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Showing content with the highest reputation on 11/03/2021 in all areas
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2 pointsHealth, money, age, interest, change in relationship, change in family status or living conditions.... there are as many reasons to stop swinging as there are people who swing, I expect. As with anything else, no one reason is the reason for everyone. The question is what will be the reason for you. You'll know it when you get there. You'll talk about it with your spouse and and you'll both figure out how to make the change from swingers to people with nice memories of some wild times,
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2 pointsReally?? Without so much as a heads up? (Strains of the song Lemon tree come to mind.) That seems a bit harsh to me. I can see "We have a one month limit so lets have fun now". Just ghosting can cause stress on the other couple. I can see it if there is cause, but just because of your rules doesn't strike me as one of them. I hope that I am misreading you on this it seems out of character.
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1 pointOur Rules No long term relationships No couples close to home No single play, couples only together. It has been months since I met a gym member who is friends with a couple we met who lived hours away. She searched me out and after getting to know her we agreed to be their first swinging friends. In these crazy times I became close friends with her as we have much in common, seeing her in the gym, lunches, shopping and the husbands seem to get along, easy talk and liking the same sports. Up to now we would ghost people after a month, not our new friends. We had broken two steadfast rules, getting involved with locals.
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1 pointHi out there. I’m married and in an evolving relationship. Last year I did a burlesque photo shoot for him as a gift. He loved the way it turned out but asked if I’d be willing to do something more risqué in the future. I got a reference from the original photographer (female) and told my husband the new photographer would be a male. Being the protective husband he is we both requested a meeting over a cup of coffee. We met which was great and made things all the more comfortable. I loved what I saw from his book and my husband did as well. We had the shoot and the pictures came out great. He got really turned on by knowing another guy was doing the pictures. I was shocked. I asked him if he’d consider doing a couples shoot with me and he said he’d try but was reluctant. Pretty soon after he agreed and we were off again. Prior to the shoot my husband and the photographer talked about his career. My husband, who’s faithful, shocked me a bit with his envy and open talk about what the photographer experienced. I’m extremely open and joined in the conversation. Both of us felt like we were conversing with someone we really liked and knew a lot longer than we actually did. Unfortunately my husband had difficulties getting hard which is completely out of the ordinary. The photographer said it happened a lot and just to relax. Surprisingly at my husband's request he asked for me to do a POV shoot the photographer showed us in his book. Basically it’s the photographer including himself in various ways while taking the pictures. As we started taking the pictures I liked being touched by the photographer even though it wasn’t active foreplay or sex. It really was strictly for the pictures themselves. During the pictures my husband quickly got hard and watched. Eventually the photographer asked him if he was going to get involved. The rest of the shoot went as we planned. Afterwards we all sat around and talked and went through the pictures. Some time passed again and we talked a lot about the fun we had with it. My husband admitted he liked watching the photographer touch me and if not for that he may have been to nervous to get hard. I really want this to develop further but I’m apprehensive because it’s a major change in life obviously. I’m also not sure about how I feel about seeing him with someone else. When I say I’m not sure I mean most likely not. I don’t even really think he wants to. I almost feel like if I bring that up it will be too much too fast. Multiple times when having sex we’ve dirty talked about me doing another shoot and giving myself up. I’d feel more comfortable to actually do it than talk about it. I feel like my husband has opened a door that I want to walk into. Am I reading it wrong? Is it best for me to just set something else up and let it work itself the way it will? Based on our interactions I have no doubt the photographer would be into it also. Would I be going to far given our relationship if I reached out to the him and told him how I feel, how my husband feels, and confirm he’d say yes?
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1 pointWe’ve been playing with the same couple for years. Bareback and birth control.
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1 pointI can't say I have but I can say my GF has. I wouldn't say I'm super freaky so a lot of the kinky things that she's tried have been with other men. It's not that I wouldn't necessarily have tried some of those things with her but I either didn't think of them or they are things that just didn't interest me. Our 1on1 sex life might seem rather vanilla but still passionate. When we bring other people into the mix it's a completely different vibe and has a lot more creativity and is a lot more..... perverted I guess. In the way you're describing it there are many things that she has done where she ventured into things with other guys knowingly and willingly but it's not like there was any understanding between us that she couldn't or wouldn't do or try new ventures with other men. If anything I would say it's encouraged. And it's so hot hearing those crazy kinky sex stories from her or from my buddies who were involved. I can think of a couple of extremely kinky activities that my GF had left out of her stories but I found out from friends. This doesn't happen often but it has happened. And to be honest it doesn't really bother me. She doesn't have to tell me every single activity she does if she doesn't want to.
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1 pointRules, especially in swinging, should be written in pencil and not ink for this very reason. They should be flexible and able to change as the two of you see fit.
