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4 pointsDude, brutha or any other fuckin word you use. You have so much to say but you can’t fuckin put a sentence together. Are you a fuckin doctor? Are you Excepting Patients? Duh. Get a fuckin life!
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2 pointsI see this thread is rather old but I’ll include our pre-pandemic experience. Because of our schedule, we stopped in at the club early on a Sunday evening in December. We had no plans on participating, we just wanted to check out the place. Only the hostess, club security guy and bar tender were on premises so we got to casually chat with everyone. The friendly security guy gave us a tour around the first floor as the upstairs couples only area was closed this day. When we arrived at the group play room located in the back corner of the building, the security guy looks over at the Mrs., chuckles and says, “Unless your experienced with this kind of thing, I wouldn’t go in this room. You’ll turn around and find yourself starin’ at 25 cocks!”
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2 pointsLet us know how it goes I wanted to touch on a few things you've said; Our society raises us to believe that monogamy is the only right and proper way to be with someone. All of our upbringing regarding relationships teaches us that having sex with someone else outside of your relationship is wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. You can't be more wrong than to do that. Cheating is horrible! Except, swinging isn't cheating. Jealousy is real. I used to be a very jealous person when I was in my 20s. I used to get jealous about my girlfriends at the time seeing a male gynecologist. There's an aspect of possessiveness in that. Thing is, jealousy is 99.9% bad. There's a small bit of it that is useful to remind us how much we love someone, but otherwise it's a very dark, damaging emotion. As above, we're taught that someone else wanting your spouse must be bad. We're supposed to be jealous about that. Ok, why? Where does that come from? Is it training and upbringing, or is it really how you feel deep down? I have never felt jealous knowing or seeing my wife having sex with someone else. I love her completely, in every possible way I can imagine, and she with me. We are intensely committed to each other. That love, that sense of togetherness is the basis for why I don't feel jealous when another man is inside of her, I know we'll remain devoted to each other, no matter how good the sex is with the other guy. So, to the question of is there a reason to not feel it's wrong? Absolutely. As my wife and I got into swinging, it rather amazed me just how much I enjoyed watching her enjoy another man. As mentioned, I wasn't jealous. I was actively turned on by it, and remain so to this day many years later. I delight in hearing her relish another man inside of her, I enjoy watching her move with him, and I love how happy it makes her to have another man, how incredibly turned on she becomes. For quite some time I attempted to explain to myself why it was I should take delight in this when all of my upbringing said this is wrong. I stopped trying to explain it, and just accept it. For me, my wife having sex with other men is a fantastic experience, and I am ever so glad that we went down this road. Because of many reasons some of which are; it doesn't just break society's standards...it flips the table completely over. People can't wrap their brains around it, and immediately decry it. People presume swingers are disease ridden filth mongers, without a care in the world about their personal health. People presume swingers are the gutter of society, the absolute dregs. It's so bad that people are far more accepting of cheating than they are of swinging. Cheating contains an edge of knowing it's wrong, and knowing that it's just an aberration, not something regularly accepted so society's rules are still in play. I have a friend who knows my wife and I are swingers. This friend has been in a long term affair with a married man whose wife does not know. This friend is against what I am doing with my wife, but accepts herself having the illicit affair. Go figure. As to the dregs of society; nothing could be further from the truth. Go into a grocery store of an evening; the mix of people you see are the same mix of people you see in swinging. There isn't a "type". My wife and I once played with a couple where the husband was the provost of a major university, one of the 20 largest universities in the country. But, the judgements persist. This is one of the reasons why it's almost always a bad idea to propose swinging to friends who (so far as you know) are not swingers themselves. They will judge, and judge harshly. In your case, your friends are already swingers of course. Not necessarily. Swinging isn't for everyone, and not swinging doesn't mean there's something wrong with you. It doesn't work for some people, and it shouldn't ever be forced along. It's a team thing; you do it together, and the one coming along to the idea the slowest is the pace at which things should proceed...if they proceed at all. But consider this oft used metaphor in swinging; if all you ever had was vanilla ice cream, you'd die happy having that as your only flavor. Ice cream would be good, a treat, something you