Leaderboard

One more thought, concerning her feeling desirable. Many couples going through the parenting phase start to treat each other as furniture rather than lovers. Perhaps one assumes, and is consumed by, the breadwinner role and the other the nurturer. The dinners that are left on the stove while passion takes hold are replaced by needing to eat so that homework and bedtime are accomplished so that early rising and making it to school and work can be accomplished, day after day. Date nights are often skipped over as a concept. If the kids are old enough to be left to their own devices for a few hours, then one grabbing the other for an intensive romp in the hay on a frequent basis may relieve some of her self doubt. It is a good feeling to have your partner overcome with lust for you. Saying she is desirable and demonstrating it often are very different things. One of the benefits of the LS, for us as a couple, is that I am reminded to keep upping my game with my wife even after 40 years. This may not be where you as a couple are, but it is worth looking at.

One of the cardinal rules of swinging is to *never* go faster than the speed of the slower partner. It’s clear that your wife is far more eager to swap than you are … she needs to dial it back until you’re both ready because if what you’re describing now actually happens, it’s gonna be a train wreck. We agree with njbm … go to the club, soak in the atmosphere, meet a few people, have sex with only each other, and talk about the evening after you’re home and have had some time to process your thoughts.

UNDRESSING YOUR SPOUSE……. Has anyone undressed their spouse before graciously offering her to a new partner for the evening? We were invited to a party by our neighbors. Will our neighbor who we rarely spoke with suggested Ana, and I come to their party. We had an no idea what their party was about, and I asked Ana if she was interested in going, and she said yes. At the party there were strong sexual vibes. There were several couples we knew as white bread friends but that all changed once we were at the party. It was exciting and eye opening. The lovely ladies of the neighborhood who I would see daily and chat with while thinking in my head about having in them in bed suddenly were a real possibility. Well to keep this short, after chatting awhile and getting to know them I notice Will and Ana chatting it up. Will’s wife Leah came over and asked if Ana and I would like to go upstairs to see the city view. I said I would and suggested we ask Will and Ana. Leah said I am sure Will would love to so let’s check in with Ana. We brought Ana and Will a glass of wine and the four of us toasted the party. Leah suggested we go upstairs and see the view of the city from their bedroom suite. Ana agreed, and we proceeded up to the room. When in the room we glanced at the view which was beautiful. Ana was next to me and Leah next to Will. Will kiss Leah and I in turned and kissed Ana. We all felt the moment. I asked Ana if I could undress her for Will and she nodded. As I started undressing Ana Will said to Leah can I undress you for our friend and Leah started unbuttoning her blouse. We stood their taking our spouses clothes off very slowly. The ladies just stood their looking extremely hot and beautiful. When Ana’s pants and under garment came off, I put Ana’s fingers in her vigia with mine and we licked them and offered Will a taste. He licked Ana’s fingers. He reciprocated by offering a taste of Leah. The four of us hugged and kissed and the ladies got in bed. Heads on the pillows and legs open inviting Will and I to further taste these luscious women. Ana and I had never done this before and suddenly, I was laying with my face in-between Leah’s legs and Ana in the same position next to me with Will licking her vigia. As I was kissing and sucking Leah, I could hear Ana so close to me enjoying each moment. I heard her moans that were so familiar to me, and she was moving and cuming right next to me with someone else. I enjoyed the feelings. Leah was loving the moment as well and was pressing here wet pussy into my face harder and harder, and she began closing her legs around my head squeezing them tightly together and then suddenly stopped pushing my face into her wet thighs. There was a hush moment and Will and I both moved up to kiss these hot beautiful women and from there on we just went at it for quite a while. At one point Ana climbed over to me and kissed me deep and sat on my rock had cock and kept moving on me then moved to Will and Leah took me over. We stayed together for a while like we knew each other for years. What an incredible evening.

What NC Seniors said. Never go faster than the speed of the slowest partner. Second, set your rules and limits before you get there and DO NOT CHANGE THEM until the two of you can talk about them outside of a sexual situation. In other words, the first visit is ONLY a visit to get the lay of the land. The two of you can have sex with each other, but nothing else the first visit. The next day you can discuss the experience and decide where (or even if) you want to go from there. If you both agree to move forward, and you feel uncomfortable being separated, then that becomes the next rule you institute. Swinging together is more the norm than the exception and most couples will want to do the same. It's exciting watching your partner enjoying themself with someone else which is why most couples do this. Under the 'never go faster' rule, this now becomes your next step since you (and most other couples) prefer same room sex to separate room. Maybe, later on, you might become comfortable with the idea and you can then change that rule at that time. As to why she wants separate rooms...this is only a guess, but it sounds like she wants to not worry about 'hurting' your feelings by letting herself go. This is something that you both need to talk about more. Would it hurt you if she lost control, acted like a slut, had mind blowing orgasms...or would you be happier knowing you were allowing her this experience? Is it harder for the man to find a partner: yes. That's why most couples swing together. Swinging is a team sport...something that you do together (and neither of you should wander off just because they found someone interested in them). Adding another general rule here: NEVER take one for the team. If you both are not interested in another couple, then keep looking. Doesn't matter why one of you isn't interested. If one of you says 'pass', then you both are saying 'pass'. No explanation necessary, and while it can be hard to find the 'perfect' couple that you both like, there are still plenty of other couples out there, and when you do find that one couple...it's worth the wait. As for your wife's feelings, this is rather common. For the last XX years, she has been a MOM. It can be hard for a woman to feel sexy, wanted, and desirable again (even if they are still sexy, wanted and desirable). And what you think doesn't count because your opinion is already suspect. You 'have to' say that she is desirable. Maybe start slow...post some photos of her in the photos section here, or at one of the many 'hot or not' photo sites and get outside opinions for her (they don't have to include her face for her privacy). It sounds like she is just trying to find that she is more than 'just a mom' as she gets closer to the kid(s) leaving. Once the kids go, what happens to the mom that is left behind? It sounds like she is just trying to find out what happens then. Why is it that women don't understand that being a MILF is super hot to most men? Anyways, more things for you to both talk about. Let us know how things are going and know that we are all here to help.

