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Our children although much younger, live in our poly family and are aware of the situation. We are extremely careful, more than vanilla parents, not to expose them to the sexual aspects of the adults' relationships, but they do know that they have more than two parents who care for them all. I was concerned that eventually they would want to know who their biological parents are and the complications that could follow from that. They guessed who their bio parents are, we confirmed it, and there were no complications around it. The sibling rivalry is there, but nothing about bio parentage. (Our oldest was amused when I told her you know who your father is, but not your mother.) I expect that the teenage years will be hard to navigate, but up to this point we have not heard once, "You're not my daddy/mommy!" We each strive to outdo the other in good parenting of all the children, and I hope that each child having the additional resources of a second father and two other mothers will be good for them as teenagers. We adults are really quite different in talents and approaches to life, so our children feel that they can go to the parent they feel is most supportive of them when faced with a situation. The big unknown is how their attitude toward sex will develop. They will definitely figure out that except for the two men, we are all intimate. Hopefully, like any other family, the kids will see that the totality of our relationships are respectful and loving. We do not an will not do anything to reveal to the kids that we occasionally had/have other sex partners outside the family, although as another poster stated, it is good for young adults to learn that sex and love are not necessarily tied together, and that they need to be in control of that aspect of their lives.

It’s “hard” for a man to perform unless he is physically attracted, even with Vitamin V. There have been women we know in the lifestyle who I like personally, but could not do the deed due to lack of attraction. It is either there or not there. Difficult to explain.

Hair. I want to have sex with a woman, not a pre-pubescent girl, thank you very much. However, there is nothing wrong with a nice trim.

I want to see my wife get gangbanged. It is a fantasy of mine. Have any other husbands wanted to also see this? Are there any women out there who also fantasize about it? How many men should there be? Any suggestions? Did you enjoy it if you did engaged in one and what did your partner think afterward?

Only once?

We women in our poly family like keeping some hair, both on ourselves (a quick trim is easy) and on the others (I actually like the feel of Clair's and Lora's pubic hair on my face when doing oral). The guys just like pussy.

For all of us in our poly family of three women and two men we have more than an hour of interest in sex, but only about 30 to 45 minutes of interest in one person before it's time to orgasm and see what's next. Threesomes of both types can go on for quite a while, however, because of the combinations.

Yes 24-1 odds success for a four way match with another couple sounds about right if not a little more! We are never offended when another couple doesn’t find us to be a good match, because we know how hard it is for everyone to have the same taste when it comes to attraction and attraction is a big part of it for us. We see no point at all in having sex with people that we do not feel a physical attraction to. Some people do and that is their choice.

I suspect that most members here have the resources to travel to another safe country if necessary. For those lacking the resources, however, it could be a real tragedy.

I agree with the others is suspecting a lot of the flaking is a husband running too far ahead of the wife. Not to say we haven't encountered a situation where the man backs off at the last minute, usually it is the man jumping the gun. Of course, that is assuming you're dealing with a real couple to begin with.

