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Over NYE we met a nice couple who were about 2 hours from where we live. We hooked up, had a great time and promised to see each other again when able. A few weekends ago, they came down to visit for some hot play time, with a twist. They asked if we would be interested in bareback and cream pie play. After a discussion about risk, (They both on Valtrex) we were in separate rooms playing. Both ladies filled to the rim, and then after they left, Mrs. F received her 3rd for the evening. We love it, and can't wait for more BB and CP play.

A lot of great responses above. From what I see, boiling it down to where you go from here I think depends on the degree of feelings. For example, you used "struggles", "really hurting", "grieving". There is a large progression between struggling with something and grieving over something. They say time heals all wounds, and I think for the most part that is true as long as one keeps in mind that 1) healed doesn't mean no scar, and 2) just because there is a scar from past injury doesn't mean something can't go back to functioning perfectly fine in the present. The healing process over a struggle and a grieve though are going to take different amounts of time. I think it is really too soon for her herself to even know for sure where she is at somewhere between struggle and grieve. Just keep talking it through though, that will help both of you figure out where things are which is the first step to knowing how to fix them. If the true feelings are closer to a struggle, it will likely revolve itself in fairly short order. If the true feelings are grief, then it will take longer, and in the worst case, may take professional help. I'm never a cheerleader/recruiter for swinging, so my intention here is not to convince either of you what the future should hold for you. I will however say it is the rare swinging couple that hasn't hit a serious speed bump somewhere in their swinging past. I don't mean divorce and that whole discussion, I mean a time when things didn't go how they were supposed to and it caused issues. Nearly any swinger can tell you a personal story about that, if not several. But, no matter how bad it seemed in the heat of the moment, with time, things almost always worked themselves out with no lasting harm done. I suspect that is because if the base relationship is strong, it will weather storms, and there isn't anything unique about a swinging-caused storm. If the base relationship isn't strong, then bad things can happen, and again, that's not unique to a swinging stressor. Good luck. I think with some patience, understanding, kindness, and good communication everything will be fine and you may very well come out on the other side stronger than before.

I've definitely thought about it. When I'm out and about, doing mundane everyday life things, I notice attractive women (not in a creepy way, I don't talk to them or stare. I just see attractive ladies here and there). I can explain what I find attractive about them. When the thought of giving oral to a man entered my mind, I have tried to look around while out, see if there is anything about men I find attractive. Nope. For the life of me, I cannot understand why women find us guys attractive. So, I'm not sure I'll ever actually give oral to a man. I've touched other cocks during our adventures (e.g. guiding one into my SO). The thought still pops into my head on occasion but it isn't something I'll seek out. I do understand the OPs situation. As for bringing it up...it depends on your wife. She may be grossed out by the thought. She may be turned on by the thought. Given the two potential extremes, tread carefully. Drop some hints here and there and gauge her reaction. Finding it would be easy if you want. Change your profile to "curious", make sure you mention it in your profile narrative. At the very least you'll find a single bi-male who would love to join you. Your best bet, at least from what I've learned from talking with others who gave it a try, is to find a couple with a bi-curious male. This way the whole experience isn't around the guys. You can dabble a little and still have a fun night with the other couple.

You are hardly the only one. To begin, look for a single bi male or a couple who lists their male as bi / bi-curious. But, many "straight" males are interested in m/m play and their wives are enthusiastic supporters/participants. If you list yourself as bi-curious, they will find you. Another thought is to have your wife bring it up in a playful, nonthreatening way. Men get to watch us play - why don't we get to see them play together??? If both women make it clear that they are good with it - it might open the door for m/m touching, etc.

‘Steven Brody, PhD, in Cambria, California, believes the divorce rate among non-monogamous couples to be as high as 90+%. This is based upon his more than three decades of clinical practice and thousands of patient interactions." ( http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/personal/03/23/o.open.marriages.work/ ) This fails the inter-ocular test…🙄 This is complete BS. It’s his clinical observation, not actual research. It may (or may not) be the case that lifestyle couples who come to him for counseling eventually divorce. But happy swinger couples don’t present for relationship therapy. If, hypothetically, there are 1,000 swinger couples in his catchment area and 100 come to him for relationship therapy. Of those 100 couples 90 eventually divorce. That might be 90% of his patients, but it’s only 9% of the total swinger population.

