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You aren’t giving opinions, you are preaching to the wrong choir. You are posting more than anyone on a forum that you just joined and you are calling people names, telling people how they should react and have been critical of how others react in their own relationships. YOU ARE BORING!! I think you have learned, swinging is not for you at this time. Try reading and comprehend what this group is.

Public Service Announcement if you are new to a team, committee, social group etc. Maybe consider listening 10 times as much as you talk, integrate yourself into the group slowly, pick your spots to make meaningful remarks, support others in the group. If you do this you may find that you are welcomed and are brought into the fold. Alternatively, you can monopolize every conversation (relevant or not) to the point where even casual observers are sick of your shit - and then complain that you are treated roughly.

"So you’re saying that if your wife is having sex with you her husband and another man and she is close to coming and both of you are standing there ready and she chooses the playmate over you instead of asking you to finish your off. You would be OK with that. I seem to think that is far-fetched. The idea that you were not catch feelings if your wife chose someone over you in this situation is laughable." Not having the actual experience does , by default, limit your insight. You can imagine what I or others might feel. You can imagine what you might feel or do." Being on the other side of this I would never presume to know what another might do or feel. I can share how I have felt, or believe I would feel, based my on experience. Calling into question what others say from their experience , based on your inevitable ignorance of the mechanism at work, does tend to undermine your credibility.

Because swinging is complicated and a different experience for different people. And for some reason without having any experience you seem to be coming to a lot of conclusions about the lifestyle which is kind of odd. You're taking the position of what should and shouldn't happen or how people should or shouldn't feel about certain things and the experience and emotions involved in it are far more complex than you are making them out to be.

Been reading your responses regarding what’s right or wrong, you are too opinionated when you have no experience. Like others I wonder what your agenda is. Are you preaching on the sins of the mind? Swinging involves letting you and a partner enjoy others not just you. 100% I would want my friend finish off my wife, I get to do that everyday. Unless you are comfortable with that you should not swing and should not make statements on other’s wants.

I occasionally felt that word when my guy was with another woman

Threesome? Honestly, I'm not sure. The poly community uses the term "compersion" to describe feelings of happiness you get when your partner is happy or is receiving pleasure but that's more a high level emotional state. Compersion is sometimes called the opposite of jealousy. I don't know if there is an actual term for the act of connection with a partner while they are playing with another.

And what did you think when you found out? My wife found out about my bisexuality when I told her I sucked a dick once and wanted her to watch me do it again. She was all for it and hoped to join in.

For me it is a simple matter of, I am not whatsoever, in any form or fashion into effeminate men.

Exactly! I do not consider anything couples in our groups have done as gay or lesbian. It's sex with him, them, her, us, multiple genders having sex with whomever. We do have protocol for when anal comes into play, towards the end, especially if it is bareback, but the sex is just that, sex, good fun sex, pretty safe sex since we trust everyone. *(Voluntarily they'll only go as far as sticking their dick in for sloppy seconds, but can be forced by us women to do oral on a pussy made sloppy by another guy if we demand it. And why shouldn't they? We're expected to suck their dick after it's been in another cunt.)* AMEN to THAT!!! The whole goose and gander thing. *And that's fine with Lora, Clair, and me because watching gay play does nothing for us.* It's an odd balance for all of us ladies but very few of us have even been into gay sex and gay males. What's the point, they want men not us. We want sex with the men who enjoy having sex with us. The whole sucking a penis together is about sharing a like fun act, as is taking cum in ones mouth, we love to share the experience with our men. *If women are expected to take a dick in her anus, why not the men?* I agree 100%! I mean fair is fair, sharing is caring, and learning to better appreciate what we ladies give up for the men quite often. Never yet met a man who took it anally who didn't give it as well as he got. They learn from their experiences. I have no problem giving it up for the guys. I suppose that is why I enjoy anal more than most, the people I do it with are VERY good at it! *Men aren't too discriminating when it comes to sex and what's the difference between a woman's anus and a guy's?* For me, women's anal holes seldom attract me but a cute man's bum, grrrrrrrrr. Again, that is most likely why I love seeing them filled but as I mentioned the men need to be attracted to women for the chemistry to work out. As for my husband, he's never put his penis into a man's anal hole. Doesn't want to, does nothing for him, or for me. We women have one of those and they attract him big time! Guy's do not attract him in any manner, nothing about them but a woman does not have a penis or can ejaculate cum so he is okay with my crazy desires for us to play with them. As far as getting taken anally by one and cummed in, he will be the first to admit it is way better than even the best strap on. *Anal sex does nothing for me, except during DP, but I do it to please the guys when they've satisfied me, so if I wanted to see such a thing he should do it as well.* We MUST be soul sisters. I know I have said it but it still rings true.

Well, at least what you suspected is now confirmed, so don't have to feel bad about putting them on your naughty list.

