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Showing content with the highest reputation on 05/03/2022 in all areas

  1. 3 points
    When we started, it generally took a couple of drinks to overcome inhibitions, yes. Neither of us are big drinkers. A bottle of wine (two generous glasses each) for the two of us is a warm evening, a second bottle is a party. It's mostly been our norm to break the ice in a cocktail lounge or wine bar so a couple of rounds is typical. It's enough for her to get past any hang-ups about sexual openness, but more than that is too much. We *have* started sober more than a few times, though, usually with people we know well.
  2. 3 points
    We do not drink….at all to play. We do not drink at all at most any lifestyle event that might include playing. But we will occasionally let our hair down and have several drinks at a social setting. Man of our long time friends are in the lifestyle and most we play with. But socially we will have drinks we prefer to be sober making clear head decisions and enjoy play time to the fullest, knowing and remembering everything we did and with whom. we do not mind if others have had drinks….but if they are tipsy or to loose we back off for that time….maybe next time.
  3. 2 points
    Not wanting to be around activities that are a turnoff to you does not make one homophobic or close minded! Being against other people doing same sex acts on their time is homophobic and close minded. If scat or piss play is a turnoff for you are you going to want to be in a room full of people doing it to each other? Personally for us these things are a big turn off and being in the presence of people doing it is not something that interests us. We feel the same way about men playing with men. Big turnoff for both of us. We don’t however tell people or think people that do these things are bad people or are wrong for enjoying it. They are more then free to have a party with other people with the same interests. Doesn’t bother us one bit. We just won’t be participating. Being a swinger does not mean you have to do anyone or any act with a person any more then you would if you were not a swinger. It is ridiculous how many people seem to think it does. You can accept and respect others even if they are different then you without having sex with them.
  4. 2 points
    Alcohol, I have noticed in our many years of swinging, is always present. And no, no to the point of sloppy drunkenness, but to take off the edge. I have always believed that without alcohol there would be very few swingers.
  5. 2 points
    I genuinely appreciate your response. I am not an alcoholic and I am never over inebriated at the club or anywhere else. I generally have 2 drinks over the course of many hours that we are there, but again, when it's 3 nights per week, that's more alcohol than I want. I was trying to explain that I realize alcohol is a crutch in the lifestyle to overcome inhibitions and I would like to be comfortable without alcohol. Your response is kind ,helpful and that's what I was looking for. I do love the feeling of not drinking and the power to enjoy the lifestyle without. I will keep plugging away and see how it goes!
  6. 2 points
    We quit drinking 8 years ago. We enjoyed it, but felt like it was time. Health was a big factor. We are very healthy, but would then consume a beverage, sometime a lot, that was opposite of that. So, I'm not against drinking it just doesn't jive with our lifestyle. When you're sober, the world looks different, you see it differently. It takes time to adjust. Alcohol reduces inhibitions and increases acceptance of others. Once it's effects are gone, you'll see most social interactions in a different light whether that's swinging or having a 'vanilla' backyard BBQ. Over time you'll adjust, you'll learn to be more open and vulnerable without the crutch of alcohol. You may get healthier as well which can increase your self esteem etc. After 8 years I can truly say I'm happy to be alcohol free. Do I miss it? Sometimes, but the benefits always outweigh what it means to go back. You said you first visits weren't so great. Exactly our experience. Time helps. You are in some ways taking off the 'alcohol' mask and now your naked and more real in all situations. Can't hide so much and that is uncomfortable. Work to get comfortable as non-drinkers. Take time to reflect on how your interactions are, in and out of the swinging world. See what you like and do more of that. Hope that helps and makes a little sense.
  7. 2 points
    We always ask before doing anything, especially if it is something that the other couple hasn't previously agreed to. We believe (and it has been our experience) that most other couples do the same thing. If a couple does try to do something we are not interested in doing, we stop what is going on, and if they insist on proceeding, we end the encounter. Since you both are against girl/girl play, when you see it starting, one (or both of you) should immediately say something and if they want to honor your wishes, then leave. That the previous couples have done this without asking permission is something we would not tolerate.
  8. 1 point
    If someone brags about being a bull it turns me off. I don’t want to hear that you want to dominate, to me it’s a bad sign. A man can be assertive during sex as long he shows respect. I don’t want me or my husband humiliated.
