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Every person and couple posting on this board has had a "first time" for one or more activities, the most obvious being posting anything at a lifestyle site. The first trip to a nude beach or resort is usually memorable for the "aha!" moment. Precisely as others have written, you arrive at your destination (ours was Club Orient almost a quarter-century ago) reminding yourself why you went in the first place. Perhaps you (like us) choose (chose) a "clothing-optional" destination because you "wanted that option". You go to the beach or pool or whatever. There are several dozen, or a few hundred, or a few thousand (Cap d'Agde) naked people who are utterly relaxed and pay you no mind. They are chatting, laughing, sunning, swimming, having a drink or a snack, and so on. Someone might come over to you and strike up a conversation. They actually look you in the eyes when speaking with you. Perhaps you suddenly feel awkward because you are the only ones who are wearing textiles. Then it dawns on you. The only person uncomfortable with the situation is you. They are perfectly happy to accept you as you are, textiles or not. Unlike the vanilla world where clothes signify some sort of rank, or are used as "look at me!", or used to "camouflage" one's "imperfections", they have simply left all of that at the gate, or at least in their rooms. You look around and realize that they are comfortable in their own skins. And they seem to be nice, gregarious folks. Just like you. And you realize that the textiles that you were fretting about are utterly irrelevant. They have parts that don't quite match, scars, imperfect skin, sags, and lines. No one is wearing makeup--just smiles. You shrug your shoulders, think "when in Rome", and go bare. Within a few minutes, it all feels natural. Which it is. Fair warning here. What happens next is predictable. You will wonder why you waited so long. And you will start thinking about textiled versus nude destinations. And the idea of putting on some "suit" to bathe, sun, and relax seems quaint. Welcome to the club.

You make an excellent point. What I find unconscionable is that neither the CDC, NIH, or FDA, has ever said one word about the importance of overall health and the role it plays in the fight against COVID-19. Not one word has been said about the importance of regular exercise, losing weight, eating healthy, getting a healthy amount of sunshine, and so on. The CDC knows, for instance, the people who succumb to COVID-19 are typically obese, elderly, live sedentary lifestyles, are lacking vitamin D, and have one or more co-morbidities (i.e., diabetes, heart disease, etc.) One cannot change one's age. But, the rest of it is largely in control of the patient. The vaccine is just ONE arrow in the quiver.

Hello - I'm a professional photographer and filmmaker. I have very little experience with swinging, but I can certainly weigh in on this. If you are going to go for an onlyfans account, the competition out there is pretty extreme. Everyone and their grandmother is starting one. The first thing you need to do is up your production game. Personally, I like the more "homemade" type videos, so you have that going for you, however, the shaking, odd camera angles and constant movement that I saw in your videos tend to be very distracting. Buy a tripod. Your phone has plenty of video power, so the quality of files is there, but a tripod will help to stabilize your images. They can be very affordable. Check out this one: https://joby.com/us-en/griptight-one-gp-stand-jb01491-0ww/?gclid=CjwKCAjw2bmLBhBREiwAZ6ugowr0dJreCeq_N3hqj6Evn6UWn1hesZFa5rUQQfTOi8U3KfhkOe_84xoCJ0kQAvD_BwE Also, a little lighting would help. Since the whole world went on to Zoom over the past year, almost everyone is familiar with ring lights. They've been used for a long time in fashion photography, and give a nice light without a harsh shadow. There are a zillion different types available, this is a quality one that I saw this morning: https://joby.com/us-en/griptight-one-gp-stand-jb01491-0ww/?gclid=CjwKCAjw2bmLBhBREiwAZ6ugowr0dJreCeq_N3hqj6Evn6UWn1hesZFa5rUQQfTOi8U3KfhkOe_84xoCJ0kQAvD_BwE Your best video is the last one in the sharing is caring album - crofinish. Shot with daylight, and a great camera angle. The ring light on camera left would have gone a long way to making this video really stunning. If you're able, try multiple camera angles. Get a 2nd iphone for a close up. i.e. - the cronfinish video. A close up of the final shot would be a wow-er! You are an extremely attractive couple, and I doubt you'll have any problems finding viewers and subscribers. But if you give your videos that extra production quality, you'll really knock their socks off. I'm happy to talk more about it if you have any questions or need help, but I'm sure you'll figure it out. Best of luck!

