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You'll read many accounts of performance anxiety on this board. Various labels are used to describe it but the end result is the same. Going easy on the alcohol is a good idea and use of Viagra is often suggested as a crutch. But, unless he always has erection difficulty, he doesn't have a 'physical' problem, he has a 'mental' problem. His brain is simply overloaded by this new situation - being naked around another man, seeing you with another man or woman, the pressure to perform. You may be able to help by getting him hard in the first place. Playing in separate rooms might also help. Playing with just a single guy a few times lets him off the hook for performing while he gets used to watching you play. Parallel play - just playing with your own partner, or soft play only might bring the tension down. Ultimately, he needs to get used to this new situation and that will take some time.

Sounds like you've given it more than a fair shot and it's just not for you, at least not right now under the conditions you've been trying. You may have more success with a FWB situation so there's some connection rather than random hookups. But this is a serious red flag that the relationship needs work and that your husband needs some maturity. "He said that we are just not on the same level and what he though was love might not be at all and that his feelings are like the feelings a person gets when cheated on."

Prep is already 99% effective, this improves on that. Especially in practice among men, as women are better about the daily pill regimen. FDA approves first injectable HIV prevention drugRather than as a daily pill, the newly approved drug, Apretude, is given to patients every two months. Even better news though is that the covid vaccine and mRNA HIV research are tightly coupled and there has been some great recent advances. How HIV research paved the way for the Covid mRNA vaccines mRNA vaccines offer hope for HIV

As I said earlier, I am enjoying reading these old threads. Many of them would have stayed in the background if not for 10th's seemingly obsessive behavior. The only bad thing about it is that 10th's late-to-the -party posts is they stand unrebutted and leave poison at the end of the threads for the unexperienced to read. Those of us who have been around the block a time or two have no trouble properly evaluating those posts. Blocking this poster would make for a more pleasurable experience for sure. Remaining to comment when it is called for serves the community down the line. I keep waiting for the light to go on when he/they realize just how protective most of us are of our marriages and partners, and that possessiveness does not equal love.

Sharing a J and tequila can lead to sex when you aren’t planning it. Our first was delayed a few times because of nerves. Keep talking and be thankful that your friends are patient.

We have a trick too, a joint, if it’s legal. Calms everybody, tequila can make you sick.

Both nerds and enhancer make good points. Not being wired that way or not being ready now are both perfectly fine places to be. It is a very good thing that you realize it and can put it into words. Another thing to consider is that there are different approaches to swinging. There are , of course the "sport sex" swingers. Generally I find them fun to be around. There are the "post notchers". Generally I think they are trying to fill some void in their lives , which in my experience they have not clearly defined. There are "relational swingers" . This is the approach that I personally follow. The better I know and the more I like a lady and her husband, the more I look forward to being with her. There are other also I am sure, those are just the ones that come to mind at the moment The point is what is it that appeals to you in the concept. It is there that I would you suggest you may find your joy. You may also find that nothing is all that appealing. That also is a good thing to know. There is truly no better or worse answer. It sounds as though you may be feeling some pressure to perform or to conform you will to your husband. You get credit for thinking about that, but it can get you into a world or hurt. I hope he has enough sense to allow you your decisions in the matter without placing any pressure.

I'm good with either. Though there's a lot of sensation lost when you remove the hair. And playing with it a bit before oral to get any loose ones out of the picture goes a long way.

Never happened to me no! You are clearly not happy about the lifestyle so you should not keep trying to force yourself to be and neither should your husband. It does not make you a failure in anyway. It is just not for you and your husband needs to back off. It sounds like you two should just be working on you two right now.

In a casual sex community? Absolutely. Especially as the covid isolation has turned a lot of new people of various walks of life onto the idea and mainstream news is talking about apps like 3Fun. After a couple years of being at risk just going to the grocery store, people's risk tolerance is changing.

It's not the secrets for me, it's the whisper of 'i'm wearing My (fill the gap) underwear for when we get home. Wow, whatever or where we are going can't finish quick enough.