  9. 1 point
    This pretty much describes us. I have had one big screw-up in our swinging career (I was forgiven thankfully). It was because I was hammered drunk. That is a very very rare thing for me. The fact I was that night didn't have anything to do with swinging, it was one of those "what were you thinking?" very rare times when if I do drink, I don't stop way before being drunk, and usually before even being buzzed. I agree, it's better when you are sober.
  10. 1 point
    As for getting her to stop swinging just tell her you don’t want to do it at the current time! If one partner wants to stop then both partners stop. I would think this is something most people agree to when they get into swinging. As for convincing her to go to therapy I got nothing. It took my ex wife 6 years after she left me before she finally admitted she had issues to deal with and go to a therapist for help.
  11. 1 point
    That’s something we aren’t into either. Most of they guys who introduce themselves as being bull/dome come off as arrogant/machismo. Much rather have a guy (or couple or single lady) that there’s is some type of connection with and above all trust. In the guys introduced or describing themselves a bull, we don’t get a trust or respect vibe. Larry Flint always said that he sold plain vanilla sex. Personally, that’s where our interests lie, we just like to add an extra partner now and then.
  12. 1 point
    We both can take it or leave it when it comes to alcohol! Don’t really care what others do with it, but if someone is tanked we are not going to be playing with them. Both of us much prefer marijuana and the great effects it has on play time. Thankfully they rightfully so made it legal here in Canada four years ago and it is now much more accepted by more people. The best play sessions we have had with others is when marijuana is involved. We still play with people that don’t partake as long as they are not uptight about others that do. Nothing annoys us more then people that drink, but have a problem with pot. We know which one causes more problems in the real world everyday and it is the one that is more accepted by people of walks of life.
  13. 1 point
    We aren't really drinkers but as long as no one is sloppy drunk and able to consent, we don't care. A drink or two does take the initial nervousness off for newer couples. Again, everyone has to be sober so they can consent to the activities.
  14. 1 point
    I completely agree. We're on the side of 'pretty much anything goes'.
  15. 1 point
    I am a bit surprised at how many people call this disgusting. gross, and should not be tolerated at group events. When did swinging become so territorial? When did we decide that activities can only occur that turn us on, otherwise it should not be allowed. That is not the way it used to be. Swingers used to be more open to allowing people to enjoy themselves. I see a real close mindedness here.
  16. 1 point
    I think there's a fairly bright line between light kissing and touching among women, and, as Mrs. E has put it, "going downtown". She likes women's bodies but doesn't want to perform oral on a woman and can't relax receiving it the way she can with a man. Only one of the women we've been involved it is really proactively interested in it, but has never made an issue of Mrs. E being unreceptive. If your wife is uncomfortable with it, she can expect others to respect her boundaries. I don't think it requires a prepared position statement or anything. A pleasant "I'm just not really into that" should be enough in the moment.
  17. 1 point
    We will not play with inebriated people. A social drink will take the edge off a new meeting, a few drinks makes everything sloppy.
  18. 1 point
    While we have been know to have a drink, we never needed one to have a good time in the lifestyle.
