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To follow up on the post Debbie was a queen for a day or as our friends joked Pillow Queen. It had to be explained to me too. In anticipation of our road trip Debbie went shopping on line for sex toys as a gift. We have a wand we use and figured our friends had one too so she wanted to bring something different. We even searched on here for recommendations. I found one the ladies should enjoy and found two similar ones for the clitoris and she bought both. Seems we always have bad weather on our trips but we made it. Friday night was family night, no play with the kids around. We saved our gifts for a better opportunity. Next day the kids went skiing early and gave us plenty of couple time. Horny me couldn’t wait. I brought up the topic of the women playing, me being a jerk saying Debbie has been talking about it all week. It’s great that we can laugh with friends about sex. Why was Debbie a pillow queen? I didn’t get to watch that first time thing. The ladies went to try out the toys ALONE. The joke was about how Debbie just laid back and enjoyed herself. That’s when I fully understood the reference. I did the right thing though. After the girls emerged from the bedroom I was more than eager to please our friend. Sunday I knew the kids, not that young kids were going out at night. I couldn’t wait. I finally got to see something but not totally. We also had our first Other Couple.

Join one of the pay sites and do a search. You will be inundated with messages many asking for pictures. We were afraid to post face pictures but looked for face pictures. I know that’s strange. We didn’t want the first thing we saw being a nude picture or individual pictures. If they are registered as a couple the picture has to be of both of them. We didn’t want overly sexual messages that are graphic. A call or FaceTime with both followed with meeting over drinks, lunch or dinner. Don’t feel obligated to meet a second time if you don’t feel it’s right. Be honest with what you are looking for. At first we wanted to meet someone as new as us then realized two newbies all nervous could be a disaster. Only go forward if you are sure, set the rules, no means NO.

Our friends brought it up. We knew they were swingers and always invited us to join. We laughed it off as a joke until the joke became reality. I think because it was friends it made the first time easier, not easy. I admit it was fun, Debbie will admit it now too even though I could tell she was having fun the second and third time. When our friends invited a third couple, Debbie was unsure and then gave her approval. I think our first thoughts were unfounded that swingers were a type. When we were finally alone afterwards she did say it was plenty of fun. At this point we will wait for trips to our friends for any more fun.

You are looking for a unicorn (single woman in the L/S)...actually a golden unicorn, a single bi sexual woman. They are called unicorns since they are about as common as a unicorn...but they are out there. Usually it is just easier to find another couple that understand what you are looking for (just F/F). That is much easier to find, especially if you attend a swingers club. Just be up front of what you are looking for and don't take it personally if a couple passes on you. As Idahocouple pointed out: swinging is a magnifying glass. It will make a great relationship even greater, but if there is damage already there...cracks in the relationship, it can make them much worse. Just keep the communication going and set your limits and rules (and never violate them...you can always change them at a later time, but never violate the trust between the two of you) and most people will do just fine. I think that you will find that most of us are rather kind. Good luck and let us know how things are going!

SLS.

Wife and I would talk about it during sex and it would get us off in a good way. Then 7 years later she asked me point blank if I would have a threesome or foursome and the word “yes” shockingly came out of my mouth. She was shocked as well but didn’t say much until a few years later we took a sex quiz together and she revealed she was open to it. the problem is actually going through with it and how to find a couple that would be willing to deal with newbies. However if we never do it I still think it’s nice that we are on the same page.

We have never explored this so please be kind. My wife and I are interested in exploring a woman to be with my wife only, at least to start. My wife is bi and I am straight. We both are interested in watching other couples, my wife with another woman, but that seems to be the limit currently. We are still very new and have been having several discussions, but until we explore this more.... We have been to strip joints together and she really likes being the center of attention. Nothing is hotter to me than watching another woman lick my wife's tits and would love to watch her with another woman. Is this normal? Is there places, websites for this? Just do not know where to start and I find the most pleasure in watching her being pleasured. Unfortunately, we have friends who were in the lifestyle and did full swaps and now they are divorced (in the back of our minds). She tells me she is completely fulfilled by our sex life, but misses the touch/beauty of a woman every once in a while

