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Sorry to hear this For what's it worth, from the very beginning I have thought there was some deeper issue here. There are plenty of "swinging didn't work out well" stories here, but this one just always seemed to have some hidden layers that no one knows except him, and he may even be repressing them and not fully understand it himself. A relationship can run seemingly ok on simple inertia for a long time even with a huge problem lurking under the surface. But when that stressor comes, the problem is let loose. Usually it's money issues, family conflict, etc. In this case it was swinging. Whatever the trigger was really doesn't matter, what does matter is there was such a deep underlying problem. That is what needs to be worked on. Once something like that is set free, just removing the trigger doesn't mean the problem goes back in its box. Wishing you all the best in this difficult time.

You are correct: life is a journey, marriage is part of that journey for many, swinging is part of that journey for a few. Happiness in life depends introspection: understanding one's own perspective, needs, wants, desires, hopes, dreams. Happiness in marriage depends on choosing a partner who is compatible. While they may not have done that private introspection, they have likely created public values that reflect those private processes. Shared values is a strong predictor of a happy marriage. Happiness in marital swinging depends on communication founded on those shared values such that the innermost feelings -- including fantasies and desires-- also become shareable. Swinging is the exploration of fantasies with clear intention and even clearer boundaries. Happiness in each is the realization of hard and sometimes risky work--understanding one self, choosing a partner, and choosing to journey into unknown territory together.

So sorry to hear this, but as it has been said before: swinging is a relationship magnifying glass...it will make a great relationship even better, but it will show every crack and flaw in a poor relationship. While I believe that swinging was the thing that caused the flaw to be shown, I don't think it was the event that caused the flaw...that has been there for awhile. It is HIS flaw, and not yours, but that doesn't make it any better or hurt any less. You just need to remember that it wasn't you. Wish we could somehow do more for you other than send you our support and hope. Thanks for letting us know what is happening (I was just thinking that I should ask for an update in your situation). We continue to be here for you...

I guess I've been remiss in not following this thread, but I'm very sorry for what you're dealing with here. I tend to agree with the posters who are suggesting that there is something else going on for him. Perhaps he felt uncomfortable with something else in the marriage, even simply a mid-life crisis type of situation, and thought swinging would patch it up, but instead amplified the problems. I don't think this is really about you.

But maybe they were in international waters.

We attended the club a few weeks back and I was totally unaware of the conspiracy going on over me between a couple we have known for sometime, my wife and a woman that came as a guest with the couple. The evening started off as normal catching up with friends, stories and laughter. I met the friend, I’ll call her Pam, she was a quiet shy woman late fourties’ short dark hair very very thin. She seemed a bit nervous but over the next hour or so at the table we all talked and in time she relaxed and joined in. While I was talking about an up coming bike ride the ladies had been talking between themselves. Something was said, we didn’t hear, that made them laugh. Pam busted out with a loud belly laugh that obviously caught her off guard…she caught herself, hand over her mouth and we all laughed more at her shocked look. That broke any remaining ice on her part. As the evening progressed people were splitting off in pairs, threesomes, foursomes and moresomes. A typical club evening. That is when the wife of the couple and my wife approached me when Pam excused herself to the ladies room. M told me about Pam, how long they have known her. How they valued their long friendship and chose to not include sharing sex play but that Pam was very curious and interested. M said she wanted her friend to have a very good experience and wanted me to ask Pam to join me. She knew I would only do what she was willing to do and not push her into things she might not be ready for. M and my wife then gave me some back ground on Pam’s past let’s just say it wasn’t pleasant and her ex was a huge Ahole. so I guess while I was busy discussing bikes, rides and an upcoming holiday ride the ladies were telling Pam about me and building her confidence. Pam returned and we started talking her and I. Just natural conversation. M her husband and my wife left together for a room and Pam and I remained. In time I asked Pam she would like to join me in a room. She looked a bit startled and blushed quite a bit. I thought I had blown it. But Pam nodded her head yes. I stood and reach out for her hand. She took mine and I walked her down to a closed room with gentle lighting, a double bed and mirrored wall. I looked at her and smiled she quietly smiled back at me and stepped into the room……. with permission from Pam I will be writing a story of this adventure later. In conversation with Pam she later explained to me the conversation she had over weeks with M and her husband and later on the phone with M and my wife. Pam’s hesitation at first but later her agreement and later meeting that evening. Her nervousness. putting this all together it was my wife and friends conspiring to pimp me out. I am flattered of course…..and greatly happy meeting Pam. But my wife pimped me out…..lol damn.

