Leaderboard

My wife is blue eyed and blonde hair and and fair skinned I'm pretty sure she can sun burn under a 60 watt light bulb! I look Hispanic the more sun the darker I get. I speak Spanish and a couple other languages (besides English LoL). We have never experienced bias in the LS either. Actually the only thing we have ever noticed is the large number of people that are homophobic.

When I was in grad school I had an FWB who sometimes liked fairly intense stimulation. Once I was licking her clit. Pretty firmly, but just using my tongue and lips. She called out in a surprisingly loud and semi-annoyed voice. "Bite it! Why do you think they call it eating!?!" I got her clit between my front teeth and gently but firmly closed them together, waiting for her to tell me to stop. Instead, she had an orgasm. (It still felt a bit weird to me, but hey, whatever floats your little man in the boat. 😉)

So the other woman can — apparently — please both of you manually and orally, but she isn’t to receive any pleasure from *either* of you? Yeah, let us know how that works out …

WE read so many posts last night. Some questions brought up more questions. Questions brought up conversation, conversation lead to SEX. Not a bad thing. Debbie asked me if I would watch, do I want to watch, would I enjoy watching, would I watch if it was our friend or better with a stranger. Good questions. She additionally asked if I think our lady friend is attractive, would I pick her up if she was in a singles bar and we were all single. She asked me if ever thought of her friend sexually before. Last night I sure did all night. I blocked out the thought of our male friend and Debbie and undressed in my mind the girlfriend. In my mind YEAH I would do it. Can I? Read a lot about sex with friends, pros and cons. I could go bad, more for us, less for them. They are already swingers. We read a thread that it’s better with people you know and like, and we read do we lose friends if it goes bad. We are still dealing with the can we question. Do we want to question. The more we talk the more curious we become. We found a recent article in a newsfeed, Is Monogamous Sex, Monotonous Sex. I never thought it monotonous but is it? Do we have the same sex every time, do we change it up? We have been monogamous since we became committed. She never complained about our sex, I’m happy, is there more? Debbie’s question if I would watch and enjoy, I asked her if she could watch. She said she would if I wanted. More talk, more questions, more answers, more excitement, more doubt, more reassurance. We decided that to the moment we can change our minds.

It is a truism that the ladies run the LS. “No” indeed means no, it is non-negotiable and it is irrevocable. “No” is also the default response. Avoiding “no” and getting to “yes” requires sensitivity and skill. Some tips... Speak to her, speak with her. She makes the decisions. The gentleman she is with might be her protector but he is not the decision-maker. Charm matters. Respect matters. It may be a costume party. It may be naked in the hot tub. It may be at dinner. The setting is irrelevant. She is a lady and expects to be treated as such. Consent matters. Ask. Do not assume. Accept the response gracefully. Think before you speak. Ribald humor might or might not be welcome. Locker room conversation is almost never welcome. The LS is about relationships. A gentleman does not kiss and tell. Discussing past partners is almost never appropriate. There is one exception: your spouse/significant other. Describe her as the queen that she is. Make it clear that there is no competition, nor will you compromise your respect for her. Loyalty and love do matter—they make the LS safe for all those other fun things. Create a private moment. Your potential playmate does not want her choices and preferences to be known except when she chooses to make them known. If you are getting to “yes”, be sensitive that she may want to “check in” with her spouse. She is going home with him, not you. If you get to “yes”, remember that it’s about her more than it is about you. Listen. Make the memory wonderful. Say thank you. You might be asked back.