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I would think having a conversation with “Mike” about the potential situation behind your husband’s back would be anything but productive.

So have you ever walked in on a moment you weren't expected to see? We have walked on each other many times specially if we split during parties, Did you react the way you expected too? Yes, well, it is always hot to watch, to watch each other having sex, it is a huge turn on for us and one of the main reasons to be in the lifestyle.

I've walked in on her many times with other men. On some occasions she specifically designed it with the intent for me to walk in on her, other times I've casually walked in on her, and sometimes she had no idea I was walking in on her. A few unexpected times with different emotions come to mind: 1) Years back I was once at her place for an event and her family and friends were there. At one point I had walked into her room and saw her laying in bed and a big pile under her sheets and she said "thank god I thought you were one of my parents or my brother" and then the guy came out from under the sheets. I didn't see anything but it was a funny moment. 2) At a party (not a swingers party) I had walked in on her in a bedroom with a guy I knew that I hated. I saw her on her knees with his hands behind her head facefucking her pretty hard with a smile on his face as he turned to me. It temporarily rubbed me the wrong way at that moment. I didn't know the guy well but he just had a bad personality and I was surprised, angry, and a little jealous to see her with him. I got over it quickly as she didn't know I disliked him (I don't think he even knew it). 3) At another party (frat house type of party not a swingers party) I woke up on a couch at like 3 or 4am and my GF wasn't with me. It was quiet in the house at this point as most people were sleeping and I go to the bathroom to pee and the door is locked and I hear a guy say "we're busy in here." We're? I listened closely and heard her getting pounded, ass slapped, gagging on dick, being called filthy names like whore, slut, cunt (she likes this type of rough stuff). A few minutes later 2 guys walk out of the bathroom looking like they are ready to pass out and my GF walks out with a smile on her face. That moment made me feel extremely turned on and hot and I had to fuck her right then and there and I did. There are countless other times I've walked in on her but it goes to show that different scenarios can create different emotions.

I would personally be less then impressed to find out my partner went behind my back to talk to a friend about a possible threesome! That is something we should figure out on or own without outside influence. Put it us in the camp of not playing with friends! Too many things could go sideways and it isn’t as easy to just walk away if it is a friend. Millions of people in the world, it shouldn’t be that hard to find someone else.

I asked if he would take take the medicines, since he will not take the vaccine. i am not suggesting that any medicine be withheld to anyone. Tx gubernatorial candidate West refused the vaccine, but accepted monoclonal antibody treatment. I don’t understand why, except that he knew he was in trouble. My question is if you will not take the vaccine, will you use other curative medicines, some equally new?

Well actually … it *IS* your job to name your source if you’re making an assertion. It’s not anyone else’s job to go hunting for the evidence of something that someone else claims to be true. The burden of proof is always on the prosecution.

It used to happen all the time in our poly family (and being walked in on). Would make me jealous, but I loved it. Now with kids the doors are locked.

I've walked in on my wife several times when she was unexpectedly having sex at our house, our bed, actually. The acts that they were involved in, however, wasn't unexpected. Yeah, I was pleasantly surprised, said hello, and told them I'd be in another part of the house and if they needed anything to call me. A couple of times they (my wife and another man, woman, couple) called me for another dick. Had dinner afterwards.

