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I have male vanilla friends, guys that have been around the block a few times, not 50-year-old virgins, who have made comments about swingers/swinging that are just totally clueless. Mostly some variation on the old "swingers will fuck anything that moves" thing. They also think there is no such thing as cheating if you are a swinger, basically no rules, nothing off limits. And, if a couple are swingers, then it absolutely must be that one or the other (husband or wife) is fucking over the other, like "she's taking that poor SOB for a ride." If I engage at all, it's usually just commenting, "uhhhh, from what I've heard, I don't think it works quite like that" and just leave it at that. No amount of explanation would help, because it just Does Not Compute with them. Limited sample size, and choosing my words carefully here, but I will say that it seems the more "traditional" a person's view on gender roles in marriage and life in general, the more likely it is they just totally can't grasp swinging, or at least not swinging where both partners are both happily and enthusiastically involved. Males seem especially prone to it. Most won't admit it, but they totally like the idea of being able to have some strange every now and then, but if it means giving up some possessiveness and control, then hell no.

Appreciate all of the advice. The idea of a couple first sound good and as you mention it, there will be a ton of single guys ready and willing but not what we're looking for. We're both excited about taking this forward and i'll be looking forward to seeing my Wife being naughty with other people :)

Now I'm feeling like some crazy freak, we keep ours at like 101-102 in winter! 😂 Late spring and early fall we do drop it down to 99-100, and we just close it for the summer. We usually don't really hang out in there for a long time though. It automatically cycles off after 15 or maybe 20 minutes. Sometimes we'll restart it and stay in a few minutes more, but we are usually ready to get out after the first cycle. We've tried hot tub sex, both at home and at friends, and agree that water doesn't make the best lube, so the hot tub itself is just foreplay playground. Now mrs. cplnuswing's wet and literally steaming body bent over the hot tub after you get out, that's another thing entirely

We got a message from a guy yesterday on one of the sites we are on that said “ I could fuck it I am in town for the day”. Open his profile and there is next to nothing on it and just the usual cock pic. Normally I just ignore these kind of idiots, but instead I replied “ we will take a pass. There is nothing about your profile that is appealing and we have real lives and don’t just drop everything to hook up with random people we know nothing about”. His response was “ well this is a swingers site after all”. Which made me realize that many people seem to think that if people are swingers they will fuck anybody and everybody. This misconception is about the furthest thing from the truth for us anyways. It does help explain why so many people including some couples out there think they can put absolutely no effort into their profiles, themselves or talking to people and people will just be desperate to have sex with them. Our experience is that swingers are not just sex fiends that fuck anyone that is available. At least not the ones that we would be interested in. If anything we are even more selective, because there are so many options out there.

Seeing the missus being naughty with other people is my favourite part of the lifestyle.

✔️✔️ I've always been a rule follower I guess 😁 Very little. 10 minutes a week is about right, tops. When you are using it, just make it a habit to check the floater to see if you need some more bromine tablets, and that takes care of that. A few seconds to stick a test strip in weekly, and if needed, a minute or two to put in whatever it needs. With ours, pH is about the only thing we have to ever mess with, although everyone's water is different. Within a week of a refill, I'll have to bring the pH down. A few weeks later, maybe again. A few weeks after that, and then I usually just drain it and refill it, which is like an hour job, most of which you can be doing something else while you are waiting for it to be finished draining or filling. We bought ours used. Hot tubs are one of those things not easily taken with you to a new house, or just stored away if you are taking a break from it. So, people will just try to get what they can from them. You can find some good deals on nice ones in great shape. Ours is at very least 10 years old, since we've had it for almost that. Shortly after we got it, It had a drip drip leak when running and I replaced a pump shaft seal, part was like $10 I think and not hard if you are even somewhat handy. Or like anything, if you want to pay someone and just be done with it, it's not going to be any huge repair bill. We painted the skirting too, but that was just because we wanted a different color, took like an hour. We have a pool too, and while that's not any big deal either like some make it out to be, pool way more maintenance than a hot tub. Hot tub runs on cruise control and stays covered 99.9% of the time, so other than checking the water occasionally, not a whole lot to keep up with.

