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I've long said (and almost everyone woman I've asked has agreed) the majority of men just suck. I'm sorry you've had such a rough go finding good single men in the lifestyle. Maybe we're just ridiculously lucky, but my wife and I have found quite a number of single men for her to play with over the years. I'd say it's about a dozen. There were only two guys who were problematic. One was a total flake and the other an obvious cheater (deal breaker for us). She didn't play with either of them. The others? Some were better than others, none were bad. Two she turned into long term (years long) lovers/boyfriends. I think it's possible to find good guys in the lifestyle. I really do. I also think it's really worth it. I know some swinger couples won't consider singles at all, but for my wife and I it has worked very well.

We found a good match on AFF. Friendly, funny, not pushy, cute, understanding, messaged us for months before a meet...but then turned out to be a lousy fuck. 🙃

To answer your question not all single men are absolutely clueless idiots, but about 99.5 percent of them seem to be! In the ten plus years we have been in this lifestyle we have had exactly one threesome with another man and that is not, because we don’t give them a chance. You always hear how single women are the unicorns, but yet we have been able to find a fair amount of them in that same time frame. For us the real unicorn seems to be attractive, in shape, respectful men that actually get it. I honestly never would have thought that it would be so hard to find a guy like that to have incredible non commitment sex with my sexy lady, but it is. Maybe if some of these clowns actually did a little research on what women and couples really like and want instead of getting all their ideals from porn there would be a better chance for them.

Are all single men absolutely clueless idiots? Yes...yes they are. That's why single guys have such a bad reputation...because they deserve it. Oh, there are some good ones out there (I hope), but while not as rare as unicorns they are few and far between. Good luck and just keep looking...

Your post is about prostitution. This is a website about swinging.

Three women and two men in our poly family used to be sexually balanced when the guys would be able to get it up and off two times, sometimes three. Now getting it up a second time is ok, but cumming a second time for the guys is a struggle. A third erection takes lots of sucking, and they can't get to a third orgasm usually. (I'm talking about in a session, not a day.) That's why we women in our family share a supplemental boyfriend.

I agree. Each of us in our poly family has a relatively low number of sexual partners. But we have plenty of sex and can mix it up with with the partners that we do have.

And some men are more suited to parties. Very recently we went to a beach house party with three other couples that we know well. I am thrilled to be with two women and ecstatic that with help and time I made it through to all but my wife. Three times for me is a miracle. My wife was also doing it with the three men impressed all the guys had it in them. My wife half jokingly said next. Surprisingly my friend was up and ready. He got the award for going four times.

Can’t answer if ALL single men are clueless. In our immediate circle of swinger friends there is only one single man that joins us. He is a divorced half of a swing couple that was part of the group before us. Not knowing him I didn’t like the idea of a man having his way without a partner to share. Now that I know him better he is not an idiot, he is respectful of the women and husbands. The ladies enjoy his company.

Such a gorgeous Asian wife!

Interesting to read the various responses and opinions on this topic. We have very different takes than many of you. Although we are swingers, we don't consider ourselves to be particularly promiscuous. Our attitudes about sex, and swinging, is that sharing more and more partners is definitely not better. While some of you feel that the "more you swing, the better you get", we really don't see it that way at all. We see it as less is more. Or, said another way, it's quality over quantity. Sex is not an Olympic event. The physical part, while important, is not nearly as important as the mental and emotional parts. The largest sexual organ is the brain. The more and deeper you get to know someone, and the better they get to know you, the better the quality of sex. That only comes with a substantial investment of time and attention. Studies have shown, repeatedly, that sexual satisfaction is closely associated with the quality of the relationships. We wholeheartedly agree.

It may be and how you are defining single men. As the years roll on There are more who are widowed. I have always had a hard time explaining to the guys and the clubs we belong to the banning single men might eventually come back and bite them .

As a couple people have said, the number isn't a big deal. Two 40 year old women, one married for 15 years and one not. The married woman was a virgin prior to marriage, has sex with her husband 3 times a week = 2,300+ times. The unmarried woman has a few new partners a year, averages sex once a week due to random dry spells every so often. Her total is 780 encounters, but 30 partners. Is the woman with the more partners a slut merely because she had different relationships over the same period? I don't really care how many guys a woman has been with. A big number would lead me to inquire because I bet there are some awesome stories to be heard. It wouldn't be a turn-off by any means.

Why does it matter how many different men a woman has been with compared for instance to how often/many times she has had sex with a few or one guy, and the kinky things she has done? I consider Lora, Clair, and myself more of a slut for having the same few guys going at the same time with MFMs, FFMs, FFMFs, MFMFs, MFMMs, etc. than a woman who is a serial monogamist. (Do FFs and FFFs figure into the slut factor?)

