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We have been reading recently a lot about how awful it is when a married man decides to play alone, his wife not being aware of his extramarital activities, etc. And strangely, the main reason you seem to dislike this behaviour is not so much for moral reasons (duh…) but because “nobody wants to have to deal with cheating dramas, etc.” Well, as couple who loves MMF, we disagree. Here’s why. 1. There are less chances that a married man brings “feelings” into his sexual adventures than a single man. He knows and acknowledges that he is here for sex, not to find a soulmate. That is less dangerous - and boring - than the single man who falls in love. (Even if, of course, it can still happen…) 2. Erotically speaking, it’s very VERY exciting to know that this man chooses me against his legal wife. And that makes my husband even more proud of me 3. Being married, the guy will never stay too long. He will know his exact place and will leave precisely when the moment has come. So… married cheating single men… write to us

What you said makes perfect sense. Ive been trying to keep that in mind, that everyone is just so different. We did end up going to their place to get ready for the event, was a wholesome time just getting ready for a night out with friends. Nothing was weird, I think it's just me.

As I said I enjoy new partners, generally when I sleep with a new sexual partner I am not trying to cultivate any type of a relationship. So leaving it behind after a week or so is easy. Now having said that I also am capable of falling in love and continued sexual attraction is highly desirable cause I love them and want to please them. This is what Polyamory is, it's being in love with multiple people, not just sleeping with them. I adore my husband and have frequent sex with him. I am also very much in love with a coworker that I have been having regular sex with for 3 years now. I also have a seperate relationship with a woman that I love deeply, we have been sexual for 8 months. She is my goddess and I would do anything for her. I do not think you are Poly, I'd say you are simply promiscuous. I do not think there is anything wrong with being promiscuous, I am also promiscuous. I've had more sexual partners than anyone I directly know. Just be happy with yourself, spice up your sex life with your wife. Make it naughty, fuck her in a public restroom or in an alley. Have fun.

Agree with everything above. Like dealing with most problems, I think start small and then escalate until you get results is the way to go. If it gets to the point of reporting to club management and they don't do anything about it, then time to find a different club. In our lifestyle adventures, nearly everyone, of both sexes, has been respectful. The worst has been something very similar. One night at a swing club, mrs. cplnuswing spotted a single guy at the bar she thought was hot. At this club, single guys are restricted to just certain areas unless invited by a couple. So she goes up to him and asks him if he would like to dance, and within a minute he had his hand up her skirt trying to finger her. She just shook her head no and kind of pulled back from him, and he got to finish his dance but at arm's length and then make retreat back to the bar to be by himself again. I thought then, and still do, what a dumbass! So a woman comes up and asks you to dance, in an on-premise swing club. 1) she has at least some level of interest in you, 2) she can put that interest into action any time she wants, playroom just steps away. And you decide to totally fuck that up by trying to cop a cheap feel within 60 seconds of first meeting her? Clueless!!

It would feel weird to us too, and we'd be asking the same questions. One thing I try to keep in mind, and this goes for both vanilla and swinging life, is not everyone is, for lack of a better word, as conscientious, about things as we are. I don't mean that in a bragging way, but just people have different styles. Some people have never paid a bill even a day late in their lives, others have the money but are doing good to remember to get it there by the due date two months out of three. Some people will immediately email/text you back about something, others it may be a while. So, for those that just do things in sort of a spontaneous fashion, then the behavior you describe could just sort of be how they do business? Feels weird to you but perfectly normal to them. Just a thought.

Think it went the way someone else wanted. You can’t always get what you want. But if you try sometime you'll find You get what you need

Only if you are posting here everyday

We get together with the couple that we have been 'dating' for a LONG time about once a month or so. We always plan on having something happen, but there are plenty of times when we just have a vanilla evening. There's nothing wrong with that since we like them as people and not just as sex toys, and still enjoy the evenings. Sometimes the 'vibe' just isn't there...and that's okay. Other times we have not expected much and things get crazy. Bottom line is we enjoy the time we spend together, no matter what we are doing.

I am 68. I do

This doesn’t answer your question, my wife found an ex of over 20 years ago online in a swingers group and we are considering meeting them.

I don't think there is anything wrong with you saying you desire sexual variety. I have always sought out new sexual experiences, even when I was young. It's also what I love most about giving my husband his hotwife scenarios. Monogamy never appealed to me, when I met my husband I told him dating me would be hard because I would never give up being polyamorous. I enjoy dating new people and getting to know them intimately, and once I've done that I am constantly seeking the next experience. 🙃 it makes me happy. Now I will say I do have a couple long term relationships I continue to entertain, but its due to the relationships I've created.

Yes. Value the relationship. Sense what level of activity everyone wants, be happy to have them as friends. Even LS relationships have an up and down dynamic. One thing the gentlemen might ask themselves--what would be a terrific time for the ladies? Send them on a girls' weekend, agree to go to some attraction or event that's their idea, given them a pair of gift certificates to a local spa, cook a meal for them (including shopping, prep, cooking, and cleanup) while they sip drinks and relax somewhere. Make it about them, not about sex. Yes, they'll notice.

Yes! One post and done. I wish people would follow up on their stories.

We had this conversation not long ago. Background, we played separately for years, call it cheating if you want. I played around on business trips, she meets men on affairs sites. I continue to meet up with the same partners when traveling to a city. It could be a few times a year, less the last two years, and the excitement stays alive. She has quick affairs lasting no more than a month or so. She said she doesn’t want any long term relationships because it gets messy. She also said the excitement wanes over time.

If it were my decision, I'd go for it. I am the type that would rather try something and regret it, than never try and always wonder, "what if?"

I still have sex with a couple of my ex's.. every night I return to my husband. You gotta trust your wife.

I can see those argument from both sides. 10 years back I was a bit poly, I was then seriously dating my current husband but still had side relationships. One day at a bar I met an extremely attractive woman named Allison at a gay bar and we connected, the chemistry was amazing. We danced and drank till the bar shut down. At the end of the evening we went back to my place and had an intense night of sex. We hung out the next day and exchanged numbers. I told her everything about me. I thought she told me everything about her. We started casually dating each other which turned into seriously dating and she was my girlfriend for over 6 months. One night I was out with my man and I saw her at the bar. So I went over to grab her and see if she wanted to join us. I walked up and said hey sexy and went to kiss her only to see her jerk back in horror. She quickly kissed me on the cheek and then I heard a guy say "who is this?" She turned and introduced me as a friend to the guy and said to me "This is my husband, Michael." I was floored and deeply emberaced. Watching her jerk away from me in fear of getting caught hurt. I loved her. It was hard for me to get over. So I agree with the no cheaters rule. But I currently engage in Hotwife activities. When I pick up a guy I'm often traveling for work so I'm out of my town. I meet guys at the hotel bars generally and I have found my share of traveling business men with the wedding ring. I never ask if they have permission, it adds to the experience. It makes it a little more wicked or naughty. I never tell them I have permission. If they ask about my wedding ring I ask them "Why do you want to know? Do you know him? Are you friends? Are you worried about hurting his feelings?" The answer is always "no" and then we bone. I never feel bad, I don't exchange numbers, I don't even give them my real name. So in that scenario cheaters work for me.