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Really great points here. I agree with most of them. There has to be some attraction; nice smile, well groomed, smell nice, and dressed presentably (collared shirts, no ripped/stained pants, wife beaters, track suits, crooked hats). Confidence, not cockiness. Be yourself. Do tell me what you think I want to hear. Can spot that phony crap a mile away. We know your objective is to get in my pants, don’t be obvious, desperate, or pushy about it. Know how to talk to me and hubby and above all know your place. We are partners in crime, you are our accomplice. for us, an ID/Handle “I am the bull,” is an instant turn off but that’s not the case with everyone. Self described bull, dom, cuck play…not for us. Looks good in porn, makes a great fantasy/fetish. As far as our sex life and interest, our tastes lean toward the vanilla, other than the fact that we engage in those activities with multiple partners.

Cute dicks are a thing not for size just looks. I talk to a penis as if it’s a person. I look at the head as a face, some faces have smiles. Men don’t like when I say cute at first then get into it, especially if the nose is running and I lick it away.

This is exactly my point. I've also never known how big he was until I made my choice to sleep with him.

We had decided early on that we should keep track for many reasons who we met. We started by keeping our own real names and any identifying facts very secretive. We set up a special email, never gave out phone numbers or addresses and either met at neutral meeting places. We had a fear of people knowing I was bi and we were having sex with strangers. After meeting anonymously, we knew more about others, we thought what happens if they need to contact us for any number of reasons or we needed to contact them. It became my job to keep track, keep a journal. It started with just names and contact info and if we had a picture to attach. We then extended the entries to and special notes which then led to more of a narrative of what happened each time we met. The real fun was my notes didn’t always sound like the way he saw it. We kept expanding details, what could we remember. We even went as far as journaling physical attributes. We do have a type we look to but even that has gotten wider. We didn’t want facial hair at first, now we have expanded. At one point we searched out redheads, don’t be fooled by pictures. Breast size is hard to hide. We kept adding to journal categories, orgasms, easy or hard to make a woman orgasm or no orgasm. Men’s orgasms too, to soon and then we adding notes of copious, men who had major amounts. We know who was shy, exhibitionist, who was dominated in a relationship. We even added notes on sounds made. We are now even grading meetings, not every meeting is worth repeating. Are we being over obsessive in our journaling, I think it has added another fun thing we do and going back over those we met is like going through family vacation pictures. Things we would like to do again and things we did period. Do others keep track or just remember the few they met?

My wife and I have a lot of fantasies about this subject, and we've tried many things so far. Recently I was on a business trip and on the day I was supposed to arrive, my wife called and told me that she had a surprise for me when I arrived. I got very excited and decided to take a potency-boosting drug 15 minutes before entering the house. When I arrived and walked into the house, I was very surprised as my wife was having sex with two men, and I immediately joined them. The evening went great:)

Lol... I find the question to be somewhat humorous. What do couples look for in a single man? Um, the answer, of course, is a varied as the couples involved. The notion that there is some universal description of what "all couples" are looking for in a single man is rather unrealistic. At best, we could offer some guideposts that mostly surround your behavior, dress, personal hygiene, etc. Not coincidentally, this is the same advice we'd offer any man looking to meet up with a single (vanilla or otherwise) or open couple: Expect rejection, lots and lots of it (if this thought bothers you, quit while you're ahead) Be a gentleman at all times in your words, deeds, manners, and demeanor Be punctual Be genuine Show interest in her/the couple and don't talk about yourself too much Be sparkling clean, closely shaved, with minty fresh breath, and use cologne sparingly Dress smartly for the occasion, slightly above what might be expected Nobody likes a boozer or drug user (if you do partake in libations, do so in extreme moderation) Have no expectation of sex (it probably won't happen, especially on the first meet up) Always remember the biggest sexual organ is the brain; make her laugh and help her relax, and you're halfway there Give chemistry time to develop and don't be in a hurry The couple always has veto power and they don't owe you an explanation Get tested for the full spectrum of STDs/STIs and be prepared to produce the results when requested Should you be lucky enough to be invited to have sex, always assume a condom is required and bring your own You may have some performance issues (yes, even the Bull God) so bring along a couple of doses of sildenafil (Viagra) Pick up after yourself Don't overstay your welcome A follow-up phone call 48-72 hours later is fine, but don't act like a desperate hound or creep (texting is not acceptable) Never kiss and tell (there is no Expiration Date on your obligation to remain discreet.) Best of luck to you.

I agree with everything Gold Co Couple wrote above, with one caveat: Love is defined by the people feeling it. For many, most I would reckon, sex really does equal love. That is their reality. And not all swingers entirely separate sex from love. Ann and I very much feel our sexuality/sensuality shared between us is a physical expression of our love for each other. However, we also know that not all forms of our sexual expression revolve around love. For us, not all sex is the same. That is our reality.

Michael could never experience things the same way because he is doing different things. He can’t know the feeling I get with a man the same way I will never know the feeling of putting a penis in a woman. Michael is very good at noticing my reactions when he watches. He knows when I get excited or disappointed. I don’t remember sounds I make giving a bj or that I at times reach between my legs when a man comes. It’s two views of the same act.

I know I read this on here, part of the fun is seeing a partner that first time. I can’t say I was ever taken back by someone being cute sized

Hmmm I wonder how others would rate us. We only started in swinging LS and can tell you everything about everyone we met. I can’t imagine losing track with too many meet-ups, Possibly you can share on here parts of your journal. Don’t you have homework after sex with others? . For us part of the fun is reliving what we just did, I think journaling or blogging would extend the fun.

