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"Hey" is an utterance that simply seeks one's attention. It's an alert more than a coherent thought. There is are times, places, and contexts for such alerts--for example, if one perceived a threat (hey means "watch out"), etc. When used as an introduction (this is what the OP queries), it is the equivalent of using "Pass" as the first move in Words With Friends. That is, it wants the receiver of the alert to "make the first move". Responding "hey yourself", "hi there", "Good morning." or similar phrase simply says "Pass. If you have something to say, do so." In our experience, this rarely is a useful exchange. (An exception might be announcing one's presence in a group chat. ) We prefer a bid for conversation, for example "Good morning. We noticed your profile and were curious about your experiences on lifestyle river cruises. We are scheduled on our first cruise and wondered about...whatever...." Such a bid tells us that the correspondent(s) (a) read at least part of our profile and (b) have a purpose in contacting us.

Hello everyone! So a few weeks ago I came out to my wife as bi. She took it great it turned her on. Now we are looking to do a bi 3way. We looked on Grindr and all the guys are just creepy. My question is where is the best place to find a partner for us? Thank you in advance.

Ok so update. We were on Aff for a few months. The wife talked to a few men. The ones that met our needs were flakes or didn't show or just lied. But we finally found a single male, lives with in 30 min from us. The wife and him talked for a few weeks, I was kept in the loop of all the conversations. We finally decided to meet and this is how it went. We got to his apparentment, he welcomed us with open arms. The wife and I sat on the couch together as he sat across on a recliner. We just chatted for a short period of time had a drink and I could see he was interested in my wife. Thank God he broke the ice. He politely asked if she felt comfortable if could sit beside her. He praised her on how he outfit. She was wearing a black skirt, black sheer top and black thigh highs. He began to caress her leg with one hand. I asked him if her legs were soft and he replied yes. We were both touching and kissing my wife on the neck, breast etc...and he kindly asked my wife if he could kiss her. She replied yes. I couldn't believe this was happening. With one hand on the back of her head he pulled her forward and they locked lips. My eyes could not unfocus from both their lips and tongs meshing together. I felt slightly taken back but was very turned on. All three of us played on the couch for a few minutes and as things got hotter i asked him to stay seated and asker her to stand. With her standing in front of him I slowly removed her skirt, it slowly fell to her feet, I then removed her panties and top. We eventually made our way to the bedroom were she dropped to her knees and began to sucked his well endowed penis. We ended up on the bed were he slicked her pussy as i was playing with her upper extremities, she was a little disappointed with the performance pussy linking. He asked if he could have sex with her and we both looked at each other and said we were comfortable . He was a gentleman and put on a condom. They began to have sex. He took her in six different position and each time she moaned and screamed. This went on for 45 minutes pounding her. I was pleased as i couldn't put on a performance as such. Once he finished up i then took my wife. It took me a few minutes to get ride of the stage frieght but eventually i was able to get fully errect and cum. We all cleaned up and sat in the living room and chatted for a few more minutes and eventually said our good night. He shook my hand and she gave him a soft kiss on the lips. Today after many hot discussions with my wife we will continue to see him. Thats my eventful night.

If they have nothing more interesting to say other than 'hey', then answering them would be a waste of both of our time.

I wish more men would come out to their wives. When I told my wife that I enjoyed penises, she was shocked and wanted to know if I had a man on the side. I told her no but I wanted to share one with her. She is also bi. We had several 3soms with women and we started having them with men. We both prefer the third to be a male. We now have a bicouple who we are exclusive with. We rather new with them and the sex is great in every combination. I am so glad that I came out and so is she.

The last paragraph of our SLS Profile reads as follows: Finally ... if you contact us via SLS Messaging, at least send a few sentences to introduce yourselves and tell us why you like our Profile. We'll ignore any messages that say nothing more than "Hey!", "How y'all doin'?", or "Lookin' good!". So no … we don’t reply.

Congrats! If you're looking for open minded swinger men, I wouldn't go to a gay site. There are plenty of bisexual or curious men on SLS or any of the other sponsors here.

Same here, just gets ignored. If you don't have enough serious interest in us to take the time to write at least a few words to demonstrate that interest, then we'll pass. In our experience, those type of folks are usually just wanting a chat buddy to start with.

"Hey" gets ignored and deleted...

Mark Twain probably summed it up best: "Comparison is the death of joy." Unfortunately, the impulse to compare and contrast ourselves to others is deeply ingrained in the human psyche. And today's popular culture, with all the superficial social media sites, only serves to exacerbate this impulse. Relationship success in the lifestyle requires a high level of maturity, self-confidence and open communication. To some extent, I imagine all people involved in the lifestyle deal with some level of insecurity at some time in their lives. Open communication and reassurances within strong relationships is usually enough to overcome it without too much difficulty. But, if she's struggling with you being in the presence of another attractive woman on a simple double-date, that's a very troubling omen. You're smart to pay close attention to it.