relished. You would also miss out on the many exquisite flavors of ice cream in the world, none of which by partaking would ever reduce your appetite for vanilla. Some couples don't like the idea of their spouses being right there, watching. Some couples play separately for this reason. But, the large majority of couples play together. If you get into swinging, It's likely you will find you enjoy watching your spouse having sex. Also, you may find your attention rather drawn away by the person you're playing with My wife has had a couple of long term boyfriends over the years. As such, she has had many solo dates where she goes to them for a date followed up with a nice long sex session with them. She loves having me in the room with her when she's playing, but also enjoys playing solo as it provides an opportunity to focus solely on her lover. It's a different experience. I love hearing all about it when she comes home while I make love to her. It's a wonderful experience, but not something I think most couples should so when first getting into swinging. When my wife and I first got into swinging, this was a concern of ours as well; what sort of impact would this have on our marriage? Was there potential for harm? Worse, potential for irreparable harm? We did our own investigations, part of which was here on this board. What we found was that about 70% of marriages are improved by getting into swinging, about 28% no effect, and 2% harmed. This was partly based on something we read back then (around 2008). We also felt that if our communication was strong, and we did things as a team, that there wouldn't be any harm, and if there were we could always back away from it and brings things back to center for us. It was a bit of a calculated risk, but we felt that the potential pluses far outweighed the potential negatives. We made the right decision for us. Our marriage was very strong before we got into swinging, and it only got stronger as we got into it. I would venture to guess that the first time for most men results in performance issues to one degree or another. I know that was the case for my first time. The woman I was with was wonderful in so many ways. I really enjoyed her. But, the experience was very overwhelming, being with a new woman for the first time in ten years and also transfixed by my wife's experiences right there next to me on the bed. Mr. Happy was not entirely cooperative that night. We played with the same couple a month or so later, and there were no problems. It's normal. Don't get worked up about it. *You* could freak midway too My wife and I had a lot of rules at first. All of them are gone now, except for one which is apropos to this. It's the golden parachute clause; if either of us feels something is wrong and they must end the evening, we need only say so. The other of us will agree complete, we'll politely exit the scenario and then discuss it in the car on the way home. We've never had to use that, but it's a comfort knowing it's there. The only time I started to feel a slight bit like that was in an MFM where the other guy put his hand on my wife's neck while he was having sex with her. He wasn't choking her really, but it worried me. I was razor sharp focused on my wife's experience and she seemed to be very much enjoying it all, so I didn't put a stop to it. My wife later said it was unusual for her, but it didn't alarm her. You might consider a similar clause; it empowers both of you, and leaves both of you feeling like a situation won't get out of control. This is critically important. Everything I'm reading from you indicates you are communicating very well, which is crucial for successful swinging. -- I hope everything is going well for you, regardless of your decision to play or not!
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1 pointI guess it’s good the world isn’t so black and white then? You come with your sage judgmental wisdom for people that are are long gone. Keep fighting the good fight 🤨
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1 pointI'm guessing it still usually is - scaring off the customers is bad for everyone - but that it's not at all unheard of for tourists to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. This type of unintentional gang killing of tourists has happened over the years in the Caribbean, as well. With that said, I'm actually a bit surprised on the earlier post about it being presumptively dangerous outside the United States and to choose an option with U.S. jurisdiction. The USVI's crime situation is horrific, even by Caribbean standards. St. John has long been one of the more stable islands for tourists, but still. By comparison, the BVI is quite safe overall. Of course, that could all change at any time, and perceptions of crime are relative to the observer. We all like to think of our own home as safe, and we've usually made a significant investment in it. Tourists are often visiting places in the Caribbean and Latin America that they would never live precisely because they are cheap. If we traveled the same way within the United States, many of us would be harmed here, too. Everybody wants a good deal when it's time for palm trees, but nobody who visits Chicago tries to save a buck by booking a hotel in Englewood. There's a human cost implied in a lot of those package deals, unfortunately.
