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The guys in our three-woman, two-man poly family do it, not because they want to, but when we women demand it for our pleasure. For me, it is. I used to think of myself as having a "bi" side. Now I realize that I am bi, having a straight side and a Lesbian side. And I (and Lora, not so much Clair) have become more Lesbian than straight both sexually and emotionally since we women have had children together. I admit it and have been told that I have balls by co-workers (in non-swinging situations). 🙂 That was the beginning of my journey into having a strong Lesbian side and the first step, except hubby didn't need to "make" me. I had to persuade her to first let me watch, and then jump in. It was my reclaiming ritual.

We have a club not far from us with the chains and the wife and I went into a room put the chain up and had a nice little crowd around watching. It was very hot something we never thought we would ever do. That is one way to get people to watch you.

I think it may be difficult to find a single male who wants to watch and not touch. Would you be interested in a couple having sex next to you having sex and the two couples watch each other? I could be wrong, but that option sounds like more fun and it may be easier to find.

The bad news is that the vast majority of single men eager to join you for sexual games are going to want to do than watch you two have sex while they masturbate. The good news is that there are so many hopeful single guys on the swinger sites that you will find some who are willing to accept the restrictions you are (quite rightfully, as this is your scene) imposing. Given that there’s not going to be any touching between the two of you and the other guy, perhaps you should do this first via video. That’s bound to be easier — guys who want contact will tend to self-deselect.

You might consider joining a swinging site. Join a few for free to see which most actually in your area. I have no doubt that you can find what you are interested in. Matter of fact I would guess that your inbox will fill it pretty quickly. But no one will take you seriously unless you have a paid membership. Taking your time and choose carefully you want your 1st to be as much fun as possible. We recommend having a drink first (that way you don't get stuck when a whole dinner with someone who isn't the one). Decide if you want to play on the 1st date if you don't want to, make sure he knows that. Finally next you will have so responses to your profile that you will be weeding out the ones that you are not interested in. And you will probably have a couple of dates that the handsome guy in the pic is now 12 years older and 50 lbs heavier. Don't becoming too discouraged you may just to meet a couple of frogs before you meet your prince charming. Welcome to the board and please keep us posted!!?

Never had a real gangbang myself, but hubby likes to jump in after another man or two has had me. Participation may be the key to acceptance and enjoyment; at some point marking her as your wife.

It gets both of us hot to watch the other play with the same sex.

Welcome to the site! There is a ton of great info and a lot of great people always willing to give advice, so ask away with all of your questions Lionheart's post is right on the money and touches on things that are absolutely true. Some (most) people just aren't cut out for swinging, and absolutely nothing wrong with that. I too am a big believer in people need to do what's right for them. I think the cause for a lot of bad or failed relationships is when external influences (work, toxic friends and family, societal pressure, etc.) and/or selfishness within the relationship (cheating, dishonesty, etc.) are allowed to override that innate feeling that a couple develops of what's right for the relationship. There are those that shouldn't swing but do, those that should swing but don't, those should swing and do, and those those shouldn't swing and don't. Odds are people in those last two are having the best overall relationships since they are going with what they know is right for them. Another important thing is a word you don't see very often. "Compersion", which means taking happiness in someone else's happiness. So if you see your partner happy from enjoying a great sexual experience, no matter who it's with, that makes you happy. For most people, the negatives of even thinking about or especially seeing your partner with someone else block any compersion. They likely share their partner's happiness at other things, career achievements or whatever, but it doesn't extend to the sexual realm. With swingers, that line isn't there.

I think cuckhold is different than Bi. He is Bi for us, and we both love the MM play. He also likes to see me fuck other men. We love to share a cock. Any other man engaged in humiliation would be booted.