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I concur with njbm. Ok, this was a deeply traumatic event for him. Ok, there's been lasting repercussions. Ok, he's having a very difficult time getting the images out of his head. All of that is understandable. There's recognition there is a serious problem. To me, what is not understandable is being unwilling to do anything about it. Allowing one consensual incident like this destroy a marriage is unconscionable. That should be the very, very, very last thing to consider. Get him to counseling. If he's not open to counseling, and absolutely refuses to go, ...I don't know how to say this without coming off as highly critical...the burden is squarely on his shoulders, and it is perhaps fortunate you haven't had kids with him.

Hopefully, you can go to counseling. Something is off with his perspective. This event should be a hiccup, not a marriage ender. Someone else may have to bring your husband to arrive at that conclusion.

Oooo Baby You’re the Best 😝 The reality is I encouraged her to go enjoy. If he was better it would be better for her. I wanted to have a great time. So what she dated him in a past life, she chose me as her forever. I think he is an honest, great and fun man and his wife is a terrific woman. We could be vanilla friends and have a good time with them.

I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for over a year now, and even though we haven’t known each other long we’re deeply in love and want to get married some day. However, we are also pretty kinky and have been considering threesomes quite a lot lately. I just want to ask about people’s opinions on having an MFM threesome with him and his best friend- I was a virgin before my bf so it would definitely be a big step for us, but I think we’re both into it? He’s bisexual but definitely leaning towards females, and he wouldn’t want to engage sexually directly with his friend, just for them both to do it with me. I’ve never been particularly attracted to the friend (I’ve only met him twice) but I think the threesome idea is fun (I’d like to do it as well as my boyf wanting to do it) and I think he’d be a chill person to do it with (I feel like a random man has potential to be a little creepy). Should I go for it? Or is it all a mistake?

Oh, no! Say it isn't so! But... but... the story seemed so... believable! NOT Lol...

Just as long as his wife remains involved in every aspect. We never recommend playing with people that we have had 'feelings' for in the past, but since you have moved past that, I would just make sure that your wife and her husband are not communicating without his wife also being in the loop (and the same goes for you and his wife)...just a safety thing. So why haven't the four of you played together? There's really nothing better than having friends that you can do vanilla and 'pineapple' things with.

We agree that this isn't a marriage ender at this time. Just don't give up. If you start thinking that it is over, then it probably will end up being over. He has asked for time apart, so give him time alone. This doesn't mean that either of you are moving out, just taking time apart. Let him have the guest room and some space. Get into some counseling and start working on whatever the issues are, but let him know that you are choosing him, staying with him while you together work through the issues. It doesn't matter whose at 'fault' here, just that you stay a team and he knows that you are there for him. Love, trust and communication...let him know that he has all three and then let him come to you. When is your first appointment?

He has agreed to counceling and we have found one and we are going to see one that's why him saying we need some "time apart" surprised me but we are gonna talk to somebody. And yes I know it sound contradictory and I sure as hell don't want him to go but I feel like he has checked out in a way and it seems easier for him to do so.

It's unfortunate things have continued to sour. You two dove headlong into the deep water when you weren't even close to being ready, and now your relationship is floundering under the waves. I hope the novices are paying attention to this thread, because there is an important lesson to be learned from your experiences. Concerning your posts, you may not have noticed the irregularities, inconsistencies, and contradictions. It may be helpful for them to be pointed out to you: You state, for example, your husband is "... basically open to counseling..." is not "blaming me (you)... " and simply "... wants to take some time apart." Then, you finish by declaring your marriage "... is coming to an end." Those statements do not add up. At this point, it is not clear if your husband has given up the relationship... or you have? Lastly, do your relationship a BIG favor and completely ignore the armchair, pretend "therapists" who are laying all the blame at your husband's feet. That perspective is both wrongheaded and destructive. It takes two to tango. Your husband's feelings and actions are not happening in a vacuum and are not separate from yours. You both foolishly decided to jump into swinging without having even a basic appreciation for the risks to your relationship. And you both are responsible for the consequences to your relationship. If either, or both, of you have decided to toss in the towel, nothing anyone is going to say that is going to change the trajectory. On the other hand, if both of you are serious about getting some help, you may be able to salvage the relationship. In fact, with immediate interventive, professional counseling, this crisis may eventually lead you to have a stronger relationship (I know, that seems improbable at this juncture but, I assure you, it can happen.) Now, pick up the phone and schedule a visit with a marriage counselor. The sooner the better. And good luck.

I would suggest joining one of the swinging sites in the sponsors at the top of the page to find what you are looking for! Live cam stuff is not our thing, but you will find others on those sites that are into that sort of thing. This site is more to talk about swinging subjects, stories and info. Good luck.

The are some sincere inquiries made on the board by honest individuals, but by my observation there are for sure a large proportion of posts by trolls or fanaticizers. The former generate good discussions that illuminate the many aspects of the lifestyle. But even the latter, goofy and fictional as they may be, still sometimes lead to useful comment strings.