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1 point"Thinking this will be the last time leaving home as a monogamous couple." If you are worried maybe this will help with the mindset. We believe that people conflate two concepts and then use one word incorrectly. The two concepts are Marriage and Sexual exclusivity. The word that is used with a meaning different to what it means is Monogamy. Mono Gameo in Greek means quite literally, I am to married to one. When the two of you are finished with this weekends adventure, remember that you are still married to each other and not to any others. You will no longer be sexually exclusive. The big difference there is there is never any doubt who has your back, for either of you. Who is the person who you consult about decisions? Who is the person who is "Your Person." Who is the one you trust above all others? That is marriage. Sex can and does support marriage don't get me wrong. It is NOT marriage though. Some people differentiate Making Love and having sex as the defining thing as far as sex goes. That is as useful a distinction as any.
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1 pointDon’t overthink what might happen, just make sure you are both thinking alike. There is only one first time, there is no putting the toothpaste back in the tube. Make a promise to Debbie that you will never hold her actions against her, then ask her for the same commitment. Enjoy your trip and have a Merry Christmas.
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1 pointHere we go again, hitting the road later today. Thinking this will be the last time leaving home as a monogamous couple. We bought two a few Covid testing kits for the trip. Debbie is acting like this will be it, not much different from the last few times we visited so I don’t know how excited I should be.
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1 pointIt appears that most everyone agrees and applauds the great amount of communication this couple used to talk out the concerns at hand. well except for one. growth and expansion in the lifestyle is highly normal. The more you play with the same person or couple the more exploring, new doors open. It all works as long as there is open and honest communication. Not denial and trickle truth. Nothing was hidden here. All have come to a mutual agreement and new horizons are being explored. everyone has preferences, likes dislikes, skills and talents. The lifestyle is not a game of tit for tat. For those that try to enforce that….or look for tight controls….be controlling…restrictive usually do not have good experiences…..nor last long in the lifestyle. for the two couples in question they addressed and handled this very well. Discussing amongst themselves and then with each other. awesome.
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1 pointAs I said earlier, I am enjoying reading these old threads. Many of them would have stayed in the background if not for 10th's seemingly obsessive behavior. The only bad thing about it is that 10th's late-to-the -party posts is they stand unrebutted and leave poison at the end of the threads for the unexperienced to read. Those of us who have been around the block a time or two have no trouble properly evaluating those posts. Blocking this poster would make for a more pleasurable experience for sure. Remaining to comment when it is called for serves the community down the line. I keep waiting for the light to go on when he/they realize just how protective most of us are of our marriages and partners, and that possessiveness does not equal love.
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1 pointAny news on how you two are doing? Have you had your reconnection? Tried again with the same couple or another? Given up on the whole thing?
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1 pointI call Viagra the insurance policy. On quite a few occasions, I rose to the event and the other husband did not. Viagra is the difference maker. It should only be taken if needed and medically prescribed, not recreationally. But I can go two rounds for the first time since I was young.
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1 pointPrevious folks are correct about performance issues for men. It happens ALL the time. Really. I remember how excited, nervous and giddy we were our first time. it was certainly an A ticket ride. So many taboo thoughts, sensory overload etc. We are bound to make mistakes in that situation. We sure did. I think it helps a lot to remember that you two are a team. Your have a 17 year track record where you trusted each other enough to actually have sex with another couple. No little party mistake should or could derail that. Really. Discuss what didn't work. But do so from afar. Like put the bad shit in a box and pretend to look inside and see, oh that's the shit we didn't like. Oh well, never going there again. Then close the box and put it out with the trash. Learn fro the mistakes, but don't let them rule your life. Then look each other straight in the eyes and talk about what worked, the excitement you shared, how you felt about each other, how you love each other. Hug, kiss have sex. Deepen your love and your commitment to EACH other. Now the next time you venture out, you'll have more experience and you probably won't make the same mistake.
