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Depends on if you wake up in the middle of this happening

I agree with him. Relax and enjoy new friends with knowing you are just meeting to get to know her. You’re not going to have sex, she may not be looking for anything more than lunch and book talk. Just because she said she went to a resort doesn’t mean she wants to jump into every person’s bed. You met her because of a book, not a sex site. Don’t overthink things, let her bring up the subject or her vacations stories, don’t push it. If things go further later on you will know if it’s right. Let me know if you want any advice, I’m always available 😄

We have never been to either of the two Desires. However, from talking to various people, some love Desire, others love Hedo. We are all entitled to our opinion. Experiences may vary depending on the group, who you meet, the weather, etc. While there are comments online about single males at Hedo, honestly it is mostly couples. We personally have never had any bad experiences with single males at Hedo. Most everyone you meet there is very respectful. Of course, there can always be exceptions. There is never any pressure for public sex or random hook ups at Hedo, but opportunities exist to do pretty much want you are into sexually there. There are 280 rooms at Hedo, so it is hard to say what may go on behind closed doors, but in 22 trips, I have not witnessed male gay activity in public. You can make a vacation to Hedo whatever you want it to be. You can sit on the clothing optional beach in your swimming suit and read novels on your iPad. Or, you can get naked, party like a rock star, and engage in whatever sexual activity you choose. Depending on the groups that are there, you may see oral sex by the pools or hot tubs, but intercourse is mostly in the rooms or playrooms. As I mentioned above, the best part of Hedo in my opinion is the awesome people you meet there. As they say, "Once you go you know".

There was topic the other day about what to do with all there swinging photos/videos. Well this past Christmas holiday my husband got himself a new computer, he follow the basic installation. while installing he installed OneDrive. A few days later our daughter saw a new icon on her laptop with the OneDrive icon and saw us in one of are "parties" from 2016. Hubby didn't realize he put it in shared mode. She kinda freak out and call us to her room and explain ourselves and what we are doing. At that point since the cat is out of the bag, we told her the truth and about us and our lifestyle and what we have done. She was asking us a whole lot of questions and we were honest to all her questions. During all this confession, our daughter told us that she is bi too, only since June 2021, and told us her first time happen in a foursome with her ex bf at the time and her bff and her bf in a after school prom party. During the Covid lock down she felt bored and wishes to try new stuff. So with her friends and all four agree to try something new and try the foursome. She told us that she like the experience and she and them continued to have experience with three and four some till my daughter broke up with her bf ( for other reason) and she continued to have threesome with her bff and bf ever once and a while. Recently she ask us that she wanted to try it and become a swinger and see what it was like. She ask us if it ok with us to take her to 1 of our local clubs for her 19 birthday in March (legal age where we are from) and (if there no other delay in opening thing open up). It was something we did not expect to be ask from her. I was speechless for the first time in a long time. I did not know how to answer her. I know I need to give her answer soon. I know I can not keep dodging the question and I need to answer her soon. We haven't told any of our swingers friends about her and her request . She the oldest of all our swingers friends who have kids. We never really talk about it, our kids life, We do not know if any of our swingers friends haved shared their personal life to there own kids. We know our daughter is adult, gonna be 19 in March, old enough to make her own choices in life. We trust her judgment. If we do not give her our blessing we don't how she will react, she might go off and go own her own without any real knowledge of the people she hang out with. And if we do give our blessings we know that she will be safe with people and places that we know and we can give her the best advice we can. We are aware that if we do give our blessings there a good chance that she might be "playing" with are swingers friends. And we are ok with that. It all part of the Swinger lifestyle. Different people, different ages, everyone there having a good time. Our question to you all is, how do we proceed, do we give her our blessings or not. Any parents here that had similar situation happen to them. And any people here who has swingers parents ? what was it like knowing that your parents were swingers. What was it like knowing the truth about them. Thank you for your time in reading this long text. And thanks in advance for the replies.

Thank you for the information on the resorts it will give me a better idea when I meet with her. I don’t want to enjoy all that yet. All of the places sound wild and a great time if and when we are ready for it. I don’t even know how I will be with one new person and there there will be hundreds. My new friend was nice when I met her, I have to see how she will be in a different setting and then there is her husband I have no idea what he is like or looks like. Last night she contacted me to have lunch one day this week. Rocky says I should go and enjoy a lunch, not obsess over where things are going.

We’ve been to Desire RM, Desire Pearl and Hedo. Enjoyed all 3. We would be hesitant to go to the Desires soon, due to drug cartel killings. I understand the disputes are over competition over drug deliveries to North American tourists. Sorta like Uber Eats vs. Door Dash.

