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Wow!! Our first time at a swingers club last night (Friday Australia time) and wow!!!! It was so much better than I could have imagined. Not even talking about sex, just the people, real people, people like us, people that you can be open with, can freely talk about sex with, can express your desires with, even if that desire is that I like you and want to be with you without judgment from your partner, their partner or people around you. It was totally refreshing. I think I’ve found my people. I was worried going in that people were going to be off in their groups with friends and it would be hard to break in but everyone was so welcoming. No-one was sleezy. I never felt any pressure. It could not have been a better night. We only played with one couple. A couple I guess, I don’t know if there’s different terminologies in the swinging scene, they come as a couple but are just friends with benefits. They approached us and it just felt right and soon enough we were heading to a room. The other guy had performance issues and soon left us alone, I wanted to finish it there but they both assured us we should continue. I am so glad we did. I cannot put into words how much of a turn on it was to watch my husband totally into her (and her into him). I’m sure no-one wants the details but I just want to say one thing, being in a 69 with her watching my husband penetrate her doggy was the single most erotic thing I have ever done in my life. We were so switched on to each other that we all came at the same time. I’m so happy how it worked out and how I now know my husband will participate. He was worried that I didn’t get to play with a guy but if every situation ends up like that one I will be the happiest woman alive. We exchanged phone numbers and she messaged to wish us a good morning and asked us out for “dinner and whatever happens afterwards” tonight. It’s quick but we couldn’t say no. I guess from what I’ve learned that there is no normal but does this sound too quick? Well I’m off the get my hair done, I don’t even have any nerves, I’m just so excited.

The use of condoms is a very serious topic that some people disregard at the moment it should be the biggest thought. How many high school girls have found themselves in a major problem because horniness overtook smart sex. You would think people get smarter with age, it doesn’t. We are guilty as not always going the smart route. When we meet people I have a goody bag with me, condoms, female condom(I’ve never used one), lubes in different flavors, dental dams, as well as several toys, and wipes. What is used from the bag varies, as I said the female condom has never been used. With curious women being the focus of our first meetings toys are used often. Almost every woman we met have used toys at home, some of my toys are much different from the typical vibe. I’m always looking for new and maybe kinkier toys to try out. I think there are some, a few women who have ever seen a dental dam, none have ever used one in sex. I think unscientifically half have used lubes and those who haven’t enjoy my selection of flavors. I can’t remember a woman who asked me to use protection when having oral done to her. There was one who asked if we could use the dam when she built up nerve which made us laugh because I had no idea how it worked. Sex with men the numbers change, oral sex maybe a quarter of the men will wear a condom, and the majority will if we have sex. The number of women insisting on condoms are higher. The numbers go down if we see couples over and over. I will agree it is logical to always use condoms, it’s just we don’t stick to logic.

I apologize if it has seemed that I was pushing too hard on some of this topic. I was really very interested in others thoughts. There are times when I suspect that I have too much belief in my own logic, and bouncing things around with others is a good check. These are all questions that we have asked ourselves about this subject. I find it reassuring that the responses thus far mostly run parallel to our own answers and concerns. The one point that I hadn't thought about, which lit a lightbulb, was EastInWest's comment "but the truth is that we are probably less active in terms of partners than many vanilla singles.". That observation probably holds true for many of us.

From Katrina: First, stick to the information you know, not suppositions that simply appear valid. In swinging, if one member of the couple becomes uncomfortable things stop and are reviewed until the marriage returns to being the primary focus. Lastly, sex is powerful, if you play on the edge of its your nose gets 'bloodied' once in a while. Lastly, you are never locked into agreeing to anything, ever. From Driver X: How can any of this be a surprise to you."My wife is taking a day with a guy she used to fuck. They fucked a lot and mostly as he cheated on his girlfriends. My wife LOVED the sex. In fact their recent new encounter was made to seem improvised yet may have been slightly planned or, at least came together far too easily, They're doing it once a week, now. What could go wrong ?" She's making plans and they don't include you. He knows what he's doing; he's done it for a very long time. He knows exactly how to get his cock, into your wife.