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Hi, I am fairly new to swinging . My husband and I have been active for a few months . When on line and looking at profiles there is picture after picture of the wife but rarely one of the husband. I get it, women are beautiful and bring more attention in general. My husband will decide to start messaging with someone and be super interested because the woman is appealing ... To the point he is ready to set up a meet for dinner/drinks. My response repeatedly is ... I would like to see the husband. Many times the husband is not someone I would be interested in. It's not because I have insane standards but it is just honestly the person is not even close to my type. So I have to tell my husband, No. This leaves me feeling like I am the one holding us back from opportunities and disappointing him. I am not taking one for the team. It would be so much easier if the husband's pics were in the profile before my husband has started chatting. If he engages them on an app like Kik and the husband also engages with good conversation I am much more willing to meet. Most of the time the wife is happy to chat and banter while the husband just doesn't participate. I have a hard time getting excited about meeting up with someone who has shown zero interest. I am not saying this is ALL the guys. We have met a couple of couples where things have gone amazingly well. We live in a very rural area so the on line forum is the best way to meet people. It just seems like it's harder for someone like myself when I rarely see the husband's pictures or they don't participate in the chats. My husband will have this great rapport built with the wife which he has already seen pics of and then I am stuck going to a first meet with no idea what the spouse is like and the weight of being the one to veto. It is frustrating. Any suggestions?

We've noticed that too, and we think it's bc women in the Lifestyle tend to keep themselves in better shape than the men, but we agree that it's a no-go if hubby won't put himself out there. How can anybody think a woman will engage another couple sight unseen? In these days of online everything, we have replaced our first meet - which used to be at pubs or coffee shops - with Zoom meetings. You get to see and chat with ppl, and if the decision is 'No' it's easier on Zoom than face-to-face.

We have a “move” to get the party started. When we invite a couple to our house to play, we start with drinks and snacks. After our chatting has gone on for awhile and we are slightly lubricated (alcohol-wise), we ask if they want to see our map. My sister gave us a magnetic Rand McNally wall map. We put magnets on the places thar we’ve been and we’ve to quite a few places, so we discuss it. Coincidentally, our bedroom is two steps away and it’s a short trip to say would you like to step over here and then one thing leads to another and we’re off to the races.

I just had one of my fantasies fullfilled. A gang bang with 6 guys. I'm still a little tired but it was wonderful.

So my wife and I have discussed swinging for several years. We've decided we're going to play soon, maybe by visiting a new lifestyle club in our town. We've discussed our preferences, boundaries, concerns, etc.... The Mrs. Biggest concern is: We both feel like we're really going to enjoy this. I'd like to see her with another woman, and she's always been curious about women. She has no doubt she'll enjoy that experience. I'd also like to see her with another man. She has said me and another guy with her would be hot, and we roleplay this often.. We're both bi-curious. So her concern is that once we start down this path, our regular love-making, and occasional fucking may seem diminished because adding a third or possibly another couple is going to be erotic overload, so to speak. How do y'all experienced swingers find this has affected your normal, day-to-day sex lives? Does regular love making seem less intense since y'all started swinging? Thanks in advance. Sean

My hall pass date, Melissa, has found a boyfriend. He's a kind and hansome black guy called Mack. Last weekend we met him and Melissa and my wife exoeriencedllll her first black cock. We went with condoms for safety but hopefully everything will check out fine and we can enjoy the real thing soon. We have been swinging for over 3 years and have now got 3 couples to swing with. Including hall passes, we reckon we have now had about 20 sessions. That's not so may about once every two months. Is that a low average? Any comments on how frequently the rest of LS folks swing? 9

We would call it "sum of squares". But then we're nerds.

Men cannot be tested for HPV. Condoms are of dubious value against it. If any of the parties are under 45, they can be vaccinated. Unfortunately, we know several women who have had medical procedures due to HPV. Also, women in the lifestyle should have regular Pap smears. I am not a doctor, but talk to your doctor about it. They assume that married women are monogamous. Sorry to be Debbie Downer, but swingers don’t want to talk about it and it is very prevalent.

The question about averages depends a lot on what else you have going on in your life. Researching your placement on the curve is one rabbit hole that I would advise staying out of. The question is . Are the two of you content?

Concur with hunterdon--the first meet, which used to be coffee or a drink or a snack, is so readily replaced by a video virtual meet and greet with all four.

Reconnection sex is our drug. Yes, we have great sex with our friends but the sex between us that follows is fucking amazing.

So excited to read this. We are in the “talking stage” and I am already super charged by thinking about it. We are having fun exploring and taking in the journey.

