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Menopause brings on change in a woman’s life and sexual being. Menopause has allowed us to have fun without the fear of pregnancy fully aware that pregnancy isn’t the only fear we have. A personal note, I have always been well lubricated naturally during sex. Rocky has made comments how wet I would get. Oral sex would leave him with a shining wet face, a thing we would laugh about. Never thought about any pain on insertion. I never had problems alone or with a toy except a wet spot on the bed. My body is changing, not my desires. I noticed my own lubrication has changed. It hasn’t been a major problem just a change I figure goes along with hot flashes. I recently experienced some pain from the dryness on penetration that alleviated during sex which caused concern. I am thinking about lubricants and gels. Any advice? I know about KY but being honest how do you use it?

We have had the same issues. There are many good water base and silicone lubes there. Experimentation is necessary. They vary as to lasting power, taste, possibly allergic reaction. We have sampled some from friends as a starter. One other issue that you may get also. The vaginal tissues can start to thin a bit. This can cause minor tearing. There are some good prescription treatments for that. If you OB/Gyn is too focused on the baby making end of things that probably will not change. It might be time to shop around a bit.

In trying to meet new couples, we’ve run into a familiar pattern lately: 1. Contact established on SLS by us or them (doesn’t seem to matter which) 2. Both couples say they like the other couple’s face pics 3. Both couples say they’re interested in meeting (couples are close geographically) 4. We ask if they’re available on a specific date or a specific weekend 5. [no response] Most of these couples have certs, so at least those seem to be actual couples. What’s going on here? Are we doing something wrong? Is it too much to expect a yes, no, or “we don’t know yet” instead of silence after they say they want to meet?

Nasty lesions.

I think alot of husbands are gung ho, ask their wives, get shot down, end of story.

Running into same problem ready to just give-up

Greetings and thanks for bringing up such an important topic. What follows is general commentary and not medical advice, so see your healthcare professional for personal care. With that disclaimer, I speak as a physician who has seen the problem inside and outside the LS. 1. The advice on plenty of lubricant is correct. I recommend—and we use—only natural product lubricant (see for example the Sliquid organic products) that are unflavored etc. We also recommend and use “lube launcher” to make sure that the entire vaginal vault is well coated. Yes, it makes that much difference. 2. Hormonal changes are inevitable. Provided that you have no contraindications, you have access to local or systemic treatments. Some women look at the risk benefit ratio of systemic hormone replacement therapy and choose it, at least for a while. Others go directly to local (topical) therapy, either estrogen cream or the estrogen “ring”. The creams are introduced into the vagina with an “applicator”. While they work, they can be messy. The “ring” can be thought of as a soft silicone ring that releases a small amount of estrogen continuously for 90 days. Again, this is a matter of conversation with your healthcare provider. Our personal experience started with an HRT product called tibolone that had especially favorable properties (a “side effect” is that it tends to increase libido). After a decade or so, we thought it was time to go off HRT. We tried the estrogen cream, it was too messy and inhibited spontaneity. The ring has been perfect. Soreness is gone, vaginal tissues have recovered their lush texture, wetness, and sweet taste. Adjacent vulvar tissues are also less prone to cracking. Bottom line, see your healthcare professional. Do not be embarrassed. You are in the vast majority of women who want to continue enjoying sex but face normal aging changes. This issue constitutes a large fraction of post menopausal OB/GYN practices and is fairly easily addressed to everyone’s satisfaction.

Kathy and I are in our mid-‘70s and still have six regularly — intercourse four or five times a week. For at least the past decade we have used lubes for penetration. After trying a number of alternatives Kathy has settled on good old KY personal lube. After a bit if foreplay and as I prepare to enter her, Kathy squeezes out about an inch from the tube onto her finger and reaches into her vagina to spread it around. Then she squeezes a bit more onto her fingers and applies it to the head and shaft of my penis. She has a pleasingly tight vagina and my erect penis is on the wide side, but she almost never experiences even a twinge of discomfort as I enter. And on the very rare occasions that occurs I just stop pressing in momentarily. I haven’t had sex with anyone else since the onset of the pandemic, but before that I attended parties where I had intercourse with numerous women, most of them middle-aged or "young" elderly. By my observation a wise concession to having intercourse with older vaginas is to thrust a bit gently — hard pounding often causes discomfort for a woman — and not to carry on for too long. More than ten minutes of thrusting, even gently, is likely to cause an older woman discomfort. With Kathy, who prefers to orgasm with a vibrator, I ask her periodically if she’s ready for me to cum. When she says yes, I do so quickly.