Hedonism II is a beautiful resort in Negril, Jamaica, known as Hedo to many who have been there. My wife and I have been there 22 times, with trip # 23 coming up in a couple weeks. There is lots of info available online about it. I would recommend a Facebook group with thousands of members as a place to read about it, ask questions, and get answers called "Our Favorite Jamaican Vacation Place". There is also a great book available on Amazon entitled "The Naked Truth About Hedonism II", with lots of great stories. Hedo is all-inclusive, with all food, alcohol, entertainment, water sports, etc. included in the price. There is no tipping. The only things you pay for are massages and other spa services or what you might want to buy at the gift shop. You can scuba every day for free if you are trained, or get trained there. The food is excellent, with several restaurants and a buffet. You can kayak on the bay or take a Hobie cat out, or the water sports staff will take you for a ride if you prefer. Hedo has a clothing optional beach where you can wear a swimming suit or be topless or be naked, and a nude beach where nudity is required. There are several pools and hot tubs around the property. I could talk for hours about Hedo, but you really need to experience it for yourself. However, the best part of Hedo is the people you meet there. There are all ages, all shapes, all sizes, from all over the planet, and they are the nicest, friendliest, most non-judgmental people you can find anywhere. The staff at Hedo is second to none. If you go to hedonism.com and click on group events, there is a listing of all the groups and what week they will be there. Some are more nudists, some are more swingers, some are older, some are younger. Pick the one you like who will be there when you want to go and book with a group. There are many definitions of the lifestyle, some people like to watch, some like to be watched, some like to play with another couple, some like to play with another guy or another girl. There is an opportunity at Hedo to do whatever you want. However, "No always means no", so no worries. The biggest problem with Hedo is that once you go, you will have the best vacation of your life and keep wanting to go back again and again. Good luck!

Unfortunately the world is full of hate, lies, and very judgmental. I’m a pragmatist and understand the real life and what people say. I can only wonder what people I know would think if they knew how close I’ve become to my friend. She is the only one who I’m close enough to tell my real feelings. I trust her enough to be with my husband, I told her I was with a woman which led us to be together too. I’m looking forward to meeting with my new friend and being truthful to her. It will be hard to be open, my ingrained fear of being outed in my community. I have to have trust in a stranger.

I wonder what the world would be like if everyone truly opened up their hearts, spoke their truth, and shared their lives honestly, no judgement, no fear. It seems to me that this is a great time and place to do just that. How wonderful to start a relationship with others in complete honesty and openness. Do what is comfortable and I hope they become life long friends.

Have drinks, ask questions, learn about the lifestyle. You could just be a curious person, fascinated by others choices. You don't need to disclose or commit to anything other than an interest in what a lifestyle resort is, what type of folks attend, what goes on there, etc. They may ask how you heard of Hedo - which you should have an answer for without going deeper. It's hard to get outed if all you've done is had drinks with 2 book club ladies.

When we went on a vanilla cruise with a lifestyle group, we were asked to bring pineapple decorated shirts so we could pick each other out.

They might be reading these posts as well! I think it's great that they were open with you and are inviting you into their circle. It seems to me that they are cautious and respectful with others in the group and that is a positive. For some reason, they felt a good vibe from you and opened up. I'm guessing they will continue to be careful with their conversations. If it was us, we'd join for drinks, maintain a bit of reserve and see what unfolds. Could be the best connection you'll make all year. Enjoy.

No lol. The group is not sexually oriented, mostly socially forward readings. This was a Sci-fi best seller, Hail Mary. It was the first in person get together, more of a social time, less book talk. What were the odds when I asked where she got a tan she would be open to saying a Lifestyle resort. I was expecting Mexico or an Island. Most of the women are older with grandkids, she and her friend are closer to my age, maybe younger. I was wondering if she said lifestyle for shock value to see how I would respond. I think I tried not to blush or show a major uncomfortable look.

I'm more interested in what books they are reading...sounds like it could be a fun club! The Ethical Slut? The Swingers Manual (written by our founder: JustAskJulie)?

Innocent decoration...unless they have a bunch of white landscape rock with papas grass and a box of Tide in the window. If swingers are not sure what the secret symbol is, then how is anyone else supposed to know. And then, if everyone knew what the secret symbol is, then it's not a secret anymore (see: rainbow for the LGBTQ).

ROCKlandCPL, this may turn out to be a most fortuitous connection. In my opinion you are being wise taking a slow approach to opening up about your own lifestyle status. You’ve met these women in a valued vanilla context; once you’ve disclosed this aspect of your life, you can’t undisclose it.

