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With case numbers going up and Long COVID a possibility …we’re still on the sidelines.

My approach would be not to be so confrontational. Tell her that if she is seeing someone else that's ok, but you would like to know about it. That's what I told my wife when we first got into the lifestyle with my urging with her playing alone. Worked for us, we were both happier. We moved on to playing within a closed group of couples, so I play now too; worked out great. The only other rule we have is no married men unless the wife knows and approves. We both play alone and don't necessarily talk about it in detail, but we know when one of us is connecting with someone else in our group.

Numex — Yes, the OP *did* write, “After a 3 month discussion, my wife and I decided to try opening our relationship”, which I took to mean they were OK having sex with others, and in fact they’ve done so in each other’s presence. However, he didn’t say they’d decided to have an OPEN relationship … that’s a very different thing! Pretty much everything he wrote after his second sentence indicate that he’s definitely *not* OK with his wife having a relationship outside of their marriage. He wrote that he even “asked her if she is seeing someone behind my back”, so why would you counsel him to say if it’s fine with him when it sounds to me that it’s not? Am I missing something here?

The host says all guests are vaxxed and boosted, but rapid tests are not required. We just took our rapid tests and have pics. We last attended this party 6 or 7 years ago with friends who won't be in attendance this year. Hosts are our age, but I think most of the other couples will be younger. The Mrs. is more worried about being naked around the younger wives than anything else lol. Funny, I don't remember either of us being nervous last time we attended. Regarding the potato salad @cplnluv, yeah we usually stay away from the food at these events - not bc we don't trust it, just bc we don't want onion breath etc. We're not heavy drinkers so a couple drinks by the pool and we'll be looking to make connections...

We had our first smaller “party” last week with three other couples. Normally we meet just one couple by choice without all the pressure or fear of being a super spreader. We had been cautious when meeting others taking many home tests. Last week we met two friends who happen to be friends too and another couple. Butterflies for me too, having sex with multiple men is not in my playbook, we waited to Wednesday to take a home test again and we tested negative as did our friends. Have fun, keep the liquor down and stay away from the potato salad. Just think of 10 couples is making me wonder what it’s like after just a four couple get together.

Except that maybe he’s *not* OK with it? ‘cos it sure sounds that way to me from what he wrote.

Yeah,same here to us.My wife got off hornier when I cum on her nipples then suck her nipples off as well as give her a kiss after she sucked my cock.

There are swinger’s clubs, such as Trapeze in Ft.Lauderdale, Colette’s in Dallas and New Orleans. Newbies can go there one night with no intention to swap and watch what happens. Not to be pervs about it, but there are open play areas where people are ok being watched. You can even have sex just with each other there. It’s a step in the swinging direction and a chance to feel the vibe.

Yes, but... There is only more with your sex life as a couple, which can be greater than the sum of the two parts. Individually, if you both are already happy with your individual sex lives, I don't think you are going to find swinging changes that much. Nor should it. But as a couple, I think you will find it supercharges your sex life as the compersion thing kicks in and her sexual happiness becomes part of you on top of your individual happiness and satisfaction, and same for her with you. I'm going to quibble... I don't think there is "more." I think there is "other." My wife and I are happy. We enjoy sex together. We have fun together. As cplnuswing says later, we know each other and we know what works for each other. What's more, because we communicate well, when we want to explore something new (in the bedroom or out) we are pretty willing to discuss it. What swinging brings to us is new and different opportunities. It isn't more. It isn't better (A lot of new people post the question "what do I do if the other person my partner is with is better/bigger/hotter/whatever than me?"). It's just different. Part of it is new experiences. My wife and I have both picked up some new tricks from swinging partners that we wouldn't have known we enjoyed if we hadn't encountered them. Part of it is things you just physically can't do with only two people. However, as I said, I would never call any of it "more." We actually haven't been able able to swing since we moved several years ago. While we both miss the fun of it, our sex lives are still plenty satisfying without it.

WE read so many posts last night. Some questions brought up more questions. Questions brought up conversation, conversation lead to SEX. Not a bad thing. Debbie asked me if I would watch, do I want to watch, would I enjoy watching, would I watch if it was our friend or better with a stranger. Good questions. She additionally asked if I think our lady friend is attractive, would I pick her up if she was in a singles bar and we were all single. She asked me if ever thought of her friend sexually before. Last night I sure did all night. I blocked out the thought of our male friend and Debbie and undressed in my mind the girlfriend. In my mind YEAH I would do it. Can I? Read a lot about sex with friends, pros and cons. I could go bad, more for us, less for them. They are already swingers. We read a thread that it’s better with people you know and like, and we read do we lose friends if it goes bad. We are still dealing with the can we question. Do we want to question. The more we talk the more curious we become. We found a recent article in a newsfeed, Is Monogamous Sex, Monotonous Sex. I never thought it monotonous but is it? Do we have the same sex every time, do we change it up? We have been monogamous since we became committed. She never complained about our sex, I’m happy, is there more? Debbie’s question if I would watch and enjoy, I asked her if she could watch. She said she would if I wanted. More talk, more questions, more answers, more excitement, more doubt, more reassurance. We decided that to the moment we can change our minds.