Hi, welcome to the site! I'll second what Baconheads said, the best place to find swingers, of any persuasion, is on the swinger sites like SLS, SDC, Swingtowns. In a threesome for example, doesn't matter if bi or straight people involved, the most important thing is understanding swinging and what each's role is. Have fun!

We have and would play with newbies if they say they are ready. We were treated very nicely by some experienced swingers when we were new. Others ran for the door. Their loss! We are happy to pay it forward due to the vets who gave us a shot.

3Fun is a site that’s dedicated to couples looking for a third and singles looking for a couple. Quite a few seem to be couples with bi males. The site isn’t as big as SLS or SDC, but in my experience the proportion of "real" MF profiles (as opposed to guys who are only fanaticizing) is much higher. Feeld caters more to people looking for partners for poly relationships, but again there are fewer profiles that misrepresent the individuals. And a good number of the men are "heteroflexible" which it seems generally me and bi.

A revival of an old thread where I agreed not to play close to home. I stated back then that no matter how far you travel you risk seeing someone you know. Over the years we have kept our play very private, trying to keep our meetings to people no less than an hour from us. There was a local couple we met at a party we attended, they were as surprised as us, we agreed at the time that neither of us wanted this public. More recently we have become close with a couple who are friends of a couple we met. The wife goes to my gym and we became very good friends. They have not only become close they are now our primary play partners.

Thanks so much for your help. After her reaction, I personally do not think she is ready.

Agreed on what many of you have stated already in that we all feel part of something larger, the LS "community" if you will. We also feel a debt to those couples who have helped guide us on this journey, and those who have been so generous with their knowledge and experience. We are happy to share what we have learned with newbies, in, and out of , the bedroom, albeit with an eye towards the avoidance of "trouble waiting to happen" sort of situations.

A good amount of the people we have been with in the past were newbies like we all are at one point! Although we would be with newbies again it would only be with ones who were very sure about what they want and have very few rules for each other like ourselves. No more not so sure people. We don’t like to have to figure it out for them during fun time, because it ruins our fun time. At this point we do prefer people that have already had some experience.

We all had a first time, all a newbie at one time. We searched out a couple for our first time. That couple in retrospect was not an ideal one to have our first experience with. It wasn’t horrible, it wasn’t ideal. Alan and I talked about how many others would have run away and never tried again. We agreed that we would never act like the idiot we started with. Being a first for a couple starting out should be a positive memory and we searched out couples looking to experiment. We make a concerted effort to make their first everything they hoped it to be. From a selfish side, we enjoy being a first. Their nervousness is our excitement. We find couples with curious women and not that I keep a scorecard, I have enjoyed being the first woman for so many other women. Until recently we only met newbies and didn’t continue relationships for too long. We didn’t want to form friendships that could become messy. We enjoyed the newness and excitement we gained.

In general, our thinking on this is that if we do meet someone we know far from home, they're there for the same reason and probably share a similar lifestyle with us in other ways (not being lifeless local shut-ins) and that's fine. What we'd prefer to discourage are the Gladys Kravitz-types putting two and two together from seeing us out with people or coming and going from hotels, etc. We do play with a single female at our home and hers, and we do take some simple measures to make it look like a normal social call. We discussed it at length when we were propositioned, and decided that if people figure it out, the wives on the block already shoot her dirty looks anyway.

Yes we would. For us also it is a matter of repaying what we received when starting out.

I'm wary. 🤔

We were first-timers to a couple once. Not that we're quite seasoned veterans here, but as long as the chemistry is right and they seem in the right place, emotionally? Sure.

Sure. Our first couple were very experienced and we were not. They initiated us in a thoughtful, sensitive, way - checking in every step along the way. While it was not without a bump or two, overall our first time was a fantastic experience in large part because of this couple. We've replayed that evening many, many times. We would absolutely pay it forward with the right couple.

Hey everyone, I have updates! So we did go on vacation, while on vacation we started watching swinger porn, that turned into deeper talks and we have officially made a profile on a swinger site. It been very interesting and I can't wait to see where it goes!

My wife and I have discussed this and we will NOT being seeing anyone we know. This will cause too much conflict. The less the other person knows about our personal life the better.

People who ask for numbers are just seeking out ways to label a woman. If a woman has a small number she is chaste, but if she has more than ten she is a slut, whore or a hooker. Its BS. I've slept with a lot, definitely triple digits so I do not discuss it.

I do not understand the web show thing, but I do not talk about my number with anyone, cause it is ridiculous. I was an early starter, raised in a broken home environment by a mom that taught me to seek male attention, I was a hot mess in my twenties working as an exotic dancer and now I'm a pretty active hot wife so my number is literally ridiculous. When I did talk numbers it just intimidated the guys. Now I just say a lot.

I am not technologically advanced enough to understand your post.