Really unusual - and yet obvious - situation. I do tend to think it's pretty fraught for you to be even adjacent to her own exploration. I would also have concerns about someone at 19 being taken advantage of attempting this solo, although also, being slightly taken advantage of can - in some ways - just be part of learning and growing up even for vanilla people. Arm's length advice on questions she wants answers to might be the best way to approach this, without demonstrating too much interest. I can certainly understand her curiosity about seeing the club, but maybe if you want to introduce her to what that side of your lives are like, setting a hard boundary that it's purely a social outing to learn and not to experiment or meet partners just yet? I will say that we are both on Tinder and I am approximately 40, Mrs. E is approximately 50. We both get regular attempts from undergraduate students. We both agree that anyone we couldn't order drinks with in a cocktail lounge is just too young, even if it seems like we might have kinks or vanilla interests in common. Perhaps she could explore Fetlife or similar to meet people who are close to her age group and have some experiences to talk about - without any expectations of them being potential partner, but just people who understand where she's coming from. You could be valuable mentors, including on the oh-so-important topic of opsec.

My husband wanted (and was granted) an open relationship. This still makes me terribly jealous and afraid, but I understand that these are MY emotions, and I am trying to work through them. He has slept with a close friend of mine twice, and I know that he is only in that for the sex, and is not at all in love with her. She is also only in it for the sex, and is absolutely open about anything that I want to know. I am still struggling mightly, but I know this about MY insecurities, not theirs. I also firmly believe in my rational mind that monogamy is a social construct that isn't necessary....and would like to be as emotionally accepting as I am logically accepting. He desperately wants a threesome with me and another woman, which he has had in a prior relationship, and apparently is his favorite thing. He constantly reminds me that he is open to anything I want to try....but I don't know that I want anything yet.....or ever. He is offering to swing....and take me to parties or a resort so I could even just look around and experience the atmosphere. I honestly feel like he is pushing, but I also don't like being afraid of things, so I am tempted to go just to challenge my fears. I am nervous about ANY additional sexual encounters. I am not a sexually adventurous person, and many of my prior experiences with sex have been negative (aka. men trying to force me to do things I didn't want to, including an attempted rape when I was VERY young, which was foiled when I seriously injured the primary offender). I don't have a significant desire to sleep with anyone else....I am vaguely curious, but terrified to even think about it. I don't fantasize about sleeping with other people because I can't manage to trust anyone I don't know fairly well. My friend also tells me I may be demi-sexual....which might explain why I am rarely physically attracted to another person until I get to know them. I am always tense and nervous during my first sexual encounters....which makes orgasm unlikely, and sometimes even makes things painful. It sounds amazing though...the idea that people can be so open and free, and the idea that it could just be "playtime". But I dread the idea of the possible shame, pain, and other emotional stress I am not sure I can handle. I would love to talk to a therapist about it....but they are terribly expensive, and I don't know that my insurance will cover the cost of finding one that won't be judgemental and has ANY clue of how to help someone through this situation. I am in a very rural area and people here would DEFINITELY judge, so I'd have to do something online....which is available, but probably not covered. I want my husband to be happy, and I don't particularly like being afraid, but I am already struggling with my emotions regarding the open relationship. I am a fairly large adrenaline junkie in the remainder of my life, so this surprises everyone who finds out about it. Can you go to a party or a resort and just bluntly tell people no if you only want to hang out? Is there a place I could go and learn safely without being pressured to do anything? Any words of wisdom? Advice? I want to be better than I am about this.

So this weekend was our first* time swinging. *not actually our first as we’ve had a couple of other encounters but this was our first organised time at a club. I was nervous, worried, obviously excited, but all the fears were wiped away within the first half an hour. I found my people ! I honestly feel that way. They are so honest, so genuine, so welcoming. I mean I love my friends and family but there’s just no way I could be open to them about swinging, or even just sex for hat matter. Just the ease and honesty of conversation was so refreshing, one conversation was about anal sex, I’m a big fan, we talked, we laughed, we shared stories, no judgment, to jealousy, it was simply incredible. If I dared raise anal sex with my friends and think they’d giggle and shut the conversation down. I love the openness with these people. See, I love this lifestyle, these people, and I haven’t even mentioned the sex yet because everything else was just, well it was just perfect. And yes we did hook up with someone and yes it was great, and yes we met them privately again the next day, and yes that was even better. But this whole weekend was about more than just the sex, it was about the people, it was about how my husband and I, after I had doubts, connected on such an incredible level. I’d love one day to write a detailed diary entry about this weekend as it’s something I’ll never forget or regret. It’s the start of a new chapter, the start of a chapter where we can be who we are and not have to temper that to pander to friends. I still love my friends and I guess at the end of the day we’ll have to tone things down around them but my new friends, all of them, have given us such a gift by allowing us be us essentially. I can’t wait until next time.