When my husband, James, and I started doing full swaps we decided early on we preferred seperate rooms while swapping. It wasn't long before we unexpectedly indoctrinated a couple that were very good friends of ours into the life style. We had known them for 10 years and had been there when they met, dated and eventually got married. After we all started sleeping together we became even closer to them. They are truly our best friends. When it comes to Adam and Julie we had decided that we were comfortable being completely open with them. So permissions or planning are not needed to be affectionate or intimate with them. So if I want to spend time with Adam I can, if Julie wants time with my James she can. If Julie and I want some female affection, we just do it. So I quickly realized that Adam started his days early and ended his work day around 3 PM every day which was when I got out also. After a full day of work I am ready for a brain break and for me sex is the ultimate brain break, since my husband wasn't out of work yet, I started using Adam to reinvigorate the work engine. So I'd stop at his place on my way home and we would get frisky. My husband and Julie start their day later and they both enjoy morning sex, so Julie would leave her house just after Adam and I went to work and she would drop by our house and go upstairs and wake James for morning loving. Now I know this happens but had never experienced it or saw it, so while it was real, it wasn't "real" to me. One day I got to work and realized I wasn't feeling well so I left work and headed home. To my surprise, my husband and Julie were naked on the couch, she was on top and was seriously riding my husband. Now I know this happens, we had talked about it a lot, but I had never walked in on them doing the deed and it was just as she was orgasming. I should not have been shocked, but I was, and I shouldn't have felt a pang of jealousy, but I did. I had to step out of the room momentarily to compose myself. I'd have been devastated if I had ruined such a beautiful moment. To this day I have no clue what made me flash temporarily jealous shades, was it a first time thing, or was it reality catching me off guard, or if it was how amazing Julie looked. She is fit, thin and beautiful and James deeply enjoys her company. But I can't blame him, cause I regularly enjoy her company also. It doesn't flare anymore now, it was just that first time. So have you ever walked in on a moment you weren't expected to see? Did you react the way you expected too?

Not even sure where to start my post. My husband and I have been in the lifestyle for over a year now. While we've had some hot times, it has been hotter for my husband. He loves EVERY aspect of the lifestyle. The partying, the going out every weekend, the flirting, the texting, the KIKing, the touching, the sex...all of it. It's not that I don't like it, it's that I don't like all of it all the time. We still have two teenagers at home and I'm still a Mom. So sometime's I don't want to feel like I HAVE to Kik someone or have to be sexy...sometimes I want to be a normal family. I love the sexual aspect of the lifestyle. Sometimes the idea of certain situations turns out to be hotter than the situation but it's still fun. What I'm not a fan of: How some of it makes me feel. I don't like watching him be sensual and loving to another woman. I can watch him fuck one, but not the hand touching, sensual kisses, etc. He says the flirting is the hottest part and maybe I just shouldn't be in the lifestyle since I don't like it. Again, I like it....certain times and places. I was a bigger flirt than him before the lifestyle! My husband is ALL in. We are on multiple websites, have over 15 KIK conversations/groups and we go out a minimum of once a weekend (he'd prefer twice). I get overwhelmed and we "slow down" but it's always a very short time and I feel very guilty about it. He checks the websites, Kik, texts habitually. My husband is much less picky about the people we play with. Since he does the majority of the websites he tells me all the time how often he turns people away because he knows I won't be interested. So out of the couples we talk to and sometimes play with there are really only a handful that I'm really into. I just don't feel like always being the wet blanket and saying no. Our KIK conversations would be much much smaller if we only went off my wants and I feel very guilty about that so I says yes to people that are good not great. I guess I need a point or a question to my post. So here are a few, honestly I just want feedback from others in the Lifestyle. Needing to feel "normal" 1.) If I'm having these feelings am I just not "cut out" for the lifestyle? 2.) How much time does the Lifestyle consume of your everyday life? 3.) How often do you tell your partner no when it comes to other couples? I appreciate any and all feedback.

Hello everyone, Firstly, I wanted to introduce myself. Husband here, 46 of Middle Eastern background married to a beautiful white woman of 37 years of age. I am 5.10 and weigh 210 lbs. I am considered muscular with short hair and an enthusiastically friendly, extroverted personality. She is a shy, introvert who takes her time to open up. She is 5.2, full figured and buxom with large breasts that always get attention. Yet no one has seen them in their majestic glory, except for one man. We have a passionate, romantic relationship and damn I love her. She told me she was a suppressing, bi-sexual woman who often finds herself being attracted to women. In public, I noticed that sometimes it was not unusual for certain women to notice her too. She confessed her attraction to women and told me that she has those feelings in her. I did not mind since a lot of women have bi-sexual thoughts. After sometime she asked if I would be ok if she is with a woman as well. We spoke about it. I did not want her to suppress her sexuality as it can lead to depression and frustration. She said that if I put enough trust in her then she is open to the idea of us having a threesome or a foursome. We discussed, swinging. To be honest, I never met anyone who was into this lifestyle so I thought this would be a good place to have this discussion going. I am starting to think seriously about it and I feel that the best way to start would be to find a couple that understands that we are both new to this. If we could start by same room sex and the ladies trying out each other then that would allow us to make friends and also enter into this in ways where no one is feeling that their limits are being crossed. I do not have any problems with another woman pleasuring my wife in front of me. I would also be extremely aroused to see that women being loved by her lover while I love my wife. A full swap? I guess it would depend on how the first date went. We live in the DC/VA area and wanted to know what would be the best way to proceed and make friends. Choc and Van