  19. 1 point
    My wife and I met in college and have been married for almost 22 years. When we met I was the most jealous person you could possibly be and that continued up until our second or third year of marriage. I slowly started to notice I was aroused about the thought of her being a hotwife. Like others, she was totally against the idea but after seeing I was real, started warming up slowly, and I mean slowly, over the years. During my first deployment, she would role play some and very little online, but never any physical play. In fact my sex drive was at least three times than hers. When I came back home, she and I did a live Webcam and I was so turned on seeing all the attention she was getting. I was deployed again and still had this fetish strong. She found an old college buddy to soft play with. I called home and she told me about him and it drove us wild. Then she had an old friend that she gave a blow job to and some heavy flirting along with a small lesbian experience. She had no interest in anyone she didn't know or feel she had a connection with and I was just happy to get what I could. About another year and half things picked up steam again and she had an old friend she was hanging out with. They ending up messing around twice, and she actually had sex with him once. I was very aroused and couldn't believe after seven years of marriage, it finally happened. Things then got complicated mostly from me and her inexperience. She was trying to live out my fantasy and I wasn't very clear in what I wanted. Like an idiot would get mad thinking she was hiding things from me, when in fact I was supposed to find out that way. She let him get into her heart and mind more than she should have. I did more damage to a very good wife. She was only doing what I asked and doing it the best she could. Then she started feeling like she was used by this guy and the relationship between the two of them crumbled. I was so into the hotwife idea, I didn't realize how I was pushing her to talk about a painful experience until one night I pushed too far and made her feel like her telling me about it was more important than her feelings and thus starting a string of events that almost completely destroyed us. For the next three years, she still stayed with me, but we were far from good. Some days she would be ok, and others she couldn't look at me. There would be a few good days but I broke a good women. I couldn't fix it and thought we were going to split. One day things started to thaw and we started having a relationship once more. I never brought my fantasy up again and thought it was dead in the water. We had an anniversary and it went really well and when I got home after a four week business trip, I saw her miss me for the first time. I was relieved and even thought I still ran the thought through my head, never dared mention it at all. Unknown to me, she started a friendship with a male friend and became very attached to him. They had dinner together and she even kissed him, nothing more up to that point. I did find something on the computer, one blog she wrote that talked a little about it and didn't care if found out. I was floored but truthfully, I liked the idea. It was probably a month or two later we were having foreplay and she started hinting about it. She wasn't sure how I would take it since she was so hard on me about about the mistakes of the last time playing. She started hinting trying to get me to bring it up by asking what biggest fantasy was. I knew what she was getting at and finally I told her to have someone else touch you. We had the most incredible raw sex in years and all of a sudden we had passion too. She told me about her friend and we were having more sex than ever. We did it on trampolines, in my truck, and anywhere else we could. Marriage was good and exciting as it could be. She went to her friend's house a couple of times and gave him blowjobs before coming home and telling me. We would have mind-blowing sex. Her relationship with him dried up, but as soon as it did, a new friend was there to take his place. This was a game changer. He lived in another state. They chatted all the time, had phone sex, exchanged pictures and were really into each other. She planned a trip with him and they stayed a short distance from the house in a hotel, it was hot as hell to me. She went to his house a few times and ending up having sex probably five or six times after that. We took all our lessons from the bad experience and this one never has had any issues. The only thing she was comfortable doing was going solo and coming home to tell me. This went on about once a year for few years. She had an another old friend and went to stay with him for a few days where they had sex. There was a friend that came to see her and they stayed in a hotel here and had sex. Another friend from her hometown she only done soft play with. All these were fun but she didn't like the feeling she felt by telling me and I wanted so bad to watch it. She just had a trip to her hometown and met one of her fiends. They didn't do anything but talk, but when she got home, we had sex three times and sat up all night. We started discussing swing clubs and how fun they would be. She agreed to go and I found one and that is when a sexual awakening happened to her. I set up the account and thought we would probably go and if I was lucky I could watch her dance with someone and we talked about her kissing someone else. To my surprise, she took over from there, chatting and setting this up. She bought a short dress that a friend from the community helped her pick out. She was as hot as ever and we couldn't stop thinking about it She had never been as high sex drive as I am. In fact we would go two months with no sex and never more than twice a week. Since we had this conversation ten days ago, we have so much sex, we are both raw. It was so hot. We made it to the club and meet up with a single guy and a couple. The couple was nice but it fizzled out some. We took to the single guy and he danced with her, I danced with her, and at times we both danced and grinded on her. I thought this was going to be it, but was I ever wrong. I looked over and saw her deep kissing him and when we went to a place for privacy, she straddled him in her dress and they were making out. As he was eating her, she took my hands and rubbed them on her tits. Then I rubbed her clit and he fingered her. She even wanted me to hold her hair as she gave him a blowjob. I was in heaven and it was exactly how I thought it would be. No penetration that night, but it was the hottest thing I ever was involved in. We came home and had sex twice and every chance we can since. That was five days ago. She has found another couple we are going to meet tomorrow for dinner. We don't know how far it will lead but she and I are so excited. She even thinks things may happen and says she may want me to play with the other women. Not to mention, we are going to have a mfm with the guy from the club very soon. She had never been as high sex drive as I am. In fact we would go two months with no sex and never more than twice a week. Since we had this conversation ten days ago, we have so much sex, we are both raw. She told me she has never had this high of sex drive. When we aren't together we are masturbating two to three times a day. I have always fantasized about this and it seems like I wrote this script. I cannot not believe how fast it has moved in ten days. She now fantasizes about me watching her again and with another couple. It gets her going as much as it does me. It took twenty years to get to this point. There were a lot of mistakes and failures. We both learned and made the next one better. She is in control now and it is much fun. I love my Hotwife.