I believe if your a adrenalin junkie. you will love it. your just afraid if losing control and being judge. reality is you will get more attention than your husband , so hope he likes watching you get pleasured

Thank you for all the encouraging posts, am I supposed to keep posting how things are? They are pretty pretty pretty good. Back to our first time, the more I read, the more we talked, the more we laughed, the more perfect our first time was, FaceTime only added to the memory. Debbie not climaxing did not take away from her funness, she reminded me she just doesn’t every time we have sex, not letting go might have contributed even if she said it didn’t. I know she said at the time she was uptight, memories have a way of mellowing. Today was a new day, a day after a day we only tried to plan our first next time. A day where Debbie did climax with someone other than the man she is surly comfortable with and never reluctant to be with except when she is, and I know when not to even try. Our kids surprised us this morning while having breakfast. We were enjoying our host’s hospitality with a great hotel style breakfast. Debbie and I were in our best visiting breakfast outfits, Sweats. Our hosts were in similar outfits, maybe a little fancier The “kids” were dressed and ready to go somewhere, ice skating with other friends. Our friends got the details from their son that they would be gone and most likely would be home for dinner. Hours without our kids!!! I don’t know who was the most excited, Debbie was. Like I wasn’t. Once the car was gone, it didn’t take long before chapter 2. Sex in the morning in bright daylight, seeing nude bodies in full light is much different from the light of a Christmas Tree. Even I could me shy in full light. Yeah I read about the woman who didn’t like her imperfections, men have feelings too. Yeah I got over it fast. In daylight you also get to see your spouse with a friend in a different light doing things I only saw in shadows two days before. I will say it was interesting even if she could see me with our very willing friend. I suggested strip poker, was reminded I had no clothes to lose, we were already passed getting out of clothes. What happened next was fun, nervous fun, I a can be a jokester. Pancake syrup was a part of the fun. Guess it is better than turkey gravy if this happened after dinner. My friends are seasoned swingers, I could understand why both would be prized at any gathering. I always thought of myself as a “stud”, Debbie tells me that frequently. Not bragging but I think I can go for awhile, two minutes at least, just kidding. Between what we were doing, and watching what that other couple was doing, is that really Debbie doing that, laughing, joking and doing whatever, it had to be close to a few hours, it did seem long, when we got to real business. I would say we were going strong and so was that other couple. I think I was pretty good holding out and then I heard all those porn sounds, wondering where it was coming from, and then I knew it was the right time to be in sync. No not the boy band. At that point I was able to watch, in full light my dearest sweetheart was doing. This man was a machine and Debbie who claimed not have climaxed that first time, couldn’t say that again. I know, she can’t fake that with me, right, I know when she fakes, right, yes I can tell. They finally finished Debbie seemed exhausted. I sure was just watching all the positions they were in. So now I’m posting while everyone is watching football. We had plans for tonight to go to a restaurant that canceled our reservation. We are pretty sure it’s Covid related. Two couples we were supposed to be with tomorrow are both sick, waiting on test results, it won’t make a difference, they are sick. Me thinks we will be staying in tomorrow night watching Ryan Seacrest, joking about balls dropping. The second chapter is finished and this book is interesting. Am I supposed to continue play by play or blow by blow, I see some on here are posting daily. Right now I will say Good Night.

To quickly finish my post without all elaborations. What made it not perfect was our daughter FaceTimed us from a Holiday light exhibit she went to. I was able to get a shirt on before answering. We all think I pulled off the idea we were just sitting around talking. It did lend to laughs as we restarted what we didn’t finish. I worried about Floppy Joe and said don’t fail me now. I did get a straight up Joe quickly. Another imperfect part was Debbie didn’t climax even with a very long session even with the interruption. To me I thought he had her all the way there. She told me privately that it was fun and she would do it again. Yeah she almost had the climax, I almost blame myself, she said she held back her enjoyment due to nerves. I could understand the nerves, I felt the same. I think my partner climaxed, maybe a few times. The after private time we talked. Debbie asked me what was the most difficult thing, honest watching her fall fellating him and she gave an agreeing scream, the oral sex was what she couldn’t watch too. Maybe next time will be more perfect.