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When she is with you, I'm sure that sometimes she just wants you to 'make love' with her. Not just use her, but show that you love and care for her. When she is with someone else, without the love and emotions, it can be okay to just be used. You need to be willing to give her what she wants at times. But the second part of your post is what is more disturbing. It sounds like you have given her some power and she is abusing it, probably because she isn't used to having it. Time for another talk, but maybe with your heart in your hand. You need to be more sensitive to her wants and needs, and she needs to then return in kind. Let her know how you are feeling since great relationships are built on love, trust and communication. You need to show her more love and communication. As for swinging, you need to stop until you can reestablish the trust in your relationship. Good luck and let us know how things are progressing.

Gunnisons beach is part of Gateway National Park, a Federal Park. Anyone doing anything against the rules is open to Federal prosecution. Bruce Springsteen was given a shot Of tequila. He was given a citation to appear in federal court. The National Park police take their jobs seriously. NO SEX.

Your premise is incorrect. And it is not fear they are experiencing. What children experience is body self-consciousness. This typically occurs between the ages of nine and thirteen, when children begin to request more privacy. Often this corresponds to the beginnings of puberty, a time of profound physical and socio-emotional development that often creates a complex mix of body-related thoughts. It is entirely normal and not "learned". However, this is not to say that children are not heavily influenced by their environment and the body messaging, both verbal and non-verbal, they receive from their parents, social media, advertisements, and so on, often to their detriment. We live in a very superficial society. But, this is the case in most of the world, and is not limited to the United States or the West in general. In fact, some societies/cultures are far more concerned with body image than what we experience is the United States or Europe. While Ann and I are naturists and nude as often as practical, we don't feel the need to shame or otherwise be critical of people who choose textiles. They are free to pursue their own happiness, even if it means wearing soggy, sandy clothes at the beach! Lol...

All the above is spot on! Just be up front with people about what you are interested in and what your boundaries are and I think you will pleasantly surprised. We have been a full swap couple from pretty much the beginning, and we have had sex just about every club visit we have made... the majority of which have just been with each other.

My practice is to look around, even when talking to another naked person, just shift your gaze from face to hands to torso to face to feet... And I don't mind people looking at me when I'm nude. Various naked people aren't what you see everyday, and it's like an exhibition at a gallery - take it all in and enjoy.

Returning to the theme of the original post (nudity and comfort with same), it remains surprising and disappointing that simple nudity persists as a point of contention and discussion. While there are settings in which fashion is celebrated, and there are settings in which textile separation makes sense, there are plenty of settings where fewer textiles is a reasonable and logical choice. The fact that having--or seeing--an unclothed body should make anyone uncomfortable speaks volumes about our cultural constructs and our perceptions of what it means to be human.

We partied with my wife's neice and her boyfriiend, it was pretty hot because we were in our early 40s and they were bearly legal so to speak. Young stuff make me feel young again.

Ok, my distant, 16 yr old (4th) cousin was a virgin, however was desperately looking to lose her virginity. She's always been sort of oversexed, but very picky in terms of who she would fool around with...She's always told me how hot she thinks my boyfriend is, and one day jokingly said she wished she could lose her virginity to him. Well, this turned me on, and I approached him with the idea of him fucking her while I watched. He was all for it, so we talked to her, and after a few drinks one night, it finally happened...and it was GREAT!!!!!! Watching it got me sooooooo horny, however it awakened bisexual desires that I never knew I had. Now I can't stop thinking about a threesome with her, but I'm afraid to ask her for fear of her getting offended...what should I do?

It’s inevitable if you go to parties that one day you will see someone you know. We have seen people from business and others we know but not well. Before posting this I searched and saw others say they have met daughters and sons, in-laws, and others they never expected. I always wondered how I would react. We recently were invited to a house party. We have enjoyed a party at these people’s house before. Big clean house and they do it right. Private bedrooms, play areas with air mattresses, and a kinky room that’s interesting. Stacks of clean towels and robes in a dressing room. The couple who owns the house are older and sweet. They greet every couple at the door with a glass of champagne which I say is so classy. We go to the changing room put our clothes in plastic bins and take a robe. Another couple is in there with us and we start a conversation. I am looking forward to maybe being with them. Mike was very friendly to both and suggested we have a drink together. While at the bar getting to know our new friend I hear “Patty”. Nobody calls me Patty, I am Trish or Tricia, nobody calls me Patty anymore. EXCEPT FAMILY. It’s my cousin, technically a second cousin, my Father’s cousin’s son. We really only see each other at funerals and some family occasions. I don’t know when they got there. They were already in robes too. We had some family talk that chased the other couple to excuse themselves. I really didn’t want to spend the night like this. My cousin is good looking and his wife is also except he is family. Others are already getting busy and we are still talking. So much going through my head. We ended up in a bedroom and playing. Were we wrong? Is this taboo?

