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Somebody on this forum once said rules don't need to be fair or equal, they need to be safe and fun. In this case, though, I'd suggest that maybe the two of you could start off exploring soft swap. If intercourse is a sticking point for her with FMF, it might also be a little overwhelming to jump right in with it in MFM. Maybe agreeing to test the waters with consistent rules and see how you feel about expanding would be a better place to start.

I think the point I was making was not to get hung up based on any one event, either in your own personal sex life, or with swinging sex. It's a matter of time and place too. You have sex a whole lot more with your partner at home, after supper is cooked and cleaned up, looking at all the chores that need done but aren't, after work, etc. Then, there's a special night out. No workday still on your mind, someone brought you a nice meal and set it right in front of you, then you went to a club or had drinks at a bar with your new swinging friends, and so on. Time and place totally different. It's like vacation sex with your spouse, that's usually more high energy and intense than Thursday night before bed sex at home too.

...sure, TAKE the high road

I appreciate the input. We are sure to see them in the club tonight and we have decided that rather than being confrontational, we will say hello and walk away to mingle with other people, I agree that I would like to let him know that we are well aware of what they have been up to and perhaps one day it will come to that. I'll let you know.

I, too agree with the other posters. Unless you specifically ask her why she would want it too be one sided you don't have the communication necessary for this to have a happy ending. I have a feeling that this is going to develop into a bigger problem. I strongly suggest you guys work this out first.

Look at SLS, the online swinger site. You can meet couples or find local events.

You found a unicorn, tagged her and set her free...?!! Booking flight to West Virginia now...what city was this? Any chance she was part of a heard? Loved you sharing your experience...you are so very lucky.

It's better to not do something at all than to do something that you know going into it is going to cause resentment. If it were me, I would express my feelings to her, and why I feel that way, and maybe you two can work something out. If she holds firm, then I would just skip any FFM play since it will only lead to trouble long term.

I am happy you are asking questions. I think if you are going to continue in this life style you have to communicate and ask questions. Not all flavors fit all couples. Some men like to watch their wives, some don't. I like to watch my husband and I know he loves watching me with both women and men. It was one of the reasons we got started. You mentioned your jealousy in seeing your husband having sex. You also say you enjoy sex with your new partners. You have to ask why you are jealous and discuss it with your husband. We are not party people. We enjoy one on one with new couples. We usually talk about jealousies with new couples before we start. We know different couples have reacted in different ways. So many men won't admit they are afraid how they will measure up to other men. My husband admitted he was afraid the first man he saw me with was going to be so much better than him. He was younger and larger. I always say don't worry, it was just different. So much of what we do is based on couples where the other woman is curious and my husband always watches. Almost all of time it goes beyond that to swinging. As I said we both enjoy watching more an more. And we enjoy discussing after. Not every man I am with rocks my world. And not every woman is the best for either of us. I tell the truth to my husband, If a man was great and I orgasm he knows and is happy.

My Mrs. gets to play a lot at our favorite house party. And by the way, it's not always multi-men at the same time- sometimes it's one on one, several times, with different guys. Now when it IS multiple guys at once, I don't recall it being an actually competitive thing between the guys, trying to show off or anything. And yes, she does get sore after a while, but it is well-earned, and it usually takes a few rounds before she is too worn out to continue!

The comments got me thinking about the first few house parties I attended after my first (in which I had met Red the night before at the meet and greet.) While I am not and never will be "that guy" due to being of completely average shape and size between my legs, I became "almost that guy" once the women found out that I had bedded down and was, in fact, dating Red, the unicorn single bi-female who typically didn't play with many people (male or female) at the parties. I think the other women wanted to know what I had that had captured Red. While average in size and stature, over the next few parties, I ended up giving several women a good tasting of what Red had mightily enjoyed via my oral performance skills. Good luck and enjoy the fun...

As Tricia and others have stated, you never know. I can tell you what you may find, a great group of people or one obnoxious putz who is going to ruin your fun. You just don't know. Set your expectations low and hope for the best. You are going to look for the one woman who you want to play with. With luck she will be available and willing. Don't get too excited to fast. Stay calm and take your time. It may seem like a buffet and you may go too fast and then not enjoy the other goodies. Get ready for your wife to be with half the men. She is the new toy and everyone wants to play with it. You know the guy in the locker room with no towel? The one swaying in the wind that you pretend you didn't look at? He will be at your party. Every party has that one big guy. Let your wife enjoy. Don't worry he won't ruin her for ever. She too is in the toy store. She wants to play with all the new toys. She will know when to stop or she may want more new games. She is going to be with more toys than you are. Let her enjoy. Don't get angry if every guy wants her. Have fun and enjoy watching. You should be happy that you have a wonderful wife who is enjoying.

First and foremost, create no expectations for yourselves other than to enjoy yourselves and to have a good time. Second, do not try to match your wife encounter-for-encounter. Women will almost always receive more attention at a party and that is the way it should be. You might run out of amunition and not be able to shoot but she is very liable to still be going like the energizer bunny. This fact of party life was hard for me to understand but I have now recognized it as the natural way of things. And you should remove the notion of sloppy second from your mind. Some people are going to freshen after a tumble in the hay; others will not. And it would be poor form to ask, "hey, did you sanitize that thing after your recent frolic?" This is another thing that bothered me at first but I am now of the belief that if I can exchange bodily fluids by way of wet, sloppy kisses, any other bodily fluid is just another bodily fluid. STIs are real. You can manage risk by using protection even if nobody else at the party seems to be. I have never run into a woman at a party who raised an objection. Have a good time and let us know how it works out.