We keep Astroglide liquid and Astroglide gel on our night stands. We do not need to use all the time (Queen has had menopause and is mostly through it except for occasional hot flashes) but do when we need to. If She wants a quick first plunge, all in all at once (something she really enjoys) I most always use the jell on me first. We are still very active at the club but she has backed way off on playing. Just has lost her interest. But we personally are still very active with each other. Normally a daily activity for us. Although the playful hour of fun playing with each other has all but stopped. Menopause. She used to be very active. Almost too regularly out of control. but in a good way. Now, rarely. But we are very sexual with each other. It all seems different woman to woman.

For what it's worth - Laying out the erotic massage - step by step, blow by blow, is spoiling the fun for others. Part of the excitement of the erotic massage is not knowing exactly what is going to happen. Just my two cents.

We had three couples over for the weekend – wahoooo! It was a fun naked weekend. We have this amazing upper sun room on the east side of the house that no one can see into, or so we thought. A new young couple moved in about 7 months ago. They are a fun couple and I’ve become good friends with the wife. She is how I found out about their attic window. Her husband discovered it Saturday while up cleaning an area for a writing area. He is an amateur writer. After taking off all the weather insulation, cleaning it, oiling the tracks, the window opens. You can see and hear everything going on in our so called private sun room. So this is how she discovered her husband is very interested in bisex. All of us had been going at it since Friday. We wives were taking a break encouraging the men to put on a show for us, which they did. Our neighbor saw it all. His wife climbed up to find him, penis in hand, watching and listening. She said they could hear all the sex talk as well as the groans. She was able to step up on a chair quietly enough to peer over him and see what all the commotion was about. She said she nearly fell. Her husband was jerking off to men sucking cock & F ing each other in the a**. She climbed down walking up behind him reaching around helping him as they listened to the sex. She moved them closer so she could watch with him asking/telling him, he liked this didn’t he. Then asked what he liked the best, the sucking, being sucked, F ing, or the getting F ed in the a** by a real cock? She told me the sucking cock and getting F ed in the a**. He came on their hands and all over his pants. She said they kissed and she went back down the ladder. She sat as he took his time coming down. Calmly they discussed it. It was new to her but not a shock; they play along these lines with strapons. She asked if he wanted to “go there?” He said that’d only ever happen is she was all on board, wanted it to happen, made it happen, it is not something he needed. Today she and I were out on our deck and she told me all. I was embarrassed, apologetic, and concerned. She as okay though didn’t know where to go from here. I asked her where she wanted to go; her husband had left it up to her. She told me she was going to have to investigate it more but at least she knew. She appeared collected.

Yes. We run across this often where one or the other comes out and their mate is all mixed up about it but fair is fair. Take your time to process it, no hurry, let him know. Talk openly about it all, work through it. When I begin the push for my husband to experience things with me it took a very long time for him to even except what I was into much less go along with it. Certain things are bound to happen when you have multiple people having sex, attitudes and desires will change over time. As much as I love sex with my husband and as good as it is, I still get off the most with the men and us going at it. So nowadays, the more we can wives can get the men to do, then harder I orgasm while doing anything with my husband.

I messaged you all but please any new people - simply message me instead of posting here. Now let's get back on topic. Our newest neighbor, a tiny little thing, cute as can be, perky, fit, with a very attractive husband, came up to me asking for help. Among other things my neighbor asked me if she should ask her husband if he was bisexual. I asked her, are you? She said – it certainly turns her on. We talked for quite a while and many more times after that building quite the relationship. I enjoy talking sex with her from her fresh young perspective. Months later jerking her husband off while dildoing him she had him so turned on that she asked, “Oh my goodness, you love sucking down your cum when I feed it & getting your ass fucked so much wouldn’t you love a bunch of guys fucking your mouth and ass all day filling you full of their cum?” He said YES! That’s how she found out for certain. She told me she fucked and jerked him 4 more times talking about bisex, sharing cocks, cum, and getting his ass fucked and cum filled. So we may have a new younger couple joining us one day…

My wife absolutely loves to watch me with a guy, and she has seen me suck cocks, kiss several, and top one of our regular lovers. She will usually lay back and watch us and masturbate while we play...it's pretty hot watching her too...LOL I have met with two of them several times without her and she loves to hear about it later...gets her sooo hot.

I am very turned on when I watch Brian playing with another man. It is very erotic to see them sucking each others cock and I usually join in on the fun after a few minutes!

My wife is highly aroused by male/male sexual play. She usually can't keep from joining in. We have received a number of responses from the female member of couples who want to see male on male sexual play, sometimes for the first time. It can be quite arousing. Even when they want just to watch, they often end up getting so aroused they join right in. It's much more fun to have my wife with me when there is man play. It really broadens the sexual horizons.

Oh, great…😳🙁