This is one among many reasons that we enjoy conversation here at SwingersBoard: we are constantly learning from people who are lifestyle-friendly and yet whose most interesting organ lies between the ears. Thank you to all the discussants on this thread.

A Japanese network commissioned the restoration I recall. That serpent bite had been covered by a cloak painted over the genitals which was removed during the restoration. I believe there is a documentary detailing the chapel restoration.

We'll agree politics has attempted to dumb down our society, often to the point of idiocy. The notions of there being more than two sexes, or that males can have babies, are just two of the latest examples. "Follow the science!", they say. Except when science contradicts their political agendas, of course. Then it's, "To hell with science!" Lol... As for the rest, you've taken a very simplistic, one-sided, and incomplete view of organized religion in general. A healthy amount of criticism is certainly deserved, no doubt. However, in fairness, a lot of praise is warranted, too. For instance, we can thank Christianity in general, and Catholicism in particular, for the genesis of the Western higher educational system. That the Catholic Church has been so vehemently derided as an obstacle to human progress is truly a travesty. Judging through the lens of either art or science, the Church has been at the forefront of human progress for literally thousands of years. Anyone having the pleasure of visiting Italy, particularly Rome and the Vatican, its many museums, and the many Catholic churches that are the repositories of some of the finest works of art in all the world, soon realizes the Church has no problem with the human form in its natural state. At the Galleria dell' Accademia di Firenze resides Michelangelo's statue of David, arguably the most recognized statue the world over. Many are unaware the statue originally adorned Il Duomo, the massive Catholic Cathedral that occupies the center of the city, before being moved. It's no coincidence David is portrayed fully nude. And, apparently, in freezing temperatures. Lol... Now, back to our regularly scheduled programming.

Changes occur in all relationships, for many different reasons. Communication is the key. regardless of how open and close a couple is in a relationship, both parties often hold a few things back from the other due to embarrassment, not wanting to hurt the other, worried the other will look at them differently, and not sure of their own feelings and why they are feeling the way they are. All of those things need to be brought out into the open and discussed. I do not believe any relationship can go through the opening of a marriage without a few bumps in the road.

Fear of being naked is a learned fear. As a child nudity was natural into my early teens when my older sister became uncomfortable. At that point a lower wrap became the after shower norm.

There are what seem to be reasons for concern here. Without knowing the entire history and dynamic of the relationship though, it is hard to know if this some innocent and not uncommon "feeling her oats" that some women experience due to finally being able to step outside the wife/mom role that has consumed their every waking minute for years and decades, or whether there is something more to it. The only way to find out is just keep communicating about it. Not in an accusatory way, but in an open and understanding way. It takes two to make a relationship, so in some ways she is a reflection of your actions/approach in the relationship, and you are reflection of hers.

I love meeting new people of like mind. My husband loves getting out and about so it sounds like a Win - Win. Thanks.

Good point! I want to add why is sex with consenting adults a point of contention. Having sex is a natural pleasure men and women have, why restrict our pleasure with others who want the same??

My wife and I are currently exploring our fantasies as well, we're in our forties and have had a sexual explosion after introducing certain devices to our sex life. She has opened up on her desire to have a MFM threesome and lately also finger fucks and licks a Fleshlight she bought for me while we have sex. We've not yet wanted to include another person for the obvious logistic and practical reasons (don't want any crazies or any drama, plus...well, how to find the right person? It's not done in a jiffy), however I've been married for nearly 20 years now, and only this last year I've been able to say to my wife how much I'm turned on by watching her get pleasure from another man... I suppose my point is it's a process. Sexually, I am personally extremely turned on by seeing my wife get pleasure and orgasms however they may come. As it turns out, she is coming out of her shell insofar as admitting that she has a massive threesome fantasy (for the first 15 years of our marriage this wasn't even discussed...). I suppose it depends on your perspectives really. Being able to see past the filter of jealousy that society teaches us to have about non-monogamy is a powerful barrier. I've long since seen past that and I hope we someday both will put our mutual fantasy into practice, and also that she will break the final barrier about having sex with another female, as this clearly turns her on immensly (she still won't quite admit to it). The way to achieving full disclosure and openness in your relationship is steering clear of pressure, shaming and any negative reaction. We've always been extremely playful in the bedroom, and well...that is paying off. We are 45 and 48.