Remember: search is your friend. This is probably the most popular question asked on the board. Short answer: Make sure that you are both on the same page. Make sure that your relationship is ROCK SOLID, you trust each other COMPLETELY, and have excellent lines of communication. Set your rules, limits, and expectations in advance knowing that you can always change them as you move forward Do not change them unless you are outside of a sexual situation and the two of you can discuss this and agree. Do not move faster than the slowest member is comfortable with. If one of you says no, then the answer for both of you is a hard no. Once you get to this point, then sign up and create a profile online. Find the website that has the most people in your area and PAY TO JOIN IT (most members ignore free members thinking that they are fakes, flakes or not serious) Be picky. Finding the right couple (or single) is not going to be easy, but stick to finding what you want. Once you find another couple (or single) that you both are interested in, and they are interested in you two as well, set up a meeting for drinks or dinner. Realize that you will also be rejected...that couple that seems perfect for you two might not be interested in you...don't take it personal. Meet with no intentions other than meeting someone new to see if there is interest in more later. DO NOT WASTE TIME texting and emailing forever, you will find out more in 5 minutes in person than an eternity of texts and emails. If they cannot talk about or are uncomfortable with talking about sex during this meeting, this is a yellow flag, proceed with caution. Find out what their limits, rules and expectations are and see if they align with yours. After the first meeting, talk with your partner and decide if you want to meet them again keeping in mind that they now might not be interested in you. Don't take it personal if they are not interested at this point. If everyone is good to go, start planning your next meeting. No means no, always ask for permission. It seems like it is always difficult to get things started. Don't be afraid to ask them if it is okay to start taking off your and/or your partners clothes. Buckle your seat belts and hold on as you see what happens from here...

Following our recent LS cruise, we were discussing the couples we met who we really liked. Unsurprisingly (we've been together more than four decades) we keep coming to the same features. It's not age, it's maturity. It's not physical perfection, it's how they look after themselves. It's not their (Myers Briggs) personality type, we gravitate to extroverts and introverts, knowers and sensers etc. It's their authenticity. It's how they treat each other. It's their confidence in, and respect for, each other. It's their joy in being with each other. Call us old-fashioned. Or just call us old. What makes a couple attractive to/for you?

For us it is and always has been the person or couples personality, attitude and humor. Most are adventurous fun loving people, singles or couples who viewed sex play as an extra playful activity. For us it is not a need or a notch on our belt. It is a social event that also includes sex play whatever and where ever it might lead.

Watching her doing oral to a woman for the first time is very arousing. When we meet people who are looking for a first time FF Linda will ease into it with giving oral sex putting her own sex last.

I think our experience is generally the opposite, and from discussions of "reclamation sex" as a phenomenon, I think it's generally the opposite for a lot of people. We might have 2x or 3x the normal amount of sex for a week or so after playing, with more casual dirty talk, etc.

I understand her concern, it's real for her, it needs to be addressed. I can only say to her, 'try it, you'll like it!' Humans have a thing with sex, when they have it and it's hot, they want more of it. When they don't have it for awhile, they tend to lose interest. When you have sex with somebody else, you'll find that you're so turned on you can't wait to have sex with your spouse. It's fantastic. But, of course, it's one of those things that seems a little counterproductive until you actually experience it. Best of luck.

If there no one to take sloppy seconds, then guy #1 is going down on me until I am satisfied. My feeling is that there are times I swallow his cum, so he can go down on the mess he made.

My first gangbang was not planned just happened with 3 of hubby's mates. They were watching some boring sport on tv so went into kitchen and opened bottle of wine. So then went in and sat down between them. I was wearing a light summer dress and told them I was very warm and got up and stepped out of the dress so sat down again. They were looking at hubby to see his reaction and hubby told them to do what ever they wanted. I could feel hands all over me. I told them to undress and would suck their dicks which they were more than happy to do. I lead them to our bedroom to which all made love to me. I thought I would be sore which I wasn't. The mates would keep asking hubby when could they arrange. It became a regular thing with more guys being involved.

Nice - I have only entertained three at once and it was amazing. After a painfully slow seduction on the dance floor, we finally went to the swing room when it was clear that my husband was going to let them both join us. They undressed me, put me in the swing and then got naked for me. They stroked their cocks and took turns fucking me. They would switch before cumming so it lasted forever. When it was clear that they were ready to pop, we all masturbated until they covered me. I must have came 5 times before they finished. It’s still my favorite fantasy when masturbating. I loved getting the full attention of their three hard cocks.

We've enjoyed mfm for years and my hubby likes for me to suck him while I'm being fucked. He enjoys watching me being satisfied.

My hubby was in on it. We've done a lot of mfm and I've always wanted to do a gang bang with 6 or 7 guys. I loved every minute of it. They were all very horny and they came all over me.