We feel you. Seedy strip clubs, bar takeovers, and other "speed dating" group events never appealed to us, either. Frankly, those kinds of social circumstances are completely antithetical to our attitudes about the lifestyle and what we want out of it. We can begin with the fact these events, by definition, require forfeiting of our right to privacy, an instant Do Not Pass Go for us. We always placed a higher value on quality over quantity. And that attitude has served us quite well over the years. True, it means we possibly--probably--missed out on some opportunities for fun. On the other hand, we've managed to avoid a lot of the problems and horror stories many swingers encounter when they just throw a bunch of mud at the wall and see what sticks. We prospected with a laser beam rather than road flares. To that end, it helped that we were very clear in what were looking for in other couples (and what we weren't.) If you don't know what you're really looking for, it's very easy to get pulled in many different directions, most of which lead you nowhere. And we were never desperate. Our sex life was exciting and rewarding enough that we never felt like we were "missing out" on anything. Yes, we looked forward to making the right lifestyle connections, but we were patient and secure in the knowledge that our time would eventually come. And it did. When it comes to any on-line lifestyle community, paid or unpaid, you have to understand that many, if not most, profiles are fakes. Rather than be disappointed by this fact, you have to simply accept it. It is reality. And "certifications" mean next to nothing. In fact, we generally saw them as negatives, not positives. To be successful with the on-line approach, you have to see it as purely a numbers game. Your job is to eliminate as many false flags and fake profiles, as quickly as possible, as you can. Rather than trying to find the needle in the haystack, makes yourselves into a magnet and let the needle come to you. What we found is that, by being incredibly clear in what we were looking for and announcing it right on our profile, we discovered there were other people looking for the same. They were just as turned off by the "speed dating" and seedy lifestyle underbelly as were we. But, there were no shortcuts. Eventually, we canceled our fully paid lifetime SLS profile. By our calculus, the number of fakes and time wasters had multiplied to the point that it was no longer worth the effort. And, by then, we had cultivated a wonderful little closed circle of lifestyle friends who gave us everything we needed, and vice versa. We've never been into notching our bedposts, always looking for the next conquests. Good sex begins largely as an intellectual exercise, anyway, so finding people we genuinely liked and were attracted to provided us with many hours of enjoyable playtime and care-free sexual experimentation. Hope our story was helpful to you. And good luck.

I think alot of husbands are gung ho, ask their wives, get shot down, end of story.

Wow! 🙄 Politics, at its most basic, affects how members of a polity in a fundamental sense live their lives. Regardless of one’s views on the subject of abortion, yes, this is a political subject; and one that has huge prospective impact on how Americans conduct their sexual lives. As this is a group organized around that very subject, the upcoming Supreme Court decision is totally germane. But Justice Alito’s draft, if it does indeed represent the essence of the forthcoming decision, will have impact on subjects of importance potentially to all Americans whose sexuality and sexual behavior is outside narrowly-defined limits. The core of Alito’s draft is that there is no "penumbra" in the Constitution. That notion of implied rather than specifically enumerated rights in the Constitution what, provided for the idea of a guaranteed individual right to privacy that ensured that people enjoyed within fairly broad limits the ability to conduct their personal lives as they see fit. All of us here on the Swingersboard count on that Constitutionally guaranteed right of privacy. In the mid’60s, when I was in college in Massachusetts, it was a felony, punishable my several years in prison, to provide birth-control information. Not birth-control devices or medications, just advice. In “Griswold" the Supreme Court, under the theory that the Constitution’s penumbra guaranteed privacy, invalidated that Massachusetts law and all other similar ones in any of the 49 other states. Do you enjoy performing or receiving oral sex? That was against the law in a number of states, even when practiced by straight people within a marital relationship. The same with anal sex. Fuck your wife in the ass and if a vice cop was peering in your window you could go to prison for years. Sure, these laws were mostly enforced against gay people, but sometimes against others. "Griswold" led to the end of those laws that severely regulated people’s sexual lives. The current Mississippi case, if Alito’s opinion is the Court’s, will permit states and localities to enact laws that will criminalize the behavior that most of us on this board highly value. (We don’t even need to get into anti-miscegenation laws, which the Supreme Court forbid under the apparently soon to be extinct theory of Constitutionally guarantee of privacy.)

Some of the same opponents of legal abortion also oppose the use of contraceptives. If the US Supreme Court bans the use of contraceptives, we are all seeking asylum at Enhancer’s house.

This really seems to be less about your swinging and more about his sense of how he was raised. He clearly feels he did not get the affection he wanted. As this comes as a complete surprise to y'all, it sounds like he did not talk about it. He also sounds like he is responding to the shock that his parents are not who he thought they were. He is hurt and this leads to anger. I am not sure that he hates either of you, but he is responding to strong emotions and they are coming out as anger. This is a hard situation, and not how you would have liked him to find out. And, your marriage is your primary relationship. He is 23 and moved out and living his own life. We can hope that after he has some time, he can be more calm and address his feelings. I agree that calling his parents names is unacceptable. You lived your lives, you raised a son who is successful. Like all parents, you did not give him everything he needs. None of us do. As painful as his rejection is, it is about him, not about you and your wife. This is going to be difficult. As a therapist, I might suggest that you and your wife see someone to help with your side of emotions, Family therapy for all three of you would be ideal, but I doubt he would come. PM me is you want to talk more. Bryan

