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My mother gave me an aspirin as birth control. I said Ma, I’m not stupid, this an aspirin it’s not birth control. She answered if I put it between my knees and not let go it will be.

What makes you think this question isn’t real 🥳.

Or the couple who got birth control pills from the doctor. They returned a couple of months later pregnant. The doctor asked if they had been using the pills. The lady said yes but the pills keep falling out.

For some reason, this reminds me of one of my father’s borscht belt jokes. A doctor prescribed suppositories to his patient, but he didn’t explain how to use them. When the patient returned the doctor asked if the pills helped him? The patient said for all the good that those pills did for me, I could have shoved them up my ass.

Get a life.

In our bunker. Take out lobster, crab, shrimp, oysters, champagne. Happy New Year to all, hope the pandemic is a bad memory next year.

Congrats on your first experience! Like the others have said, they are rarely perfect. Not just the first one, but any of them. But, they are almost always fun and exciting! :) For us anyways, we didn't approach perfection until it was with friends we had been together with several times. Then, the nerves are gone and everyone is totally relaxed. Best thing is not to judge yourself or others too hard and just take what comes and enjoy the ride, and then that's when things get perfect.