's enlightening. What I think you are saying is that gays aren't tolerant of one's bi-sexual preferences because they've spent so much time trying to persuade the rest of the world that they are born gay and it's not a choice. Accepting bisexuality is accepting that sexuality is a choice. Damn shame.

Yeah, unfortunately bisexuality can see attacks from both sides. Straights think we're gay and denying it. Gays see our ability to have a monogamous relationship with one sex or the other as being able to choose your sexuality rather than be born with it. So we can end up even deeper in the closet denying half our selves depending on who we're with.

Halftimes can drag on forever. Put the time to good use.

I have been in more than a few MMF threesomes or sex parties where allegedly 'straight men' are in reality either bisexual or gay and don't want to admit it to themselves OR their partner. I think the B in the LGBT community is one of the most misunderstood because not enough bisexuals are out, particularly men. If the majority continue to deny their sexuality, then this stigma continues

I'm having my first train this Saturday. Going to a hotel, I'll be blindfolded, people show up, put on a condom, fuck me and leave. Hoping for a good turnout, so far I have approximately 18 interested guys,who knows how many will actually show up though. Put the hot date on SLS, So I figure there will be more people contacting me between now and Saturday. Hoping its as fun as I'm imagining. Fingers crossed.

Of course, it's not weird. We all have our preferences and boundaries. I'd say sucking a nice cock to completion is a 10 on my scale. Ass play a 6 and kissing a 3. I am definitely much more interested in the cock and balls!

That is so hot. Wife and I have a couple and the hubby is huge . I love to suck his massive cock with his or my wife. He's like twice my size and I will say I love his giant penis. But I'm not into kissing, ass play with guys. Is that strange that I'll suck his big dick and let him cum in my mouth but I won't kiss or do ass?

My fantasy is to see my wife sucking a nice hard dick, then sticking it in my mouth and slowly jacking him off. Next he sticks that hard wet cock in her pussy and as he pumps her I am there licking her clit and his cock. Next I want her to pull him out and he stick that meat stick in my ass and I look at her as she is watching me get pounded. Finally I want her to jack him off into my mouth and load me up with hot sticky jizz!!! Thats my fantasy!

I understand why you are obsessed, it is THE most erotic experience that you will ever have. Watching someone that you love completely lost in sexual pleasure is sooo beautiful. :-)

I can honestly say I am obsessed in seeing my wife fuck another man. I have expressed it every week to her when have sex. She loves the fact that is my primary fantasy and we talk about it during foreplay and while we are in either doggystyle or bareback position.

Two comments... First, the most difficult thing I ever tried to explain to my wife was why I enjoy watching her with other men. Second, the word 'cuckold' is so often missued. This has nothing to do with being cuckold.

Let's see... Starting slow, with a MMF instead of a full on gang bang is probably a good idea. As you say, see how both of you react to the reality as opposed to the fantasy. It is possible that this only works as fantasy. As for your "big question" ... why. I can't tell you what's going on in your head, but I can tell you what goes on in mine. I had exactly the same fantasy. I wanted to see my wife fucked like crazy by a bunch of guys. I wanted to watch and then take her like crazy. We've made that fantasy a reality... lots and lots of times... and it was amazing! We started with an MMF and worked our way up to a gang bang. I've sat back and watched up to a dozen guys taking my wife, singly or in pairs, before fucking her myself... either alone of with another guy. We love it. Why? My wife loves it because she enjoys feeling multiple men touching her, teasing her and fucking her. I love it because I love watching. My wife is so beautiful and sexy I like seeing her body move, seeing the look on her face and hearing the sounds she makes while she is having sex. I feel that I can't fully appreciate all that if I am caught up in my own reactions and sensations, so I love watching her with other guys. Also, I have a dominant side (which complements her submissive side) and I get a rush from saying "here, this is my wife but I'm letting you guys share her... until I say stop and take her for myself." It is actually the opposite of cuckold, which is a submissive fantasy. For me, yeah, there is a strong element of "all these guys want my wife... and now there's having her... but she remains my wife. All these guys can have her, once, but she comes home with me." It's a turn on for us both. Explore your fantasy. I hope you have as much fun with it as we do... and I'll be happy to share anything from our experiences that may help you. Ask whatever you like, here or message me directly.

At a party a few weeks ago wifey got her 1st gangbang. 5 total. She was running around the pool nude looking for #6 when I got her. She found him but I was tired of supervising at that point and making sure all was ok. One guy was trying to go bareback, he was having the ol limp condom issue thing going on. She had a good time but was a little worn out the next day, she still had to take care of me when she got home so that was 6 for her. We were ready for it at that point, it had been talked about in the past how many she could handle. She felt pretty sexy, guys waiting to have their turn with her in the gang bang room.

Our first one was at a club in the group room. I supervised all the guys who were allowed to particapate. She ended up taking a total of 11 guys but they funny thing was several of them went LIMP. So she did a lot of sucking and hand work. The only problem was that some of the guys needed to show respect. Several forgot that if you wanted to get into the action you needed to get naked to participate. After a while I would tell the ones who would not get naked they were not allowed to be part of it. Only took the rejection of 2 guys for them to respect the situation. But when it was over and done she was all Smiles:):)

My first and only time included 8 guys. I could tell you it stopped being sexually arousing after the third guy. Mr. A and I were both new at it and we didn't think of having a "fluffer" so each guy took a while to cum and I was getting sore, whcih lasted a couple of days. My initial emotion was a sense of relief and proud that I did it, but I could tell you that after everyone left, I felt guilty. I think it has a lot to do with my conservative asian upbringing. I had the same feeling when I first got into the lifestyle. I have gotten over it mostly because Mr. A has been very supportive. But the guilt do tend to rear its ugly head whenever I see my parents.

I forgot to mention above other times that might qualify as GB. Once three of us guys had sex with her twice in less than two hours. Six bangs, but only three guys = GB? That's the one she enjoyed the most. Once, two of us did her 5 times in about 18 hours, 3 times in the afternoon and evening and twice more in the morning. That's 10 for her. Is that a GB? Doesn't make much difference; we all loved it!