Of course, a nude destination is not (necessarily) a swinger destination, although most nude destinations do have at least a moderate swinger contingent. Regardless of whether your swinger destination is an established resort, a cruise, or some other facility "takeover", there will also be "aha" moments to replace the same types of apprehensions that you had going to the nude destination the first time. People--and it's essentially always couples--who are going to the swinger destination are going primarily to be around like-minded people. It's the same as for any other affinity group. The book club gets together because they like to read, the garden club gets together because they like to garden, and so on. But they don't spend their time together reading in silence or in the garden. They get together because they like each other's company outside of the shared activity. Those who are waiting in the check-in line at the resort, or getting ready to board the cruise are people just like you--looking forward to the shared experiences. Swinger destinations stay in business because people like the environment. The transaction is essentially the following: you want to suspend some of the restrictions of the vanilla world, and in order to do so you (and everyone else) agree to a different set of restrictions. In particular, you agree to respect others' confidences ("What happens on the boat stays on the boat" etc) and you agree to respect others' boundaries. Regarding the latter, "no means no", and in fact anything other than "yes" means "no". These two principles--confidentiality and autonomy--can only be relaxed by you. Once you realize that you are--truly--in absolute control of what you do, and others are in absolute control of what they do, and that no one is advantaged or disadvantaged in this regard, you are free to be yourselves. Assume nothing, be candid about interests, ask permission, and above all realize that "no" is intrinsically a rejection but never a value judgement. Here, then, are the "aha's!" 1. Swinger destinations have their own social norms. They are fairly simple and mostly echo the vanilla world, with a few specific exceptions. 2. Basic social skills --respect, attentiveness, curiosity, compliments--continue to be effective. 3. Self-control matters more. Abrasive, abusive, confrontational, and especially intoxicated behaviors are not well received. Swinger destinations are not "frat parties". 4. Because swingers voluntarily agree to enter destinations, and rarely are these inexpensive, they nearly always respect the norms and the rules; equally, they will rapidly eject those who cannot or will not follow the norms. There is zero tolerance for violating "no means no", which makes everyone feel paradoxically safer than if they were at a vanilla destination. 5. You will have opportunities for intimacy--with your partner and with others. The decisions really are yours to make, and no one other than yourself and your partner is going to judge you. You will learn about others at the swinger destination. But you'll learn a lot more about yourselves. 6. This should not be an "aha", but so often it is the greatest aha--swingers seem much more likely to be gracious, respectful, and sociable than the average vanilla couple. They do not get to the point of going to a swinger destination without communicating with each other and looking forward to the experience. As a consequence, there is a very high level of "repeat business" at swinger destinations, and it's by no means uncommon for durable friendships to evolve. Once again, fair warning. You will find destinations you like, people you like, and you will find yourself wondering whether you can schedule your next travel time to match.

If you think you might want to go, then you HAVE to go. Everything is up to the two of you, nobody will try and make you do anything you don't want to do. We were both new swingers when we went the first time, but were concerned at the wickedness that we imagined went on there. Once we got there, it wasn't wicked, it was heaven. Of course, you need to have your limits and boundaries discussed before you arrive, but I promise you that you will be leaving before you are ready to go home. We did the couples massage (non-sexual one) and met lots of people but we only 'experienced' one other couple and that's what we wanted to do. Everyone usually (we've never had a problem, but there is always a chance that you might run across the exception) asks permission before they do or touch anything. Nothing is assumed or expected since some of the people who go there are just nudists and some are not a nudist or a swinger. Swingers, however, really are the nicest people (probably because they are trying to get you into their bed...lol). Our first visit to a nudist resort, we were being given the tour that all nubies get and they explained that we didn't have to be nude, but usually you will feel out of place with everyone else nude. They were right and we were nude within the hour (it's funny how when everyone else is naked, you can feel self-conscious wearing anything). You don't HAVE to be nude at Desire, but it was fun (for us) to watch the couples that came to the beach and pool with bathing suits on...first day, fully clothed. Usually by the afternoon the women would take their tops off, at least for a little while. Second day, no tops. Third day (at the latest), they were usually nude. The late night pizza is amazing! You must have some at least once for your trip to be complete. The people you will meet are pretty amazing as well. One word of warning, the rooftop hot tub (Desire RM) should come with a warning sign as you will see and experience things there...just be ready for anything if you go. Every time we have gone, we always have to leave before we are ready to go home and immediately look forward to going back.