I think a lot of these replies are attempting to answer a question you didn't ask and/or trying to persuade you to keep pushing the cart down this path. Here are some different points to consider: Having sex with someone outside of marriage has ruined far more relationships than it has enhanced. That is simple fact. In most relationships, the fantasy of having sex with someone other than your spouse should stay exactly that--a fantasy. Despite the impression you may find on this sight, it is a rare couple that is secure enough with themselves, their spouses, and their relationship, to allow repeated sexual contact with people outside of their marriage and still keep their marriage intact. And, just like in the vanilla community, the incidence of divorce among swinging couples is quite high. Should you and your wife decide to continue along this pathway, I suggest in the strongest terms you agree on your boundaries and stick to them. Respectfully, you two made a massive error in judgement: There is a world of difference between having sex in the same room as another couple (a harmless form of both exhibitionism and voyeurism) versus having sex with the other couple. As a couple, you were simply not ready for it. And you may never be. And that's perfectly okay. You're no less of a couple for it. As far as helping your wife get through it? You said she was "really hurting" and "grieving"... those are interesting word choices. In normal language, we usually reserve "grieving" to describe deeply intense emotional loss. I'd be quite concerned for her emotional wellbeing if I was in your shoes. The best thing you can do is communicate, communicate, communicate. Tell her you love her. Show her you love her (acts of service.) Make love to her. If she can't shake these intense feelings within the next week or so, pick up the phone and schedule some time with a therapist. If she's not able to reset on her own, she will need some professional assistance. Ann and I wish you and your wife the best. Let us know how she's doing in a week or so.

I know I read this on here, part of the fun is seeing a partner that first time. I can’t say I was ever taken back by someone being cute sized

Rocky gave more attention to the size of men, I noticed other differences. I told him he has the best looking penis. Does that make you feel better? In my life I never asked a man how big he is before deciding to have sex with him. I also never used a man’s size to determine if I would continue seeing him. For the benefit of his ego I did remind him that I married him.

It has been said many times, men obsess on dick size, women care about many more things. When we first looked for someone to meet we both noticed the how nice she looked and the size he had. It wasn’t a factor just a fact.

We strongly believe that you shouldn't ever swing with friends because if (or when) something goes wrong, EVERYONE knows...other friends, family, co-workers, everyone. We even feel stronger about swinging with people who aren't swingers...they aren't prepared for the emotions and everything else that happens. Finally, once other significant others find out what happened, they will have a face to be angry with and probably want revenge. This can destroy more than one relationship here. So you say your GF has a rep of being a slut...there is a HUGE difference between being thought of or called a slut and having stone cold proof. Nobody likes to spread gossip more than a bunch of upset women, especially if there is no doubting that it is true. This might be fun to think about and maybe even fantasize about, if it is a fantasy she would like to make happen, go to a swingers club and make it happen somewhere that is safe and controlled with people who understand what is happening and won't want to 'hook up' or try to make her do it again in the future. Please don't let her go here, there is NOTHING GOOD that will come out of it.

I'm with Fitlakecouple on this. This has disaster written all over it in spade and then some. It's often said on this board that it's a bad idea to try to bring friends to the idea of swinging. It's ok to make friends of swingers, but not swingers of friends. It stands a VERY high chance of ruining friendships. Here, in this case, you've got a 'chance' to ruin friendships with a whole circle of friends. Your GF will forever have a reputation among your circle of friends, and it won't be a nice one. There will be judgment and contempt, even from those who have sex with her. They will laugh about what a wild night it was, and what an absolute slut your GF is. She will never be just another person at any other gathering that includes any subset of those friends in the future. She will be an object, and not much more. I'm quite sure the wife-to-be will be extremely upset about the whole thing when she founds out (and she will). There will also be a lot of people who do not attend this party who will know about this night, and may well include people whom you 'd rather they didn't know. I'm sorry, but even though your GF is 100% onboard with this, this is the sort of thing that nightmares are made of.

What a great way to ruin the wedding and a friendship at the same time. Let us know how it turns out!