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The only way you should respect her wishes is if you are okay with them! If you are not then you shouldn’t. It will only cause issues if you are not on the same page when it comes to lifestyle activity. There is no universal right or wrong way of doing things. Only what is right or wrong for the people involved.

Of course, we all love poorly punctuated, rambling, nonsense and new answers to posts that have been dead over 10 years…..

I agree with the other posters. You can’t have a rule where one person limits the other person, but not themself. If you do go ahead with the threesome with the other woman, what are her desires? Maybe she will want intercourse with the male. Does she get deprived of this because the gf doesn’t want her bf banging women? Can get tricky. We always have a vanilla dinner or drinks with a prospective couple before we get to play. If they have fugazy rules that we cannot abide, we wish them well and move on.

You have to figure out what you're comfortable with here and how you want to approach it. If you're OK with being limited in a FFM and having the MFM completely open then you can go down that path. If it's going to create a problem for you then I think you need to address it upfront. However if you're OK with it I think there is always a likely chance that after she has a MFM she might be more open to lifting the restrictions on a FFM either immediately or over time but there is no guarantee so you really have to figure this out for yourself.

If you are having problems talking with her about this, then maybe you shouldn't be doing it at all. Why would she want limits for you and none for her unless there was other underlying issues (trust...?). When we have set limits in the past, gender had nothing to do with it. It was the same for us both until we were comfortable with how things went and we removed or changed the limit. This kind of points to something that you need to address with her.

It's better to not do something at all than to do something that you know going into it is going to cause resentment. If it were me, I would express my feelings to her, and why I feel that way, and maybe you two can work something out. If she holds firm, then I would just skip any FFM play since it will only lead to trouble long term.

I do not think it is reasonable for one person to have no limits but impose them on the other. If she is too hung up for you to play fully with the woman, but totally OK with playing fully with another man, things are out of balance. I do not think that is a long term successful stratagem.

You found a unicorn, tagged her and set her free...?!! Booking flight to West Virginia now...what city was this? Any chance she was part of a heard? Loved you sharing your experience...you are so very lucky.

So my girlfriend and I have dabble in threesomes in previous relationships and now we want to add some fun to ours, but there seems to be different rules between a ffm and mmf. She has set high limits between myself and interaction with another female. I can only receive oral and that’s it. When it comes to a mmf there is no rules and she wants it all. Should I respect her wishes as I feel I’m getting the short end in the pleasure with the ffm?