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1 pointIt's called life...things happen. A lot of the time it's not even a conscious decision and things just stop while other things take priority. But things will continue to change and suddenly you find that you are wanting to become swingers again. Never say never to anything, because just when you do, life will change things once again...
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1 pointFor some swingers, it's just sex and the other couple doesn't matter much, to others there needs to be a bit of a connection. We are connection people too. That's what makes it harder since there's no telling if there is a connection until you actually meet and see. It can be frustrating and it can be difficult to find, and sometimes you may find that connection only to find that they didn't feel the same. Once you do find that four way connection, it is amazing and all the time, effort, and frustration will instantly be worth it.
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1 pointThank you so much for that! Originally we talked about doing the swingers resort or bar scenario and it felt more forced than just happening. No offense to those who go that route but I don’t think it’s for us, at least not now. Last night felt very natural and smooth, really like another night out except for an added bit of excitement and nervousness. Im not so sure this is the area of the site to get into details so I will spare them. Unfortunately toward the end of the night I got my period and it was bad to boot. Really disappointing but at the same time it was a great night!
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1 pointThis type of rule-making is beneficial because it sets a gold standard, but allows for some flexibility where you know what you need to discuss at length and in detail before you consider a special case and to weigh why you made those rules in the first place and whether or not it's really worth it. Like you, we also broke a few rules to entertain a local offer with someone we know personally, a newly-single workout buddy of Mrs. E's. I sought some advice from this forum and we were cautioned against some things, which was smart feedback taken into account, but all three of us still wanted to move forward with part of the plan. Since then, she's been a reasonably steady play partner for two years now.
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1 pointWe don't have many HARD rules, but this is one: the rules are the rules. Sure, they can be changed and altered, but until that time, violating the rules are a violation of trust. If something is in the grey zone, the safe way is to not go there. Trust is vital and once violated, tough to get back. We do just about everything together, so that makes it easier to stay on the 'right' side of things, but for us, the risk is not going to be worth any reward.
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1 pointGood for you! Sounds like a fortunate turn of events right there, and you may be one of the lucky few couples for which everything falls into place early on. It's an unfortunate truth that swinging, at least successful swinging, is WAY harder and more work than people think. A lot of non-swingers seem to think that al it takes is two sets of strangers getting within 10 feet of each other, the clothes automatically fall off, everyone is turned on beyond belief, and and mind-blowing sex follows. Absolutely not the case. In fact, a lot of new couples who are doing everything right with going slow, communicating, etc. etc. still end up giving up just out of frustration. But when it works right, and all of the pieces magically fall into place with the right people, then it can be awesome. It usually takes a lot of patience and perseverance to get to that point though. You've gotten lots of good advice above, and with your latest update have kind of moved past some of it already, but one thing I would give a second to is the swingers club or meet and greet. In effect, that's what you are doing, just a different route. Just being around swingers and talking to them will do a lot to help you decide where you two want to take this. Also, you can ease into things since if someone flirting or some close dancing or a little touchy-feely causes issues, then that's a strong signal to proceed with caution. Just take your time, I always say slow and steady wins the swinging race. It's when people get frustrated and make rash decisions and move too fast is usually when the race is lost. Good luck tonight! I know, it is very exciting Just focus on you and your husband having a fun night out together with some new friends with no expectations other than that and you almost can't go wrong.
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1 pointAll very interesting advice and much more in detail than I had considered. So we reached out to the photographer and met for a drink. I was more than a little taken aback by his initial response which was no. My heart sunk a little until he provided his explanation. He explained there’s a line which has been drawn by he and his wife and that anything beyond artistic application is not allowed. Interestingly though we had a long and productive conversation about the subject. The conversation led to a couple he’s also friends with and who have been swinging for several years. Although well to do professionals, they sometimes take part as help for shoots he does with other women and couples. I was a little nervous once he presented it as a possible option but liked 😍🤤 what I saw. Yesterday we ended up meeting the couple for a drink as well and it went great. They are definitely a couple we can get along with. We made it clear with each other we’d just go to get a feel for them and not get anywhere close to anything sexual which we both accomplished and failed at. We got along so well that it got very flirtatious not only because our attraction physically but also because they seem to be great people. Eventually we made out with the other’s partner and ended going home and having the best sex with each other. It may be a little quick but we’re getting together tonight and going to a small concert at a great venue together with them and one of their couple friends. Fingers crossed I’m so excited!
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1 pointPart of your talking should involve setting rules and limits, and they should always be talked about OUTSIDE of a sexual situation. Keeping in mind, once you set them, they can always be modified later. When we first started, we had a 'no kissing' rule (as lots of others have had as well). After our first experience, we quickly realized that our 'no kissing' rule (which we both felt strongly about before our first experience) was silly and we set it aside. Still, we THOUGHT it was important before we realized it wasn't.Set your rules and limits and stick to them since you can always change them later when you have a chance to talk about what happened. It takes the "I wanted to grab his crotch so bad but I backed off" out of the equation since you already know if it is okay or not.
