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We have friends in rural TX. They drive to events in Dallas and make a weekend out of it. We met them on a Bliss cruise. Many of the cruisers come from rural areas that do not have many swingers.

Hooboy. Ok, throwing kids into the mix...that complicates things. Upfront disclosure; I have an ex with whom I had a daughter. I could write for hours and barely scratch the surface on how toxic the relationship was with my daughter's mother, and how it remained so for the entirety of my daughter's childhood. I won't bore you with the details. But, know that it biases me. There is no way...NO WAY...that I would ever have sex with her again. Even if she was an absolute angel with a body to match, and I never had any reason to suspect the slightest problems would arise..Even if she herself said she was a swinger, and had been for many years...Even if she had qualified for a top secret security clearance with the military....there is absolutely NO way I would ever let her in on my secret. The main, over powering reason is; you could make your kids an unwitting victim in all of this. It's not fair to them in any respect. That you (the two of you) have been able to maintain a cordial relationship with him for 10 years is an achievement in and of itself. There are many people who wish that would be the case with their exes. Why screw it up? My wife and I did talk about your potential scenario (before we knew about the kids being involved). My wife had a more supportive attitude towards it, and said that it could work out well and didn't immediately see a problem. I'll talk with her again, noting the kids, and see what she says. I'll report back. Meanwhile...ok you're in a small town and are worried about disclosure. I get that. Consider though; anyone on a swinger site who is from your general area is facing the same general need for discretion that you are facing. I mean, what can they do? Tell people around town "Hey, I'm signed up for this swinger site and guess who I found there? Bill and Jane! Can you believe it?" Nobody would do that. They'd be blowing themselves in. Nevertheless, I understand the need for discretion. 3-4 hours isn't THAT far to Dallas. Also consider that single men in the lifestyle that might be play partners could be willing to travel 1.5-2 hours to meet you someplace in the middle.

You *definitely* need to put more time and thought into it. No matter how civil things have been for the past ten years, what if the whole situation goes “south” on you and he decides to out you to the kids?

From a wife who doesn’t want her picture plastered on any site, I don’t understand your post. If you want reactions to the pictures we have a gallery that you can post to. This forum is for advice and the sharing of experiences. Regardless of what the pictures are swinging is more than a picture, it is a connection of people. Nobody is preventing you from posting, guessing you thrive on feedbacks if you need to post her pictures on multiple sites. I haven’t read the responses to your question, you seem to want attention and feedback so don’t blame anyone giving an opinion.

Perhaps your wife gave you some sort of global permission to share these images with others, in which case fine. But as a general principle, in my opinion it’s a substantive violation of trust to post nude photos of one’s spouse/partner without their explicit permission to do so, even if one has protected the subject’s anonymity by not showing their face. (On the infrequent occasions that I have shared nudes or sexually explicit photos of my wife with others, I always get her permission first.)

Thanks for not saying, "stranger!"

I never thought about him getting sideways and maybe saying something to the kids. They are both grown and moved out but I would be devastated if they found out. This is seeming more and more like a ticking bomb the more we discuss. Thank you all for the information and upfront answers.

We never played with them. That would have been wrong. It was just always awkward listening to others talk about what a great couple they are. Thinking back on them, i'll bet his wife knew but chose not to say anything to him.

We would agree with this!

Wouldn’t play with them. But, unless We were close with the wife we would not inform her either - it’s not our place.

We would not get involved with the cheating couple, but we would have no interest in “snitching,” either. We recently found out that in a swinging couple we know, the husband has a girlfriend and the wife knows about it. We find that odd, but others in our circle of swinging friends do not. Different strokes for different folks.

Swinging isn't cheating...this example is. We would hate to be put in this position, but would tell the husband that it has to stop or you would inform his wife. Eventually the wife is going to figure it out and we wouldn't want any part of the wrath that is destined to follow.

Over the top? In 1975, the women of Iceland went on strike for equal rights. 90% of women walked off their jobs and homes, shutting down the entire country. The men could barely cope. Five years later, Iceland elected their first female president. Now Iceland has the highest gender equality in the world. In the USA, 80% of Americans support the woman’s right to choose. It’s fair to say that at least 80% (if not more) of women feel this way as well. They could easily be heard just like the women of Iceland nearly 50 years ago. The clergy, politicians and judges think they hold all the power when in fact the people do if they choose to use it.