Rocky gave more attention to the size of men, I noticed other differences. I told him he has the best looking penis. Does that make you feel better? In my life I never asked a man how big he is before deciding to have sex with him. I also never used a man’s size to determine if I would continue seeing him. For the benefit of his ego I did remind him that I married him.

It has been said many times, men obsess on dick size, women care about many more things. When we first looked for someone to meet we both noticed the how nice she looked and the size he had. It wasn’t a factor just a fact.

We prefer the right guy.

So true! Nothing turns off the missus more then dudes obsessed with their own penis. Searching online for other guys is near impossible, because it is just a sea of useless cock pics.

I apologize if I emphasized Boyfriend. Debbie and the man on the swing site dated in college for what I understand was a semester. I think many of us had relationships that were sexual when in school. Her major memories were a few ski weekends and a trip to Maine. At the end of the school year in May they both went home and the contacts were few. In the age of social media and constant cell phone call, I lost sight that those only became every day things in the last 20 years. He has sent another message acknowledging our reluctance to write back stating it would be nice just to meet at a truly safe place, Starbucks. If we did go further, I keep telling Debbie that she looks just like she did in school. I joke he already saw you naked, she joked back, sure he ran away.

Don’t overthink just think. Friends, strangers, long term, brief, remember this is for fun. Honesty is the real basis of your relationship not worrying that you are going to fall in love with a new partner. If you have any doubts or worries that Debbie is going to rekindle old feelings you should quit now. Take her for dinner and make passionate love to her. There can be no love in swinging friends, just enjoyment physically. It’s nice to relate to people you swing with, enjoy it. Don’t let emotional baggage come in between what you already have. Let Debbie make the decision unless you just aren’t comfortable. Talk! If you meet them part of the meeting will be discussing people and places in another lifetime. It will be natural for them to remember, memories fade and both have moved on.

We had sex with strangers that we met online not anyone either of us knew before we met them. I don’t know if I would agree to meet someone Rocky had dated before I met him. Let’s be honest we all dated before we met The One. We all had sex before we married. This post made me think, is there anyone I had sex with I would want to again. I did date someone or two or more that sex was horrible. I had one nighters I wish went longer. I can’t remember any boyfriend that I broke up because of sex. Being an idiot or abusive or just growing apart were reasons, not bad sex. You sound like you and your wife are open for a talk. Unless her breakup was traumatic she most likely won’t remember the reason she stopped dating him. Ask her if the sex was memorable. Then ask what does she think about meeting again. Now ask yourself, are you jealous? How do you think the other wife feels about this. She may not want to meet for the same doubts you have. Sex aside, how will you act when they reminisce. I once went to Rocky’s reunion and felt like an outsider. They something in common and I didn’t know what they were talking about. These people are strangers to you and I’m thinking strangers to your wife. Some commonality is a good thing if you make it a good thing. They are swingers, new or seasoned you don’t know yet. Have the honest talk and decide together. Only if you both can agree should you go forward.

I still have sex with a couple of my ex's.. every night I return to my husband. You gotta trust your wife.

1. Yes, you run into people from vanilla life. We don’t tell anyone they are swingers 2. I would not play with a former girl friend. I would not want my wife to play with a former bf. I doubt that she would want to do so. There are billions of people with no attachments or history. That is part of the fun. No reruns.

I was very self conscious and extremely nervous about being with a woman the first time. I am with your wife, I do not like a male audience when I am with a woman.

We have been talking about it for about a year. It has helped us discover some kinks and interests but we haven't taken the plunge yet. I am hoping to continue the conversation when my wife recovers from her surgery and see if we can move past just a fantasy.

Never had the experience of seeing her fully indulge with a woman. She is reluctant and not sure if she is attracted to the idea. With that said, kissing and touching is a thing. The first time I saw her aggressively close to another woman was while they were both going down on me together. Between the tongues and kissing, my thought was that I had to go get a beer as an excuse because I didn't want to cum yet. Pretty much still have the same thought now.

Baseball 🤣

First couple was our friends, my wife’s best friend and her new husband. My wife found out they were swingers just about this time six years ago. I called it girl talk with her friend telling her after her divorce she met a man who took her to sex parties. My wife surprised me with the stories she told me and how interested she was. I thought our home sex life was very active and great. I questioned why she was so enthusiastic about her friend’s new life. Was she jealous of her friend? Our friend was very attractive and I recall undressing her in my head. I wasn’t convinced that it was a good idea to do this and with friends would be a big mistake. My wife kept pressing the topic. I think it was a few months of her trying to convince me before I agreed.

We really lucked out. Our first couple were people Mrs. E knew, used to babysit for. She renewed the long-distance friendship with the wife years after they'd moved to Las Vegas. One way or another, it came up in conversation, the friend managed to discern that we were curious, and dropped hints that they were already open and had another couple. I'd always wanted us to experiment with strangers for simplicity, but if it hadn't been for a wife she trusted and a familiar male she'd already fantasized about once or twice in the past, we'd have probably never gotten started, and we got to start with two couples who already worked well together. It went so smoothly we went from soft swap by their pool to full swap in our hotel room in 24 hours.

Well you have gone a long way already especially if they are discussing it. I too had this fantasy / fetish and TBH with the right person you trust and know well it is HIGHLY erotic. However our ground rules were that we would be in the same room. But to each is own. Our first threesome with an old friend that she normally would not be attracted to turned out that way and TBH it was the most erotic thing I have ever experienced seeing the head of his cock enter her, her expression and then when we was about to cum looking at her and me for approval (giving it) and seeing him tense up and explode in her. I did not examine the cum pouring out but she basically passed out from exhaustion and we lay there for hours reliving mentally the event.