Hello, Total newbies to the site and lifestyle here but I wanted to share this story my wife wrote about our expirence last weekend. For years, I have wanted to be with a woman. Only recently have I had the courage to admit it to my husband, after several conversations, a couple of trips to the strip club and hours of searching different apps and swinger websites, we found the elusive unicorn. We decided to go on a last-minute date night trip to a strip club in West Virginia. I was wanting another VIP experience in the club, and my husband was more than down to go as well. So, we packed our bags with our sexiest outfits and drove the couple of hours to West Virginia for our experience, leaving the kids with grandma. We planned on having a few drinks and left the car at the hotel, taking a Lyft to the club. Since we had only been to clubs in Vegas, we had dressed to the 9s to go to the club in West Virginia. Boy, did we feel over dressed, but I am glad we did it. I was wearing a very cute dress with a tank style top that is tight around the breast and upper stomach and goes loose with and under lace slip. That dress had several of the strippers complimenting me, and paying extra attention to me. I was loving it, and spent a fair amount of time with the strippers at the bar. A young, beautiful lady who was also a customer at the club complimented me on my dress as well. We spoke for a bit at the bar and she added me to her social media accounts. I was absolutely amazed because she was about half our age and gorgeous. This beautiful girl has a little shorter then me, probably at around 5’5”, curvey in just the right places, beautiful curly hair and the biggest smile. We will call her Angel, because that is what she is to us. A little later my husband and I were at the stage watching the beautiful ladies at the full nude club and I see Angel walking by, again by herself. I ask if she is there by herself (she was there supporting her cousin who was a stripper) and asked her to join us. She sat right next to me and we talked about how beautiful the girls were and how talented they were. My husband was great at keeping the drinks coming. However, he likes to have a cigar when he drinks, so we went outside. Angel also smoked and came with us. It was cold outside, but I had the warmth of all the vodka shots. Angel was cold, so I gave her my sweater as we talked about our likes and desires. I mentioned that I really wanted to go down on a girl and make her come. I really was looking to lick her, play with her boobs, kiss her and please her in all sorts of ways while my husband fucked her, but we haven’t found a girl that was interested in that yet. She pipped up with “Me, I am interested. You can make me cum!” To which I said, lets go. She of course hesitated, and was afraid at first. She leaned in and kissed me as a test. Her lips were soft and gentle. I had never kissed a girl before. I never had thought that I would enjoy kissing so much, but I loved the feel of her silky, tender lips on mine. She wasn’t ready to go with us yet, she was nervous that my husband (we call him Bear) wouldn’t like her, or that I would get jealous. She wanted to kiss him, which I told her to do. This took my husband completely off guard, but he was completely aroused. She leaned away and said “Ok, I’ll do it”. While we were sitting there, I start to order the Lyft to get us back to the hotel, but she starts kissing me again. I start feeling her breast, and they are soft and perfectly sized. I rub her nipple through her crop top while slipping my tongue in her mouth, through those soft lips. She takes my hand and lowers it to her pants. I slip my hand down and touch her wet pussy, right there in the smoking pit of the strip club. All the men outside are watching us, enthralled by our show. She moves over to Bear and straddles him on the chair, making out with him there. That is when security came and kicked her out. Not us, just her. We quickly ordered the Lyft and met her outside. I was afraid she would change her mind and leave, but she waited for our ride and got in. As soon as we got in the Lyft she starts making out with me. I feel her perfect breasts, kiss her neck and move my hand to her pussy again. She is begging for more and moaning like crazy. I am so embarrassed that the driver is hearing all of this. I later found out that Bear caught him watching in the rearview mirror and lifted Angel’s shirt to “treat” the driver. As it is getting hotter, Angel is getting louder. Both Bear and I are kissing her, feeling her up and rubbing her pussy. I have to keep telling her to “shhh, do not cum yet, wait for the hotel”. She does, but her eyes pleaded with her mouth agape in an O shape. It was amazing. We get to the hotel and rush in directly to the elevator. We continue to make out in the elevator as we just try to make it to the room. It seems like ages, but we finely make it to the room. As soon as we walk in the door Angel starts stripping clothes off. Bear unzips me and while he undresses, I lay Angel on the bed kissing down her body. I spread her legs and gaze at a perfect and fully engorged clitoris and pussy. This is it, I finally get to taste a pussy. I lean down and lick her. She moans so loud, I worry about the other people in the hotel. As I lick her pussy, borrowing my face in, Bear is kissing her and messaging her breasts. She is utterly enjoying every second and was louder then most porn stars! Bear comes down and asks if he can have a taste. I move slightly to allow his face in to lick her pussy while I insert a finger in her pussy to find her G-spot. After just a few seconds she cums. When I say she cums, I mean HARD. She screams and SQUIRTS. She squirts all over the bed. It was amazing. Now, I am not a woman that can have multiple orgasms. Angel, however, can. After just a second she is ready to go again. Now she wants to be fucked by Bear. I really want to have her on top and facing backwards, but she is not ready for that. So, Bear hopes on her missionary style while she begs for it harder and rougher. I continue to play with her boobs, clit and Bear’s balls. My husband and I ravish her for hours. She came so many times that I could not keep track. Bear was super worried before hand that he would only cum once, then be on the sidelines for the rest of the night. That did not happen. He was so turned on by what Angel and I were doing, and that he was having sex with a new woman for the first time in over 20 years he had more stamina and enthusiasm then ever before. He also came over 6 times that night! After several hours, Angel was wore out and sore. She fell asleep in the bed, and while she slept next to me, Bear took me, fucking me hard and making me cum like I had never before. We slept with Angel between us. That was incredibly hot in itself. After about a 3 hour nap both Bear and I wake up horny. We both start rubbing Angel’s back in a sensual way. After a few minutes of rubbing her back she starts to moan softly and lean her butt into Bear’s crotch. I went down on her again, making her some several more times. She again asked to be fucked by Bear. They started doggy style, but moved to Angel on top facing forward. I rub her clit as she fucks Bear. She quickly reaches a screaming orgasm. Bear has not finished yet, but Angel is sore, so we are done for the day. We drove her home and haven’t heard from her sense. We hope it was not a one time deal, but we found the elusive unicorn. I hope to see my rainbow squirting unicorn again, but I know how lucky we are to have found her at all.