Honestly if you are just here to have guys say dirty things about your wife which I assume is more for you then her I would suggest you check out Ourhotwives forum! You will get a lot more horny dudes commenting there. This site is more suited for swinging activity.

I'm not sure that is what this forum is for.

I assure you that no woman regardless of age or appearance will ever have any problem finding lots of guys that would be interested in them in the lifestyle! It is way more challenging for the male half in a couple. Regardless of how hot the wife is the male is not going to be getting some based on her alone. Something a lot of men do not seem to get and are not willing to put the effort into changing. Nine out of ten times we decide no on a couple it is, because of the male who does nothing to sell themselves or make themselves more desirable to other women.

Ok so here's the reality. It doesn't matter how hot she is (and she IS!). It's what she thinks of herself. Our society places absolutely enormous pressure on women to adhere to a fantasy of the 'ideal woman' in appearance, and anything less means they are ugly. Few women who are 20 can even achieve this fantasy ideal, and virtually none past 40 could so without a few staff members, and a non-stop workout routine. It's just not realistic nor attainable. Time after time after time again, I see posts on this forum where the wife of the couple feels negative about her appearance, and doesn't want to dabble in the lifestyle because she's certain she's going to be thought of as ugly, and nobody would want her. Ok so problem one; their husbands are the only men in the world idiotic enough to find them attractive? Obviously that's false. Problem two; it doesn't matter what you look like. You could look like Jeri Ryan as Seven of Nine (see Baconhead's avatar above) and some men would go for someone else. All you can do is put your best foot forward, look, act, and feel your best and let potential play partners decide if they want to engage you or not. The ones that don't are saving you time. Third; a woman with the best body and the worst personality is...at least for me...going to find I'm not interested in the slightest. A woman with below average looks but a great, engaging personality is going to find I'm very interested. So, you can't convince her. Let her read the replies and maybe she'll make up her own mind differently than she does now. Another possibility; go to a swinger meet and greet. You don't have to play, nor is there any pressure to play. Just go and meet people. I think you'll find your wife draws a lot of attention, and she will notice it. It's a safe environment within which to try that. If you want to try something a bit more risque, have her dress up nicely and sit down at a bar in an upscale hotel. You can be there, but not with her at the bar. Go get a booth or table somewhere you can see her, but not right next to her. You're her safety net. Chances are, traveling businessmen will be attracted to her like a set of keys to a supermagnet. She doesn't have to leave with them of course, and the two of you can have a signal that she can make which asks you to join her if a guy is being a problem. Like, setting her purse in a particular way, or turning out from the bar on her stool.

Hi, I'm 46 and my wife is 50. We have no kids. We've been married now for 13 years. We've loved every minute of it, and I think we have a good relationship. Since we married I have remained completely monogamous. The problem is this: I'm bisexual. Before she and I met, I had several experiences with other men that I found really fulfilling. In fact, they were some of the best sexual experiences in my life. Don't misunderstand. I *love* women. I love, and am still attracted to, my wife. But I'm also attracted to men. To give you some idea, when I watch porn, about 40% of the time I watch gay porn. In the last few years, more and more I've wanted to act on those feelings. So, considering that I like both sexes, I'm thinking one possibility would be to explore swinging with her as a way to meet those needs without simply cheating on her. Is this a common issue? What have others done? Thanks.

I can say truthfully I would not want to be a TOP. My interest is only in being a bottom so I could feel what a woman feel when a guy cums. I would also be interested in giving head to see what a woman goes through... My massage therapist rims me sometimes and man alive does it send me through the roof.

Oh crap... I'm a poster boy I would have to say that the only thing that might make me interested is if I were looked in solitary confinement for the rest of my life and could learn to blow myself... But - I doubt I'd push it. I already give some wicked hand jobs to myself

funcple what are you on about??? the OP is asking people who are into bi play what it is exactly they are into! oral, top, bottom, versatile, finger play etc!! If you are not into bi play you should refrain from posting...esp such anti-bi comments! You are sounding like you are threatened by the thought of bi play!

First, where's your massage therapist? LOL Second, I have never thought about it, but to each his own.