"Compersion" is the word that first came to my mind too. Like Lionheart said, not sure it is a perfect fit here, but the best I could come up with. May not know the perfect word for it, but have experienced it personally. Doesn't have to be a "bull" type scenario though, regular old MFM threesome will give you first hand experience with it.

Someone on this list once defined jealousy as fear of loss. That made sense to me as I looked at my reactions. Once I was a jealous type. Then I married my wife. I have never felt jealous with her. Why? I have never felt any danger that someone could get her to leave.

We call it a really awesome memory and shared experience for both of us!

Well he’s pretty much saying that he’s not getting nothing from it that’s why he’s asking the question.

Personally I quite enjoy seeing two men together. I find gay porn hot! Personal preference. I think it is important for us not to judge others. If you like it partake, if not don't. There is no need to malign each other about it.

It gets both of us hot to watch the other play with the same sex.

I suspect that what you like about sucking a dick is similar to what I like. Plus I get the thrill of the taboo factor.

I'm a woman and that's what I like too, starting with him totally flaccid and letting it grow until it no longer fits.

The way it grew in my mouth and the size and shape.

If it’s two bi guys playing then why does it have to be “gay play”? Part of the problem with bi guys not identifying as bi is that skewed societal view.

My guys are straight. (Voluntarily they'll only go as far as sticking their dick in for sloppy seconds, but can be forced by us women to do oral on a pussy made sloppy by another guy if we demand it. And why shouldn't they? We're expected to suck their dick after it's been in another cunt.) And that's fine with Lora, Clair, and me because watching gay play does nothing for us. But there is a double standard. If we did want to see gay sex, however, it wouldn't be a question of who is going to suck who, I would expect them to be putting it in each others bums. If women are expected to take a dick in her anus, why not the men? Men aren't too discriminating when it comes to sex and what's the difference between a woman's anus and a guy's? Anal sex does nothing for me, except during DP, but I do it to please the guys when they've satisfied me, so if I wanted to see such a thing he should do it as well.

Does José know that? ??

With anal, longer is better compared to vaginal where too long can be a problem.

Anal does very little for me, I let a guy do it when he or others have gotten me off sufficiently. But I do like a finger in my bum when fucking and DP is another level up from that

My girl loves it she pressured me for a long time to try it with her she started putting me in panties and inviting hot women over we'll before you know it she had me sucking cock then she surprised me with black cock! Our relationship grew stronger and so did our love life!

My husband often refers to himself as being orally bi, he has no interest in fucking a man or being fucked by a man, but in the heat of the moment he is okay with sucking dick with me or letting a man suck his dick with me. For me its hot, Its an instant puddle in my panties. I could seriously watch him suck dick all day. And I like when I get a bisexual guy. I am bi and my husband enjoying sex is fun for me too.

You know many many many people in the world would/could/do say the exact same thing about swinging/partner sharing/infidelity etc. Everything is a matter of degrees and here in this community I hope a pray we can all be open to others without judgement regardless of our/their unique kinks. My wife loves men sucking each other. Don't know why exactly, but I also don't care why. She gets off and that's all that matters. Is it for everyone? Nope. But I'm not into ass licking either, whether with a man or woman. But I don't judge those that enjoy that activity and I would never suggest it isn't desirable in this setting.

While not part of "mainstream" swinging (definitely an oxymoron @njbm) it is probably more common than most people think and we once met a couple whose wife literally came just at the sight of her husband sucking cock.

We know plenty of couples who are into it. The women love it. m/m play in the context of mfmf and mfm play is more common than you might think. And, it would not happen if the ladies weren't enthusiastically in favor - because as we all know - they are in charge.

We are swingers. If my wife cheated on me, I'd leave her. I love to see her fuck other guys. If she lied to me about it, and betrayed me, it would be over.

Babe is turned off by male-male play. She has no issues with bi men and will play with them. However, she will politely excuse herself if two men are playing together. I'm straight and men don't do anything for me, but its neither here nor there for me. If I'm in a room where two men are playing, more power to them. You go boys! I don't mind being asked, either. All the bi men I've met, and almost all the gay men I've met, have been polite and respectful when I say "no thank you."

I am very intrigued by this idea of "special" sex. I would really like somebody to explain to me what constitutes "special" or "reserved " sex. Now, my GF was formerly very involved in the LS, prior to her divorce (which was not LS related). She has done pretty much everything sexual you can do, except for a few fetish things that she isn't into. I , also, have done just about every hetero sexual act you can perform. Although, she has said that "I fuck her stupid" or "I fuck her silly" or things like that, what we are doing, in the LS or out of it, is pretty much what everybody else does. So there is nothing she can do to me or I to her that hasn't been done before to or by either of us. "Special" isn't about sex, "special" is about love. That is why the LS isn't about "special", it's about fun!! Also, the LS isn't about setting boundaries, it's about exploding them.