What we enjoy as much as actual sex about about house parties, is sitting around nude to talk. The removal of pretense and relaxation creates a different environment

No, not at all. No. Most couples (but not necessarily all) will ask what your interests and limits are before doing anything else. Those that don't ask will usually honor your requests if you tell them that you are not interested or to stop. The very few that may not listen at all should be reported to the club owner and escorted out of the club (very rare, but still a possibility). Don't let someone 'get away' with something you two are not interested in just because they force themselves in (that's what they are hoping you will do...nothing).

Fortunately, I have a family of like minded people, who knew me better than I knew myself, particularly my Lesbianism. My biggest discovery is that the most "psychologically disturbed" thing would be for me to have a monogamous husband and lovers, and be monogamous myself. In retrospect, the Catholic doctrine of my upbringing concerning sex/marriage, and even serial monogamy, seems unnatural.

I didn’t think anyone would because it’s so crowded and besides it was last minute and what are the odds someone close who read my post could make it there. We made plans with a member of the board who we have been with before who are still with us this morning as I’m posting. We were invited to stay at a friends house last night even though we live close enough. I’m sure sex happens quietly. As crowded as the beach gets it’s hard to be discreet. We have observed sex in the off season. Last year before Memorial Day we saw two men in an isolated area and a middle aged man taking pictures of what I hope was a legal aged young lady taking pictures.

Thank you, bbarnsworth … appreciate the kind words. 🙂 The club we were members of before COVID caused us to stop going had a plastic chain attached to each playroom door frame. If you wanted complete privacy, you closed the door. If you wanted to put on a show but keep people out, you left the door open and put the chain up. If you didn’t mind people coming into the room, you left the door open and the chain down. MOST people knew that an “invitation” to come in didn’t mean they were invited to jump into bed with you, but you might have to make that clear to the pushy ones.

Sounds like sex will happen. We have only gone to lakes that are nudist and camps that nudists run. Plenty of families with volleyball and tube races. I’m sure that there are LGB peeps. Who cares. Biggest problem we had was mosquitoes. We find a lot of people are natural and we are the different ones fully shaved. Liquor may or may not be allowed I know plenty of beer wine and weed.

This is solely my — male half — opinion and I’ll probably be told by the longtime members here that I’m dead wrong… but here goes! ;-D I don’t think you’d necessarily be UNpopular at clubs. Even though most of the “veteran” couples are looking for some level of swap, some of them have a soft spot in their hearts for newbies — because they remember when they were new — and will play “down” to your comfort level one time anyway. There will also likely be other newbies there whenever you go and perhaps they’re looking to dip just a single toe into the water by sharing a bed with another couple. All that said, I’ll give you this piece of advice that I’m pretty sure the other members here will back me up on. Namely, when you make your first visit to a club, go with *NO* expectations other than to have a great time with each other. If that means you don’t do any more than get a playroom and have sex, take it as a positive. (That’s all we did on our first several club visits.) There’s something really exciting about having sex with the sounds of the music thumping and people milling around just outside the playroom door no doubt wondering just who’s in that room and what they’re doing in there. So don’t put any artificial pressure on yourselves to full swap, soft swap, or even share a bed with anybody else. And if you really want to put on a show while others watch, just leave the playroom door open. Trust me, you’ll draw a crowd!

Our new home was designed from the ground up to favor clothes-free living. No sightlines in from the outside. Interior courtyard. Clothed when practical, nude when possible. Just easier.

Was not a fantasy of mine at the time but did have a 3 some with twin brothers. It happens when my husband was in the Army and stationed in north Carolina, he was deployed and I would go to Walmart alot. I went so much that workers there all knew me lol. Well one of the employees was a good looking black guy Jeremy and he would always talk but it never felt flirtatious just normal talk. I was at Walmart one day and was talking to a few employees telling them about how my car need a part and how much the shop was going to charge me. Jeremy said him and his brother worked on cars and if I got the part they work fix it for me. I asked how much and he said to just get them beer. I said ok and I'll make dinner too. So they came over on their day off and when they showed up I was shocked to see they where identical twins. After they fixed my car, they ate and we sat and drank. We drank Liston to music and talked. Next thing I know I'm on my knees sucking both of them and then they started fucking me. We finished fucking and we sat around for a while then we went for round 2 then they left

