Leaderboard

Finding a four way match is REALLY HARD to do. It's like when you were looking for your husband...times four. It WILL take some time to find that perfect couple. Also, men are...whats a better word than 'pigs'? Men, more often than not, are visual. The emotional part isn't that important. Women are the ones who are usually looking for that connection with the guy. If it isn't there, it isn't there, and trying to force it to happen doesn't work too often. There have been couples that we have met where we (Ms Gold and myself) thought that they are a perfect match for us...only to find out that they didn't feel the same...at all. It was sad and discouraging to think we found a match, but they didn't agree with us. The trick is to just set it aside and remember that by letting you know now, they are saving you a bunch of time and effort that you can now use to find your match. He just needs to understand that this is how things are. We do have a rule that if one of us says no, then we both are saying no. If you see that the other woman doesn't seem 'into' your husband, just tell him no, you aren't into the other guy and save him from feeling like he is the one being rejected. At the same time, if his self esteem is suffering this much, then maybe you should take a break and work on fixing the base problem. Start out simple by the both of you taking walks in the evening. It may take some time, but working on improving his self esteem is going to help in most other areas as well. Good luck and let us know how things are going.

Go to a club or party in nearby area. One our our best experiences was at a club. We kept bumping into the same couple who were also getting a tour. We finished and the bar and our night began there…..

LoL... you know, thinking about it, I think this is one of the great things about swinging. I know my wife is biased, but I've also watched her have lots of fun with lots of other guys (both individuals and in groups, small and large). When she tells me I'm her absolute favorite, I have no doubt it's true and based on a well-considered comparison with a wide cross section of alternatives. In the end, he needs to find his confidence on his own. No one can find it for him. All you can do it what it sounds like you are doing... continue to support him and love him.

Sounds like you're polyamourous. Being poly isn't wrong and most poly people say it's completely natural, but it's not something everybody can wrap their minds around so the likelihood of you all winding up in a polyamorous relationship together is slim at best. But if you're all actually open to the idea of living together... that could be the beginning of a beautiful poly relationship, or it could be the beginning of a total disaster. I have to confess my wife and I are Poly. We're in a long-term throuple with another man. He and my wife take trips together, even sometimes vacation together, and have sex together whenever they please. Yes, they love each other. Love is a good, healthy emotion and just because you love one person doesn't mean you can't also love another.

Of course we (I) would. Just because a guy is bi doesn't mean he is going to make a move on the husband or is even attracted to him. Bi guys are no more attracted to every guy than a straight woman is attracted to every guy or a straight guy is attracted to every woman. I've also found that the bi guys in couples I've swung with are very repectful of boundaries.

Agreed. So consider matching one to one; leave the foursomes for later. The only couple that we became involved with was Lora and Walter. They were just dating, Lora started fucking hubby, Walter was good with it, we started socializing and having sex with them both as they got serious, engaged, married. It's a different approach. Excellent advice.

If she is giving you consent to do it then you can give it a try on your own! Most people will want her to verify it though. Regardless you will be fighting an up hill battle on your own, because there are probably 100 guys to ever one couple looking for guys by themselves out there. Many people like us do not play with attached guys on their own as well so there is that to to contend with. Also if you are doing this without her consent you can expect even less people to be interested, because cheating is not in anyway swinging.

For swinging, we don’t expect perfect matches. Nice person, groomed well, body and face attractive, can reciprocate sexually and give it the old college try— you’re in.

Yes, sometimes men need a little help, they lose a little confidence with something in life and it spirals down. A little attention to the situation, a little boost can go a long way. He'll look back and wonder how this was ever a problem. Take care, good wife.

If she is willing to give her consent (and she probably isn't) then go for it...knowing that you will have a tough path to follow. Single men in the L/S are EVERYWHERE and finding other couples/women is not easy to do just because of the abundance of men. We actually believe that swinging is a team sport and should always be done together. If she isn't interested, maybe you need to think of taking up a different hobby...since you enjoy swinging, maybe golf?

