Leaderboard

That's what we've been doing up until this point. And it's always turned out well because we are super selective. They say that single males are a dime a dozen. If you are looking for a quality guy, I disagree. lol

I'd say good call not hooking up with a friend. If the idea of an MFM is a turn on for you and your Mrs. then join a swinger's site like SLS or Kasidie and put your intentions out there. Once you get a short list of qualified candidates set up some Zoom meets and see if there is real chemistry. It's fun!

Swinging is done with your partner or your partners full knowledge and approval. It's done in the light with honesty, love and respect. Cheating is done in secret, without your partner or their knowledge. It's done in the dark with lies and deception. Can swingers cheat: of course, but once they start cheating, they stop being swingers and start being cheaters.

I was just wondering how the women here who've done gangbangs felt after their first one. My first big gangbang was with another woman and we had 12 guys show up. It was pretty intense for both of us because we may have overestimated the number of guys we could take. It was really difficult for both of us because we each played with all 12 guys and we both did anal. There were times during that night when we thought we couldn't take any more. Afterwards I had a mix of emotions. I was exhausted but after about an hour I felt a sense of calmness and peace. It might sound strange but I was really proud of myself. What really surprised me was that before the night was over I was feeling horny again and played with some of the couples who had come to watch our gangbang.

Cheating happens in any aspect of life at a wide variety of levels. Day to day life, education, work/careers, relationships you name it…..it happens. An interesting conversation recently at a gathering (side note: those involved varied greatly in ages, background and experience in the lifestyle) concerning cheating. It started with a couple active in the lifestyle for just under two years and a meet up they thought they had planned well with an interested couple. Typical result the male showed up and the wife fell ill but said he could go. After dinner and drinks they all decided to play as a threesome. The evening ended well. After a few weeks past they figured out during conversations with the other couple that the wife, although a swinger did not know her husband had met up with them. This started a rather big debate of cheating as a swinger and just where are the lines drawn when it comes to defining cheating. I have to say that although all had issues with cheating it was surprising the variations of what each couple and within that individual thoughts of what they considered cheating and possible response to being cheated on. Also of the dozen or so adults all but a couple had experienced being cheated on while in a relationship at some point in their lives. A few lost relationships as a result. Of the many and varied definitions offered and the wide variety of circumstances I can boil it down to a couple of points. If you are in the lifestyle at any level can you cheat? Can you be cheated on? Absolutely, yes. How do you define cheating or being cheated on? Well that is a loaded question with far to many variables. But I think after listening and participating in this lively conversation I have come up with it: Any activity, conversation, act or meeting that you are not willing to discuss prior to, during or after. That you take steps mild or dramatic to conceal or hide. If it where known would it cause negative results, hurt feelings….great loss…..well that is cheating. Seems a bit simplistic but most every individual, no matter as a couple, had variations that even differed than their SO what they considered cheating and what was workable or a deal killer. what are your thoughts?

Who cares what you want? Does your wife have to fulfill your fantasy?

Please see the current topic about swingers and cheaters... you may not be swingers (yet) but you are standing at the start of that road. Even if you really wanted to proceed this this guy (and we STRONGLY recommend that you don't swing with friends), he is not a swinger, but a cheater and you have wisely realized that drama is the only thing he can bring to the party. However, talking about swinging, talking about your fantasies, imagining swinging (especially sharing this information with your partner) are things that all of us here did at one time. Even that you have sought this forum out is all signs that you are interested (and it sounds like she might be as well). It is the start, but where it goes is up to the two of you. Just keep talking... BTW, if you think that he is the only guy undressing your woman with his eyes, you are not paying close enough attention. Somehow we had missed the photos you have posted but she is an extremely beautiful (apparently submissive) woman. Absolutely stunning! Thank you for sharing her and for bringing our attention to what we were missing.

Billygoat In a general sense your definition works on two levels to prevent and on one to repair if possible. Before and during , If you have not or will not be willing to divulge it gives the opportunity to stop. After, if you are not willing to discuss then you believe you have. In addition, if damage has been done then your SO believes that you have. Their perception is all. The questions then are why and how? Why did it happen and How can the damage be repaired , if at all. The definition fails a bit in the particular sense. The trigger is always specific to the couple, in your example , how the other couple play by their mutual agreement. ( Are they "open" with a "don't ask, don't tell " clause in the agreement? ) If it is so then your definition works. No cheating was involved If it is not so, then there is work to be done. Only the other couple knows for certain. In either case the couple in the threesome are not culpable and may actually be victims. To avoid this type of scenario our personal rule would have one or the other of us calling the "sick" individual with sympathy and the offer of chicken soup, before any play took place. All in all though, your definition is true in all areas that it addresses and covers more areas than most. I cannot think of any way to edit it that would add and not subtract from it. Well done.