In the beginning we had a bunch of rules, but now we do not. In the beginning I had a few minor slip ups, in the heat of the moment, and he had a major slip up. In each case we talked about the transgression, apologies were made, and then I point blank asked him if he wanted to stop or continue. Cause that is what it comes down to. I can't go back in time and take it back, I can only apologize and promise not to break the rule again. Reset the clear boundaries. I am not a child and I will not be scolded nor will I scold because he is not a child. In every instance he wanted to continue in the lifestyle so we recalibrate the rules and kept moving forward. Hope that helps, I know it sounds a little harsh but it's the truth. Good luck.

Some men cannot come very easily. Usually older men, but even younger men with medical problems. If you are new to swinging, you will notice sometimes your partner does not have an orgasm. Sometimes the man cannot achieve or maintain an erection. It usually happens due to nervousness or a medical problem. It’s not usually from lack of attraction. I once had trouble with my youngest, most attractive partner. She kept paying attention to and jumping in with my wife and her own husband. I got psyched out because she wasn’t paying attention to me and I was a little mad and disappointed. Experienced swingers know these things happen. As a generous partner said to me in a flagging moment: “Hey, we’re not porn stars. “

My personal choice is a well trimmed look but not shaved. I like the feel and the softness of a woman. that being said, I do not turn down any woman who does shave or those who tend not to trim close. I learned a long time ago how to provide great oral to a woman and not have a mouth full of hair. if you have a mouth full of hair you’re licking and sucking in the wrong spot. I also do not turn down any willing woman based on age, body type, tall or short. If she has a good sense of humor a great sense of adventure and I’m gameIf she has a good sense of humor a great sense of adventure then I’m game

Getting ready to meet our friends again and Debbie did a clean shave then asked me to shave my scrotum. While I had my razor very carefully cleaning she suggested I clean up between my butthole and balls. Never knew it bother her.

The less hair the better for both of us! Women still look like grown women to us without pubic hair. Never been an issue. She also prefers men that have clean shaven faces as well. Oral is just better without hair to navigate through to us and we both love oral.

I just think hair looks better, more natural. As far as getting in my mouth, so what, it comes out. If your not worried about what's inside her pussy, its the same thing that's on her hair. Why should a busy woman, have another thing to do everyday. Besides the treeline determines the boundary line of what's getting really personal.

Bald. Hair in mouth, teeth unappealing. A local shock jock said women didn’t shave down there when he was in college. He said oral sex was like wrestling with Chewbacca.

I often fantasize about a gang bang with my husband, boyfriend and maybe three other guys. I'd want them all to be really horny and not had sex in several days and I'd want them to cum all over me.

I know my partner definitely would love to see me in a gang bang. It used to be his favorite fantasy but he's become a bit more reserved about it in the past year or two for some reason. He may not admit it but I know it's his top fantasy. To be completely honest, it's one of my favorite fantasies as well. Since I've been masturbating, I've been having plenty of fantasies about being taken by an endless line of me (usually in public - nice little exhibitionist touch to it I don't know that we will ever actually participate in a gang bang, but I know we are both incredibly interested and turned on by the thought.

I have a friend who agreed to do a stag party with a bunch of guys, she was comfortable with 10-15 guys but now they want her to try around 30. She has only done 6 before but she says she told them she would do all that she could (she told me that after they get started she probably wouldn't stop them). Is it possible for 1 woman to take on 30 guys one after another, using only her vagina?