Reality TV (like Neighbors with Benefits) is about drama, not truth. That it made a lifestyle that goes against the norm look like it was a bad thing was only a plus to the makers. While we also don't want to be in it (especially since just about everything else that has featured swinging has ended in a train wreck), we do think that you should be able to find other 'normal' couples in the Bay Area who can show that it isn't something that people do at the end of a failing relationship to finally bring that relationship to a crashing end. We do wish you luck with your film and be sure to let us know where we can find it once it is done.

Correct. I have a Juris Doctor degree, 37 year legal career.

Everybody is different, everybody life and circumstances are different, I am 38 years old, we have no children or big commitments, also I have always had a high libido (for a woman), so sex is a fundamental part of my life. 1.) If I'm having these feelings am I just not "cut out" for the lifestyle? Absolutely, you do not need a full commitment to the lifestyle, I know people that rarely plays but still have tons of fun when they do. 2.) How much time does the Lifestyle consume of your everyday life? mmm, well tricky question because I do several things that can be considered as part of the lifestyle but at the same time they are not, like going to the gym, do my nails and hair, depilation, buying sexy lingerie/clothes. Other things that are clearly part of the lifestyle like chatting/flirting online, reading messages, participating in discussions, getting ready for a date/party and of course the playtime itself. 3.) How often do you tell your partner no when it comes to other couples? Not very often, but certainly I have said "nop, thanks" on more than one occasion, my husband pick couples from the websites and I do filter them, same in the club, he gives me options of couples/ladies he finds attractive and I do choose from there.

Our original conversation started with what it would be like to be with another woman which led to which one of my friends would I think would be a good third. We thought it would be almost impossible for two women with no experience to ever build up the courage to act out a new sexual experience. Yes, too many things could go wrong with a friend. We decided to find a couple online, if things went bad there was nothing lost. It ended up it was a great decision. Our next step was for me to let our secret out to the friend I thought would be the one I would enjoy being with. She was very interested in what I told her but I told her I was not going to be her first. I told her about our first couple and suggested to test the waters with them.

GOLDCOCOUPLE< Yep.

The other question: If she did not know you were on board , she at least saw herself as cheating with your husband. If that is the case she is not a friend or even a trustworthy acquaintance. If it is known he does these photo shoots, and that was all it was then let it be, maybe tell her you wish she had said something. If your husband did not keep you in the loop he needs to sharpen his communication skills. He did at least ask initially and proceeded with approval. To determine what is salvageable I think an full blown honesty session , face to face between the three of you is called for. Risky? Yes. If handled correctly and you all can act as adults it could bring you all closer together. I could also nuke the whole deal.

Second njbm's comment. Most friends are now ready and/or wired for swinging and eventually this trips them up. They aren't ready for the emotions that are involved. Also, if (when) things so sideways, not only will you loose a friend, EVERYONE is going to know what you do in your bedroom...friends, relatives, co-workers. Are you ready for that? If you want to swing, find someone that is experienced with swinging (finding a single man to swing with is like finding a cheese burger at McD's). Also, someone that is already a swinger probably doesn't know your friends and relatives.

