Leaderboard

Recent exchange on swingtown: we think you’re hot. thanks we are hoping for a threesome I’ve done many threesomes, have you? no. We are new to all this and would like to try having one. have you been to any LS parties. not yet. Not sure about that. Really want a threesome well the best is to meet some time and talk. Make sure everyone is comfortable and discuss limitations, likes and no go activities. oh sure we understand. Really excited. What kind of things like rules yes, limitations for you and her. Best to know before anything starts. Will this be soft or full swing event. ????? involve penetration or just manual or oral play all of it we are open. Just want threesome. well I am not bi but not shy. ok and I do not participate in anal. ok i am clean, clipped and snipped ?? circumcised and vasectomy. Tested and clean you are a guy. yes husband here. no. I just want two women. yeah. Don’t we all. You only asked for a threesome. just women np. Good luck supposedly late 40s couple. Husband calls all th shots. Wanted to meet solo to check things out then involve his wife. The vibe wasn’t right so I had a little fun. Lol

So my wife and I have been contemplating having me take a big step...we've been thinking about me getting the ol' " snip snip" done, ya know, bye bye li' swimmers: AKA a vasectomy. What guys have had it done? Did it hurt? I hesitate not because of the outcome of the procedure, but at the thought of having sharp pointy objects nipping at my sensitive bits down there. My wife has recently hit a milestone in her personal health, she has dropped nearly 100 lbs thus far (gastric sleave surgery). With her new found weight loss, we worry that her probability of getting pregnant goes up. We have a son together, and don't plan on having any additional children, so from a standpoint of permanent birth control, we are on the same page. I was just curious if any fellas here would care to share their experience with the procedure.

Over NYE we met a nice couple who were about 2 hours from where we live. We hooked up, had a great time and promised to see each other again when able. A few weekends ago, they came down to visit for some hot play time, with a twist. They asked if we would be interested in bareback and cream pie play. After a discussion about risk, (They both on Valtrex) we were in separate rooms playing. Both ladies filled to the rim, and then after they left, Mrs. F received her 3rd for the evening. We love it, and can't wait for more BB and CP play.

I met my current Boyfriend in January 2021 on a vanilla dating site. We are in our 40’s. Initially when I met him I thought he was possibly too square and introverted for me but was attracted to him and he just a really nice guy. After our 1st date he said he wanted to see me again and divulged that he had been a single man within the lifestyle (swinger) and was ultimately looking for a committed long term relationship in which he could share the lifestyle with. He had mainly slept with women who had “hall passes”, participated in MFM, and gang bangs. I was initially shocked yet extremely intrigued. When I told him I would prefer monogamy, he said he had been in the lifestyle for 2+ years so could not see himself stopping and asked if I would be willing to date him and see where things go. I have to admit that the thought of it turned me on and made me even more attracted to him. We soon learned after several dates that we were highly compatible in many areas of our lives (especially sexually) and he decided that he wanted to be exclusive and monogamous with me and only focus on each other in order to build a solid and strong foundation, which I happily agreed with. After a year together, we are completely in love and are now talking about moving in with each other with the goal of getting married. After a year together, we finally decided to create a couples profile on Kasidie last month, since this was always the expectation. We are now corresponding with couples with the goal of setting up our first “meet & greet”. Now that this is closer to happening, I am starting to feel very insecure, jealous and possessive of him and just overall scared to lose him. I have had really bad relationships in the past where men have cheated and lied to me (including my ex husband) and it left me jaded. It took a lot of therapy to help me date and trust again after being divorced for 7 years. My Boyfriend is the first real relationship I have been in since my divorce. Now I’m feeling like maybe I’m repeating a pattern of picking a man where I feel like I’m not “enough” despite this being a path we are both deciding to do together. I’m also afraid that I won’t be able to handle seeing him with another woman, even though I will be able to have sex with another man in front of him as well, and it will be the end of our relationship for me. I’m also concerned he will fall for the women we are swinging with or it will become a free for all since it’s basically cheating with permission. I have shared my concerns with him and he stated that he feels we are rock solid, have a strong foundation, and I am “the one” for him, and I don’t have anything to worry about because I am the person he loves and we will be doing this together as a couple. We both have shared this is the best and healthiest relationship we have ever been in. Everything he says plus his actions make me feel secure and loved, but then I’ll have moments or thoughts where I feel this could threaten the solid and healthy relationship we have established and I start to feel like I don’t know if I can go through with it. He did say that the “lifestyle” was his ultimate goal and the kind of relationship he wants, and I did know this would be the expectation from the get go and still decided to pursue a relationship with him anyways, so it’s not like this is a surprise. He did admit that if I back out or realize the lifestyle is not for me after we try, then it would be a deal breaker for him, and ultimately the relationship will end. I do understand his desire to want to be in the lifestyle and I can see many benefits of it, but it does hurt to know that the lifestyle is more important to him than the love we share, or is this just how I am perceiving it since it’s all new to me and I’m trying to understand the dynamics of it all? I really want to be completely uninhibited and feel completely sexually open like I see the other women are on Kasidie. I envy the women who have completely embraced and love the lifestyle. I have had a wild sexual past similar to my boyfriend but not within the lifestyle, so I know I am capable of going there and enjoying myself. I even fantasize about how it will be like and get turned on but then I start to get scared. How do I get over my fears and feelings of insecurity and jealousy before we have even tried this together? I’m starting to feel like maybe I should just end it to avoid it all together and he should find someone else who will be all in and maybe I should find a man who will only want me and no one else. But again, is this just my perception because I was raised to be in monogamous relationships? Any advice or tips would be great, especially from other women who maybe had the same initial feelings and overcame them! Thanks! Nu2this55