Here is my experience with Gangbangs. I frequently have them and really enjoy them. My husband and I travel all over the country and try every swing club we can. We only attend ones that allow single men. My experience is these are usually the only true swing clubs. Couples only clubs are very cliquish, and the people rarely swing. My first experience with a gangbang was in Miami, Florida. My husband was by my side (he is always with me when I swing). I laid down on a doctor’s exam table they had in one of the rooms, put my feet up in the stirrups, and began to play with 2 couples and a few single guys. I began to enjoy the attention the women were giving me and the stroking of the penus inside me so much that I wound up having 14 different men (I had no idea how many men there were: my husband kept track). I had planned to use condoms, but it felt so good that I let them all cum inside me. This experience made me realize how much I enjoy feeling different men inside me. I now enjoy as many men as I can. I encourage any women who have a fantasy of a gangbang to try it. Don’t worry about the number, because it just doesn’t matter – anyone who says different is just being a stuck-up. You’re having fun – that’s what it’s about. Life is too short not to live it.

Angelrose,is that a gang bang or simply serial sex? As nice as that would be,and I sure would'nt mind,I would still have to have my hubby with me at all times. Maybe he could be the one to call "next".....lol

I was sure hoping someone would come out with it! I too have the fantasy of a gang bang. Although mine differs slightly from the norm. I would not have them all waiting around me, cocks in hand waiting to get inside. I would have each man one on one for about 10 minutes or so. The other guys would be in a different room. They could have a cocktail, if they so desired or partake in the use of my cute little girlfriend's mouth while they are "on deck". I feel that having them one on one reduces the feeling of me being a slut and more like the best ride in the amusement park!

Alright, I admit it I have had A LOT of fantasies about a gang bang. Such as going to a porn shop and going into the "backroom" and finding myself getting offered money to do like 20 guys, and I would have to do what they said, because they had paid me to. LOL I don't know how I feel about accepting money for sex, in reality. What do other women think? I had done 3 men at once, bf included, so if that constitutes a gang bang then I guess I have done it, I was blindfolded too which made it so much hotter for me and prob them too. So I'm sorry about the "slut" comment. I just think SOME women would feel that way that's all.

What is it about a gang bang that turns u on? I am a female and yes I've had FANTASIES about it, but when it comes right down to it I would feel like such a slut after. Have you even suggested it to her?? What kind of things lie behind this desire of yours? Hell take her to some kind of swingers club. Maybe it would happen naturally. I can understand a desire to GET it from many people, but why would you want to SEE her in this type of situation? And truly, how would you feel about her afterwards, let alone how she would see herself?

Ok David, you are right, there is a difference in oral and anal, but I consider male bisexuality to include oral and/or anal. And Chicup, I didn't know there was a "rule" at clubs that if you were a bi-male you could not attend. This is one subject that most men, if they are bi or bi-curious, will keep to themselves simply because of the fact that it is so strongly frowned on by people in the lifestyle. They don't want to be outed so they never admit it to anybody, ever. You are in the majority when it comes to vocalizing their dislike for it, but I sometimes wonder how may of those that say..Not me, never! are really thinking in the back of their minds...hmmm, I wonder? You and your wife are not turned on by it at all, and that is fine, but there are some of us out there who will stand up and admit that yes it turns me on big time. I just wish that it was not frowned on so much so that those that do like it, would not have to hide the fact that they do,just so they can be accepted.

We've all missed the boat on this one. Littledick was referring to oral sex. No mention was made of anal. There is quite a difference. Someone would have a lot better chance of talking me into a BJ, than checking out my backdoor. 😛

Okay, I was not going to post as this subject has already been discussed quite extensively in another thread, but I just can't seem to help myself. It's true that a LOT of people are turned OFF by male bisexuality, but it is also true that a LOT of people are turned ON by it. The truth is that there is NOTHING WRONG with feeling either way. I like it. I hate the "double standard" of it being okay for a woman, but not a man, but that is the way society is. To the original poster.. Yes you will have a hard time with this in a social/club setting, as you can see from all the post here on the board that it is not highly accepted, but as Julie said, your best bet is to find a male on your own and have the fun you want privately.

I find most men object very much to trying a bi activity or even having it go on around them. But many of the WOMEN I know do find it sexy and want to see it, in the same way a lot of men find 2 women together sexy. I think maybe we women are just a tad more progressive in our thinking 😛