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I agree with what you are saying and what the poster's current attitude is. My suggestion is that he perhaps consider changing course and adjust his attitude. Many people here are comfortable with their spouses playing alone or with another couple. I do agree that she needs to be honest with him. He should consider that if he is ok for his wife to have sex with someone else, why isn't ok for them to care about each other? I much prefer that a guy that my wife is screwing cares about her and doesn't just treat her as a cum dump. It's reassuring to me that should anything happen to me he and his wife both care about Daniela.

My feelings about my wife as well. To other men Daniela's nonmonogamy was a deal breaker, for me it is a wonderful character trait. Yet she is fiercely loyal to me and our daughter. Other men have missed the best part of her.

The women in our poly family don't usually suck dick to ejaculation, and when we do, we usually swallow after making a big deal of rolling it around in our mouth. Our guys aren't shy about kissing afterwards. Sometimes, however, before swallowing we women will snowball it back and forth between us. The guys like watching, but won't participate.

Numex — Yes, the OP *did* write, “After a 3 month discussion, my wife and I decided to try opening our relationship”, which I took to mean they were OK having sex with others, and in fact they’ve done so in each other’s presence. However, he didn’t say they’d decided to have an OPEN relationship … that’s a very different thing! Pretty much everything he wrote after his second sentence indicate that he’s definitely *not* OK with his wife having a relationship outside of their marriage. He wrote that he even “asked her if she is seeing someone behind my back”, so why would you counsel him to say if it’s fine with him when it sounds to me that it’s not? Am I missing something here?

The host says all guests are vaxxed and boosted, but rapid tests are not required. We just took our rapid tests and have pics. We last attended this party 6 or 7 years ago with friends who won't be in attendance this year. Hosts are our age, but I think most of the other couples will be younger. The Mrs. is more worried about being naked around the younger wives than anything else lol. Funny, I don't remember either of us being nervous last time we attended. Regarding the potato salad @cplnluv, yeah we usually stay away from the food at these events - not bc we don't trust it, just bc we don't want onion breath etc. We're not heavy drinkers so a couple drinks by the pool and we'll be looking to make connections...

Changes occur in all relationships, for many different reasons. Communication is the key. regardless of how open and close a couple is in a relationship, both parties often hold a few things back from the other due to embarrassment, not wanting to hurt the other, worried the other will look at them differently, and not sure of their own feelings and why they are feeling the way they are. All of those things need to be brought out into the open and discussed. I do not believe any relationship can go through the opening of a marriage without a few bumps in the road.

There are what seem to be reasons for concern here. Without knowing the entire history and dynamic of the relationship though, it is hard to know if this some innocent and not uncommon "feeling her oats" that some women experience due to finally being able to step outside the wife/mom role that has consumed their every waking minute for years and decades, or whether there is something more to it. The only way to find out is just keep communicating about it. Not in an accusatory way, but in an open and understanding way. It takes two to make a relationship, so in some ways she is a reflection of your actions/approach in the relationship, and you are reflection of hers.

When she is with you, I'm sure that sometimes she just wants you to 'make love' with her. Not just use her, but show that you love and care for her. When she is with someone else, without the love and emotions, it can be okay to just be used. You need to be willing to give her what she wants at times. But the second part of your post is what is more disturbing. It sounds like you have given her some power and she is abusing it, probably because she isn't used to having it. Time for another talk, but maybe with your heart in your hand. You need to be more sensitive to her wants and needs, and she needs to then return in kind. Let her know how you are feeling since great relationships are built on love, trust and communication. You need to show her more love and communication. As for swinging, you need to stop until you can reestablish the trust in your relationship. Good luck and let us know how things are progressing.

The general consensus/rule seems to be "never go ass to pussy" or mouth. That's certainly our rule. Question: Is a guy allowed to go from one girl's bum hole to another? It's happened strictly within our family several times, however, when a guy is up in a bum he almost always cums quickly. (OTOH, A guy going from pussy to pussy, or a woman switching dicks midcourse before either orgasms, is usual play.)

Will do. Don't want to mess too much with near perfection. I've been told that the walls are a nice pink, so that will stay the same. Maybe look for any damage the kids did on their way through and patch that up. The illumination isn't great, perhaps add some mood lighting. A couple of Georgia O'Keeffe paintings would be appropriate. I'm not a fan of bling, but what's the female equivalent of a Prince Albert? That would give the guys a surprise.

Maybe I'll redecorate my vaginal walls.

No one who has ever seen my pussy has asked me, "How does that work?"

Damn, all that equipment. One of the things I like about sex is that it doesn't require special clothing or equipment. Everything needed you always have with you! I'm always prepared if there are a few minutes and a little privacy.

This isn't my original thought (I read it elsewhere) but I agree with it: why does the number of different sex partners that a woman has had matter more than the total amount of sex that she's had? Why is a woman who has had tame sex 1000 times with 150 different men over a fifteen year sex life deemed more sexually experienced than a married woman who has had kinky sex with one man 100,000 times in the same fifteen years? What about the woman who has had sex only 1000 times and only with two men, but frequently had threesomes with them. All this name calling is stupid.

I guess I never responded to this. What I meant was that *we* were going to definitely have intercourse after she got back and we had our drinks out.

I'm not sure what even constitutes "cuckold" in this lifestyle. Most of the time I would say we don't do any "cuckold" type of stuff the way in which it is used on here or seen in porn but we do it occasionally. As for being passive I would say that I am usually more passive than most of the guys in these situations and that seems to work well for us. I am not saying it makes sense logically but I think there is a sort of psychological game where having on additional clothes made me feel more mentally at ease and comfortable in the situation. Not to sound homophobic or anything but I don't particularly like the feeling of my bare body touching another man's bare body in a sexual setting like DP. Having clothes on helped put that mental block away, eased my mind a bit, and helped me perform better. Maybe that sounds weird but it worked for me. We plan to try again and see if it goes well again.