I think it's possible she may warm up to it, but I'm not there to hear her side of the conversation either so sort of hard to judge that from where I sit. It's sort of a Catch-22 here, and I realize sort of contrary to my earlier advice, but maybe sort of easing into it would work. Have a few experiences under her rules, and she may find it doesn't bother her as much as she thought and will relax those rules. Or, she may stick to them, but then your resentment will likely grow, so that's a risk. I don't think it is selfish of you at all to want full participation in a FFM threesome. What is more important than what people want or don't want, is how people react to not getting what they want. It sounds like you are a reasonable person who deals with those situations in an adult way, so don't feel bad about your wants, they are what they are.

It is unfortunate just how ignorant... perhaps willfully naïve is a better description.... are Americans of the goings on in the world outside our borders, particularly our neighbors to the south. This thread has appropriately concentrated on Mexico's violence and crime. However, Mexico is just the tip of the iceberg. Most Americans would be shocked to learn that Latin America and certain parts of the Caribbean comprise the most violent, dangerous regions on the planet. Latin America, with only 8% of the world's population, accounts for roughly one-third of ALL recorded violent crimes worldwide. What's even scarier about that statistic is that violent crimes in Latin America are notoriously underreported, meaning the actual rates of violent crimes are considerably higher. Just how much higher? Nobody knows for sure. But one estimate is that they are underreported by more than 40%. What we do know is 43 of the 50 most dangerous cities in the world reside in Latin America and the Caribbean. However, the violent crime is not limited to the usual countries we all think of (i.e., El Salvador, Guatemala, Honduras, Brazil, etc.) but includes many countries Americans mistakenly believe are comparatively safe. How many Americans would be stunned to learn, for instance, that Jamaica, St. Kitts, Belize, and even the Bahamas, are actually some of the countries with the highest murder rates in the world? The rate of murder in Jamaica, for example, is 56 per 100,000, making it the second most dangerous country only behind El Salvador. That's something you may want to consider before booking your next all-inclusive holiday in Negril, Ocho Rios, or Montego Bay. Are there safe alternatives? Yes. You don't have to leave the United States mainland to enjoy a sexy tropical holiday with your partner. Cypress Cove in Kissimmee, Florida is a solid go-to destination for those interested in exploring nudism. It's safe, clean, and well-managed. Note, this is not a swinger lifestyle resort per se. It is a resort devoted to the nudist lifestyle (including families) and overtly sexualized acts in public are not permitted. Caliente in Land O'Lakes, Florida is another option. This is definitely a more lifestyle-friendly resort than Cypress Cove above. You're far more likely to meet and connect with other swingers here. The best way I can describe this resort is that it is a place in transition. It's trying hard to evolve into a genuine, higher-end resort. But, you'll be surrounded by evidence of its far more humble beginnings. Again, public sex is not allowed. However... the lines get kind of blurred from time to time. Note that neither of the destinations above are anywhere near the level of luxury of a true five-star lifestyle resort. If that's what you're really looking for, you're not going to find it on the United States mainland. The Poconos offer some adult-themed resorts that we understand are somewhat life-style friendly. Having never traveled there, we wouldn't know. Somebody else will have to offer their impressions. What I understand is these resorts are... tired... and have not had much investment to modernize the properties Or, just forgo the resort experience and head directly to one of southern Florida's nude beaches. If being in the buff and enjoying the sun and surf is your thing, a nude beach is a great way to unwind in a care-free, clothes-free atmosphere. Again, these are not places for public sex. When you're feeling frisky, take it back to your hotel room. Florida law enforcement does not have a sense of humor about public sex. Wanting to stay in the United States but willing to depart the mainland? Put St. John, USVI on your map. While St. John is a comparatively conservative island culture, it boasts some of the most amazing, unspoiled flora and fauna in the entire Caribbean. The majority of the island is a National Park. While nude sunbathing is not officially sanctioned, it does happen. Salomon Beach, only accessible by boat or by a hike from another nearby bay, is St. John's official unofficial spot for nude sunbathing. Or, at least it was. Friends tell us in recent times there has been an increased police presence at the beach and nudists are asked to don clothes or face fines. We'll know more when return there in a few weeks. Wanting something more exotic and willing to travel long distances? Bali is a great destination with some exquisite nudist resort options. However, you had better be really committed to going there. Getting to Indonesia requires roughly 24 hours of continuous travel and the resorts are located another 2+ hours away from the airport. It is worth it? Yes, once. Would we return? No. Bali is remarkable and was truly one of the most exotic locations we've ever experienced. Yet we cannot justify the misery of traveling that far to experience something that we can approximate in our backyard.

