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It isn't a question of whether or not me or anyone else considers "kissing" to be cheating. It's a question of honesty, openness and communication. It sounds like she isn't being honest and open about what happened. You said already that she bent or broke your rules. It sounds like she may have done other things that you aren't comfortable with and she knows, or fears, that you wouldn't be or she wouldn't be hiding them from you. It's pretty clear you guys have some issues to sort out. It sounds like you guys need to stop playing and start talking. She needs to be open and honest about what happened. You need to be open and honest about how it makes you feel. Try not to turn it into a fight, because that won't help anything in the long run. Just have a real conversation about it. If you can do that, you can resolve this. If you can't, my advice is to stop swinging until you can.

We only play without condoms with our closest friends, and yes I have enjoyed when sloppy seconds happens, Regardless, condomless sex with me is always a mess, it seems I cannot retain much cum inside me. The only downside: more than one guy cum inside me -> I do not why but I feel my pussy smells funny the next day no matter how good I clean myself.

I never said enjoying rough sex is wrong. I think consenting adults should do whatever turns them on (as long as nobody is hurt or put in danger). However, rough sex, in my opinion, is just plain wrong if it is forced upon me without my consent. I was taken by surprise both times and didn't enjoy either encounter. Both of the men happen to be nice guys (have seen them both since) but I would not be willing to play with either in the future.

Wife always had other man cum inside her first, then me. After the first time, I was sold. She is dry, his cock was really fat. After he had ground into her, the dry friction of the intercourse had made the inside of her vagina red hot. When it was my turn, I couldn't believe the sensation my cock felt to the heat. Then there was the slickness of her vaginal walls, that was covered with slime. That was the first time, I just slid in that easily. Needless to say I came in her in less than a minute. Sloppy seconds are the best.

As a side note, my posts fall into three categories here: the social aspects of nonmonogamy (our poly family in particular), the mechanical aspects and pleasure of sex, and me bitching about something which I usually regret later. (I did refrain today from criticizing "Me and my husband...") I think the type of post that I make on any given day depends on what time-of-the-month it is. In retrospect, I should have kept track.

I hope that we came find a group or make a group around here where we live.

You will like it. We husbands in our group agree - there is nothing like reclaiming your wife after she has enjoyed an afternoon or evening of sex with other men who have ejaculated inside her vagina. One recommendation to try is not to go first (or even fuck another woman or jerk off), but let the unbearable excitement build as she fucks another guy or two or three (up to her, for Daniela it depends how fast they are). I like couples swaps, but the MMFs where he goes first are also special.