We did go to a nude beach a couple years ago when we were in Spain and it seemed pretty relaxed and normal. We didn’t take our bottoms off. However, free relaxed vibe was quite appealing. We had a lot of hang ups, so it was a good glimpse to see the culture and how beautifully comfortable everyone was with their bodies. And we didn’t notice any creepers leering. It was a good first experience. Thanks for the reply NJBM

We went to Desire RM before we had any swinging experience. We really had no idea what swinging was about, but we were ready to try. If you just want to have an experience where you do not swing, but observe and learn, that is a good place for it. Note that the preferred dress code at the pool (5 years ago) was naked. Are you comfortable as a nudist? It’s not required, but it was common. We did have our first swinging experience there. If you search my recent posts, it was a funny story. Don’t want to bore everyone again. Also, at the bar at 3am, they serve personal pizzas and BLTs. I told my wife that may be better than sex.

Thank you all so much for your advice. Il certainly keep it all in mind if we make it out again. We've been out 6 times and only one of them I felt like i was fitting in. Still as It was mentioned at least I'm present and having fun.

Lol... The facts? The FDA's top two scientists--the very people in charge of approving or disapproving the vaccine and its uses--grew so disgusted over the politicization of the FDA's approval process they resigned in protest. https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/two-top-vaccine-officials-resign-from-fda-amid-political-pressure-from-biden-administration/ar-AANX9jN Gee. It seems the FDA's two top scientists believe that science should guide the FDA's decisions, not political calculations from the White House, or subjective opinions from unelected, unaccountable bureaucrats from outside government agencies. The resignation of the FDA's two top scientists is enough to concern anyone who possesses a shred of objectivity and independent thought. And to suggest no legitimate controversy exists regarding the vaccine requires the willful denial of reality.

Watermelon Jolly, I am sorry for “hijacking” the thread you’ve started, but I believe the advices here are of great value for noobs… GoldCoCouple, your advices just come to show the value of Internet when serious topics are discussed in serious manner 😊. As of ”…not too excited to discuss…” I worded this incorrectly for this particular case. For 36 years together I’ve learned that when comes to ANY discussion about her personal feelings she “pleads the fifth.” She is naturally introvert and rare she opens up about internal struggles. I don’t think this case is any different. For example, few months ago the threesome we had long time ago was brought by me and when I asked “how come we never discussed what happened back then”, she (being tipsy), said “Well, If I have said I did not like it, would be a lie, had I said I liked it, you might though I am turning a lesbian and so, I elected not to say anything…” I have been cruising this forum for a long time and discovered dynamics in the relationships I’ve never thought might exist. I think every member (part of a couple) have personal and shared motives to enter the lifestyle and I am no different. We are both on HRT – I am prostate cancer survivor, she had radical hysterectomy, thus both of us are unable to produce natural sex hormones and elected to undergo Hormonal Replacement Therapy with excellent result. While she “looks and feels” like 20 years old, I am not so, but me been (almost) 60 and in excellent visual shape (6 pack and all), erections are not near as good or prolonged as used to be. I am mentioning my age to emphasize on the fact that lately I am looking on the life (or what’s left of it) a little more on the philosophical side that material and so, while not depressed at all, I feel that the no one deserves to go through what I went through in sense of questioning my place as physical partner and I openly communicated those feelings with her. My point is that just because “the thing happened to me” should not be a reason for her to be deprived from the joy of a good multi-orgasmic sexual act. As for the upcoming visit to Trapeze – fun fact: I told her that I leave the “GO-NO GO” decision to her and if there is even 1% chance she would agree because “You want to” i.e. take one for the team, lets be NO GO and that’s it! Well, she bought a little red dress and surprised me last night 😊. I have no reason to doubt her decision. From this prospective I think (but might be wrong), “let see where this might take us” is a natural progression to where we started just after Christmas, when I first brought the topic of swinging, when she said “Don’t you think we are a little old for something like that? If it was 20 years ago…” Again, input of seasoned swingers will be highly valued because I naturally question myself if I am jeopardizing otherwise perfect relationships. Y’all know your reached harmony when start finishing each other’s sentences and not ask her if the color of your shirt matches her outfit 😊