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1 pointAgree with Hunterdon. A guy having erectile problems in a swap is commonplace. When it has happened to me, the women have been helpful and understanding. I am sure they see it all the time. Some things of help: ED medication, separate rooms from your spouse if you are super trusting and comfortable with the other couple, just receive oral and finish that way if possible. Sometimes, it just doesn’t work and the more you think about, the more it won’t work. I don’t see where anyone did anything wrong. These things happen. As one woman said to me, “We’re not porn stars.”
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1 pointI think these things are all part of the bargain which is why open minds and accepting attitudes are so important. Please don't beat yourself up over getting a little lost in the moment because that's part of the joy of swinging. Assuming you both knew what you were getting into then it's unfair for one of you to hold anything against the other. Having ED under pressure of his first FS is actually quite normal. To quote George from Seinfeld, "sometimes a guy feels it would be easier to bend a spoon with his mind than get an erection". Normal newbie jitters. The mixed emotions part is also normal. We have watched a few episodes of Playboy TV's "Swing" and on that show the 'new' couple has to sign a contract that basically says "All the normal rules of a normal monogamous relationship are temporarily set aside and we give each other permission to explore and engage is sexual relationships with other partners.... something about no judgement and no animosity etc.". From what you describe I don't think anybody did anything wrong. Assure each other that no matter what happens in the Lifestyle you love each other and are there for each other. Then take a short breather and try again.
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1 pointIt is a crisp fall Sunday afternoon, and I am relaxing at home with my husband J, a football game on the TV, a glass of wine in my hand. As my hand rests on the jeans of his muscular thigh, his fingertips are tracing their way along the edge of my snug shirt, the cotton stretched over my large tits. His fingers are dipping in between the lace of my bra and the flesh of my breasts. And as his fingers close around one already-hardening nipple, my eyes close and I feel a sigh escape my lips. I can feel my panties begin to dampen as his lips brush against my neck, his fingers now rhythmically pinching and squeezing. Suddenly I startle as the doorbell rings, and my eyes fly open to the sight of J’s friend M standing at the glass door, a grin on his face. I can feel my cheeks flush as J gets up to let him in, not sure how much of our little PDA he just witnessed. Making me even more embarrassed is the fact that I’ve always found M very sexy (something that J loves to tease me about!). He’s built like my sexy husband, broad chested and thick, muscular legs, but with puppy dog brown eyes instead of my husband’s baby blues, and a mop of brown hair instead of my husband’s shaved head and full beard. I say hello and remove myself to the kitchen while the boys get settled, refilling my wine and gathering the boys some beer. When I return they are quietly talking, so low that it almost sounds like they are sharing secrets or something. “What are you guys talking about?” I ask as I walk over to where they are sitting. “Oh, you know baby, just guy stuff” replies my husband. Both of them have grins on their faces like little boys who have gotten themselves into some mischief, but I don’t press it further. They are each seated on an end of the couch, leaving a spot for me in the middle. I hand them their beer and settle in to watch the game. Over the next hour or so, a few more drinks in, I am acutely aware of M’s eyes on me much more than normal. A few times I even glance over and it seems like he is undressing me with those beautiful brown eyes. My cheeks feel hot as I imagine, in my slightly tipsy state, what he might be thinking. I try to keep my eyes on the TV screen, feeling my clit tingle as I furiously try and ignore his gaze, and ignore my own response to it, when I feel J’s hand on my leg. I look up at him and see a hunger in his eyes, that familiar lust that makes my pussy tremble. As he leans in to kiss me, I back away, slightly embarrassed, unsure, yet very aroused at the sexual electricity I can feel in the air. “Baby!” is all I can say. His grin gets wider and he leans in again, and this time I do not try to resist. His lips are heaven on mine, his tongue sweet in my mouth. My eyes close in ecstasy as we kiss. As the kiss deepens, I feel myself melting, and his hand reaches to cup one large breast. I lean into his hand, but then I suddenly remember that we aren’t alone on the couch. I