It’s nice you are thinking about her feelings. I surely remember my first time with another girl, it was a threesome and it just happened. I didn’t over think it, it came naturally as a threesome could be. My friend and I shared a guy and what happened was just a progression of the act. My more recent swinging was to please my husband, he never saw two women together. I’m not sure if it was the right reason even if it did lead us to many fun times. That new first time wasn’t what we planned, not the Unicorn we searched for, we ended up with a couple, she was sweet, he wasn’t. My husband got to watch and as a bonus to him he had sex with a younger attractive woman. We have since been with others looking for what we looked for. I can tell the ones who are doing it for the husband, like I did. Over the years I’ve learned to ask the woman questions to make sure she isn’t being forced to do it. Many are doing it just for him, I hate that. Sounds hypocritical because that is why I did. You are having fun with friends you have already been naked with. You have seen the friend naked and had sex with her. You have watched your wife have sex with someone. The hardest part of swinging is behind you, that first time. You know she is nervous, she has asked you to not watch. My suggestion is for you and your friend go out for a drink and leave the ladies home alone. Let your wife be comfortable without the extra pressure of you watching. These friends will be there for more fun. If your wife can get by her first time with a woman and she enjoys it you will get to watch during future visits. I’m thinking you may get to watch right after you get back to their house with your friend. Let her enjoy her first and you will be rewarded.

I've only been unmarried doing swinging (A GOLDSTAR UNICORN!). After my divorce I had a fuck buddy mention he fucked hotwives now and then. I had zero idea what he was talking about. He introduced me to swinging after suggesting it.

My husband originally brought up his "hotwife" fantasy. Asking me to flirt, seduce and sleep with another man. I was pretty reluctant in the beginning but eventually met a guy that really did it for me and I gave my husband his fantasy. It surprised me how well it went for both of us so I started being open to opportunities when they arose. A year after I got downright aggressive about my hookups. I was the one that ended up opening the door to full swaps, my husband was eager to do it, and within a month we had our first full swap. Currently we have a couple that are close friends that we swap with frequently, we also have another two couples we can play with.

Hubby always bring up wanting another girl involved, wanted me eat her while he fucks me, her eat me while he fucks her. I do admit I was not in it at first. I do have a kinky side of me fantasize things... I told him I may do so if I can have another guy to fuck. Oh gosh well here we are.

Mmmm I did my bf was like wow and I knew It would work just then. Now many mfm later we can both say it has been great!!! Finding a new guy is so much fun for both of us.

We have always been comfortable playing together in the same room as others since we met in 1999, and I guess I was the first one to bring up an intrest in swinging, we had any number of fails and we have been very lucky things have gone as well as they have, we dont go to parties as we're both homebodies but we like to chat and play with others when we feel that itch.

We're in the same situation. We're both very different kinds of people. When I broach the subject ion the light of day, she gets butt-hurt and goes of on me saying that "I'm not enough for you." OTOH, when she's sitting on me and I say, "It would be so hot if another guy or girl was licking your butt right now," she kind of digs it. So that's the approach that I'm taking these days.

Some people are just not 'wired' for swinging, others don't have a strong enough relationship. What you CAN do is work on the relationship: love, trust and communication. Make all three better. The worst that can come from that is your relationship improves. Most of the time, a partner will take the suggestion of swinging as 'you're not good enough and I want something more' or 'I'm just looking for your replacement'. When the love/trust/communication is all there, this no longer is the issue. It's a long shot, but at least it is a shot and it can't really hurt anything.

This is Mrs. Idaho. A few months ago a bunch of my coworkers got together for drinks. I got quite drunk and kissed two females. I liked it. OMG. What have I done? were my thoughts. Had to go home and tell the husband. Did I cheat? (We've been married 35 + years) But man it was hot. He was so shocked. In a good way. And very turned on. In the last couple of years with an empty nest we have reawakened our sex life and are like a couple of kids with new toys...each other and toys, sub Dom, light bondage and spanking. Now the thought of adding extra players to the mix has blown our minds. We have chatted up some couples on sls and going to our first meet and greet next weekend. Then the following weekend traveling to Portland to a club. One night is kink night. We want to learn. Hoping to pop our swinging cherry real soon. We have been doing our due diligence in reading, learning, lurking and above all most importantly talking. We are doing this to have fun. Nothing is broken so not fixing our marriage, not missing anything in our relationship, not jealous, and neither one of us pushing the other into this. I know the thread was which partner brought up swinging? After a long winded explanation it was me the wife.?

1hot- I can understand having a profile on SLS to access the site but if your wife were to find out...invite her to this site instead.

I am here because I am interested in swinging. My wife is not as she has said when I ask. She has seen that I look at this site and I assume she understands that I am interested in swinging but since it becomes a dead shutdown conversation I don’t bring it up.

We have played with single men for years. We have found that 90% or more of them on the Internet are there for fantasy purposes only. They do not step up when it is time for real play. They like to play the part on the Internet, getting their cheap thrills and many of them even commit to showing up but very few of them ever do. We now only meet at the Swing club. We tell the guys that is where we are at and if they show up great, it not, no biggie since there are many others to get to know there. No use wasting our time on the majority that never show. BTW. We have found this to be true with many couples also, it is not just single men.