The few times I went to a swingers club alone, I realized very quickly that if I followed my usual habits I would have a great time people-watching but I wouldn't interact with anyone and I certainly wouldn't hook up with anyone. I had to step very much out of my comfort zone (in a good way) and actually go be social with people. While that doesn't sound like Newfoundintrest's problem (you say you're not shy and socialize with people) the truth is, women just aren't going to throw themselves at you. It really isn't the dynamic most of the time. As others have said, women have the power here. If you meet a woman you are interested in, you need to approach her. You also need to accept that you are probably one of many guys who has approached her that night and she will probably say no. Something else I learned quickly was how to deal with being turned down, sometimes not so politely, and keep having a good night... and that's the the key, I think: to have fun anyway.

If women are in demand, and have the power, which I suspect is true, then men need to be on the prowl, the aggressors (not in a bad way). Someone is getting the attention of your wife, you need to get the attention of someone else's. Really tough for guy like me that are more shy and reserved. But I wouldn't blame the situation, but rather myself.

Thank you for your reply. At this stage, we have not defined “preferences”, but rather “let see where this might take us” … We married at early age – I was 24, she 17 and around fifth year of marriage had an accidental threesome with female friend of hers from college. It was not planned, just happened and was mixed bag of feelings – guilt, shame, excitement, the “now what” question etc. Now I realize what a major mistake we made not communicating, we just kept pretending that nothing happened. Few months ago, when I’ve discovered this web site, I started looking at this past experience from different perspective and brought the topic more than once. I cannot say that she was overly exited to discuss, but said she is open to “explore”, and this is where we are now.

We are very experienced swingers. First, the four way match is elusive. It is hard to get all four members of two couples to be satisfied with the match ups. That said, most of our early experiences were couple swaps. If that appeals to both of you, go on couples only night. Some couples prefer threesomes with the couple having a male or female third. The males are much more available than single females. If that is your preference, go on a night where they allow single males.

I would think having a conversation with “Mike” about the potential situation behind your husband’s back would be anything but productive.

You had to prove you were vaccinated before you went to public school, if you did. No one checks because getting certain vaccines is universal. That’s why no one is walking around with polio or smallpox. I honestly do not understand the hostility to a vaccine. To me, it is a miracle that it was discovered.

We were on a vacation at Club Orient, a nudist resort. We met a contingent from a southwestern state who invited us to lunch and explained that they were swingers. We knew nothing about it. One of the couples asked if we wanted to go to their cabin to see their art etchings. We knew it was a seduction move, but we went anyway. We were married for five years at that point, were about 32 years old and frankly it was too much for us. We chatted at their cabin, but chickened out of playing. We weren’t ready. But this incident sparked our curiosity. We went to a local club, Desire, Trapeze, hotel parties, cruises over the years and we became very experienced. The good experiences were fun, the bad ones became funny and we’ve met some great people. I think that there is a different level of communication with people after you’ve been intimate with them. Looking forward to the end of the pandemic!