There are two things in play perhaps. 1. He felt that you were closer to each other than to him. 2. He is in shock and has transferred some of number one to that. As far as 1. goes our kids were never left in any doubt that each of us had our first loyalties to each other. I remember, with one of the boys, explaining in no uncertain terms that , if he were smart, he would not try to test that bond. Our children managed to interpret that state of affairs as stability in their lives. None of them have ever hinted that they felt unloved or left out. At 23 he is just entering one of the major learning curves. It will be interesting to see how he deals with it the first time there is a tension between his spouse and a child. He just might learn that in order for his child's life to be solidly grounded it is a good thing for his parents to have a sound, solid and affectionate marriage. As for the shock. Time and experience will likely square that away.

This really seems to be less about your swinging and more about his sense of how he was raised. He clearly feels he did not get the affection he wanted. As this comes as a complete surprise to y'all, it sounds like he did not talk about it. He also sounds like he is responding to the shock that his parents are not who he thought they were. He is hurt and this leads to anger. I am not sure that he hates either of you, but he is responding to strong emotions and they are coming out as anger. This is a hard situation, and not how you would have liked him to find out. And, your marriage is your primary relationship. He is 23 and moved out and living his own life. We can hope that after he has some time, he can be more calm and address his feelings. I agree that calling his parents names is unacceptable. You lived your lives, you raised a son who is successful. Like all parents, you did not give him everything he needs. None of us do. As painful as his rejection is, it is about him, not about you and your wife. This is going to be difficult. As a therapist, I might suggest that you and your wife see someone to help with your side of emotions, Family therapy for all three of you would be ideal, but I doubt he would come. PM me is you want to talk more. Bryan

As I have aged it takes me longer to cum! No issues gettIng hard and staying hard just takes forever for me to cum regardless of how attracted I am to someone. I am however receptive to when my partner is worn out and done and have no issue stopping without cumming myself. I do not have to have an orgasm to enjoy myself. As long as my partner had a great time I do. People should not take it as a sign that they are not satisfying the other person. It is just the way it is for some of us. There is a point where enough is enough and it is up to guys that do not cum easily to understand that and back off when that time has come. With the missus I want to be able to have sex with her again sometime in the near future. Leaving her raw and sore is not conductive for that happening.

Yeah I'm not sure where guys get it in their head that pounding for hour+ sessions is desirable. Afraid of being labeled a premature ejaculator I guess. Marathon sex sessions are fun. But no need to be pounding the whole time. Going for multiple times and switching up between different activities and even a break for refreshments should be part of those. Popping quickly can be a compliment rather than something to avoid with numbing creams and what have you.

Very interesting, @Fitlakecouple ! Thanks to all of you for such detailed answers. Here's a little pic to thank you all :)

I know for the fact that a lucky guy ended up has a FFM fucked both his girlfriend & her cousin in the same room.

We have 4 girls. You need to teach your daughter that the responsibility of birth control is on her. If she gets pregnant all of the weight is on her not the boy. He goes on with his life; no disruption whatsoever. He keeps playing sports, he goes to prom, he goes to college. It's her life that will be derailed - not his. And, if she's 16, you are late by a couple years. Get on it - now.

I had cousins for a while

I’ve been with 2 sisters and a mother/daughter.

I agree, so long as the couple goes into it with both agreeing that it is what they want to do and one isn't dragging a reluctant partner into it. In our poly family there is plenty of opportunity for conflict that has nothing to do with sex. (Actually, the sex is a thing that helps smooth out the disagreements, and not that the two fighting suddenly become lovey dovey and make love. It's that we have others to turn to that give us solace, love, a dose of reason, and an orgasm to better the mood. Then all is forgotten.) We are fortunate that we all have the right temperament to deal with it and love one another enough to compromise, and therefore, have thrived as a family and individually. When it all started and it was just my husband, my boyfriend and me, I was concerned that there would be times when I wouldn't give hubby enough intimate attention, so I was always sensitive to whenever he wanted to pull my pants down. Now it's the opposite: with three women and two men in the family, the guys can't keep up so we women share a boyfriend. We are all sensitive to the others sexual needs.