Afternoon, I got snipped maybe 10 years ago. The procedure was fine and the pain was very manageable. I didn't take any pain meds, but I tend to stay away from all pharma products anyway. So, the pain was manageable without drugs. AND it provided an excuse to sit at home for 2-3 days and watch movies and be waited on. Actually, I was up and about the next day, but protective of the 'boys'. I highly recommend this to anyone. Way less intrusive than the options for the ladies. The procedure took less than 1 hour. In and out of the office. Really, no big deal. The payoff is no more birth control for us, which was welcome. No concerns about playing and having a condom break opening up the possibility of getting a play partner pregnant. I have noticed reduced quantity of ejaculate. Not sure if that's related to the procedure or age. I think age as that change has been more recent than the surgery. I honestly don't know why a committed couple would choose any other form of serialization Good luck, S

Big pet peeve of ours is people online that are only looking for another woman hitting her up when we state clearly that we are a couple that only play together! The answer to this is always going to be fuckoff. No need to be respectful of people that are not respectful of us. We get that many men are creeps and don’t bother reading any part of a profile before sending a message, but we would expect better from couples. If a couple that states that they are only looking for a woman sends a message, friends request or flirt they have instantly ruined any chance of interest on our part even when they inevitably change their profile to include couples once they realize women are not going to be lined up to join them. Bridge has been burnt beyond repair. There is nothing that special about any couples out there that the wives from other couples are going to ditch their partner to be with them. Figure this shit out if you want to get anywhere in this lifestyle. A side note on this is in our experience the single unicorn women out there are more likely to want to join a couple where the man also shares his wife with other couples, because the chances of drama or less likely in an equal relationship. This is what we have been told by the women that have contacted and played with us in the past anyways.

We just joined one of the swinging meet sites reluctantly. Our friends insisted that we meet other people and not depend on visiting them as our only swing mates. Filling out the profile together we put in many restrictions that we didn’t have with our friends. Couple, same room, no bi play, condoms, no anal, and many more no. In capital letters NO SINGLE MEN. We emphasized again in the profile NO SINGLE MEN. How clear can we make it? It is very difficult for us to just post looking to meet a couple, we made Debbie the screener. It was only posted very recently and we are getting correspondence very similar to what Billygoat posted. The reason I posted this is because we aren’t looking for a woman, we want a nice couple and we still get crazy men contacting us, it isn’t saved for any type of posting.