Hello There, I did hesitate before I write to you but I'm the male half of couple and one day I was in the same situation as your husband and I did react somehow just like him!!! Let me explain to you how I felt maybe you will understand how to deal with situation. We met this lovely couple and things was going very well both having fun and enjoying our time but as some did explain to you seening your Mrs having fun with someone else for the 1st time it has it's effect on some men for the first time but when I saw my wife getting the same pleasure I'm giving her ( even better) I felt threatened felt unsecured felt like OMG she can do this!!! As much as I was enjoying the company of the other guy wife which she was doing her best to keep me occupied, I didn't see all her efforts I've only seen my Mrs opening her legs for another man and I did forget all the times we did wait for this to happen and I just simply stopped and left just like your husband did! Wouldn't deny it took me time to understand but you need to make him feel your heart fully with him and will always be, you will need him to feel he is the main man in your life and no one can take over his place, make him understand that your climax happen even when you play with your self and you wouldn't need another man to make you happy cause he is the only one can do but there lots of things can make any human been climax and do not forget to give him what he love the most ( lots of wild sex the way he likes it ) during this recovery time and he should be fine after little while and I can tell you he will be the one who organise it after this time all the best🤞

I was thinking about the thread last evening as I dozed off to sleep. What stuck with me is how respectful (I try to be) the group is in terms of the communication and what and how things are said. There have to be people on this board on both 'sides' of the abortion issue and certainly there are many many different opinions in the gray area as well. Here we have ahighly charged multifaceted issue and yet, the discussion is almost always respectful. I wonder if that is due to the fact that as individuals and couples enjoying this activity, we are very clear about respecting ourselves, our significant others and those we 'rub elbows' with. I often hear people new to nudity and swinging mention how wonderful it is to be with others in these lifestyles. People are real, honest, open, fun and inclusive. I guess I'm not surprised, but I am grateful. Thank you all. Love all, love well and keep it real.

If you were a bisexual woman and your husband were straight, I'd say this was very common in swinging. Since the situation is reversed, I can only guess. Male homosexuality tends to be quite closeted among many in the lifestyle. Female homosexuality is encouraged. There is a huge double standard, and you should be prepared to find that lots of swingers are not friendly to this situation. It will probably be more difficult for you to find couples to swing with, but I'll bet you'll find couples with the same needs and desires. The crux of it, though, is that whatever works for you and your wife is what works for you. Hopefully you have spoken to her about this.

It is universally known that the #1 fantasy of men is to be with two women or watch two women together. Dnd don’t get me wrong it is a wonderful thing, but I was wondering: Ladies, you seem to have no problem being with other ladies in an fmf or fmfm for the most part, but for guys, totally different story. Is there penis paranoia? Why will guys ask woman to eat another woman but avoid giving head? I was that that way myself until she said I want to see you sucking a cock. We started with a strap-on and went from there. Ladies what do you think, do you want this or not? Guys you know you would suck your own if you could so let hear it. Look forward to hearing the comments.

Wow. There does seem to be hostility on this thread. I'm not 100% sure why, but it is there. I do wish to clarify a few things, though. Firstly, she does indulge my fantasies, and I do this for her. We like to hear each other's fantasies, talk them out, and if they are at all possible, fulfill them. For instance, the club where we like to go. We hear about the club from a friend. I was keenly interested; she was reluctant. After a few discussions we went, and we both had a great time. Should I now chastise myself for "pressuring her"? I don't think so. wW listen; we try. As of yet, nothing I've mentioned has been too kinky for her, nothing that caused her to stop and say "no." During one of our talks, she asked me if I'd go down on another guy. I said, "NO!" But I have an hypothesis, as I often do: never say never when talking sex. I've done things now that ten years ago I would've said never. Who knows how you'll feel in ten years? Even you who are totally against it may some day try it. I'm not trying to cover for my own desire to suck some guy off. I don't know if I could do it. But I know I'll keep an open mind and consider it. If the situation arises, who knows? I don't know why there is such a stigma that goes along with this act.

My first reaction, sadly, was "absolutely not." But she indulges in nearly all my fantasies, so I felt wrong in denying her this one. So, now I've thought about it. I've gone through "no, never," to "maybe," to "someday," to "I think I can do it." Truth be told, if it is not your fantasy, and it is not hers, no problem. In fact, I'm not even sure why you'd voice an opinion on this thread if neither desires this. But if it is the guys and not the girls, or the girls and not the guys, who would indulge, or take one for the team, so to speak? I think that is the heart of this thread. That's where I stand.

Yeah, I can sympathize...my dick is too short for me to "suck my own", too.

I beg your pardon! I would NOT "suck my own" even if I could! The mere thought of having to change my own diapers a few years down the road is highly repulsive to me. Under NO circumstances would I suck my own dick!

Well, y'all can see how naive I am at this advanced age. I thought bi sex with a male did necessarily mean anal intercourse. When I was licking Mrs. Alura's clit while another guy was fucking her, I had no idea that was a bi act. I admit to being a bit uncomfortable when his balls were covering my nose but it was mostly because I was suffocating. Once we turned around, and I could breathe, it worked out pretty well. When Mrs. Alura was trying to stuff two cocks in her mouth at the same time, that didn't seem bi to me either. Thanks for the education, y'all. Should I go change our profile to "bi"? In all seriousness, I was doing these things for Mrs. Alura, not for the other man. Both his pleasure and mine were immaterial to me at the time, and I think that's the key to assessing one's bi-ness. But hell, I'm just a hick Okie. Mr. Alura

As my ol' Pappy used to say, 2N, "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth, Son." If something nice comes your way, don't ask why, just be grateful. Mr. Alura

I am inclined to side with Miss Piggy on this one. But I am not a man, and I have no idea what it is to be a man. So my opinion is only that! So now I want to ask, if it is the case that men are big, hairy, and yucky, then why are all of us sleek, smooth, and sexy girls doing it with you guys? later, 2N