We both love it. Been playing with one couple for years now. That said there have been moments where the other women feels left out. My wife is a cum slut..hehe, she hates that name but so true. Sex isn’t sex to her unless she’s gets filled up. Communication is the key and we work to respect everyone’s feelings.

My current GF has been curious about swinging and nonmonogamy in general, and not found anyone she could be open about it with. When we started talking, and she found that instead of the idea bothering me, I was an enthusiastic supporter, she was able to talk about some fantasies that she's never been able to say out loud before. I don't think she really believed that it was okay with me. The first time she came to me after a hot date, she was so excited to shot me her creampie, and she came almost instantly when I pushed into her. I think that afternoon, she was finally able to relax and trust that I like her, even when she's leaking another guy's cum. She's still at the early stages of the lifestyle, and I"m encouraging her to take small steps so that she's comfortable at each new experience. But so far, it's been a helluva ride. To think that several guys let this one get away... well, it certainly works out to my benefit. As to sloppy seconds (or thirds, or fifths, or whatever), the hotter and slippery-er (yes, that's a word now) she is, the better. Also, the more turned on she is the better. She gets SO turned on showing off for me, that the sex can't be anything but amazing.

We've had that discussion in our family, how when one of us has really been hard at it, she/he is very attractive. Works both ways for us women.

Yes yes YES - fingers anally while humpty de dumptying. And I agree DP is another level and must be done with people you have trained with, I have never just done it and it worked out. And though I can take larger anally than vaginally in normal anal, not in DP - no way hosay in the beginning. Always have the smaller do the anal initially and work your way up to the larger as in most all cases. The only reason larger makes sense eventually is that you need the length to make it work best. Although we have a few guys now with long thin ones that make for the best DP without a doubt.

aint that a trip down memory lane

That's the philosophy for all of us. Especially me - I like those little swimmers living inside of me for days. If there is semen to be swallowed, it is usually by one of us women performing oral on another one of us women after we've been with a guy, although the guys will go down on us if we request it.

Since you know the other couple has been swinging for a year, I'll assume the subject of swinging has come up. Very often couples spend an evening talking about any subject other than swinging, never broaching the subject you are all thinking about. Preparation: Go out to dinner. Sit at a square table with the men and women across from each other. American "double-date" etiquette calls for wives to sit to their husband's right which places Mrs. Playmate across the table from you, beyond reach both physically and mentally. Change that in the interest of more open communication. Your wife should put the following into her own words. "We've talked a lot about swinging. We understand the issues and believe we can cope with them. We'd like to have our first experience with y'all. Our kids are at Grandma's for the weekend. Would y'all like to come over to our house, swap partners and have sex?" Sit quietly and wait for an answer. "First one to talk loses." Even if you get a positive answer, the social barriers won't be eliminated. Laura and I once invited Rick and Jo to our house. Both couples had agreed to swing. Nevertheless, we sat on our sectional, Jo beside me and Laura beside Rick, talking about books, movies, the latest recipes, etc. "Do y'all know any good ice-breakers?" asked Rick. "Kissing does it for me," replied Laura. "HUH?" said Rick. "If you were to kiss me, I think any ice you're feeling would melt away." She was right.

We can offer a few observations. --Make sure that both you and your spouse are on the same page--how far you want to take things. We wrote about this in an essay at this site a couple of years ago. It's more than "definitely interested in playing with. Here are our three points before going on the second date: 1. What are our fantasies? We are doing this for fun and with each other. We are going to blur the line between fantasy and reality. What does that look like? 2. What are our intentions? What is the reality of what we are going to do together? How much exploration do we plan? 3. What are our boundaries? Are we clear on what we will do together and what we expect of each other? What does approaching a limit look like, and what will we do if-and-when either of us gets there? --Make that second date flexible and yet with a clear intention, for example..."How about dinner on Saturday? We were planning a light meal at our place. The hot tub is warmed up, too. What, if any, dietary restrictions or preferences do you have?" That last part turns out to be useful because you have made clear that you are concerned about and respectful of any restrictions or preferences they have in one domain of their lives, and you are likely to be just as respectful in other domains. Yes, this matters. --Regardless of whether you are at a restaurant, or at home, or wherever, make the invitation clear AND give the other couple some time/space to decide. If we're at a restaurant, we'll make the invitation and then Mrs. FL will need to use the ladies' room and I will excuse myself to make a quick phone call. This gives the other couple the option of speaking with each other or the Mrs can follow Mrs. FL to the ladies' room for a private conversation. Either way it gives the other couple a bit of breathing room. If we're at home, while we're carrying dinner dishes from the table, we'll simply ask whether they would prefer dessert indoors or out on the deck by the hot tub. Again, it puts the ball in their court and allows them to make the decision. The general idea is to make your intention clear and yet give them a way to gracefully decline. --Assuming things are progressing, this is a good time to ask about their restrictions/boundaries and to tell them yours. --Patience is a virtue.

Very simply say, "We like you guys. Would you care to come home with us?" Or to a private room at a club, or a hotel room or whatever. They'll get the idea. Someone in the group needs to be a little aggressive; else nothing is ever going to happen.

I don’t understand it and I’ll tell you I don’t think I ever well, the idea of having sloppy seconds disgust me but if that’s the way you roll that he good for you. More power to you if you like it but I’m just thinking why in the hell do I want another man’s sperm on my dick. Just doesn’t seem right