Revisiting this topic. Rereading our thoughts from three years ago, and reflecting on the pandemic and its effects on relationships, our perceptions have not changed. We made new friends on our LS cruise four months ago, and we continue to get together with our LS friends. Even with the passage of time and the challenge of these times, our LS friendships are most durable, perhaps surprisingly so. For those who have been in the LS since before the pandemic, does this resonate? Or have you had different experiences?

I noticed you must have callouses on your hand 🤪

Badgers wife here; why in the hell with your wife want to be with her ex-boyfriend? There is a reason why he is her ex boyfriend. I know for a fact that if my husband and I would ever do something like this, the last person I would want to be with is an ex-boyfriend and for him to catch feelings again regardless if he is married or not. Maybe I am just used to having a real man because my husband is. Maybe you could just start to do the things that she wants to do and just fuck her and not make love to her so that she can have both at the same time but have it be just you. I think that would be a solution.

I hope she didn’t have time to process this and now she is feeling regretful for doing this. Like the guy said above, you need to do some serious work because if she is putting distance between you, you’re gonna have to close that distance quickly before that distance becomes too far

Statistically speaking, Mexico is one of the most dangerous countries in the world. According to one crime index, Mexico only ranks behind Afghanistan and Guatemala as the third most dangerous country. How dangerous is Mexico? In the fifteen years between 2006 and 2021, more than 300,000 people have been murdered. For reference, that's roughly the population of Cincinnati, Ohio. Bear in mind, there have been tens of thousands of murders that have never been reported. People simply disappear, never to be seen again. While the cartels' primary business is related to the production and distribution of drugs, they also engage in every other heinous crime known to mankind--murder, kidnapping, human slavery, prostitution, extortion, robbery, systematic rape, and so on. Cartels often torture their victims in unspeakable ways before they die; ways that would make a person of ordinary sensibilities wretch. Most Americans cannot imagine that such a violent country exists in North America, immediately to our south. Yet, it does. For most of Mexico's modern history, the violence was fueled by warring drug cartels and limited to smaller geographical areas in more remote places and to the major metropolitan areas like Mexico City (the most populous city in North America.) The tourist areas were mostly free from the kinds of violent crimes related to the drug wars. This was not due to any benevolence from the drug cartels. It was due to the fact that the drug cartels only cared about controlling the production facilities and transportation routes that allowed them to efficiently produce and move their drugs to the United States and elsewhere. The corrupt Mexican government was only too happy to take bribes and turn a blind eye to the activities of the drug cartels. Most of the Mexican government's police actions against the cartels were for show and had no effect on combating organized crime, nor were they really intended to. That all changed about a decade ago when the Mexican government started to weed out its own corrupt actors and then launched a serious policing effort against the cartels. However, the cartels, with billions of dollars of cash and thousands of well trained, heavily armed killers at their disposal, are by some measures as powerful, if not more so, than both the local and federal governments. The cartels are striking back against the Mexican government where it hurts the most--the tourist trade. Cancun, Los Cabos, the Mexican Riviera, etc. are all being dragged into the violent conflicts between the Mexican government vs. the cartels; one cartel vs. another. Acapulco, for instance, once a favorite tropical destination of the world's rich and famous, is now completely overrun with gang violence. The cartels kill indiscriminately. Innocent citizens and tourists are often gunned down along side other cartel members. Mexico's cartels are so bloodthirsty, one cartel leader blew up an entire aircraft of innocent passengers just to kill a rival drug lord. It is painful for me to write all this. Ann and I took our first trip to Mexico back in the early 1980s. At that time, Mexico was largely a peaceful and tranquil place. Poor, for sure. But, mostly free of any serious crime. We traveled to its largely undeveloped/under-developed interior completely care-free. The threat of violence was the farthest thing from our minds. We holidayed in Mexico many, many times, and have some incredible memories. Today? You couldn't get me to go to Mexico if you paid me. It is literally a country in the midst of a civil war.