That has to be about the biggest compliment ever.

I don’t think it was the swinging. There is a deeper problem going on. Could he be cheating?

I found it easier and more fun with friends who are like minded. My wife and I have also met random people and had fun. I prefer close friends who don’t want to admit there into it but the are. They always thank us for bringing out the side they knew they had. With that said random gangbangs have always fulfilled us. Friends are more fun I feel.

Thanks Billygoat, I would love to pimp my husband out like this - lol but I would want to watch.

Gunnisons beach is part of Gateway National Park, a Federal Park. Anyone doing anything against the rules is open to Federal prosecution. Bruce Springsteen was given a shot Of tequila. He was given a citation to appear in federal court. The National Park police take their jobs seriously. NO SEX.

This is one among many reasons that we enjoy conversation here at SwingersBoard: we are constantly learning from people who are lifestyle-friendly and yet whose most interesting organ lies between the ears. Thank you to all the discussants on this thread.

Fear of being naked is a learned fear. As a child nudity was natural into my early teens when my older sister became uncomfortable. At that point a lower wrap became the after shower norm.

Returning to the theme of the original post (nudity and comfort with same), it remains surprising and disappointing that simple nudity persists as a point of contention and discussion. While there are settings in which fashion is celebrated, and there are settings in which textile separation makes sense, there are plenty of settings where fewer textiles is a reasonable and logical choice. The fact that having--or seeing--an unclothed body should make anyone uncomfortable speaks volumes about our cultural constructs and our perceptions of what it means to be human.

We reconnected with a couple we introduced to the board and their friends. Alan and I initially only met with one cpl at a time, parties were not our scene. We also didn’t build relationships with people, more of a few meeting then move on. We didn’t want any possibilities of attachment or others personal problems. The downside we gave up on some terrific times. Times change and our attitude changed we have become good friends with a cpl close to us. Yes we went to the Proving Ground in the Highlands. There is a good vibe, pretty, on the water and just over the bridge from Sandy Hook. I am pretty sure our profile says New Jersey and I see locations on other profiles. I normally look at profiles out of curiosity not for searching for hook ups. We mainly met those who are new to the lifestyle not long timers. We didn’t and don’t search here for hookups, searching is part of our fun. Now we are becoming more open to new friends. Lol. Yes.

Hey We finally managed to get the courage for a next step and it was awesome. We met up with a guy who was easy to be around and didn't pressure my wife into anything. After some foreplay, she ended up on her knees with her ass ready and the deal was for him to tease her pussy. If she wanted to fuck, she would back up on his dick which took like less than 20 seconds to decide. She backed right up and and I watched while my wife fucked him good. After a few minutes she got right into it and It was an amazing experience that she now wants to do again but next time, she would like a couple while I watch. Watching my wife being all naughty and taking another dick is an amazing thing to see, looking forward to the next time

Let’s make a date to meet one day at the shore. It’s almost impossible to find someone even when you know the person. We normally a flag, not ours, as a starting point to give directions. We stay clear of flags of a previous president. We sometimes see people in a an area that have Giants flags or a Bi flag. We should DM the next time we have plans. Looks like today will be a great day, enjoy 😎

I didn’t think anyone would because it’s so crowded and besides it was last minute and what are the odds someone close who read my post could make it there. We made plans with a member of the board who we have been with before who are still with us this morning as I’m posting. We were invited to stay at a friends house last night even though we live close enough. I’m sure sex happens quietly. As crowded as the beach gets it’s hard to be discreet. We have observed sex in the off season. Last year before Memorial Day we saw two men in an isolated area and a middle aged man taking pictures of what I hope was a legal aged young lady taking pictures.

Sounds like sex will happen. We have only gone to lakes that are nudist and camps that nudists run. Plenty of families with volleyball and tube races. I’m sure that there are LGB peeps. Who cares. Biggest problem we had was mosquitoes. We find a lot of people are natural and we are the different ones fully shaved. Liquor may or may not be allowed I know plenty of beer wine and weed.