The less hair the better for both of us! Women still look like grown women to us without pubic hair. Never been an issue. She also prefers men that have clean shaven faces as well. Oral is just better without hair to navigate through to us and we both love oral.

I’m a busy woman and I like taking charge of my time - which happens to include certain appearance routines that I’m into.

I'm not interested in wrestling with Chewbacca. But there is a lot of middle ground between a wild jungle, and waxed vag. As long as I have reasonable access, I'm an enthusiastic cunnilinguist. If a lady prefers to shave, that's fine. If she prefers not to, that's fine too. Just keep it trimmed enough that I don't have to spit pubes as I go.

Hair. I want to have sex with a woman, not a pre-pubescent girl, thank you very much. However, there is nothing wrong with a nice trim.

Bald. Hair in mouth, teeth unappealing. A local shock jock said women didn’t shave down there when he was in college. He said oral sex was like wrestling with Chewbacca.

We know all about Eagles fans having been long time Giants fans. As a Jersey girl I can hold my own against a Philly guy. I put on my best Philly accent and tease the hell out of them. “You call that a Hoagie?” What the fuck is a hoagie. Real men have big Subs. As loud mouthed as they were, three guys trying to impress me and their friends get very shy when their dicks are out. Once I figured who the Alpha was and got him to go down I had them all in control. It’s funny what a pussy does to wise guys.

My husband often refers to himself as being orally bi, he has no interest in fucking a man or being fucked by a man, but in the heat of the moment he is okay with sucking dick with me or letting a man suck his dick with me. For me its hot, Its an instant puddle in my panties. I could seriously watch him suck dick all day. And I like when I get a bisexual guy. I am bi and my husband enjoying sex is fun for me too.

Shortly after we moved to Florida (summer 2006) we were contacted by a couple on sls. The age was right and they lived close by. The husband even opened their private pictures. Turns out that their definition of h/w/p was way different from ours so we replied that we weren't a match and wished them well. I then received a number of additional emails that got progressively more obscene and confrontational. The last one described the front of our home and our Bassett hound and he stated that my wife was fat and he'd maybe stop by one day just to meet her. I replied that we usually had 3-somes, me, Mrs Doc and our good friend Mr Glock. I told him he was welcome to stop by anytime, Mr Glock would welcome him. Then I blocked him. This was the photo in which he described Mrs Doc as a fat bitch. Go figure!!

The little bit of a tummy that results from having had a baby can actually be an indication of fertility and a turn-on. Being fat or obese, however, is a definite turn-off.

In 1998, I lived in El Paso, TX with my ex-husband. We went out one night to sing Karaoke and ran in to a couple that he knew. The couple invited us over to their apartment and we decided to go with fun intentions in mind. When we got there we sat around talking and they asked us if we want to play a sexual card game. We had never done anything like that before but we said sure, we weren’t shy or anything. They explained that for a certain pair of cards the woman had to give a BJ or kiss the girl or get ate out and so forth. So we started playing the game and were having a great time The girl at one point had to give my ex a BJ, but he didn’t respond well, she had to work hard. I think that upset her a little. The next round, it was my turn to give the guy a BJ , so I did and the guy got really erect. I think that upset her a little more. She started telling me that the last time she played this game that she got a women lover out of it. I had to tell her that although she was pretty, I just was not interested. The game was over after that. My ex and I were pretty tipsy, so when they offered to let us stay on the couch, we accepted. So they went to their room and we laid down and started getting frisky, when all of a sudden this crazy crazy women comes out of her room with a handgun, waving it around, blabbering about how she’s not good enough for me and how I had sucked her husband’s dick and on and on... Her husband all but tackled her...muttering about having too much to drink (no shit). He had to calm her down and put her to bed. We did not stay the night. So when Kevin says let’s swing...I must tell you that the crazy bitch scene popped in my brain and made me thoroughly think over trying to swing again. Needless to say everyone that we have met in lifestyle has been chemically balanced. Lol. -Danielle