Totally fair. By "dangerously" there, I meant with a disregard for her needs and wishes - stated or implied. (The lede in that Guardian story mentions that when the wife slumped over, the husband "thought she was playing". In reality, if it wasn't an outright murder - a central point of your link is that many "sexual choking accidents" probably aren't - he likely was just thinking about his own orgasm instead of her condition and figured he had time to address it after.) I don't think it's implied in Anon321's post that his wife is specifically experimenting with a thrill from oxygen deprivation (maybe she does), as much as it freaks him out that she likes the dominance of hands on her neck. This is a valid fear. However, I am also aware that people can become addicted to oxygen deprivation and that's a bad road to go down. Either way, what I'm saying here, from the one time I experimented with this with a submissive woman at her request, is that not everyone realizes they're being deprived of oxygen and has a physiological alarm to warn them off of it. They may not know this about themselves, incorrectly believing their body will tell them to stop. Which is why I agree that it's always a bad idea, even with a trusting working relationship, but especially with a new partner trying to be edgy. I fundamentally agree with you, even if we have terminology differences.

Sorry CC =CL. I am happy that I did turn him down. He emailed me blaming me for not wanting to have fun. At first he wanted his wife to be involved and both couples could meet up and start flirting and maybe she would get on board if not we all would go our separate ways. He went from wanting her there to he didn't care and didn't want her involved at all. I agree with enhancer that he just wanted to cheat on his wife. I even told him I was more concerned more about his wife than he was.

Happens ALL OF THE TIME. Some (married) guy is looking for some fun and answers an ad with the full knowledge that his wife wouldn't ever consider swinging (even though he has never asked her about it). He finds another couple but suddenly his wife is unavailable...traveling, sick, uninterested, etc, but he is still available. Sure, he's tried to find couples that are looking for just a guy, but there are HUNDREDS of men looking to cheat on their wives (cheating isn't swinging and will never be) and get laid. Lets see, he's lying to his wife and lying to you as well...of course drama will soon be following. Kick him to the curb and move forward.

There is something in there that makes me admire both of you.

Your question is interesting to me. In our poly family we have an above average amount and variety of sex, but I no longer consider it swinging. So, nothing to report.

Your husband can try to see it differently, like the condoms make this all posible and to be able to enjoy other women. To see how lucky he is to have you and do this together. Yes, condoms are sometimes slowing things down and can take away some of the feeling. But it is a small detail in the greater picture. For instance I love to fuck my wife analy without a condom and switch right before I ejaculate and fill her cunt with my cum. But she will get ill from that so we don't. It is a hassle to remove the condom during switching but all worth it when I feel how I squirt in her. Sometimes you have to say: I know your point of view but this is how we are going to do it.

I forgot to mention above other times that might qualify as GB. Once three of us guys had sex with her twice in less than two hours. Six bangs, but only three guys = GB? That's the one she enjoyed the most. Once, two of us did her 5 times in about 18 hours, 3 times in the afternoon and evening and twice more in the morning. That's 10 for her. Is that a GB? Doesn't make much difference; we all loved it!

We didn't have fluffers at the gangbang that I posted about earlier. There were a number of couples there to watch but one of the rules was that they wouldn't play with the gangbang guys until after the gangbang. We didn't want their attention wandering elsewhere. After a while I found that a good rhythm was getting dp'd while doing oral on a third. The other guys just had to keep themselves entertained until it was their turn. I don't think any of them really minded but I did hear several of them tell the guys who were getting serviced that they wanted to cut in for a while. For the most part the guys were pretty cooperative with each other and it worked out.

On the other hand, what I found when trying to set one up was that (like most parties) only about 2/3 of those you invite show up. My first attempt at a GB, only one guy showed up... so not so much a gangbang. I think I had invited 4 or 5 (wanting to keep it right around that number). When I finally managed to do it later, I ended up with a few more guys that I really needed. By the third try I got it right and invited a couple of extra girls to help even things out. Fluffers are a necessity of any gangbang (that would be extra girls there to keep the guys hard and happy while they are waiting for their turn with you). I'm guessing the most any girl can really handle on her own without help is 4 (1 mouth, 2 hands, and 1 in either her pussy or her ass - but I don't see most women managing both of those and still handling the other 3). To answer the original question, how did I feel afterwards? a little sore, a little annoyed at the guy who got pissy because he had to wait his turn, but overall happy that I got to fulfill my fantasy.

Years ago, at a club, I had sex with four different guys, one after the other. I've got to say, after four, I was tired and sore but, I did have a smile on my face (that my husband teased me about the smile lasting too long).

I don't know if 5 qualifies as a gang bang, but my wife really enoyed it. All of the guys were fun and none of guys lasted so long that it became a problem. The cum from the previous guy was great lube. That is, there was no "ouch." One of my really good swinging friends told me that she did 21 once and loved it. All used condoms, she said. I wonder how she kept enough lube to keep from getting a little raw.

When I read this post to my Mrs, her first reaction (to the 12) was "ouch!". But she says she really enjoyed her first one too (as well as her 2nd)...and she only had 6 or 7. Of course, this brought up the subject of her wanting another one REALLY SOON. She also asked if you might being coming down toward Tucson... LOL