My wife sees other men perhaps three to six times a month. Plenty of time for the two of us. The things that cause divorce when the woman are a hotwife is the exact same things that cause a divorce when the woman is monogamous and chaste: One (or both) of the partners is dishonest or behaves maliciously. Poor communications. Substance abuse. Domestic violence. etc. If the couple has good communications and are honest and kind to each other, divorce usually doesn't happen. It makes no difference if the couple is monogamous or not.

MrsHasAllTheAnswers, I’m joking, and I have been playing with friends for about three years. I was at first uneasy doing this and unsure why she wanted to. I’ve gotten over it and now enjoy everything about it. A few months into playing I was surprised at a party when I saw my wife’s cousin. I shouldn’t be surprised, this cousin has many of the same friends we do and we are pretty close with her. We were very supportive during her divorce. I never suspected she was into this. My wife I found out knew. Girl talk. I feel like the guy who has no idea sometimes. I know she isn’t my cousin, only through marriage. Funny thing she has so many things in common with my wife in bed. Life is wonderful

Not your fault . It was poorly phrased. That's terrific, I love it! Anyone else ever hear (or ask) those doozies that just scream, "Why would you even ask that"? I know there are more out there.

Sorry, The Fuse. It was late last night and I misread your question. To address what questions are off limits, we have a bedrock principle which seems to work for us that goes: A marriage can survive anything except dishonesty. So all questions are kosher. And we especially talk about our swing sex and associated feelings a lot. (It usually ends up getting us hot and bothered for each other.) Occassionally questions are such that we can't give the right answer or go to the depth that the question requires with a hip-shot answer, so I (or she) might say, "I have to think about that." And we do come back to it. If one of us is having a bad day and asks a question that's not designed to communicate, but rather attack, the questionee will call the questioner on that and say, "Is that a real question, or just an attack?" If it is an attack, we'll both try to figure out what's driving the anger behind it. But as most swingers contend, swinging just doesn't work without a trusting, honest relationship.

I'm not sure what the question is asking, but venturing a guess, I'd say overwhelmingly yes, we are each other's best lovers. I qualify that by saying it's simply because our hearts, minds, beliefs, and lives are so intertwined. And being lovers, by our definition, goes far beyond our swinging sex, or even our sex with each other. The cuddling, compliments, presents, kisses, helping each other out, throughout the day is all part of the lover thing. That being said, when we swing, we both throw ourselves into our sex with our other partners. Our goal could be defined that the last sex any of us had was the best sex of our life. Whether it wife and I had it or whether it be with other partners. In our tenure of swinging, different partners do different things, and we've learned a lot by our experiences. There are some guys that for whatever reason, wife is very attracted to and has massive and multiple orgasms. And vice-versa. Interestingly, early on in our relationship, wife (then girlfriend) had introduced me to several very cute women (her girlfriends) who were either in open-marriages or single. And I learned a lot about loving (wife's), sharing, technique, and massively pleasurable sex. So bottom line, we expect each other to have mind-blowing orgasms with our swing partners. And when our weekend's done, our couple friends usually stand outside, arm-in-arm and wave, and we wave out the window as we leave for home, usually with wife's head on my shoulder.

Had the wife and her sis several times. It's fun, they just take turns as they are both straight. Still a lot of fun and looking at the pictures will keep me young in my old age! Now if I could just get the sis's hubby to stop shaking the camera!!

Always wanted my wife's older sister, she just had this very sexy way about her. Got to live that fantasy last year, and yes, she fucks like my wife.

Wife and I did a threesome with her female cousin for a while. It was great. Why we stopped is a long story, but it had nothing to do with the fact they were real cousins.

I swear this is absolutely true. October 2002, Hubby and I were at a nudist resort in Antigua, laying on the nude beach talking with other Americans there and naturally, the talk eventually turned to sex. An adorable 44 year old woman who appeared to be alone was interested in a tryst with me and hubby later in the day, which was OK with me. She later showed up at our cottage with her 24 year old daughter. I was extremely hesitant at first, but it turned out to be one of the most erotic experiences ever, she and her daughter and me and my hubby together continually changing partners was unbelievable. Obviously, both of them were more experienced than us and taught us some nice stuff. Never was a fantasy of mine or his, but it was a unique and wonderful experience. The funny thing is it was our first sexual experience with other people.

My wife is a twin, and the whole idea is my fantasy!!! Her sister started to suck my dick one night but we got interrupted. ...my wife was watching too!! We haven't done anything since, but they have promised my I could have my fantasy on my 40th B-day. 1 year, 324 days and counting.