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Disclaimer: We are not swingers, but have been exploring getting into the LS if we meet the right people. There is a couple we are friendly with and recently at a do at their house. The guy is good looking and is know to be a bit of a player based on pics he frequently posts, with and without his wife. We were in a room with him and the topic turned to sexual freedom (not sure how). He showed us some of his sexy things (won't go into details about what they were, not important). Rest of the evening I caught him looking my wife up and down, (I call it the "fucking with eye" look, and I have seen many guys do that with her, see our albums to understand why). Later when we reached home I brought it up and teased her if I should call him in for an MFM threesome. She told me that she had danced with him at parties and he was just short of being handsy. I put my hands down there and realized she was soaking wet. We pillow talked about gangbanging her with this guy and some our friends, as we made love. We are not going to proceed (because this is within a group of friends and things can get messy) but her reaction was interesting nonetheless

Love Reddit. Even subscribe to r/swingers. But we wouldn't meet anyone from there at all. Reason? Too many picture collectors. Your best bet is a paid membership in one of the swinger websites. Check each of them out (the major ones sponsor parts of this website), and figure out which ones best serve your area -- it really depends where you are: some areas prefer SLS, some Kasidie, other areas are best served by SDC. Of course, pay only after you figure out which one is best for you. Then search other paid members. Seriously: paid membership really does weed-out the flakes.

Vitamin V. Works everytime.

Our first try, he could not keep it up with the condom. Worked the next day.

The use of condoms is always a relevant topic in the lifestyle. As was pointed out earlier, there is no such thing as having safe sex in the lifestyle. Swinging is, by definition, a risky behavior. However, that risk can be mitigated. How? Unfortunately, we believe many people start this discussion with asking the wrong question. Here's the way we approached it: What steps can we take to mitigate the potential of being exposed, or exposing someone else, to an STD/STI or similar disease? We *strongly* suggest discussing this with your respective doctor prior to engaging in any lifestyle activity. We did and it was eye-opening. And we continue to discuss it, every year, during our annual check-ups. What level of risk are we reasonably willing to accept? If one is not willing to accept at least some level of risk, they should not engage in the lifestyle. What steps are we reasonably willing to take to mitigate the risks? We arrived at the conclusion that the best course of action for us is to use a layered approach as follows: Group? Closed. Number of partners? Small. History of highly risky behavior (i.e., use of illicit drugs, sex with prostitutes, bisexual males, anonymous sex, etc.) among the partners? None reported* Regular testing? Without exception. Condoms? Every time, with the exception of sex between spouses or their partners/significant others. We realize not everyone is willing to take all of these steps. However, this approach works for us and is no big deal. It's easy to dismiss risks when you're 30 years-old, your dick is harder than quantum physics, and your life seems like it will go on forever. In time, your perspective changes. Frankly, as we have grown older and our own mortality and the general frailty of human life becomes more obvious, caring for our own health and the health of our those in our circle of partners, has never been more important. *It's an Honor System. No way to be certain if someone is telling the truth, lying, or simply does not remember that long ago Saturday night with the two strippers in Tijuana.

Yep covid vaccine and hpv vaccine are our conditions for future partners. Which surely cuts the number of potential partners. However as we are mostly looking for single males these days there's still far more out there interested than there is time to simply message them much less hook up with all of them. 😆 Those conditions + a recent STI test and we're good to go bareback. The completely random hookup scenario where a flavored condom or a dental dam may be called for with oral is likely just a scenario we wouldn't engage in(anymore).

I do have performance difficulties with condoms. Viagra and Trojan Double Ecstasy (lubed inside and outside) greatly help. But I feel the pain of men whose performance is impaired by condoms. But one doesn’t want warts and/or sores on one’s pecker.

I'd say good call not hooking up with a friend. If the idea of an MFM is a turn on for you and your Mrs. then join a swinger's site like SLS or Kasidie and put your intentions out there. Once you get a short list of qualified candidates set up some Zoom meets and see if there is real chemistry. It's fun!