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You are looking for a unicorn (single woman in the L/S)...actually a golden unicorn, a single bi sexual woman. They are called unicorns since they are about as common as a unicorn...but they are out there. Usually it is just easier to find another couple that understand what you are looking for (just F/F). That is much easier to find, especially if you attend a swingers club. Just be up front of what you are looking for and don't take it personally if a couple passes on you. As Idahocouple pointed out: swinging is a magnifying glass. It will make a great relationship even greater, but if there is damage already there...cracks in the relationship, it can make them much worse. Just keep the communication going and set your limits and rules (and never violate them...you can always change them at a later time, but never violate the trust between the two of you) and most people will do just fine. I think that you will find that most of us are rather kind. Good luck and let us know how things are going!

I gave my first blowjob yesterday. A long time acquaintance of mine suggested it, and we did a 69 while my wife watched. We usually play a bit of music in our room but it was silent and all you could hear was the slurping lol. It was embarrassing how fast and hard I came when I started sucking his dick. I was worried about how I would feel after I came, but it was honestly fine (and he swallowed which was awesome). I sucked his cock for about four minutes until he finished. Smell is a big thing for me, and luckily this guy always smells good. I have smelt guys that left something to be desired in that area but never close up. I do however like the smell of a female (even if she has BO going on) but I don't think I could deal with that giving head to a guy. Anyways, I am unsure if it is something I want to do more of...

We started before we got married. I was sure to disclose that I was interested in bi swinging fun relatively early in the relationship as I didn't want that to just end up being a point of strife years later. Worked out well and we've been together 23 years.

We recently received a private message that was very insightful and thoughtful that got Rocky and I talking, which led to less talking and more having fun. What are we looking for in a couple if we decide to increase our current situation. Currently we are only swinging with a friend and if the situation is right, the first couple we met. In our initial search we went the way many others have gone, joining an online search. We originally excluded couples because we were looking for the perfect woman. We extended our criteria to include couples with bi women which gave us a good number, we narrowed by age and location. Being the wide range of people we continued to narrow on physical attraction, an extremely subjective choice. We read profiles excluding those that were ridiculous or offensive. Penis or spread crotch pictures were excluded. It was difficult trying to match with any other attraction we would want, similar thinking or philosophy, sense of humor or any of the attractions people have when making new friends. How could we be intimate with someone we wouldn’t want to have dinner with. Of course physical attraction is not that important when meeting new people and new friendships. Physical attraction was The Primary connection in this search. The couple we did meet were not models, they were attractive in what we called Normal Looking. I know that sounds foolish, normal people come in all shapes and colors. Our second couple were already friends, we had no problem knowing who they were as humans. We aren’t ready to go to lifestyle events to meet new people where you can get to know someone before going forward. Even if we would go to a lifestyle resort I’m thinking I would most likely strike a conversation with those who I would think are physically attracted to. Then I think how shallow that is, we aren’t perfect, our group of friends come in those already mentioned shapes and sizes. Can I have sex with someone and close my eyes to physical attributes?

Good question to think about. I can’t say we have any rules we purposely follow. True swinging get togethers we look to people we can relate to, Michael tends to make friends with people first, most likely subconsciously attracts him to a type. He will sometimes have full on conversations before knowing who the spouse or girlfriend is. I sometimes think he is finding out about a man for my benefit. We never go to parties not knowing someone there, our safety valve, the people we will start off with if we don’t immediately connect with others. Because we do try to meet new people I try to be open to men I wouldn’t pick out as the best looking or best body. At one party we started talking to a way overweight couple, both most likely never saw a gym. We have had plenty of similar examples of not selecting playmates based on first look. We also enjoy meeting unsuspecting people. If I am looking for a businessman alone at a bar, I am looking for someone I think will be willing. Most men think I’m an escort when I approach, I don’t want to scare them. I could write a book. It’s hard to describe what goes into my head when I find a man I will target. I at times will fantasize an entire night in my mind before even approaching. Actual events hardly ever match my mind game. The majority of men I approach never go with me. Michael has a way of finding couples at hotel bars. It’s his sixth sense. Not always correct. He plays the game of finding what he thinks are adulterers, men with girlfriends they meet up. It is never easy finding a couple in a hotel bar willing to join us but we have met some great people and surprisingly Mike is pretty good at finding cheaters. If I am looking for a quick find at or after an event like a football game I seek younger than us guys, not drunk, decent looking who are well kept. Guys should be fun loving and not gross and disrespectful. I only have a short time to pick someone knowing this will be a one time thing. Looks count, intelligence not so much. I have made mistakes, luckily not enough to stop us from doing it again.

My first blowjob was amazing and loving! awkward, embarrassing and messy.

We always recommend a local meet and greet. In addition to a membership on SLS or kasidie or even AFF. FetLife even has a swingers section. The meet and greets are usually held in a restaurant or bar. We live in an ultra, ULTRA conservative area ( life style clubs are against the law) but we have a very active LS community. Whatever you are interested in, I guarantee someone out there is interested in the same thing. As far as divorce goes..... swinging usually does one of two things to a relationship it either makes it stronger or it burns it to the ground. Communication is the key to making it work. And recognizing that your wants and desires can change. But you need to discuss this ahead of time. Good luck and keep us posted. There is no such thing as a dumb question.

For me as a woman and wife, when either having sex with someone other than my husband or watching hubby with another woman, oral sex is both the appetizer and the dessert. The main course, however, is the man ejaculating inside a woman's vagina - it is both the most pleasurable for me physically and the most exciting for me to watch. Hubby says he enjoys watching me suck a dick that has just cum inside me, covered with semen and my own juices; I like doing it too.

We believe in karma! A person that cheats is all about bad karma. We have no interest in being part of it. Wouldn’t even be interested in having a friendship with someone like that let alone having them join us in the bedroom.

Love Reddit. Even subscribe to r/swingers. But we wouldn't meet anyone from there at all. Reason? Too many picture collectors. Your best bet is a paid membership in one of the swinger websites. Check each of them out (the major ones sponsor parts of this website), and figure out which ones best serve your area -- it really depends where you are: some areas prefer SLS, some Kasidie, other areas are best served by SDC. Of course, pay only after you figure out which one is best for you. Then search other paid members. Seriously: paid membership really does weed-out the flakes.

Please don't ever think that, we welcome all of your posts! Speaking as the webmaster of this site, here's the simple truth - the number of new posts is directly correlated to the health and continued viability of this site. Like it or not, that's in Google's hands. Google sees it as "fewer posts must mean something is wrong with that place so we aren't going to send people there, more posts must mean something is right about that site and we will send more people there." So, it's sort of a feedback loop. You can easily enter into a death spiral of less activity, which means less Google traffic, which means fewer new members, which means less activity, and so on until the day comes the lights have to get switched off. There's a saying, "Content is king". As @lcmim mentioned, we work really hard at keeping this place welcoming and a good environment for people to post their questions and thoughts aka content. One, because that's the right thing to do to have the type of community we want to have here, and two, because it's the strategy we have chosen to maintain a viable site. It's frustrating sometimes when you see the anything goes kind of sites outperforming yours, at least in the short term. But, this site as been around 20+ years and is still kicking, and that's eons in internet years, so we must be doing something right. So, moral of story, please post, and then post some more, and encourage other people to post :) Those things all help the site.

Were you top or bottom? How did your wife react to the scene, was she really turned on? What leads you to be unsure if you want to do this again? How did you decide on 69, rather than take turns? Ha...look at me with the interview. Lol...