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Please keep me posted on how this one turns out. Im asking for a friend...lol.

Insecure and needing constant consoling do not translate well to swinging! Don’t know what to tell you. Good luck.

When my wife and I started talking to single guys, the conversation from him was usually “ ready to fuck?” And we immediately stop chatting with guys like that. Right now we’re chatting with one and so far so good. Few little bumps but nothing crazy. Us 3 got together just to meet and chat about random stuff. We may get together this weekend for a few drinks, we’ll see. But yea I think most good single guys have trouble cuz the ignorant ones. Just my opinion

My favorite arrangement is FFM - one man and another woman. My guys can go for an hour or so, it's cumming multiple times that can be difficult. Once when Lora's ex-husband was in the mix playing with us, I screwed four men in one evening and had them cum in me. It was exciting in it's way, but not something I look to repeat.

Maybe I'll redecorate my vaginal walls.

So, there you are. I think you still owe me $50. 😃

I cannot recommend highly enough that you get Polysecure by Jessica Fern(book or we like audible and got the book too for reference) The dynamics and behaviours you describe are EXACTLY those that my husband have been through. It is 100% down your to insecure attachment styles, both him being emotional and you not. Anxiousness/avoidance/fear of abandonment all the deep stuff. The lifestyle you inherently insecure so it magnifies absolutely everything 10000x. (including the good liberated sexy unconditionung freedom, it’s why it offers such healing) There are needs not being met and you can heal them with your love and communication. The really thorny sensitive ones, the repeating patterns, they are ALL about needs not met in childhood, that is where your arguments come from. Hope you guys can get to the bottom of it, love is always the answer 🫶🏻💜

We have some friends in the lifestyle who are extremely shy until you get to know them. The two things they've found to help (1) have a few prepared questions that get the conversation going, as someone earlier mentioned and (2) go to clubs with music and dancing; it can be easier to meet on the dance floor where talking is not as expected

For every example you gave, I could give 10+ of clueless jackasses who sent unsolicited dick pics (when we clearly state not to), and sent replies like “sup?” “still looking?” “available now”, “alpha bull here, I’ll dom both of you”, or my personal favorite “does she want my cock in her ass?” Then there are the ones who pass the initial screening, start communicating with my wife, then start asking for naked photos, and say shit like “dump that loser and let’s hook up”. So, you’re “deeply offended”? Too bad, because most single guys in this lifestyle ARE clueless idiots. They regularly fuck up a free lunch, they literally can’t read and/or control themselves.

This is on my DIY list. We've got a basement room that was more of a shop at one time, is mostly storage now, but the plan is to make it where by pulling some accessories like sex swing out of their hiding places and getting some dim lighting going, instant playroom

Sex-cessories may not be needed. But they absolutely can add to the fun. Hanging a sex swing in our basement has led to some of the best sex we've ever had. Add in restraints and a blindfold, even better.

I find this post deeply offensive. Nobody ever wants to talk about the married men that are assholes. The married guys that lack the social skills to communicate with another human being. The lame married guys that feel entitled to do or say what they want because they are married. The married guys that are always looking for someone to fuck without their wife even knowing. The married guys that post pictures of their wives and other women in their family without their consent. The married guys who do not respect other men but expect you to treat them and their wives as some sorta queen. The confused married guys who claim to be cuckold's but secretly want to be dominant and control the whole scenario. The confused married guys that act tough but be all in your DMs asking if they can suck your cock or if you will fuck them. The married guys that are lame as fuck and ride on the coattails of their wife just to give them some status. The married guys that want you to spoil their wife because they cannot. The married guys that pimp their wives out for money because they are not successful themselves. See what Im saying.....I been at this for 20+ years and each one of those descriptions is an example of married guys that I have encountered in the lifestyle. The fact that you would lump all men into the same category when you have not met all men speaks volumes for the type of human that you are. If you are really interested in improving the lifestyle then there are other ways that you can provide feedback to single guys that you feel are problematic. Lets not forget, single men are relevant in the swinging lifestyle because some married men are unable to keep up with their wives sex drive. Plus, when event planners have cash flow problems its normally the single men that make up the difference.

Please consider this and accept it without judgement. This pursuit; "swinging", "the lifestyle", etc, what ever you wish to call it is predicating on communication. Communication within the couples involved and communication between the couples involved. Open, honest, frequent communication creates trust which increases the chances of having a good experience. You have stated that "anytime we try and talk through this problem, it turns into an argument". Getting past this will be key to moving forward for the two of you, clearly. If you can't communicate as a couple, your chances are poor of communicating effectively with another couple as you will not be moving forward with one voice and aligned in all respects.

Me as well. There was one young, cute, personable gyno that I had, and as she was examining me, my mind did wonder... She spoke of her husband and I wondered some more (FFM is my favorite). Perhaps I should have pursued the small chance that something could have come of it.

On rare occasion, I disagree with the mainstream thought on a thread. I'm partially doing so here, but still agreeing overall. Some couples are ok with feelings developing. It's not an immediate death knell for the swinging relationship. Yes, there is a difference between swinging and being poly. That said, I've long said that once you've found a great partner, why not keep them around for a while? It can be hard to find great partners. However, the more times you have sex with someone the more likely it is that you are going to develop feelings for them. My wife had two long term boyfriends with whom we had many MFMs and she had many more solo dates. She developed feelings for both of them, and they for her. It did not negatively affect our marriage in any respect. Everyone's mileage varies. To your particular situation; you've stated clearly that you are not poly. Yet, your wife is developing emotions for this guy and in essence saying you are the one who is having a problem with this, and things would be great if you just calmed down and trusted her. This isn't about trust. Your wife is going against your wishes. That should send up major, major red flags and everything with this other guy should stop....in the very least until the two of you get on the same page on this. Right now you're not, nor are you close. This is a serious issue, and can't be flippantly dismissed by either of you. Don't suck it up and take one for the home team. You don't have to accept this. There's trouble written ALLLLL over this. Also, he plays solo and says he and his wife are poly? Have you actually met his wife? Has she confirmed everything he has said? I wouldn't at all be surprised if this guy is cheating. Even if you were ok with your wife having feelings for this guy, and he for your wife, you should absolutely insist on meeting the wife and clearing everything with her.

We are not poly. Step 1: all texting from the other male goes to me, the husband. Step 2: if another male thinks my wife is his “girlfriend,” either my wife tells him she is uncomfortable with his romantic overtures or we shut the relationship down. We are in this for sexual spice and to meet open minded friends. If there is romantic interests on the part of other people, we are out of there. All respect to polyamorous people, but that is too complicated for us.

A back deck or lawn will help with the tan. We lay naked on our deck at least 4 times a week for an hour. Almost zero tan lines and great tans. Doesn't hurt that we're getting Vitamin D as well.