  20. 1 point
    I would say this is probably accurate from my perspective, but I don't say that with regards to women, as much as to my own sense of what I like in oral sex. In swinging situations, it can take a few sessions with another lady before it can get good, if it wasn't good to start with. The lady with whom I'm playing now happens do it in a way that I really, really like. She also really enjoys doing it, and her eagerness shows. Win-win. And now you give me pause in thinking about a past (thankfully once only) swing partner. She did a fair impression of a jack hammer on me. Mr. Happy did an about face and retreated to safety. Maybe she did it to not have to do it. Hmm. I love giving it because the woman I am with almost always thoroughly enjoys receiving it! I really get off on doing everything I can to please my play partner, and I know it's difficult for a woman to orgasm on vaginal sex alone.
  21. 1 point
    I gotta say I truly enjoy a thread where guys explain how a woman's mind works. It's super enlightening! I will give you three reasons we do not give into every sexual desire. Firstly, we absolutely have sexual desires we are just not ruled by them, we see the big picture and mostly what will go wrong. We have been taught to avoid the consequences our entire life. We have to watch out constantly for men trying to rape us, we have to watch out for men putting ruffies in our drinks, we have to watch out and avoid getting pregnant, we have to always be seen as being chaste and virginal or no man will want us, we need to watch what we wear because a man cannot be expected to control himself in the presence of excessive cleavage, or to much leg, never go out alone, cause a man might take advantage, etc. We are taught this stuff from a very early age. And before you say that stuff doesn't happen, I've been raped 3 times had 5 close calls and been ruffied 4 times and that doesn't count the times I spotted the ruffie before I took a sip. Most women have experienced at least one rape in their life. The second reason is the perception of a woman that fucks around. When a guy does it, they say oh that's just boys being boys, or he's sowing his wild oats. Or better yet, he couldn't be expected to control himself with her slutty attire. Women do not get such nice references. We are called sluts, whores, or hookers. If we get raped, we were asking for it. And if we press charges we are ruining some poor boys life. Lastly, sex is more personal for us, we are letting you inside of our body. Every thrust of your dick is INSIDE, of our body. That is extremely personal and it takes trust. So yes we like a relationship, cause we are giving up a lot of control in sex. We have to trust you will not get us pregnant. We have to trust that you won't try to put your dick in our ass without permission. We have to trust you will not become violent in bed, and that you'll stop when asked. We want a relationship cause we want to know who we are letting inside of our bodies.
  22. 1 point
    I prefer a man to cum in my mouth. The only way I'd let a man cum on me is if I can take a shower immediately after. Never on my face. I do not let men cum in my vagina without a condom.
  23. 1 point
    It would be nice to think that everyone who tries swinging enjoys the experience and incorporates it into their life. But experience shows that doesn’t happen, even when they have "done all the right things" in preparation for their first time. As you note Username 87, the two of you failed to keep a pre-play agreement to not do full swap. There are folks here on the board who have done similar things without causing a post-play problem, but there seems to be a consensus that mid-play renegotiations of agreed upon rules often causes post-play issues. Or even mid-play issues…) I’ve seen this happen to friends of mine, and it happened to me with a couple who were friends. In one case a couple I knew brought a lady friend in. There’d been no agreement the women would play with each other. But they did. By my friends’ account both ladies had a great time. But the next day their unicorn friend freaked out a bit. My own example was actually my first MFM. A couple of months previously the wife in the couple told me they had been talking about inviting a guy to join them in bed for a threesome. At a weekend sporting event we were all attending their hotel had over-booked, but I had a room reserved with two beds. I offered them the second bed. Only when we got to the room there was just one king bed. We got into bed with nightclothes. Then the wife said "This isn’t how we sleep at home" and pulled her nightie up over her head. After that there was way more sex than sleeping. Everyone had a great time. At the end of the event I went with them to their house and while the husband had to go to work the wife snd I continued to have sex. But the aftermath, when everyone’s ardor had cooled, almost wrecked their marriage. We all stayed good friends, but they never played as a couple again, with me or anyone else. (For a number of years the wife and I occasionally played.)
