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We want to thank the event planner and our new friends who invited us to a real event. Having only heard about big events, never attending one, we could only imagine it being a full out orgy. We have posted we are primarily a one on one with sex the only goal. It was the only reason to meet. We enjoyed most of the meetings we have had making friendships and keeping long term relationships to a minimum. Things changed recently keeping in touch with a few new friends socially and sexually. This event was by invite, this time we were outsiders not knowing most of the others. The ages were wide ranging, mid-twenties to I think seventies, the majority around 40s. We normally keep our drinking and eating to a minimum when we know that sex is the optimum outcome. This was more of a party atmosphere with meeting and talking to new friends. Real conversation, real world events discussed not only sex. Secretly I had a fear of not being attractive enough to attract others. I knew just a few others, would that be it. It wasn’t. I was getting a drink when a couple started a conversation and asked if I was alone. When I said I was with my husband they said get him and join us with their friends. It broke the ice for us. We met great people and had a great time.

This is a pretty old thread. However, since FOSTA started a few years ago everyone has really restricted access. It killed Craigslist after all, but at the same time forced the owners of the website to monitor and take responsibility for what is happening on their websites. The goal was to discourage sex workers/sex trafficking. The way most chose to deal with this was to cut out all free accounts OR to give you the tiniest taste possible without allowing you to communicate and hook up at all. SLS, I believe, Allows you to view 15 profiles per day no emails, no KIK, emails, or outside contact. I think there may be some limited IM but in the end, recent laws have made the website owners responsible for the activity on their site. It’s not worth being fined or shut down because someone isn’t serious enough to drop a few $$$ per month to invest in their pursuits. It’s a little like any other investment (college, career, real estate, stock market) you have to invest something to get a return. People looking to get rich (or laid) quickly with no effort are going to be disappointed and maybe even scammed before giving up or going the traditional route.

I don't like licking up my own cum. This has everything to do with the fact i just orgasmed so my libido is no longer on full blast. But if another guy cums on my wife's tits before I cum, I am either: Climbing on and sliding around on those slippery tits while i fuck her Licking it up

Wish we could find a local closed group to join or be able to put one together. Finding couples where everyone is 'attracted' to everyone else is usually rather hard, but then think of how hard it was to find one other person that you were attracted to and they to you...and you enjoyed spending time with them and you all shared a common set of beliefs and experiences. Now multiply that by four. The benefit is that once you find them, it's usually worth the effort you spent.

Very hot stories! I thought I would bring this one back to the top. My first MM experience was at the Red Rooster in Vegas. It was also my very first time with another couple. I was playing with them in a private room, he was fucking his wife as I caressed her. I asked if I could go down on her as he fucked her and he approved. As he pushed in I would swirl my tongue on the top of his cock and he said that I could go ahead and suck him. Well I did and loved it. I tried to suck him down my throat, but I wasn't that experienced to get it down. I would have love to continue but he asked if I wanted to fuck her. Well, I wasn't going to turn that offer down either! I put a rubber on and put my cock inside her and came very quickly. I usually last for a while but this time I was so excited I couldn't stand it!

There's a Newcastle in CA as well...only a couple of miles away from us.

The women in our poly family don't usually suck dick to ejaculation, and when we do, we usually swallow after making a big deal of rolling it around in our mouth. Our guys aren't shy about kissing afterwards. Sometimes, however, before swallowing we women will snowball it back and forth between us. The guys like watching, but won't participate.

Yes, to the extent that all four people would be really happy with the swap. That's why we are in a closed group (we don't play outside the group for health & safety purposes) of six married couples. Couples do get together for couples fun occasionally, but there is much more alone play, including Daniela and me, both just a guy and woman, and threesomes. It also allows with threesomes to throw all the kids together and the one not playing watches them at the other house or takes them out. Everyone has played with everyone else and still does to some degree, but everyone has their favorite play partners as well. So my advice is to look for situations where there are multiple couples and you can each go your own way. We formed a closed group because we all like bareback and there is no concern about physical safety. So going to a club or finds a small group may be better for you two.

New Castle Colorado?