https://www.skyhinews.com/news/coroner-state-included-a-murder-suicide-in-grands-covid-deaths/ Go here and scroll down to 5th Peer Reviewed manuscript. Read it for logic and background on how statistics are being changed and manipulated. https://www.energetichealthinstitute.org/covid-19-updates/ John Hopkins DR, was recently quoted saying that everyone has it wrong. Natural immunity is 27 times more robust than vaccines AND that natural immunity holds up better to variants of the disease than vaccines. He claims 15 other studies support that assertion. NIH agrees: https://www.nih.gov/news-events/nih-research-matters/lasting-immunity-found-after-recovery-covid-19 STOP watching news. It's all biased whether it's FOX or MSNBC. If you watch both on a given issue, you'll find they basically say the same thing, just with a different conclusion based on their overall audience. So just STOP and use the wonderful internet to source and verify things. NC_Seniors: It's not anyone's job to provide sources. Do the work. Finally: The Vaccine was and is not expected to stop the transmission of the virus. It NEVER was. Those promoting it wanted us all the believe that so they could sell MORE vaccines. Studies now show that vaccinated individuals have higher viral load of the delta and are actually 'super spreaders' (my words) when compared to non-vaccinated. Also, vaccinated tend to have less symptoms while having a higher viral load so will go unnoticed more so than unvacinated. What we are seeing is that vaccinated people have less serious symptoms, that's it. And I suppose that is sorta true. BUT, people under the age of 40 never really had any serious symptoms. Look at the death rates by age and you'll see that no one under the age of 40 needs a vaccine. So, how does a pharmaceutical company sell more? They tell us all that un-vaccinated people of all ages are a threat to everyone. Oh, no you say, pharmaceutical companies are wonderful organizations that save lives with their scientific advancements. BS. They sell drugs by convincing humans that the human body is weak and needs their stuff to be protected from whatever is out there. Did you also know that pharmaceutical drugs are the 3rd or 4th leading cause of death in America WHEN PROPERLY PRESCRIBED AND PROPERLY TAKEN. https://ethics.harvard.edu/blog/new-prescription-drugs-major-health-risk-few-offsetting-advantages https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/25355584/ Let me ask everyone one question. Are people truly healthy in America that are taking drugs to combat disease or are they simply not dead? Being on a blood thinner or cholesterol lowing drug for years isn't health, it just not death. Health is not needing the drug. I believe in the bodies innate ability to be healthy. I do not use western medicine to keep me alive and fight 'chronic' disease and have no need for vaccines. I will not pay more for the shitty healthcare I don't use now, 59, no health problems, haven't used insurance for anything since I was in my 20's and cut myself remodeling a home, and yet I now pay $800+ a month x 2 for a very basic plan because of everyone that practice poor dietary choices, don't exercise, drinks etc etc.

We are experienced swingers. It is a much better idea to play with people you meet on online swinger sites, at swinger parties or meet and greets or on swinger resort vacations rather than with your friends. If the swinging encounter goes south, you don’t lose your friend(s).

Some years ago we were sharing a hotel with the other two couples we knew, and were hanging out in the hottub for a while. We went our ways, Mrs. E went back to wash up, and I stayed in the tub for a while talking to one of the couples. When I went back in to rinse off, Mrs. E had gotten out of the shower and was on her knees titfucking the other husband on the edge of the bed while he and the wife made out. By the time I got out of the shower they'd moved on to other activities and I joined the other wife on the bed.

it could have been just a passing moment. It sounds like you weren't feeling well and, and went home early to find your hubby feeling more than just OK. I think you "caught" them when you were in a blah mindset, and so it was the combination of you feeling crappy, and him feeling not so crappy in the moment that caused a little twinge of jealousy. I wouldn't be too worried.

So true, but then when those are done, I am ready and want it badly. If hubby or Red (or Lora or Clair) wants to use my body, I almost always give in. It ends with me being glad that I did even if it started, "Oh alright, make it quick."

Not at all babe, as a woman and a mother of two daughters, i know exactly how hard it is to shut off your brain, my to-do list is about 4 months long. So it is easy to not be in "the mood". There is this idea that woman in the lifestyle are just cock hungry sluts that are just looking for their next fix. It is a myth, I am a mom first, a wife second, a daughter third, a photographer fourth, then I am also a swinger. I have priorities above sex. But I do try to schedule time for sex so my husband doesn't get too frustrated with my lizard brain. I also am picky, I need there to be a bit of seduction, show me you want me, make me want you. If he doesn't turn me on I'm not going down or getting on. One thing we do is seperate play, which helps me cause the time I often am down to play is right after work, my brain is burnt and I would love an hour of brain break but my husband is still working. So we have really close friends that followed us into the lifestyle, and Adam is totally available when I get out of work, so I let him bang it out, grab a shower and I am feeling good the rest of the night. My husband is a morning sex guy but I get up at 4 every morning and am gone when he wakes so he often fucks Adams wife Julie in the morning. We don't spend time looking for other couples, we have three couples we like a lot, so of we play its usually with one of them, the couple that is our best friends get the most action. I believe in organic growth, for instance, I travel for work, so when I travel I will hit a hotel bar, if I get hit on and am into him, or her, I'll play, but I don't scour sites. I do have a bumble profile I sometimes swipe right on, but I spend little time on there. If we were to look for someone new, it would be me doing the looking because I need more than a physical thing. In the past when he would look I shot down a lot of couples, but always said he could play with them if he wanted.