pull away for a moment, “Honey (giggling like a schoolgirl) what are you doing?” “I don’t mind” I hear from behind me, and I look over to see M watching us intently, one hand resting on a growing bulge in his jeans. My breath catches in my throat, and I look back at J. He smiles at me, his eyes and smile expressing his excitement and his consent. This was a scenario that we had discussed in the bedroom, a fantasy enacted with a dildo that I had assumed would always be just that- a fantasy. A million thoughts are racing through my head as I suddenly feel M’s lips on the back of my neck. They are soft and warm, and I feel no desire to deny or resist the sensations running through my body. My head drops back as his lips make their way along the side of my neck, and J takes advantage of my exposed cleavage and begins to lick and nibble himself. I can feel M’s hands sliding up my back and unhooking my bra, and J slides the lace out from under my shirt, freeing my tits for his hands to cup. I can feel my pussy beginning to throb as I lean back into M’s embrace. He pulls my shirt over my head as I lay back against his hard chest, J sliding my skirt and panties over my hips. As I lay naked between my husband and another man, my brain is telling me this must be a dream, that I should stop everything and come back to reality, but my entire body is on fire, feeling so very, very right. M continues to kiss my neck and ear as his rough hands squeeze and pinch my hard nipples, as J parts my soft thighs for his tongue. His mouth is ecstasy on my clit as it always is, but the sensation of his mouth licking, nibbling, tasting while M is working my tits takes me to heights of pleasure I’ve never experienced. I’ve never before heard the sounds coming from my throat as M moves around to suck my nipples, bringing my large tits together to put both nipples in his mouth as J is working his magic eating my delicious pussy. I feel M move away for a few moments, but am too immersed in the sensations of the tongue on my clit to wonder why, my eyes heavy with pleasure. I then feel M’s hand caressing my cheek, and I open my eyes to see that he is standing over me completely naked, his hard, thick cock in his hand. My breath catches in my throat, and I look down at J between my legs, wanting to be sure this is what he wants. “Suck that hard cock baby” he says to me as he begins to take his own clothes off. I turn back to M, parting my mouth tentatively at first as he guides his cock towards it. His flesh is soft against my lips, and he gently but firmly grabs my hair as he pushes his dick into my waiting mouth. I groan as his cock slides in, and my shyness quickly disappears as he begins to fuck my throat. J is between my thighs once more, and my muffled moans begin to get louder as he licks and sucks my clit, his finger now stroking my g spot. As M is groaning over me, my hand grasping his tight ass, moving him closer to me as his cock slides in and out of my throat, I can feel myself cross the threshold of ecstasy, waves of pleasure coursing through my body as my cum gushes into my husband’s mouth. I lay back, my whole body tingling, continuing to stroke M’s cock as J moves up to kiss me deeply, his hard cock pressing against my belly. “On your knees, my love, get on the floor” he whispers to me. I gladly obey, the three of us moving to the plush carpet. As I settle onto my knees M and J both come to stand in front of me, two beautifully hard cocks on display in front of my mouth. I take a cock in each hand and begin to move between them, sucking one and then the other, drooling over them as I work to keep them both rock hard. I deepthroat each one, slowly sliding it all the way down my throat, tears coming to my eyes as I fight the urge to choke on their big cocks. As I take a turn with M, he lowers down to kneel in front of me, bringing me down to hands and knees. J moves behind me, sliding easily into my dripping wet pussy. They begin to bounce my body back and forth between them, J’s cock in my sweet pussy and M’s cock in my mouth. J begins to fuck me harder and harder, until I hear the telltale breath that lets me know he’s on the verge of cumming. Pulling out, J moves to sit on the couch, and I see him exchanging glances with M. Grinning, M leans in to my ear..”Are you ready for me to fuck you?” Butterflies are moving around in my belly as I look between the two of them, and I feel a new gush of juices leave my throbbing pussy. M leans in to kiss me, his tongue swirling in my mouth, as he leans me back on the floor, mounting me from above. His cock feels somehow different than my husband’s, and my breath catches in my throat as I feel the head…and then the shaft….slide their way in. As he begins to pump that thick cock inside of me, my legs wrap around his back, eagerly offering my hips to him. I look over and