  24. 1 point
    Our friends brought it up. We knew they were swingers and always invited us to join. We laughed it off as a joke until the joke became reality. I think because it was friends it made the first time easier, not easy. I admit it was fun, Debbie will admit it now too even though I could tell she was having fun the second and third time. When our friends invited a third couple, Debbie was unsure and then gave her approval. I think our first thoughts were unfounded that swingers were a type. When we were finally alone afterwards she did say it was plenty of fun. At this point we will wait for trips to our friends for any more fun.
  25. 1 point
    I asked about this, my wife. She said that she couldn't say anything until she would watch at how this looked. We found some gay porno on dickhardon.com and found a moment when a man is sucking the dick of another man. She said that she didn't see anything terrible in this. I know that during some swingers' party, a man can suck the dick of another man, even though both of them are straight. I don't think that their women are disturbed by the thing what are they doing. Otherwise, they wouldn't enjoy it.
  26. 1 point
    Personally I quite enjoy seeing two men together. I find gay porn hot! Personal preference. I think it is important for us not to judge others. If you like it partake, if not don't. There is no need to malign each other about it.
  27. 1 point
    It gets both of us hot to watch the other play with the same sex.
  28. 1 point
    I’d like to suck a trans woman’s dick, but I don’t think I would enjoy sucking a guy’s dick. My wife would find it hot though.
  29. 1 point
    Ok so update. We were on Aff for a few months. The wife talked to a few men. The ones that met our needs were flakes or didn't show or just lied. But we finally found a single male, lives with in 30 min from us. The wife and him talked for a few weeks, I was kept in the loop of all the conversations. We finally decided to meet and this is how it went. We got to his apparentment, he welcomed us with open arms. The wife and I sat on the couch together as he sat across on a recliner. We just chatted for a short period of time had a drink and I could see he was interested in my wife. Thank God he broke the ice. He politely asked if she felt comfortable if could sit beside her. He praised her on how he outfit. She was wearing a black skirt, black sheer top and black thigh highs. He began to caress her leg with one hand. I asked him if her legs were soft and he replied yes. We were both touching and kissing my wife on the neck, breast etc...and he kindly asked my wife if he could kiss her. She replied yes. I couldn't believe this was happening. With one hand on the back of her head he pulled her forward and they locked lips. My eyes could not unfocus from both their lips and tongs meshing together. I felt slightly taken back but was very turned on. All three of us played on the couch for a few minutes and as things got hotter i asked him to stay seated and asker her to stand. With her standing in front of him I slowly removed her skirt, it slowly fell to her feet, I then removed her panties and top. We eventually made our way to the bedroom were she dropped to her knees and began to sucked his well endowed penis. We ended up on the bed were he slicked her pussy as i was playing with her upper extremities, she was a little disappointed with the performance pussy linking. He asked if he could have sex with her and we both looked at each other and said we were comfortable . He was a gentleman and put on a condom. They began to have sex. He took her in six different position and each time she moaned and screamed. This went on for 45 minutes pounding her. I was pleased as i couldn't put on a performance as such. Once he finished up i then took my wife. It took me a few minutes to get ride of the stage frieght but eventually i was able to get fully errect and cum. We all cleaned up and sat in the living room and chatted for a few more minutes and eventually said our good night. He shook my hand and she gave him a soft kiss on the lips. Today after many hot discussions with my wife we will continue to see him. Thats my eventful night.
  30. 1 point
    Shooting inside her is the reason we play within a closed group of married couples. We both, all actually, much prefer it and the danger is taken away. Not only do I like the direct feel of a vagina, but also sloppy seconds.
  31. 1 point
    You are my type of woman. I have a great attraction to good looking cock. I love sucking with a woman. I have suck until my mouth hurts.
  32. 1 point
    You know many many many people in the world would/could/do say the exact same thing about swinging/partner sharing/infidelity etc. Everything is a matter of degrees and here in this community I hope a pray we can all be open to others without judgement regardless of our/their unique kinks. My wife loves men sucking each other. Don't know why exactly, but I also don't care why. She gets off and that's all that matters. Is it for everyone? Nope. But I'm not into ass licking either, whether with a man or woman. But I don't judge those that enjoy that activity and I would never suggest it isn't desirable in this setting.