I just re read your original post. What I get: The two of you met and agreed in private to play with a couple. It was a mate swap situation. You had a good time. Your husband was disturbed by your good time and was having less of a good time because of it. He eventually got up and left. You followed him. Is that a reasonable summation of the story? If it is, then the only thing that I can see that you did was to not pick up sooner on how he was doing. If my wife is enjoying someone else I expect that to be her focus. Yes she does glance over occasionally as do I. The operative word there is occasionally. Otherwise you did what I would consider reasonable. Just because he felt bad does NOT mean you cuckolded him. The fact that he has not at least somewhat comes to grips at this point means , to me, that there is more going on. Even if you had made some egregious error, I would expect a "normal" response, from just this incident alone , to be something other than divorcing. The Divorce idea may just be one of the avenues of escape that he is trying on for size. I had a similar, but not as extensive, experience. Hurt, crabby, after a weekend party. I did not know why, and my wife had done everything to perfection. Several days later I had a memory that went all the way back to high school age, that evoked strong emotion. It was however the emotional response of a 17 year old. Evidently an unresolved emotional response. Triggered by the playtime. That was the cause . The most embarrassing thing was telling my bride what it was. I think many of us carry around such minor and sometimes not so minor things from a time when we were not mature enough to adequately process them. I hope for both of your sakes that this gets straightened out.

It's interesting that you view these as two separate activities.

Her: If it is an overnight thing, we have more than one session. It sort of depends. We love to visit naked. Part of the fun is the verbal play. I think the verbal play is just as much fun.

Most of our gatherings are fairly long. The sex isn't happening the entire time, but we would be together for 4-6 hours and sometimes longer. Often late into the night.

So my wife and I had our first swinging experience last week. It started off as two couples just having sex in the same room and then we all agreed to swap partners. Knowing my wife’s concerns with jealousy I confirmed probably 7 times that it’s something she wanted to do and was comfortable with it. I know in retrospect this conversation should have happened before. We each had sex with the other couple twice and all was well and good until the next day. My wife is incredibly upset and regrets our decision. I fully support her decision that she does not want to do it again and have made it clear this changes nothing and love her with all of my heart. The helpful thing is we will likely never see this couple again as we met them on vacation in a different state. She struggles with the fact that I am not jealous that she had sex with another guy. In fact I told her it turned me on. I no way is she blaming me or the other couple but she’s really hurting. Any advice? Or do I just continue to let her know I’m here for her and let her go through the grieving process? Thanks.

I think a lot of these replies are attempting to answer a question you didn't ask and/or trying to persuade you to keep pushing the cart down this path. Here are some different points to consider: Having sex with someone outside of marriage has ruined far more relationships than it has enhanced. That is simple fact. In most relationships, the fantasy of having sex with someone other than your spouse should stay exactly that--a fantasy. Despite the impression you may find on this sight, it is a rare couple that is secure enough with themselves, their spouses, and their relationship, to allow repeated sexual contact with people outside of their marriage and still keep their marriage intact. And, just like in the vanilla community, the incidence of divorce among swinging couples is quite high. Should you and your wife decide to continue along this pathway, I suggest in the strongest terms you agree on your boundaries and stick to them. Respectfully, you two made a massive error in judgement: There is a world of difference between having sex in the same room as another couple (a harmless form of both exhibitionism and voyeurism) versus having sex with the other couple. As a couple, you were simply not ready for it. And you may never be. And that's perfectly okay. You're no less of a couple for it. As far as helping your wife get through it? You said she was "really hurting" and "grieving"... those are interesting word choices. In normal language, we usually reserve "grieving" to describe deeply intense emotional loss. I'd be quite concerned for her emotional wellbeing if I was in your shoes. The best thing you can do is communicate, communicate, communicate. Tell her you love her. Show her you love her (acts of service.) Make love to her. If she can't shake these intense feelings within the next week or so, pick up the phone and schedule some time with a therapist. If she's not able to reset on her own, she will need some professional assistance. Ann and I wish you and your wife the best. Let us know how she's doing in a week or so.