Nu2this55, welcome to the forum! You've come to the right place. The people here are a very helpful bunch of people. We will tell you how we see things, and give you the best advice we can. I know my wife and I never would have gotten into swinging without this forum. There is a lot of information here, and a lot of people willing to listen and give real feedback. Keep coming back, keep reading, keep asking questions. You can't make a pest of yourself with your questions, no matter how many you ask! Ok, so I'm a guy and I know you wanted women's thoughts more, but hopefully I can offer some things to think about. The "ultimatum" part of this is, I think, quite troubling. It casts a dark shadow over this that shouldn't be there. It is very laudable that your boyfriend has been upfront and honest with you about this from the beginning. I don't know what the timing of his ultimatum was, but if it wasn't early in the relationship that strikes me as a very strong negative in this. Saying he could not see himself stopping is not the same thing as telling you if you don't do it, it's over. This, more than anything, really gives me pause. I don't know that it means he loves you less than having sex with other women. It could mean he simply can't imagine himself as ever being monogamous again, has found a way to be respectfully monogamous with love and approval, and is seeking that. It's hard for us to know. But, the ultimatum is troubling. Certainly he has expressed his desires and thoughts. It's equally important for you to express yours as well. Your feelings have equal legitimacy to his. Neither of you should ever feel like you are being judged by the other, nor taken down a notch or two by the other over something you said. An old girlfriend of mine were in an emotional intimacy class and that was a key ground rule; always be receptive, even if you don't accept, and not rejecting. This underpins communication. Successful swinger couples have excellent communication with each other, and feel very safe in discussing things between each other. Swinging isn't about one's partner "not being enough". My wife is an absolutely amazing woman. I am truly blessed to be married to her, and I thank my lucky stars that I found her. I can't imagine life with out her. In every respect she is "enough". That word doesn't even begin to describe it. Without arrogance, just confidence because she says as much, she would say the same things about me. We enjoy playing with others not because we're not "enough", but because it is wonderfully fun! Swinging is NOT cheating with permission. Cheating is a horrible, terrible thing that tears away at relationships, destroys trust, undermines faith in your partner. Even if the partner of the cheater is not aware they are being cheated on, it still corrupts relationships. This is why we don't ever play with people who aren't playing with permission. Cheating is disgusting in every respect. Our society programs us to assume monogamy is the only 'natural' way for a relationship to exist. There have been many societies where non-monogamy has been embraced, and has provided the foundation for strong, successful societies. Some of these still exist today. The Mosou society (look it up) is an excellent example of this. Women are free to choose as many (or as few) partners as they like. This is not isolated. If you had grown up in such a society, you wouldn't think anything amiss in your boyfriend wanting to have sex with other women. It can be difficult, but stepping outside your social programming can provide a perspective on this that might prove helpful. It helps to decide what you want. Jealousy is a powerful emotion. The best way to manage it is to have 100% open communication with your boyfriend, and ensure you have a very strong relationship with him. It's often been said here that swinging magnifies what it finds in relationships. If there is a deep, intimate love it will magnify that. If it finds a suspicion and distrust, it will magnify that. My wife wasn't all that comfortable with the idea of me having sex with other women at first. I was ok with that. We got past that after a couple of years. Lots of patience, love, communication. Fast forward many years, and my wife is comfortable with me having sex with other women. In fact, I have a very dear friend whom I dated for quite a long time some years before I met my wife. I am still very, very close with her. I've never had sex with her since we broke up oh so long ago, but my wife is comfortable with the idea of me doing so, and has even told this woman that. My wife was uncomfortable with the idea of me having sex with other women at first, but now is embracing what would be the most terrifying thing for a jealous spouse; the idea that I might go back to my old girlfriend. I never would, and my wife knows this (as does my old girlfriend). So, yes the jealousy question can be set aside with time, patience, and love. If...IF...you decide to try swinging, you might consider having your first (or more) experiences being MFMs. They don't even have to be encounters where you have sex with other men if you don't want to. It could be that you might do everything but have sex, or mutual massage, or some other variation. This can help you gauge your own comfort level of having physical contact with another man with your boyfriend there. I can't know your own emotions on this, but if you're generally amenable to the idea of trying swinging, you might kick yourself for breaking up with your boyfriend and not taking a try at dipping your toe in the pool. It's just a thought, but you shouldn't push yourself either. That can be a recipe for disaster. Not everyone can embrace swinging, and that's ok. For those that can, if they are in a very strong, well founded relationship, it can be an incredible and potent choice for your relationship. No, it doesn't fix anything, but if as I noted it finds a wonderful relationship it will magnify that. It can be an absolutely wonderful experience to be having sex with someone, look over and see your partner having an absolutely fantastic time having sex with someone else. There's a common piece of advice here that you should know, and should talk through with your boyfriend. In getting into swinging, you should always move at the pace of the partner who is going slower. Your boyfriend is likely ready to do it now. You're not, and that's perfectly ok. He should be patient and want to be lovingly supportive of you. I would suggest that if he is not doing so, it is a sign of trouble. I would advise you to not move in with your boyfriend until you've worked this all out. Things are likely to get more messy if you do, and you will also possibly feel more pressure to have sex with someone else. You should never feel you are pressured. There's a frequent poster here who goes by the pseudonym "couplers". She would probably be an excellent person to discuss these concerns with. I hope she sees this thread and responds.

There's a reason that they are called unicorns. I can only guess that some people looking for them start looking where there most likely aren't any to be found out of desperation. Easy enough to block those people who don't or can't read...

When I met my man, I knew within two hours of meeting him that I would love him. Two hours later he told me he would never me monogamous, and that he had been in the lifestyle for 20+ years. Explained what that meant, etc. etc. I had a ton of questions and decided to give it a shot. I had a repressed sexual history and marriage so this was all new to me. We love each other, but know that we can crave/need and feed our desires sexually and sometimes emotionally in the lifestyle. We are stronger for it and the honesty is amazing.

For those who want to know, while the sex I had with David and Red was mostly one on one and our love deepened among the three of us in those early days (before Clair and Lora), the MFMs we had became more about just the sex, the physical pleasure, like a celebration. Our first DP was one of our weekend meet-ups, I was riding David cowgirl and Red came up behind me and put it in my bum, and then it was a kind of thing.

Try Uber

We were on a Bliss cruise. We were seated at the hibachi bar at the ship’s Japanese restaurant. The chef asked if anyone had any allergies. One of the swingers said “No anal.”

After 8 years in the lifestyle, we do not have any reserved acts left exclusively between us, we have been very lucky to meet amazing people, some of them become very close friends and we have made incredible memories a long the way.

The one thing we explicitly keep to ourselves is unprotected intercourse. Over time we've figured out that we don't have many hangups about using the rest of our bodies, but shooting inside her is between us.