Welcome. Here, I think you will find lots of people open and willing to answer any questions you have. So, to the heart of your questions... Depends on what you mean by "normal" I suppose. Conventional wisdom suggests that swinging just isn't right for the vast majority of people. Our society trains us for monogamy. Our cultural stories emphasize the idea that people should join together in pairs and that breaking that bond is wrong. There is even an argument to made that jealousy is a hardwired response related to our instinctive drive to perpetuate our DNA. Swingers, however, don't embrace that. For my wife and myself, we were never monogamous even before we knew what swinging was. We simply are not wired for it. I personally take great pleasure in watching my wife fucking someone else and she takes great pleasure in being watched. For us, it's a happy, positive, enjoyable experience that actually strengthens the bond we share. For you, it sounds like it's not. What is important to realize that that is OK. It is OK for swinging to wrong for you (just like it is OK for it to be right for us). Everyone has different things that work for them.

We don't follow any porn sites, if a visual thrill is needed we just watch others in our family doing it. It is an advantage of being in a poly family - I can see things that I otherwise wouldn't be able to see if it were just from the vantage of me and another person. I do, however, have maybe two dozen kinky pictures and videos on my phone (NOT of anyone in the family) for when I am alone traveling for business and I want to masturbate.

That's my rule with any guy who wants to go into/ejaculate inside me - if I don't get at least one orgasm you better go down on me and do a good job. With experience I can now almost always orgasm before or along with the guys I have sex with, but fortunately they are also willing to lick me to a second O.

I don't like licking up my own cum. This has everything to do with the fact i just orgasmed so my libido is no longer on full blast. But if another guy cums on my wife's tits before I cum, I am either: Climbing on and sliding around on those slippery tits while i fuck her Licking it up

My wife 38 and I was 40 at the time. It was on a weekend getaway with a couple about half our ages that were very close friends of ours. Although there was no sex between the couples, we all had sex with our spouses together on a very small camper bed. The bed was small enough that there was a lot of incidental body contact between the two couples. Needless to say, we two couples had sex in front of each other a few more times on the getaway. We were also a bit high a lot of the time, and I remember my wife putting the move on our male friend, but for some reason, I kept it from happening. Stopping her was one of the worst things I ever did, but at the time I was afraid he would reject her advance and embarrass her. Two years later we were seduced into swinging by another couple who had been our best friend for several years. It was a complete surprise when it happened, but we eagerly split up and my wife played with him and I played with his wife. And my wife never had any regrets.

At 16, I was seriously exploring. First with same room sex, then swapping with NSA friends, did a short train and a fmf. At 17 and 18, more of the same and began actively pursuing fmf threesomes. For a very long time after I married, I was a good girl...then when I hit my 40's *BAM* full out swinging:)

Her, age 27 now: age 17, single, at a friends house party, with 3 guys in same room, no condoms age 20 started going to swing clubs. age 22, couple, 1st gangbang with 5 other men at a local swingers club, condoms for sex, no condoms for oral. age 22, 2nd gangbang with about 20 men at a hotel in a large double room, condoms for sex, no condoms for oral. age 23, couple, 3rd gangbang with about 25 men at the same hotel, bareback sex with half of them, no condoms for oral. Age now 27 Hubby, now age 32: age 25, 1st gangbang with 2 women and 3 other men. age 27 started going to swing clubs, including with me. age 26-30 he went to a few other gangbang events. Plus he setup my gangbangs.

There are those nights where ANYTHING goes Teresa

The memorable part for us isn't so much when it happened, but how. We had been at our local club for the evening -- we were working, the first half of the night -- and we had wandered back to the group room later on, just to chat with friends we knew were already there. One thing led to another and we got busy, just the two of us, 'cuz we've got an exhibitionism appetite that we like to feed. But another couple we knew laid down beside us and the play started between us kind of lightly. Then a another...before we knew it, about 5 or 6 couples were there and very very busy. We made a couple of new and eventually very good friends that night. A very special evening to us.

My first experiences were around 18 to 19 when we'd be on double dates and be in a hot tub at one of our homes when the parents weren't there and we'd both have sex with our respective partners in front of each other. That progressed into some soft swap activity for awhile, then it kind of died-out for me until I married Mrs. WS and we discovered we had many of the same sexual fantasies as well as ideas about the separation of sex from love. That was when I was 38, so there was a good 18 years or so with no swinging activity of any nature.