It would be nice to think that everyone who tries swinging enjoys the experience and incorporates it into their life. But experience shows that doesn’t happen, even when they have "done all the right things" in preparation for their first time. As you note Username 87, the two of you failed to keep a pre-play agreement to not do full swap. There are folks here on the board who have done similar things without causing a post-play problem, but there seems to be a consensus that mid-play renegotiations of agreed upon rules often causes post-play issues. Or even mid-play issues…) I’ve seen this happen to friends of mine, and it happened to me with a couple who were friends. In one case a couple I knew brought a lady friend in. There’d been no agreement the women would play with each other. But they did. By my friends’ account both ladies had a great time. But the next day their unicorn friend freaked out a bit. My own example was actually my first MFM. A couple of months previously the wife in the couple told me they had been talking about inviting a guy to join them in bed for a threesome. At a weekend sporting event we were all attending their hotel had over-booked, but I had a room reserved with two beds. I offered them the second bed. Only when we got to the room there was just one king bed. We got into bed with nightclothes. Then the wife said "This isn’t how we sleep at home" and pulled her nightie up over her head. After that there was way more sex than sleeping. Everyone had a great time. At the end of the event I went with them to their house and while the husband had to go to work the wife snd I continued to have sex. But the aftermath, when everyone’s ardor had cooled, almost wrecked their marriage. We all stayed good friends, but they never played as a couple again, with me or anyone else. (For a number of years the wife and I occasionally played.)

We don't follow any porn sites, if a visual thrill is needed we just watch others in our family doing it. It is an advantage of being in a poly family - I can see things that I otherwise wouldn't be able to see if it were just from the vantage of me and another person. I do, however, have maybe two dozen kinky pictures and videos on my phone (NOT of anyone in the family) for when I am alone traveling for business and I want to masturbate.

I like xvideos.com

You get what you pay for. My other favorite saying is “ buy for value, be prepared to pay twice.”

I was in a relationship with an experienced lady lover who demanded pleasure. If I came prematurely having vaginal intercourse she would push me down below the sheets and make me go down on her to lick up my come and tongue her to orgasm.

I've done this. She likes when I get so lost that I can do it. So no big deal just cleaning up the mess on her 36d's while she looks down and watches. So hot

We've discussed it before but I'll NEVER get the whole "cumming inside" thing in swinger sex, where the visual performance is generally one of the primary considerations. IMO, there is nothing hotter than cumming on 2 pretty faces who then proceed to passionately make-out with each other and my cum/cock. If I'm pulled into kiss a woman whose face I just came upon, I'm not turning that down, no way. My cum, fine - another man's nah, that ain't my thing.

That's the philosophy for all of us. Especially me - I like those little swimmers living inside of me for days. If there is semen to be swallowed, it is usually by one of us women performing oral on another one of us women after we've been with a guy, although the guys will go down on us if we request it.

From Netscape love: Wife Does Others My wife goes dancing on the weekend at one of our local clubs. She picks guys up on the dance floor. Before the night ends, she will give them oral sex before coming home. At first, I didn’t like it, but it’s grown on me. Last weekend, she brought a guy home and wanted me to watch. Before he was done, she called me over and told me to do it with her. She then told me to do it while she watched, and I did. On Monday night, she told me that it really turned her on and she wants to watch me do it more. She said her fantasy is to have sex while watching me have oral sex with a guy. -Mel, 30 I’ve found many other similar letters on Netscape love concerning women wanting to see their man have sex of some kind with another man. Now that men in the Vanilla and Swinger world for the most part share the fantasy/reality of actively participating in or seeing their women or any woman/women having sex with other woman/women is a fact pretty much goes without saying. So my question is do women here on the Swingers Board share this fantasy of seeing their men have sex with other men? Seems likely this question has been broached here but I’ve not been able to find it.

I have a message written on a roofing tile out by my hot tub. I got it in New Orleans and it's my favorite decoration. It says; "A true friend is someone who sees through your act, yet still enjoys the show."

My wife and I went for dinner at our friends place (another couple), and jumped into the hot tube after we ate. The 2 girls started talking about how hot it would be to watch us 2 men together, and asked if we would try. We agreed that we would try and made our way back into the house. We started with each others wives until we were naked and ready to go. His wife whispered in my ear that she wanted me to suck his cock with her, so I agreed and the rest his history. I LOVED it and so did our wives. We gave each other head and followed with anal for both of us. Ever since then, I have played with a few men in the lifestyle and really enjoy it. Although I don't announce to everyone that I'm bisexual, I thought I would at least tell my best friend. I was a bit nervous telling him as he was straight since I've known him. I told him that I was bisexual and he told me that he curious about playing with another guy but didn't have the courage to ever say something about it. I told my wife that he was curious about being with another man, and she was happy to let me experience that with him. To this day we play regularly and he loves it just as much as I do!! On the other hand, some people are really uncomfortable with the thought. You just have to be yourself with others and if they don't like you for who you are, there not worth the friendship.