I agree that pressuring a partner is not a good approach for any activity, but enticing someone to try something is fine. My advice is to make it something that she wants to do. Be 100% clear that not only are you not looking for you to play with another woman, but you also will let her start this adventure on her terms. She can choose the man/men she wants to play with, the time, the place (hotel, at home; in your bed), you there or not, you participating or not, she telling you about it afterwards or not... She needs to not only feel comfortable to take on this journey but eager also. And don't criticize her choices. She may meet a guy several times to try him out, but then decide to he's not the one for an MFM and drop him for someone else. Make her pleasure your erotic goal and patience. Take delight in every twist and turn of her desires. Good luck and keep us updated.

I don’t ask women how many men they have had sex with, because it is none of my business unless they choose to tell me and I don’t really care! Besides I like women that like sex and know what they want and don’t consider them a slut, because they do. I actually prefer women with more experience with multiple partners. They tend to be more skilled, because like anything the more experience you have with something the better you are at it.

This is hysterical Makes me think though; women are biologically better suited to swinging than men are!

Not gonna repeat my mistake by dragging him into another lifestyle he is not comfortable and also the big disclaimer is that if I allow it and he ends up finding nobody then that could make the situation ten times worse, the big disclaimer on this lifestyle is that it's always easier for us who are women to find someone to have fun with than the guys. I experimented from when I was 18 to 22 and had no problem at all finding guys but the same is not really true in reverse when it comes to guys. And my husband is a bit shy and introverted he had only been with two women before me and one of those experiences lead to a trauma that caused all of this. I would never deny him if he asked me but I am just wondering if he does try to find someone outside of our marriage, but then ends up finding nobody and feel even worse because of it. I honestly feel if that happened it would break him completely I just don't think he is wired for that kind of relationship.

It’s “hard” for a man to perform unless he is physically attracted, even with Vitamin V. There have been women we know in the lifestyle who I like personally, but could not do the deed due to lack of attraction. It is either there or not there. Difficult to explain.

The four way match is elusive. One couple told us the four way match has 24-1 odds of success. Not sure how they calculated that, but sounds about right. We haven’t tried a threesome often. Usually a spinoff with another couple or, awhile back, my wife at a multiple man party.

I am so into this! I have the direction I'd like to have it go as well. I'd love to hear your wife's and share it with my husband with you guy's permission. He is sooooooo close to letting it happen. It is great to hear other couples and share with him their desires, sort of motivates him a bit I think.

We have been out of the lifestyle for some time. Just seemed to get really busy, but me (husband) has been thinking a lot about getting back in and certainly with mm activity. She says she'd love to see me with a man, did once or twice before, sorta incidental action, but now we're considering a full blown meet specifically intending to have the two guys play. It's hard to find that other couple, but we're looking and determined. Any suggestions? My wife gets so hot thinking about two guys. She's told me how she'd like things to go etc. Wish us luck as we look for a couple where both wives are happy sitting back and directing the action of their men.

For years we have been having threesomes with our best male friend and it always involves some male-male oral action which really turns my wife on.

I would like to introduce this side of my desires to my husband. We have traveled a long slow road of experimentation together arriving at a wonderful place in our sex life where we freely masturbate ourselves in every way imaginable, devouring our own bodies and flavors. Newly formed, I have yet to share with my husband my newest deepest desire which is to be enthralled in a 69 after making love with him cumming in me and have a friend sneak in behind and help me lick him clean, play with him anally, even perform analingus on him as I watch close up, then assist me in fingering him, using toys on him, sucking him off, sharing him and his cum, then fucking his (sort of virgin) hole till he pleads for more. This post has me thinking, are there any good bi porn that depicts wives holding their men down to be taken and used? I'd love to find some great pics to run by my husband to gauge his reaction (of course he will be nude so I get the true reaction). Any suggestions?

My husband shocked me when he said he would love to see a guy's cock slide in and out of my pussy while he would be sucking on my clit. I asked him wouldn't you feel uncomfortable being that close to another man's cock, he says no, then I ask him what if he's fucking me and his cock slips out and hits you in the mouth? He said he would play it all by ear and just go with the moment then just put him back in my pussy. Now I never thought about something like this before but I must say that I have been thinking about it a lot and it's been getting really wet. I am not sure what to do, he gets really hard whenever we talk about it or when he uses a dildo on me while he sucks on my clit. Any other couples ever do or fantasize about this?

Ok I am totally with you on this topic, except for the distinction that I am a bi-female. To me two people who are totally into each other in the heat of the moment is HOT. Two girls...HOT, boy-girl...HOT, two guys...HOT!