If you think you might want to go, then you HAVE to go. Everything is up to the two of you, nobody will try and make you do anything you don't want to do. We were both new swingers when we went the first time, but were concerned at the wickedness that we imagined went on there. Once we got there, it wasn't wicked, it was heaven. Of course, you need to have your limits and boundaries discussed before you arrive, but I promise you that you will be leaving before you are ready to go home. We did the couples massage (non-sexual one) and met lots of people but we only 'experienced' one other couple and that's what we wanted to do. Everyone usually (we've never had a problem, but there is always a chance that you might run across the exception) asks permission before they do or touch anything. Nothing is assumed or expected since some of the people who go there are just nudists and some are not a nudist or a swinger. Swingers, however, really are the nicest people (probably because they are trying to get you into their bed...lol).
Our first visit to a nudist resort, we were being given the tour that all nubies get and they explained that we didn't have to be nude, but usually you will feel out of place with everyone else nude. They were right and we were nude within the hour (it's funny how when everyone else is naked, you can feel self-conscious wearing anything). You don't HAVE to be nude at Desire, but it was fun (for us) to watch the couples that came to the beach and pool with bathing suits on...first day, fully clothed. Usually by the afternoon the women would take their tops off, at least for a little while. Second day, no tops. Third day (at the latest), they were usually nude.
The late night pizza is amazing! You must have some at least once for your trip to be complete. The people you will meet are pretty amazing as well. One word of warning, the rooftop hot tub (Desire RM) should come with a warning sign as you will see and experience things there...just be ready for anything if you go.
Every time we have gone, we always have to leave before we are ready to go home and immediately look forward to going back.