First time I kissed another girl was when i had my first FMF threesome. I fancied a guy in high school who knew I wanted him as my boyfriend, we were just fuck buddies at first and then he said he will be my boyfriend if we can have threesome with my best friend. We had sex with me and her in missionary, that's when i kissed her while he was behind me going in and out taking us in turns. Neither of us was on birth control so he had to use a condom. My first experience with two men was when I was an escort. A male client had booked me for an overnight with his male friend, both had with them recent STD certificates to prove they were clean. Both were taking me in turns, DP'ing, all three of us were kissing one another, every time they came it was in my vagina, the other guy would go down on me to lick it out then come up to kiss me or the other guy. It was really strange for me as I'd never experienced anything like that before.

Happened to me during a threesome with a married couple. She had been riding me cowgirl style and he was behind her as we were going to DP. At some point I slipped out of her and he held me for a moment before taking me in his mouth. It felt great and was happy to carry on, he did it for a moment or two before guiding me back into her. We then DP'ed. Later while we were relaxing, he was semi hard I lent over to stroke him which he responded too and I then sucked him off. Have done it a number of times mainly when in a mmf or mfmf.

The first time I went down on a woman I asked her husband to show me what she likes. I got my face right next to his and paid really close attention. Then I took over and it went great. She said she couldn't believe it was my first time. After that I wanted to know more. I like to read and research so I got the book, She Comes First It was helpful and I kind of get off on the intellectual/sexual thing. I just got the book Blow Each Other Away which has ideas for going down on women and men.

I'll get to your actual questions in a moment, but I did want to address the sexual identity question first. You will eventually settle on a descriptor for yourself that works, at least in the short term, but it's not something you need to rush. Having sex with another woman doesn't automatically make you anything except exploratory and you can stay in exploration land for as long as you like, postponing a decision until you find something that fits. The landscape of a woman's body isn't radically different than that of a man, surprisingly enough. Softer, with an innie instead of an outie, but creating the arc of desire is similar. So, kissing, sucking, licking, stroking, all are like enough that it probably won't feel totally alien to you. Also, your inability to get yourself off manually doesn't have anything to do with your ability to do so for/with another woman (I bore myself when I try, so I don't bother, but I love getting someone else off). Plus, ask what she likes and whether something you're doing feels good. I don't think I was old enough to be nervous, so my experience won't help you, but one of our playmates has been really unsure about her skill with women. I think being with someone willing to be open about what feels good and why what she's doing is working has been helpful for her, but she really had no reason for concern. I think the only truly necessary qualities are the desire to please and the empathy to feel something of what the other person is experiencing. As to whether your first venture should be a solo or a duet, are you turned on/off by or are you neutral about the idea of sharing a partner with your boyfriend? That's where you'll find your answer.

Hi everyone, I have a theory for the ladies. Sooo my husband and I did our first full bi-swap. It was VERY erotic and hot. I realized something interesting though about women and bisexuality. My experience with the other wife was great! Often times I hear women say "women know women better." I have to say being with a woman as a woman did feel different but not in a physical way. I thought a lot about it and here is what I think. Girls are very mean to each other. I know why ladies but seriously I think we really hurt each others self-esteem a lot. I think this is why female bisexuality is so common. We want to be respected and feel support from other women. When I was with the other wife I felt like every cruel thing others girls had done to me was expunged. All I could do was give my body over to this woman for the appreciation it deserved. It was a rush of emotion (not the attached kind). When I was younger I was always criticized by other girls for mild acne, big feet, and my style. Although I've cut a lot of those people out of my life I feel I am still scarred by that. When the other wife and I played with each other it was just amazing to accepted by her in a sexually powerful way. I do of coarse prefer men way more but I feel this woman filled in something that had been missing. Even though this woman was an experienced bi-wife she didn't make me cum any harder than any guy I've been with. My husband of coarse takes the prize though! What do you all think?