It’s Saturday morning and New Jersey is predicting a beautiful beach day. Gunnisons parking fills up early and we will be there for breakfast on the beach. We are four couples with at least two umbrellas, one a rainbow umbrella the other blue. We try to sit close to the water if possible about 100 yards in. Just guessing we don’t measure. If you want to join us, I am blonde 5’2”, my husband is thin and 5’9 short hair. I will be wearing a beautiful new green two piece which you won’t see if we are on the beach. If you have never been here, it’s clothing optional, most are nude. No sex on the beach or anywhere else, no liquor and no taking pictures of others. Bring plenty of lotion, it’s going to be very sunny. We are planning drinks after the beach and possibly more. If you are interested the men are straight, the women bi. The beach is very LBGTQ friendly, again no sex. Hope to meet you.

Our new home was designed from the ground up to favor clothes-free living. No sightlines in from the outside. Interior courtyard. Clothed when practical, nude when possible. Just easier.

I can understand the first time hesitation that goes away in a short time. I quickly understood that nudity is natural not sexual. Go to a nude beach everyone is nude including old, young, thin, fat, pretty and not so pretty bodies and nobody cares. The more you go the less the nudity is an issue. At home nudity is just a normal thing.

I was limited from reading the article. I was apprehensive getting naked with a few couples we met on a cruise when we docked and headed to a clothing optional beach. If it were just the two of us going alone, not with a group, not fearing spending the rest of our cruise with these people I might have had different thoughts. Possibly the group strip made it easier as others were quicker to take their bathing suits off, the men were drop and go. Remembering the group we were all in decent shape I had lost some weight before the vacation knowing that I had to prepare for the eating and drinking orgy on the cruise. I think the new friends may have made it easier as if it were friends from home it would have been more awkward. In days these new friends would be going home never to be seen again. Getting naked where do you look or not look trying not to stare. Within minutes I felt at ease being nude the big feeling was not be nude it was still the not outwardly looking at others. I tried not looking down at the men. I went to that beach knowing it was nude not sex. I never thought that I would be having sex with one of the men that very night.

Some of the guys I knew from her first gangbang were friends of mine, the other one was an ex of hers. It was pretty hot!! 🔥🔥🔥

Alone play spices up the together play.

Reclamation sex is one of the hottest parts of the lifestyle, (so I'm told, we're still rookies) and it seems like you two need that. I'm not sure how since he flinches when you initiate. But don't give up.

We partied with my wife's neice and her boyfriiend, it was pretty hot because we were in our early 40s and they were bearly legal so to speak. Young stuff make me feel young again.

Billygoat, I know you said the "but my wife pimped me out....lol damn" tongue in cheek and I share your reaction. Obviously this was decision by committee with you being the only one not invited to the board meeting, lol. In so many ways, this was a really positive thing for all concerned, and centred on trust, respect, and communication. So many times we hear about the negative things that transpire in this pursuit; it's great to hear about some of the very positive ones, like this. Many thanks for sharing this Billygoat.

Hotlanta eh? Since I was 14 I always have fantasized about being sandwich by an older couple. Being in the wife while husband is in me listening to her wants and desires and with pleasure following her orders. Letting her husband cum in me and cuming in her. I really don't know what it is but still have that fantasy at 47 to be with a couple in mid 50 to mid 60"s to sandwich me wouldn't mind if there was more than one dick that the women wanted my body to satisfy. As long as I got to eat her pussy and cum in her by mouth,pussy or her ass.

Experienced this last weekend. Met a bi m/f cpl for motel play. We all agreed to bareback sex, since all three produced written records of our latest test results beforehand. She was very nice, and an expert @ what she was doing. He was toned, and pretty hot, with a PHAT cock, very thick. He expressed that he wanted me to fuck him while she watched. So we all got naked & he and I started sucking each other. He then rolled over to the doggie position. I lubed his ass really good. This was only his 2nd time bottoming. She came over to the bed as I slid my stiff cock into him. She maneuvered herself underneath him, 69, with her nose rubbing my balls with each stroke. It was an erotic moment. He started grinding his ass into me as I was balls deep. She stated she wanted me to cum inside him, and he concurred. As I neared the point of no return, she started licking my balls, and that's all it took. I sprayed my load deep in his ass, while he was moaning & grinding against me. When I exited his hole she sucked his cock. He unloaded, and she said it was the biggest load she'd ever had from him. It was an experience not soon to be forgotten. They expressed the desire to meet again, so he could fuck me. I agreed wholeheartedly

