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We recently received a private message that was very insightful and thoughtful that got Rocky and I talking, which led to less talking and more having fun. What are we looking for in a couple if we decide to increase our current situation. Currently we are only swinging with a friend and if the situation is right, the first couple we met. In our initial search we went the way many others have gone, joining an online search. We originally excluded couples because we were looking for the perfect woman. We extended our criteria to include couples with bi women which gave us a good number, we narrowed by age and location. Being the wide range of people we continued to narrow on physical attraction, an extremely subjective choice. We read profiles excluding those that were ridiculous or offensive. Penis or spread crotch pictures were excluded. It was difficult trying to match with any other attraction we would want, similar thinking or philosophy, sense of humor or any of the attractions people have when making new friends. How could we be intimate with someone we wouldn’t want to have dinner with. Of course physical attraction is not that important when meeting new people and new friendships. Physical attraction was The Primary connection in this search. The couple we did meet were not models, they were attractive in what we called Normal Looking. I know that sounds foolish, normal people come in all shapes and colors. Our second couple were already friends, we had no problem knowing who they were as humans. We aren’t ready to go to lifestyle events to meet new people where you can get to know someone before going forward. Even if we would go to a lifestyle resort I’m thinking I would most likely strike a conversation with those who I would think are physically attracted to. Then I think how shallow that is, we aren’t perfect, our group of friends come in those already mentioned shapes and sizes. Can I have sex with someone and close my eyes to physical attributes?

Good question to think about. I can’t say we have any rules we purposely follow. True swinging get togethers we look to people we can relate to, Michael tends to make friends with people first, most likely subconsciously attracts him to a type. He will sometimes have full on conversations before knowing who the spouse or girlfriend is. I sometimes think he is finding out about a man for my benefit. We never go to parties not knowing someone there, our safety valve, the people we will start off with if we don’t immediately connect with others. Because we do try to meet new people I try to be open to men I wouldn’t pick out as the best looking or best body. At one party we started talking to a way overweight couple, both most likely never saw a gym. We have had plenty of similar examples of not selecting playmates based on first look. We also enjoy meeting unsuspecting people. If I am looking for a businessman alone at a bar, I am looking for someone I think will be willing. Most men think I’m an escort when I approach, I don’t want to scare them. I could write a book. It’s hard to describe what goes into my head when I find a man I will target. I at times will fantasize an entire night in my mind before even approaching. Actual events hardly ever match my mind game. The majority of men I approach never go with me. Michael has a way of finding couples at hotel bars. It’s his sixth sense. Not always correct. He plays the game of finding what he thinks are adulterers, men with girlfriends they meet up. It is never easy finding a couple in a hotel bar willing to join us but we have met some great people and surprisingly Mike is pretty good at finding cheaters. If I am looking for a quick find at or after an event like a football game I seek younger than us guys, not drunk, decent looking who are well kept. Guys should be fun loving and not gross and disrespectful. I only have a short time to pick someone knowing this will be a one time thing. Looks count, intelligence not so much. I have made mistakes, luckily not enough to stop us from doing it again.

Lololol why yes she would!

But would your wife do her?

LoL we do the same thing! My favorite thing to whisper to my wife is "I'd do her" same goes for someone on TV.

When ever we travel and have time in an airport or other public place with lots of traffic, we play a game. We call is maybe, maybe not, hope not. This is where we point out couples to each other and guess if they are or are not in the lifestyle.

If the girl is checking on me and her partner seems content about it, "DING, DING, DING, we have a winner"