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1 pointSeveral years ago on a trip to San Onofre state park on Trail 6, where we went a lot, we had an out of the ordinary experience. After being there about two hours and talking to and flirting with many couples and men, we were laying out sunbathing in the nude (it is a public nudist beach). Tits suddenly had to pee. Normally she would go down to the water, wade out, and pee while she sunned her tits. So when she jumped up and went to the little canyon by Trail 6 I was surprised. She said keep an eye on our stuff and disappeared around corner while all the voyeurs watched her huge tits bounce up and down. After about five minutes or so I decided to walk over but never out of sight of our spot. I walked to the little canyon and saw her holding on to wall while the guy she just been flirting with in the water was sliding his huge cock in and out with force. Tits was enjoying it, her big tits swinging back and forth. I got hard instantly. I did not want to stand there jacking off at the mouth of this canyon because there were other people in there watching them and fucking themselves. I went back to the towels and waited. After a few more minutes she came out and back to towels. I was laying on my stomach, and when she got there and laid down I asked her: Did you enjoy your “pee”? About that time, Robbie, I found out later, came out of cyn with his now soft but still long cock swinging. I told her I am glad your friend there could help you out. She started to deny it, but then stopped and said it just happened. She had to pee and he was watching and had such a big cock (10”) she could not resist. I asked her did it feel good? She said: Oh hell yessssss! Now I am about 6.5", sooo what can I say? One thing it took me awhile to get her to do is not sneak, but she said it added to the excitement. She usually told me afterwards, usually while we were fucking. But some took awhile like when her boss Rick was fucking her for a promotion and then to keep her promotion he made her fuck him after work at warehouse on Friday. She did not tell me about them until his wife caught them and she got fired. That when I found out she fucked four other bosses and my huge-cocked friend Rod. In that case I was at work. He stopped by with coffee and they ended up fucking on couch. He loved her big tits and shaved pussy. We had partied together, but I did not know she was fucking him on the side. His cock was 11” and as big around as a coke can. I loved watching them fuck while he sucked me. But back to Robbie. She introduced him to me a few weeks later and he laid out with us at the beach. He laid on her right side and I laid on her left side so she could stroke our cocks. After I came, I told him to mount her from behind, and after he got his big cock in, to pretend he was putting on sunscreen on her back and rubbing her shoulders. Tits told me later that she could not believe he fucked her on beach and nobody knew!! I had to tell her every single guy there was watching and jacking off, did not fool anyone lol. It might have been her screaming lol!
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1 pointThank you for the responses everyone! We were in the track for opening up more and more over the past while. This seemed to accelerate it a bit. I was shocked when he was ok with a male photographer and even more shocked when he watched me do the pov. It tuned me on having him watch me and watching him play with himself. The pov wasn’t anything too involved. He would use a hand or a finger or two to touch or spread. He pinched and grabbed my boobs, spread my lips apart, rubbed my asshole, and stuck his fingers in my mouth. The entire time I really wanted him to go further or have my husband encourage him to go further. Having both of them touch me indescribable. At one point I almost pushed the limits myself as I had my arm wrapped around his groin area. I wanted to grab his crotch so bad but I backed off.
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1 pointWe went to Desire RM before we had any swinging experience. We really had no idea what swinging was about, but we were ready to try. If you just want to have an experience where you do not swing, but observe and learn, that is a good place for it. Note that the preferred dress code at the pool (5 years ago) was naked. Are you comfortable as a nudist? It’s not required, but it was common. We did have our first swinging experience there. If you search my recent posts, it was a funny story. Don’t want to bore everyone again. Also, at the bar at 3am, they serve personal pizzas and BLTs. I told my wife that may be better than sex.
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1 pointShe's a keeper!
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1 pointHurry up and marry your fiancée.
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1 pointWhat methods of birth control do you use when you swing? I am rather astonished that all swingers don't use a 100 percent method of birth control. It appears to me they are the pill or surgery. All other methods have some risk for being impregnated. I am reasonably sure this is to be avoided in most cases. Only 58 percent use fool proof methods. (They do exist and are available.) This is aside from the risk of contracting a STD.
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1 pointOK, a couple of issues here... 1) Trust. Either you trust your wife, and therefore believe that she did not know if he came in her or not, or you don't. If you don't, I think you need to stop swinging until you reestablish the trust. 2) Biology... there is semen flowing from a man's erect penis long before he ejaculates. Therefore, by allowing a man to place his unprotected erect penis in your wife, you are allowing him to put his semen in her. This is a reason the "pull out" method of birth control doesn't work. Allowing a man to fuck your wife unprotected but requiring that he pull out before ejaculation is a little absurd, IMO. I think you need to serious reevaluate your rules here. If you don't want him to cum in your wife, make him wear a condom. If you don't want him to ware a condom, accept that he has cum in your wife.