There are some L/S resorts in Florida and there still might be one or two in California, but when it comes to a true resort experience, they are all out of the U.S. Personally we think that Desire RM is the top of the list but with the problems in Mexico, we are hesitant to go there. Desire Pearl and Temptations are only a few miles away from Desire RM. There is also Hedo II in Jamaica but we haven't ever been there partially because it is not limited to 'couples only' (meaning single men can and will be there on the hunt).

Desire is not far from MS, but as discussed, we would not be comfortable going to that area now due to cartel shootouts. Not sure if it will get better or worse.

First, allow me to recommend a book for you to buy TODAY. It's called The Five Love Languages. You, and your girlfriend, need this information pronto. Second... I hate to be the one that arrives with a bucket of cold water, but I see some signs that are cause for some concern--particularly the lack of communication, the new distance between you two, and the changes in your sexual energy and habits. Yes, I appreciate your girlfriend is not overly verbal. However, her non-verbal cues are going in the wrong direction and should not be ignored. Sometimes giving her more space or creating more distance is exactly the wrong thing to do even if that is the vibe she might be giving off. My wife, Ann, is far less verbal than am I. We have different love languages. So, I can relate to what you are going through and have some experience with this. If I were in your shoes? I would immediately spring into action and give her a lot of non-verbal support combined with a lot of non-sexual affection and affirmations. I'm not sure what your economic situation is, but here are few easy starters that don't require much more than little planning and effort on your part: Bring her a big bouquet of flowers and put them in nicest vase you have (or buy a new one) Plan a night at home where you turn off the cell phones, order her favorite take-out food, and cuddle on the davenport while watching her favorite movies (when she falls asleep, carry her to bed--no sex!, then you stay up late and clean up the mess) Get up early, take her car and clean it spotless, inside and out, top off the tank, and put a Starbucks gift card for her on the dash Is there a project around the place that she wants completed? Get up early this Saturday and knock it out. In other words, don't just tell her you love her. SHOW her you love her in your deeds. That's the language she will understand and appreciate. You love this lady, so make her yours. Many a man has hesitated and lost. Best of luck to both of you. Keep us posted.

Welcome to the board! Happy to have you here and hope you use this board to help you figure this out before you jump into anything. There is a lot of help and good advice by the people who responded. I hope you can use some of it to start the real dialogue you need to have with your wife now that the conversation is started. There will need to be a lot of real questions and real answers by both of you for this to work for both of you and it must be about both of you to work. I will be honest with you, IMO doing something like this with an ex is a terrible idea and doing it with a married ex is even more of a terrible idea! There are a million other guys out there that would be more then happy to play the role for you guys that there was never an emotional connection to. There was something there once right? Why play with fire like that? As for the married part unless they are in an honest open relationship do you and your wife really feel okay with being part of the biggest betrayal one person can do to another? Is his wife just a bad person who deserves to be disrespected like that? Does anyone deserve to be disrespected like that? Is a person that doesn't treat his own wife with respect going to treat you and your wife with respect? Swinging is not about hurting others to get what you want. Cheaters give swingers a bad name and I don't consider them swingers. Of coarse if they are actually in an open honest relationship these things are not a concern. More questions I would have if I was in your shoes! Is this really about putting spice into your sex life or is it about the ex? What do I get out of this? What can you as a couple alone do to bring some more excitement into the bedroom? Is our communication strong enough to resolve things if they don't go as planned? Will I be able to live out some of my fantasies on equal terms whatever they might be? How will I feel if it becomes her playing without me there? Would be a great idea for your wife to join you on this site so you two can get a better view about what the lifestyle is all about! Ask questions and you will get some good answers.