Actually, I think this discussion is entirely germane to the OP. My take? When considering the probable success of any specific marriage, focusing on the structure of the relationship, monogamous versus open, is misguided. Rather, the success of any relationship is based upon the people involved, and their respective relationship skills and overall emotional and mental health. The right couple can make a monogamous relationship work beautifully. Likewise, the right couple can make an open relationship work beautifully. Conversely, emotionally unhealthy people, or those with poor relationship skills, are likely doomed no matter what kind of relationship structure they have. However, it is hard to argue against the position that open relationships introduce more emotional variables and potential pitfalls than do monogamous relationships. That is the underlying point of Dr. Brody and other medical professionals quoted in my reply to Peter.

My wife and I have a lot of fantasies about this subject, and we've tried many things so far. Recently I was on a business trip and on the day I was supposed to arrive, my wife called and told me that she had a surprise for me when I arrived. I got very excited and decided to take a potency-boosting drug 15 minutes before entering the house. When I arrived and walked into the house, I was very surprised as my wife was having sex with two men, and I immediately joined them. The evening went great:)

It’s Football season and the Rose Bowl didn’t stop me from finishing before Debbie’s partner. I want to say he’s my hero and knows the statistics of every Hall of Famer.

Baseball 🤣

Try it, you’ll like it. Merry Christmas 🎄

Don’t overthink what might happen, just make sure you are both thinking alike. There is only one first time, there is no putting the toothpaste back in the tube. Make a promise to Debbie that you will never hold her actions against her, then ask her for the same commitment. Enjoy your trip and have a Merry Christmas.

So I've always had the higher libido, even in my twenties but I was an exotic dancer so I was surrounded by sex 8 to 10 hours a day, and the mind wants what you feed it. My big change when I hit my 30s was more in what I wanted to do sexually started to evolve. In my twenties I was all about Male/Female vaginal sex, I sucked cock but not a lot, and I did zero anal. In my thirties I realized I loved sucking dick, and in the right circumstances I love anal. I also got less uptight about societal norms and started being open about my bisexuality and openly put women on my dance card.

The common wisdom is that men want sex a lot more than women. The reality is that women have both a greater capacity for sex and (especially as we collectively entered our thirties) a greater desire for sex. I found the more I get, the more I want. Opening up to my Lesbian side made that even more true.

there is no one set answer, some hotwifing things are about humiliation of the cucked man so she would probably deny him access to her. while other women do not do the humiliation things and let their husbands watch or even play along and other women have regular men that they see but their husbands don't come along. there are many, many different situations. as for divorce, that is always a possibility but it is lessened by have conversations, boundaries and a strong relationship but there is always the chance that a wife will bond with her bull and leave her husband. the first step into hot wifing is to discuss things and be certain that both parties are willing, if she is forced into doing this, if she feels that she is only doing it to please her husband then things can go bad. it's all about communication

Here is an idea that we are going to try this summer when traveling. We bought an SLS bumper sticker and put it onto a magnetic backer as we can not leave it on all the time. While staying in motels and campgrounds as we travel it will be interesting to see if we get and response.

Update: Prince Henry wears a black ring...maybe he's a swinger! Nope, it’s a super high tech ring that tracks everything from REM sleep to your daily calorie burn from a company called Oura. I was going to insert some pictures of shirts that can be used to identify swingers but they quickly didn't necessarily mean what I was hoping: Golfers, swing sets, monkeys, cross fit training, boxing, metal detecting...however I did find one shirt that I really liked, but still don't believe in. It said: I believe in unicorns...because I have ridden one. Side track is over, switching back to main line.

We both just got black rings....and try to wear them in public as much as possible. My bank teller (Male) was wearing one yesterday on his middle finger. Next bank visit I will ask him!!!

What GoldCoCouple say is true. I will add that Web sites of this kind have facilities called "Hot Date" or "Booty Call" that will facilitate organizing something like this. You put a prospective event onto a calendar and men can answer the solicitation. Also will provide you the time needed to sort through the men to filter those not desirable.