These are current partners that she has? If so, you're half way there - let her play and only ask that she tell you about it. Eventually you will be allowed to watch, then participate, and some day play with women. Patience, it took me two years of having a boyfriend with hubby's approval before I was comfortable, then eager for him to play. Guy or woman? It's my opinion that every woman wants to have sexual freedom to experience other men and perhaps women. Social pressure labeling her a slut (other women are particularly bad at that) doesn't help. You need to make her feel loved, appreciated, and sexually free. Let her know that she is free to enjoy herself with no expectations on your part, and mean it. She will catch on and you will ultimately get your reward.

It is her thing, you don't need to fully understand it. Your a good man for letting her have her kink and engaging in it with other men to satisfy her desires. I'm sure that she loves you for your indulgence. When I see hubby or Red, the guys in our poly family, doing something with Lora or Clair that they don't do with me, I am happy for them and have given up trying to replicate it. Each pairing (or threesome) has its own way of uniquely fitting together when having sex with each of the others (especially the women because we have our Lesbian side) and it is a primary benefit of being non-monogamous. Tell her that you love her before she gets her freak on, then tell her again when they are finished.

Are you just assuming he would not be interested? He would not be the first guy to stifle himself out of respect for his wife and/or the other lady. Try this. In private over the table start a casual conversation about sharing a household. Mention a "concern of yours " that the situation just might be a touch to personal with edges that you need to address before going forward. The main edge is that you are all normal adults , good friends and they are not exactly repulsive. That you could see the relationship with them becoming physical in such close , continual proximity. That should open the communication door on this without you having to be revelatory to the point that you could not do a reset if things indicate that it is a no go. He may just surprise you be ready for that also.

That should be the point you ARE his wife and feel that way. There are many wives who have reached a boredom threshold who do not feel that way. He is blessed.

We started as "vacation swingers", then after a few vacation hookups we joined a swing club close to home. So all of the couples (and singles) we played with at first were basically random people we had just met. That's common as beginners.

We are having a Difficult time finding another bi-couple. We were with the last one about 4 months ago. THe wifes weren't really into each other. The sad thing is he had one of the best penises I've ever had in my mouth.

Guess he never came back... We must have scared him off. Wasn't me, it was GBC

The comments and results of the poll suggest that the vast majority of respondents are situationally nude, their state of (un)dress dependent on circumstance and company.

Of course, it's not weird. We all have our preferences and boundaries. I'd say sucking a nice cock to completion is a 10 on my scale. Ass play a 6 and kissing a 3. I am definitely much more interested in the cock and balls!

That is so hot. Wife and I have a couple and the hubby is huge . I love to suck his massive cock with his or my wife. He's like twice my size and I will say I love his giant penis. But I'm not into kissing, ass play with guys. Is that strange that I'll suck his big dick and let him cum in my mouth but I won't kiss or do ass?

I'm straight I guess. Wife and I played with a guy. His cock kept slipping out while we were DPing my wife. I had to help keep him in, with my hand, as she was super wet. I was super turned on. Really wanted to explore more, but was to nervous to do anything else. I have never had thoughts about cock, but I would have explored his, covered in my wife's juice. I still get hard thinking about it. Hope someday a similar situation occurs again, so I can play.

I mind making out, feeling, anal with another guy. That's a no go for me. I'm ok with friendly fire and rubbing our dicks and balls. I don't mind receiving blow jobs either. I'm undecided on giving them.. one time i lost a bet and had to let a bi friend with his nearly 10 inch dick have sex with my gf and then suck his dick for 10 seconds right after he finished. Tasted better than I expected but I almost gagged because he got full on hard again in my mouth.

My husband does, because he gets so turned on watching me having fun, especially during a MMF. I do not multitasking good, so he basically has to wait for his turn.

Not really my thing, I think it's a waste of perfectly good sperm especially when it takes quite some time for me to "reload".

I remember one guy whose wife was into gang bang. She would do 10 or 15 guys and all the time he's sitting on the sidelines playing with himself and directing who should be next into her. He never had an orgasm in these sessions, but he sure seemed to be having a good time! I know of one other guy whose main delight was getting himself off at the end of the bed while his wife was screwing another guy. I have masturbated and kept myself hard several times while my wife was with another guy, although never to climax. We always finished me off with me inside of her.