  33. 1 point
    I think it’s expansive to accept there are many sexual preferences, many of which are not appealing to us, that are valid and should not be scorned or criticized. Down the road, some of them could become of interest. Or not. We had a nice discussion with a couple on a cruise who were into BDSM. We’re not really interested in it, but they told us what a night out is like for them, we told them what a night out is like for us and we all learned new things. Open mindedness to new ideas is a good thing. You don’t have to do it, like it or watch it, but it’s nice to be supportive of other people’s interests and not make them feel weird or aberrant. I don’t think you’re a hypocrite. You are entitled to your preferences. Not a problem at all.
  34. 1 point
    I personally have no desire to see that. We were playing at parties and have never seen it occur within the guys in our group. It also has not come up in any conversations. I try to keep an open mind to what others do and would not disparage guys who are into it. So here I am, a participant of same sex play saying two females is fun but not wanting to watch two males. Does that make me a hypocrite?
  35. 1 point
    You da man. A business colleague had a romp with a mother and daughter at Club Med.
  36. 1 point
    This is Mrs. Idaho. A few months ago a bunch of my coworkers got together for drinks. I got quite drunk and kissed two females. I liked it. OMG. What have I done? were my thoughts. Had to go home and tell the husband. Did I cheat? (We've been married 35 + years) But man it was hot. He was so shocked. In a good way. And very turned on. In the last couple of years with an empty nest we have reawakened our sex life and are like a couple of kids with new toys...each other and toys, sub Dom, light bondage and spanking. Now the thought of adding extra players to the mix has blown our minds. We have chatted up some couples on sls and going to our first meet and greet next weekend. Then the following weekend traveling to Portland to a club. One night is kink night. We want to learn. Hoping to pop our swinging cherry real soon. We have been doing our due diligence in reading, learning, lurking and above all most importantly talking. We are doing this to have fun. Nothing is broken so not fixing our marriage, not missing anything in our relationship, not jealous, and neither one of us pushing the other into this. I know the thread was which partner brought up swinging? After a long winded explanation it was me the wife.?
  37. 1 point
    I label myself bi on these boards because I have had oral sex with men (2) in the context of swinging with my wife. In our online ads I list myself as straight. Why? Becsues we are not really looking for a bi-male. If it happens thats ok but the main thing we are looking for is couples and single guys for MFM. I also understand jcbicouple's reluctance to play with bi-curious people. My wife has had a few dissappointing expierences with "bi-curious" women. Most bi-curious woman are just doing it for their husband and have no real interest in it themselves. If you are bi you are bi, you may be a bi-virgin but you are still bi. If you are not sure if you want to have sex with someone of the same gender you are probably not bi. curiouscpl0105k said if that is true you are bi not just curious.
  38. 1 point
    Your post have a lot of true statements, however there are couples out there where they are both bi or the male is bi or to the very least curious. Our situation is that I am bi, wife is more bi tolerant (meaning if the mood hits her she will have sex with a woman) and when we play we generally look for single men that are at the least willing to experiment with it. We have also found the joy of a few couples where both are bi curious and that has made for some memorable events. We have been meeting with one couple over the past few years where she was bi and he was straight, but recently he admitted that he wanted to experiement with bi sex and had discussed it with his wife, and when the opportunity for us to meet again comes along, we've agreed to play some mm and ff and then one for all and all for one. Bisexual couples are out there, they are just harder to find. A great number of men are willing to experiement. They simply need to be comfortable with their partner the other partners and good dicussion between all parties is necessary for it all to come together. Best wishes on finding the situation out there. Be patient. It can happen
  39. 1 point
    My husband and I are in search of a couple with a bi-male and find the same things you mentioned to be true. We seem to be a bit of the odd couple out in a few ways mainly b/c we are new to this, this meaning we are bi-virgins as well, also we have been together for almost 5 years w/ no other sexual partners included, and we both want to get all of our desires to explore our own bi-curious sides out of the way before we think about the swinging/swapping aspect of things. Sorry for running on so w/ that! The thing is that we REALLY want to do all of this together...which is why we so want to find another couple who want the same FF play, MM play before other things. It does seem that there MUST be others out there who want to do the same...but we've yet to find any of them.
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