While the divide between the LS and vanilla life is most sharply demarcated along the line of sexual tolerance, the entire lifestyle is an "alternative lifestyle" that rests on embracing and celebrating a set of values. What is "interesting" and "attractive" in the LS is only partially related to conventional notions of beauty. It has more to do--we think much more to do--with how couples present themselves and interact with each other.
We agree that "taking one for the team" is a poor strategy. On the other hand, making decisions based on whether photographs show people to be classically beautiful is an equally poor strategy. We have run into more than one "handsome couple" where the attitudes and conversation immediately put us off. And while the couples we are close to are very attractive to us, fun to be with and so on, neither we nor they are going to appear in fashion magazines in the near future.
Meeting couples is part of the fun of the LS. It is also an important part of the introspection of the LS: with the opportunity to think about what you like in others, there is a reciprocal opportunity to reflect on how others perceive you. Is there such a thing as too picky? Of course not. However, it might limit your experience and your horizons.
Travel provides a useful analogy. If, when you travel, you stay only in lodging that is 'just like home', eat only foods that are 'just like home', see only things that are 'just like home', you can claim to have traveled--but not to have experienced travel. Experienced travelers do so because they relish the new experiences.