Female half here: We have only had 2 MFM threesomes, and we (both of us) love them. I had never really thought about it before my husband brought it up, and at first I wasn't a fan of the idea either. But the more we talked about it, the more I started to think the idea of it was kind of hot, and eventually I did start to fantasize about it. I'm not trying to tell you to talk her into it, just letting you know how it happened for us.

TO ANSWER MY OWN QUESTIONS 1/ How long have you been bareback-only? We have been married 14 years and my wife and I have been swingers the entire time. During that 14 years, we have been 100% bareback-only 2/ How did you come to this decision? Was a mutual decision by both of us, although Sarah was particularly insistent 3/ Is the attraction of bareback to you (and your wife, etc) physical (ie sensation) or psychological (ie do you view swinging as incomplete unless cum is exchanged?)?For us it is both physical and psychological. 4/ Do you find many swingers couples are bareback-only? (We find the real number is much higher than those who will openly admit it)We certainly find a much higher number of swinger couples are bareback-only that will openly admit it. We have been to parties and venues where condoms are provided, but have on some occassions observed not a single one being used. 5/ Has it ever seriously limited the number of potential partners? No, in fact it has in our opinion increased interest in us. 6/ For those who go to swingers parties/clubs (as Sarah and I do), have you ever been to any which are specifically bareback-only events/venues.Yes, we know of and have attended several bareback-only events/venues here in Australia. We also are involved in organising regular bareback-only parties in Sydney, at a friend's house (they are also involved in the lifestyle). Condoms are not part of the acceptable 'dress code' at these events.

No replies yet... LOL, we will be the brave ones... 1/ How long have you been bareback-only? We both have been 90% bareback only for as long as we can remember. The reason for 90% is mainly for me (Lance) as I have not had a vasectomy yet, so must use condoms with women who are not fixed or not on birth control. 2/ How did you come to this decision? It comes naturally (no pun intended). 3/ Is the attraction of bareback to you physical (ie sensation) or psychological (ie do you view swinging as incomplete unless cum is exchanged) Sex is incomplete without a sensual liquid exchange. It feels better mentally and physically. 4/ Do you find many that many swingers couples are bareback-only? (We find the real number is much higher than those who will openly admit it) Nearly every couple or single we swing with have been open and inviting to bareback! 5/ Has it ever seriously limited your number of potential partners? Not at all! 6/ For those who go to swingers parties/clubs (as Sarah and I do), have you ever been to any which are specifically bareback-only events/venues. Yes, we have been to many parties that are orgy style and bareback only! FUN! :-) Lance & Jess

This is a very interesting topic. Jess and I hate condoms. The bareback gangbang sounds hot.

I don't think there is a way to know. I think I'm a very normal looking woman but I did meet a couple walking in our neighborhood a few weeks ago and she was wearing a sls t shirt. I didn't mention that we swing or that I'm a hotwife. I have worn a mfm necklace but nobody notices it. R

When we were at Universal Studios last month I saw a couple that I am almost sure were swingers... and I expected to see them at our hotel later but never did (to my knowledge). We were eating lunch and I saw this woman in her 50's come out of the restroom wearing very short shorts and a halter top (over her VERY large breasts), as she left the bathroom I was watching to see what she would do and she went towards the outside area of the dining room where the windows were and stopped at a table where two young guys were sitting, from where I was standing it was pretty obvious she was flirting. She did not stay there but moved on to the order line and (apparantly) her husband. So they were either swingers, or she was just a cougar.

"That said, though the risks associated with unprotected sex can be high -- they are statistically no higher than driving your car or smoking and they are lower than some extreme sports" So true. Well said. As Michael Fumento said: - Author Michael Fumento, in his book The Myth of Heterosexual AIDS, offers substantial evidence that white, middle-class, non-IV drug abuser heterosexuals are in less danger of contracting AIDS thru non-anal, sexual intercourse than they are of dying from shark attacks, being hit by lightning, or accidentally drowning in the bathtub. The book is very well referenced and documented. The book was reviewed by the Journal of the American Medical Assn as "the best single source available to enable heterosexual persons to assess their personal risk." Very best wishes, Paul