Leaderboard

I have long noticed that a majority of swingers are homophobic. Bi women-ok. Bi males-omg get them away from me. We know couples that won't play with a bi male. BTW I'm straight...but with a couple of drinks and the right situation, who knows? Once upon a time I would never even considered my wife or I being swingers and here we are.

There's never a second chance to make a first impression. Yes, it matters a great deal.

For us, especially the first year or two and diffinately when we had our own gatherings/parties online was only a listing that a large percentage were false, most often single/solo guys. Many were outdated (those that were but had since moved on further in the lifestyle or a banded it entirely but deleting the profile couldn’t or wouldn’t happen. We treated them all as the window dressing they are meant to be. Chatting on line was only a little bit better. a phone conversation was always an eye opener. If only the male would talk even stating the wife/girlfriend was shy or only wanted to talk sex…..especially hardcore sex without any social discussion were always red flags for us. After a phone conversation or two we would set a social meet, usually for lunch or dinner. And never for a non public meet or the possibility of any play being available. Hard rule was we would part company after a social get together, each of us discussing about the other couple. Later another phone call and another meet if all are interested that could lead to…… so with that we avoided any great disappointments, mismatches…..unsafe situations. No awkward need to give excuses on why….or hurt feelings. we had another hard rule….no profile listing, no profile detail and some kind of photo……no initial contact from us. We would respond to those who reached out to us. And because of where we live we would not drive more than an hour to meet. this worked for us for many years. Now we attend one semi private house/club party only and meet anyone new there.

Yes, if people start off on the wrong foot, we are unlikely to meet. It’s part of the vetting process. Some people are terrific, though.

We met a very nice couple at a party a few years ago and I became friends with the wife, going out socially with her shopping and lunch. In a group they were just like other people, very normal sex , some spanking, nothing rough. Privately he told Mike that his wife enjoyed rough sex and he wanted for us to play one on one with Mike dominating his wife. It was natural for Michael, he tried to dominate, not hurt her. He did play rougher from what I ever saw of him. At a lunch I asked her why. Did she like rough play? She said he likes watching. Then she shocked me, her husband is the real submissive, everything he tells men to do to her, he enjoys having done to him. I had to promise not to bring it up, he was a closet submissive. They had gone to a BDSM club and he was dominated and loved it. She said when alone he is very different from the man I know. I only knew this man as a great partner, she said the more they played the more new kinks emerged. She shocked me about the toys they have. She asked me if Mike would think less of him if he had you dominate her husband. I had never been with what I would call a Sissy. Mike said if I was comfortable I should do it, I could always stop. I was to dominate a man who wanted his wife dominated. She had to tell me what to do and I had a hard time. Telling him to kiss and lick was one thing, somethings he wanted harder. How many other men who say their partners enjoy rough sex are only transferring the pain and humiliation they want themselves. I hate that some women endure their partner’s fantasies for the sake of staying together. As @cplnluv1 asked are you doing this for him or for you.

That should be the point you ARE his wife and feel that way. There are many wives who have reached a boredom threshold who do not feel that way. He is blessed.

I'm a bi guy, play with other couples with straight men all the time. Not a big deal. I have had my ass grabbed expectantly by a man I thought was straight. However, I have never grabbed or touched another guy when he told me he was straight. Hope that helps!! Good Luck and have fun!