Here is something to think about. How about going to a club the first time just to observe and have sex with each other? While in the setting, one or both of you may feel very comfortable or uncomfortable. If you are both comfortable, you can try swapping or , if not, you can try another trip to the club. Some couples, I’d say the majority, play in close proximity to each other. I think that playing apart or in separate rooms is more for people with a little experience. If your wife seems open to sex and she is not close by you in a club, she could be a gang bang candidate if single guys are permitted. This could be a little overwhelming for a novice. Have some ground rules that you both agree to. Use condoms. If you are under 45, be vaccinated for HPV. It is a multi-shot series.

Hi, Caveat: I have talked about all the issues below with my wife constructively but not conclusively. I have tried finding info online on boards/articles/... but most are written from the female perspective (yey male privilege) so it's hard for me to reflect on my feelings and how to handle them. I like to rely on other people's experiences in order to feel prepared (in any situation). It would be very helpful to me if anyone has gone through the same process with similar feelings. My wife and I have been together for 14+ years since we were 18-19 years old, we are still eachothers first. We have always been curious about sex with other people and even relationships (what if?). We both regret not having more experience, but I guess swinging could solve this Me and my wife are planning to go for our first swinging experience (in a club) a visit has been booked. My wife is the driving force behind this exploration. I find the idea/fantasy very exciting but I know, rationally, the actual act will be difficult for me. My question is two-part. One part is practical other part is more emotional, though both are somewhat interlinked. I know most of these issues are going to depend on what has been discussed with your partner beforehand. Nevertheless it can't hurt to know what is 'usual'. Practical: What is considered the 'mainstream' way of handling your first attempt(s) at a swinger club. Fundamentally: Do couples usually seperate into another room with their chosen partner or does everyone stay together? What would you recommend? It would seem most couples stay together but my wife doesn't seem very open to that idea. I find it important to feel involved. Is partnerswap the usual way or do most people find someone random. Emotional: I recognise some of my feelings in what I found online (female experiences). I'm very afraid of being left behind. My wife has stated that she is seeking admiration/feeling wanted by other men. To me this signals she will actively hunt for it when we're there. It would seem most men would be superhappy because of this. It seems the women are, according to the internet, generally less excited about the whole experience. So an enthousiastic partner should make the whole experience smoother. I'm afraid it will be harder for me (as a man) to find a partner. Whilst it will be very easy for her, as a woman, to find an nterested male. As such I'm afraid she will find an interesting partner fast and go seclude herself in a room, while i'm left behind having a drink, doing.. what? I realise this is also a self-confidence issue on my part. I know I'm not ugly and I generally get the idea women find me attractive or at least a lot of fun to be around but i'm not supersecure about it. My wife seems to think it's almost impossible that it could be the other way around (there will be men attracted to her but maybe she won't be attracted to them). She doesn't seem to think much of being 'left behind' anyway. I still want to go to enjoy the atmosphere, meet new people etc etc I just don't want to feel left behind. Second emotional question: I feel my wife has a lot riding on this exploration. I'm afraid she will be disappointed for whatever reason. Either bad sex, or not finding a partner, or in the end not being able to coop seeing me with someone else (doesn't seem like it but who knows untill it happens?). Our relationship has been stable for a long time but my wife has been episodically emotionally troubled since we have had our children. She wants to feel attractive (she is) and seeks confirmation wherever she can find it. She has put having sex with someone else as an absolute goal that will make her feel wanted/ more than just a wife/mother/... . I know that, partly, swinging can be a big ego boost for all sorts of reasons. But if the experience isn't what she expected i'm afraid it might push her into a depression, and I don't know how to coop with that. She has made clear she needs to try this to feel truely happy/free/herself but I'm not sure she will find what she's looking for in swinging.

Observation is a good idea. If not ,then same room, whether or not each of you has a partner. One of our first experiences was an MFM. That worked out well. We also limited ourselves to soft swap initially. Slow and steady. is a good formula for us and , I think , most others.

150 is probably on the higher end for most people, so yes a lot. BUT to many? who's to say? I suspect she would have a really clear picture of what she likes and dislikes. If she can bring that to the table and help her partner understand how to best service her, then more power to her. I'd classify that as 'experienced'. Undatable - not in my book Unmarriable - not in my book You go girl!

I agree with him. Relax and enjoy new friends with knowing you are just meeting to get to know her. You’re not going to have sex, she may not be looking for anything more than lunch and book talk. Just because she said she went to a resort doesn’t mean she wants to jump into every person’s bed. You met her because of a book, not a sex site. Don’t overthink things, let her bring up the subject or her vacations stories, don’t push it. If things go further later on you will know if it’s right. Let me know if you want any advice, I’m always available 😄

It turns me on to see two guys fucking on video, but I've never seen it in real life. I've also never inserted Pet into that fantasy because I know it's something he would never do. Now, if he ever fulfilled my fantasy of seeing him suck a dick... then my new fantasy might be to see him fucking another guy.