Reading through some old posts on here as we haven’t been here in a while . It occurs to me just what a valuable asset this site is . So much good sound advice here from friendly , non judgmental people . Especially touching seeing the late Padoc chining in with sound advice as was the norm

We just constantly talk. Admittedly, we both have a lot of sexual energy and probably act on it more than most couples but we also entertain each other’s need to chill when needed. We don’t play seperately - it’s always us together. We also mix it up quite a bit and actually spend less time with couples and more in mmf or ffm situations. We have several friend that play seperately so it works out. You will find the right balance through communication.

If you are having trouble communicating, you both need to take a break. Work on your relationship until the love, trust and communication is rock solid and golden. It is the ONLY way to be successful in the L/S. Bring hubby here and ask him to read this thread, that should start the communication. More than likely he just doesn't realize you are feeling like you are. You shouldn't need a counselor to start the talking (even though men just LOVE it when they are told they need to see a marriage counselor...). You aren't that far off track, you just need to open the lines again, but if you feel you really need a counselor, we can charge by the hour (but we don't accept any insurance plans).

You seem to be okay with the L/S, just not so much of the L/S...understandable with kids at home and the rest of life going on. I think that it's that your husband is just wanting it SO MUCH. Too much of anything is usually a bad thing. A couple should move at the pace the slowest member is comfortable with, your husband needs to be told this and he needs to pump the brakes (the other option is eventually you just say 'stop, no more' and it's all finished). He needs to respect your feelings on this. You two are a team, what either one of you says is the answer for both of you. This goes for another one of your questions as well... We believe that 'life must come first' and that swinging is more of a hobby that we fit in when we can. For us that's about once a month. You two are a team, the two of you should decide together how often you want to play, but go at the slowest persons pace. We say 'I don't think so' to each other when we don't think there's a match (which is fairly often since we are looking for matches and not just someone to fuck). If either one of us isn't 'feeling' another couple, then we take a pass...no 'taking one for the team'. He needs to slow down and listen to your wants and needs here. As previously stated, if he doesn't, eventually you are not going to want to do this any longer. He needs to understand: Playing less often is much better than not playing at all. Bigger question is why he isn't as interested in communicating and (more importantly) LISTENING to your wants. Time to sit down and have a talk before you get so frustrated that you throw in the towel. Good luck and let us know how things go.

Your misgivings are quite common with new swinging couples. The guy is often times like a kid turned loose in a candy store, all those boobs and pussies are like a sugar high for a 6 year old. You DO have a say in this, however. You're part of the couple and the fact is, he'll get a lot less sex if you're not 100% into the evening or the meeting. Mrs Doc felt much the same way when we were about a year into this hobby. She was not happy about some of the choices I made off the web sites and was not happy about the frequency of our "dates" especially since she did not want to meet couples during the week. After a lot of trial and error, and her specific objections, my selection process got much better and after much conversation, we started to limit our swinging activities to once or twice a month. What I discovered was that, as time passed, she was much more into our limited activities and actually looked forward to a club night or house party and I started to see much less of "the face" when I mentioned potential plans for the weekend. We're happily still in this hobby 15 years later and my wife is truly "all in" now. You have to talk a lot, and, you have to insist that he take your needs and desires into consideration and you have to remind him that the primary relationship is the one he has with you, not the fleeting moments with a strange woman. You might want to point out too that if you get overwhelmed by the budding resentment this is generating, you can always just say "NO". That leaves him with nothing to swap and he becomes just another guy trying to get laid outside his marriage. That's not a good place to be for a swinger.