see J intently watching us, his cock hard as a rock even though he’s barely touching it. I can feel my cries getting louder as M fucks me hard and deep, and I hear him growl as he pulls out. “Ride me, beautiful” he asks (commands? I don’t know which it is, and I don’t care). As he lays down, I look into my husband’s eyes, making sure he sees the expression on my face as I mount his friend’s beautiful thick cock. We lock eyes as I begin to ride, whimpers and sighs and moans all leaving my mouth at once. As my pace begins to pick up speed, J gets up off the couch and moves behind me. I am not sure what he’s doing until I feel the head of his cock press against my tight asshole. “Baby!” I say breathlessly, feeling a bit nervous. He kisses my back and shoulders as the head continues to press, waiting for my muscles to relax and let him in. In a single moment, they do, and suddenly I know the sensation of a cock in each of my slutty holes. The intensity is overwhelming as they both begin to move, M fucking my pussy and J moving in and out of my ass. I can feel my pleasure building and building, not sure I can take it anymore as they both begin to pound harder and faster, and then M takes my bouncing tits into his mouth and begins to suck rhythmically, and it becomes too much to take. I can feel myself exploding, my orgasm tearing through every part of my body, feeling as though I’m shattering into a million stars. One long, loud cry rips from my throat, and I collapse, my entire body shaking with the intensity of my pleasure. “On your knees, baby” J tenderly says as he pulls out. I slide my pussy off of M’s cock, gasping as I feel his thickness leaving me, and settle onto my knees in front of them. Each of them standing over me, they begin to stroke their cocks with one hand, the other hand roaming my body: grabbing my tits, gripping my hair, stroking my face. M cums first, a low growl erupting from his throat as his cum covers my face, my tits. The sight of another man’s cum shooting all over me sends J over the edge and with a loud yell he too covers me in his cum. I open my mouth to catch as much of it as I can, tasting his sweetness. Kneeling before them, covered in jizz, a smile on my slutty face, I thank M for stopping by to watch the game and hope that he comes by again very soon ?
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1 pointAwww sweetie he is a shit person and quite honestly you deserve better. He has no excuse for talking to you that way. If it were me I'd boot his ass out the door and I'd have twenty threesomes in twenty days and make sure he flipping knew it.
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1 pointMy husband often refers to himself as being orally bi, he has no interest in fucking a man or being fucked by a man, but in the heat of the moment he is okay with sucking dick with me or letting a man suck his dick with me. For me its hot, Its an instant puddle in my panties. I could seriously watch him suck dick all day. And I like when I get a bisexual guy. I am bi and my husband enjoying sex is fun for me too.
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1 pointWe go to the Red Rooster almost regularly whenever we go to Vegas. We’ve had some mediocre experiences and some amazing experiences, just depends on the people who are there at the time. We both absolutely love fucking in front of people, complete strangers especially, and tend to go that route more than swapping or anything like that. The last time we were there was a little quiet and we were bored for an hour or so before we met an older couple (they were in their late 40s, we’re in our early 30s) while we were in the jacuzzi. They were a very attractive couple and we got along great. Somewhere mid conversation the wife told us that it was his birthday (never did get the exact age). Anyway, later on I ended up giving the guy a bday lap dance and handjob while his wife and my husband watched. Never know what to expect.
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1 pointI enjoy being there, but we also play alone or threesomes with other couples. What do you fear about "feelings"? We have emotional attachments to our play partners and think that it's a good thing. I like that my wife's lovers care about her as more than a good fuck. And it hasn't diminished her love or commitment to me at all.
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1 pointSame with us. In some circumstances, "I love you's" are exchanged, in the heat of passion and when saying goodbye. It's natural and doesn't bother me at all. I actually prefer that a man cares for my wife. It's ironic that people who are swingers are so open and even enjoy seeing their spouse have sex with others in every possible way, but a little emotion, a little caring, is taboo.
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