Welcome to the site! All great advice above. We can relate to a lot of what you said about distance from city, etc., so totally understand. I still wouldn't totally rule out the swingers club trip, even if it takes making it into a long weekend getaway. Beyond that, one of the big online personals sites like SLS, Swingtowns, or SDC is likely going to be part of the solution. You can set up accounts for free, so not a bad idea to try more than one just to see which one you like the best and have the most people on it from your area. Even if you don't want to go for the browsing personals looking for playmates route, those sites are great resources for finding parties and meet and greets. Also worth pointing out that you can set your location to wherever you want it to be on the sites. So if you aren't comfortable swinging anywhere closer than an hour's drive away, just set your location to wherever that is. Unless you tell them, nobody will ever know any different. Personally, we have an "at least two towns over" rule. We won't swing in our community, nor the neighboring one. Get to the third one though, which is a little over an hour away, and it's a medium-sized city. About all of our hookups have happened there. We set our location somewhere between here and there. That way we don't say exactly where we are, and we are close enough to the bigger community to pop up in people's searches for that area. Totally up to you of course, but I might think about reversing that order on getting started. I think you might find it easier with a couple at first. Single female extremely difficult at all times, single males a dime a dozen and the vast majority of them totally clueless on picking up on what their role should be in any given situation. You'll find no shortage of guys ready and willing, but one who sees himself as part of the team and not just in it for himself getting laid, that's going to be nearly as hard as finding a single female. Especially online, the odds of finding a good single male aren't that great because the good ones already have plenty of couples they are friends with, most aren't going to be needing to browse personals trying to find a new couple. Clubs and meet and greets, the odds are better. You still are going to have do plenty of filtering, but starting to make friends with some couples like say at a meet and greet may be a great networking opportunity to get introduced to some great single males. Good luck! It's exciting! I can almost guarantee it will turn out to be way more work and difficulty than you think it will, but once the patience pays off and the pieces fall into place right, it can be awesome

Welcome to the board! I would suggest a membership in one of the swingers group. Like SLS or whichever is popular in your area. You can get a free membership to see which you like. However few people will take you seriously unless you have a paid membership. Another route we highly recommend is finding a local meet and greet. Especially if you live in a small area. You will be surprised at the number of like minded people you will find. We live in a rural ultra conservative area. And parties are a closely held secret. Good luck and keep us posted ☺️.

I would suggest setting up an account on one of the swinging sites! There are links to some of them on this site. Do your best to make it interesting and include some good pictures of your bodies at the least. You can have a private folder with face pics to share with people that are of interest. I would suggest not putting in the profile that you are a cuckold if you are not interested in the humiliation part of it, because you will get a lot of creeps hitting you up. If it is more about you sharing and watching her Stag and Vixen would be more suitable. Take your time and don’t settle for anything less then what you both want.

In order to be considered a swinger, you need to have either a boat or a hot tub. Check it out, it's a rule. Depends...our hot tub is part of the pool so it goes along for the ride since we have to cycle the water for the pool. We usually only heat it up when we plan on getting in it (only takes about 30-40 minutes...less in the summer since the sun will heat the pool up to 90 at times). No matter which one you have, you do need to check the chemicals once a week and take any corrective action (if needed). It may take some time to get the routine down, but once you do it takes less than 10 minutes a week (give or take). They now make strips that you dip and they give you all of the chemical readings at once.

Not uncommon. I believe it why there are so many single men signing up to swinger sites as free members with little to no profile content; swinger=easy/guaranteed. Same reason they will over run any club that allows them unrestricted. Then charges them twice as much for even the slightest hope that they’ll get laid. There are some super cool and chill ones out there but you have to put up with a lot of frogs to find that prince.

We keep our hot tub at 95 degrees...hot enough to be comfortable but not so hot that everyone overheats.

No it is far from the first time we have received a message like this! The point I was trying to make is that the misconception that everyone on a swinger site is a slut that will fuck anything or anybody is the furthest thing from the truth, but it is clear that many people think that is the way it is.

We have a hot tub, and before we got ours, we had been with several couples who had a hot tub. No games needed, things tend to take care of themselves out there We have had hot tub sex, but most often it's sort of a warmup (no pun intended) area and then head inside when it's time to really get after it.

Different folks are going to have different opinions on these terms! I know what ours are on the following. Cheating is a betrayal of trust and done behind your partners back without any knowledge by them. For us it not cool or something either of us would tolerate. Break that trust and you will never get it back. I would be gone if it happened to me and there is no excuse that would change that. We also will not play with people we know are cheaters. Cuckolding is when your partner has sex with other people to humiliate you! Usually with someone bigger and better. The cuck gets satisfaction from being humiliated. Cheating with your partners knowledge would also fall into this category. Totally not our thing at all, but to each their own. A hotwife is a wife that has sex with other men with her partners consent and encouragement. This can be on her own or with her partner present. This is not about humiliating him. It is about her being able to enjoy her sexual appetite on her terms with who she wants. Hot wives or incredibly hot women IMO. Last I will add the Stag and Vixen couple. A Stag husband is a Alpha male who likes to share and watch his Vixen wife have sex with other men in his presence for both her pleaser and his pleasure. This is not about being incompetent or humiliated. It is about him thinking his wife is super sexy and wanting her to share that sexiness with other hot men. Like having their own private porn star. This is what we identify as ourselves.