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You should see some of the yoga positions I try to get Michael in, it’s hilarious. I try to stay limber and do stretches and meditation that helps in our play and I do wear yoga pants to the gym and have caught guys watching me on the elliptical machine.

Be careful about Greece. Many years ago they had regulations in place that prohibited foreigners from selling and taking capital out of the country. I don't know if these are still in place, but worth checking into if you are serious about Greece.

Yep, Portugal and Greece were the two I had in mind. Spain also has a program that, I believe, starts a little higher. Semi-retiring to Crete or Andalusia isn't a bad gig if you can get it.

I have close friends who have a small consultancy with clients spread across the globe. After a comprehensive investigation they concluded the best place for them would be Portugal.

Costa Rica comes up often however it is my understanding that safety concerns are an issue there. When we were looking into this a while back the destination that looked best for us was Portugal. Have heard many good things recently. Might be worth a look.

The most important word you wrote, “discuss”. So many couples say they discussed where truthfully one partner talks and the other goes along. I like your friends without knowing them, they discussed along with you and didn’t pressure you into doing anything before all of you could be in agreement. Peer pressure, whether it’s a spouse who is more eager, or the experienced couple pushing a less than willing participant. I have learned the signals given by the unfortunate woman who is going along to satisfy a man’s fantasy. I appreciate the man who honors a woman’s hesitancy. If and when you both agree you want to take the next step your waiting will be worth it.

Every post on here leads to going forward or bad feelings and then your posts is a refreshing change, you talked it out. If swinging is for you more opportunities will be there. I had so many thoughts racing in my head before going forward, the pressure came from my wife and friends that were very accessible living not far from us. Enjoy your conversations at home, the thought of swinging seems to already started sexy talk for you.

We have received a few PMs asking how things turned out last weekend. We did visit our friends, did discuss options both privately and with our friends which led Debbie and I to decide not to join our friends as swingers. We are still leaving future options open as we figure some of the opinions other posters offered and figuring out our own feelings. Thank you to those who have replied to our first post.

We agree with Enhancer: Your communication is damaged. It sounds like you are saying how you feel...some of the times, and he is hearing what you say...some of the times, but the rest of the times it isn't working. Ms. Gold and I don't have very many surviving rules, but the few we do have are applicable here, and the rules are not just for sexual situations, but for everything: Never move faster than the slowest member is comfortable with Always ask permission (including if the other is interested or not in a couple) No means no (and this isn't just saying no to something sexual...if either of us are not 'feeling it' with another couple, we can say no and we move on to the next couple...no explanation expected or required) If one of us wants to take a break, then we both are taking a break until that person is interested in continuing again No expectations other than enjoying a night out with our partner (sex is never expected or required) Our rules are not just for swinging, but for everything. There are times when one of us may feel like the other isn't comprehending what we are saying, and it is okay...no, required for the other to say that they don't feel like they are being understood. It sounds to us that he's having fun right now and doesn't want you to rain on his parade which, in turn, is taking more of the fun away from you making you feel bad about it. He may SAY he isn't forcing you to do anything, but he IS forcing you to play along in a passive-aggressive way. You both need to take a break from swinging until you can get back on the same page. It may take a week, it may take several years (especially when you have kids involved), but it is more important that you fix the relationship before it gets too damaged. You can always return to swinging later...lots of swingers take breaks and eventually come back...and some don't but that's okay too. Swinging should ENHANCE your relationship, not become a central part of it. Sprinkles on the ice cream sundae of your love...the sprinkles are not necessary, but they make it just a bit better by being there. Take some time to reconnect before things start to really break down. Good luck and let us know how things go.

Good communication is being able to be honest and open with each other, actually hearing what each other is saying and respecting what each other is saying! It does not sound like that is what is happening here. Personally I would take a break from all the lifestyle play and expectations that are clearly coming with it until the communication part is fixed. One thing we both agree on is that anything we do that is lifestyle related comes with no expectations from each other or the people we meet! Maybe that disappoints other people, but we don’t really care. We are only in control of our own feelings and don’t owe anything to anyone else other then each other. The day that the lifestyle becomes more important to one of us then our relationship together is the day I am out.

Most problems in relationships occur due to unfulfilled expectations. When one has an expectation that ___________ (fill in the blank) is going to happen, and it doesn't, one is disappointed. Often that disappointment turns into resentment. Unresolved resentments often manifest themselves in conflict. It can be a vicious cycle that screws up the best relationships. Jumping of this theme - the way to avoid the expectation trap is to make 'agreements'. As in, I agree to have drinks with couple ABC. If at the last minute you pull the plug - you have broken an agreement - and the other party has a right to be disappointed, etc. But, if you follow thru and meet for drinks you have kept to the agreement. If the other party has other unspoken expectations about what might happen after drinks - that is on them, not you. That said, it can be incredibly frustrating when trying to make connections and the only response back is 'we'll see' or 'let's play it by ear', 'let's see how I feel saturday', etc.

What an unfortunate situation. We feel for you. Obviously, the first thing to do is to partner up with a physician familiar with STIs who can provide you proper medical resources, design an aggressive treatment regimen, and provide behavioral counseling. Some additional practical advice going forward: Always presume you are contagious and act accordingly. Asymptomatic persons with HSV2 shed cells roughly once every ten days, meaning you can infect someone regardless of how you "feel". The infection exists in the cells of the skin and the disease can spread even from healthy-appearing skin. People with frequent legions can shed HSV2 cells as often as once every three days. Do not engage in sexual activity with a partner when a legion is present. The consistent use of latex or polyurethane condoms (both male and female) are a MUST from here on out. Latex or polyurethane condoms provide a physical barrier that prevent skin-to-skin contact and are an essential part of the management of the disease. Studies show consistent use of condoms reduces the risk of STI transmission by upwards of 80%. This is true across the full spectrum of STIs, not just HSV2. Note natural membrane condoms are not effective at preventing STIs. The use of suppressive medications will reduce the risk of HSV2 transmission, but will never eliminate it. Don't place false confidence in your treatment regimen. According to the CDC, daily suppressive therapy will only reduce the risk of transmission by 70-80%. You should exercise special caution before engaging in sex with a woman (now called 'person with a vagina' by the ridiculously woke CDC! Lol!) of childbearing years. Although rare, HSV2 can present serious complications for a pregnant woman and her baby. Lastly, there is the ethical question: Do you continue to engage in sex with multiple partners when you knowingly have the potential to spread a chronic disease? That's something you will have to work out based upon your own ethical/moral compass. If you haven't yet reviewed the CDC's herpes resources, here's the link: https://www.cdc.gov/std/treatment-guidelines/herpes.htm Best of luck to you and your partner.

You are more than thinking if you signed up asking for advice. I asked all the same questions you are asking all the time trying to reconcile the thought of having sex with my wife’s best friend. I did that too. Heck she is good looking and I knew she wanted me, they were the swingers already just like your friends. I can tell you friends are the best way to start, they will be the least pressure and can make it fun.