I read an interesting article in the Journal of Human Sexuality. (Forgive me I'm a scientist by trade and my first reaction to a topic is always research.) The author did a research study on swingers. Bi-sexual women are overrepresented in the lifestyle by some ridiculous percent compared to the general population. He suggested because bi-sexual women found the swinging community a safe place to express their bisexuality especially when they are in stable hetero relationships. In other words there's more bi women in swinging because they can be bi without shocking the PTA.

Thanks for the opinions everyone! Maybe I was a little dramatic in my first post. I mean I was criticized when I was younger but I witnessed it more than I was a victim of it. It wasn't that bad but certainly an issue. @Hippie: Glad to know we're on the same page more or less. Can't wait to tell you all about it! @maui: I think it is an environment thing and often a sub-conscious reaction. I honestly didn't even think about it until afterwards. I certainly did not walk in feeling bad about how I had been treated many years ago lol. @sun: Men can be massage-y and soft too if you give them a chance. My husband massages me way more than we have sex. It soooooo relaxing and he use strong hands or soft hands depending on what I want. He has a powerful technique to make me come by tending to my breasts alone! I do agree though that the acceptance factor lowers the barrier to a woman trying bisexual sex. It does suck for bi-guys though (no pun intended). That is why my husband and I have reserved ourselves to bi-clubs only. The way I see it is if we can't all be open and comfortable then it's kind of a turn-off for me. The bi-clubs are really nice and so are the people!!

You know, it's the same with bi men. After you both know that you're both bi you seem to both relax more around each other and not try to compete so much. I've shared vanilla feelings more with men I've had sex with than vanilla friends. It's just something, in common, that allows you to be more open about everything.

My first experience came when we were playing with another couple. We were relaxing after the first round when the other guy asked if he could touch me. I thought about it for a moment and then said go ahead. He reached down and began to stroke my cock. It felt good and got even better when he started licking and sucking me. I plucked up my courage and began to stroke him. Before we knew it we were in a 69 together with our wives lending encouragement. It was a very erotic scene and one I have repeated many times since.

Very well said! I'll have to share this with my yahoo group of guys. We've got three of us who are experienced and two who are very curious.

Incredibly well put! I LOVE the thought of my wife with another woman but she does it because she enjoys it, not because I want her to do it. In fact, if she did it only for that reason ... it would most likely have the opposite effect as I would feel severe guilt. Getting to the point of this thread. My thoughts are that there are a lot of people that tend to believe everyone in the world thinks similarly and those that say something contrary are "in the closet" and are just suppressing their "hidden" desires and they just need someone to show them the light. Um, well, my wife has absolutely no desire for the competition of who gets to suck the other guys cock. I think if you asked her she would specifically say something like: "it's too f@cking hard competing against all those other bitches, the last thing I want to do is compete against my own husband!" :lol:

Not sure how you received that impression from my post. Chicup said that most of the women he knows do not have this fantasy. My point was that he was going to hear the negative much more often because he makes it quite clear he is repulsed by the fantasy. A person who makes his repulsion clear isn't likely to be told by those around him that they just love the fantasy that repulses him. I didn't discuss what is shared within marriages. I discussed my personal experience finding that those who call themselves straight can be much more open to male bisexuality than the straight label might suggest. There are more than a few couples who describe themselves as straight in order to avoid the repulsion that Chicup so gladly voices. And there are those who feel that satisfying their wife's fantasy to see sex between men does not make them bi. They simply are open to satisfying the fantasies of the one they love.

Would love to know what my wife thinks. Do i just ask? It's never been discussed but she loves to fuck me with a dildo. Help lol

I have spoken to a lot of women and some say they would LOVE it, some say they wouldn't mind, and others are just against it. LOL...Lots of opinions.

I've had cum licked off my tits. In the heat of the moment it's a hot thing to do and have done. I'd do it again.

I absolutely love it!

I love it so much I married a bi guy. I love sharing cock with him, I love seeing him enjoy it, I love the look on a guy's face when he sees a woman see him do something so taboo. BIG FAN!

Like blondie77 said it’s a bit “naughty,” kinky as well. I agree with her about this and I've said it before and I'll say it again. If the guy wants female / female action he should be willing to return the favor with a little male / male action. Why does a guy want this? Same for us. My guy has had many mfm and mfmm and more - mmmmmfm - get the picture? So guys and there stuff will make contact with you. He has no problem with it. If no condoms are the preference then guys are gonna get other guys' cum on them as well. While underneath females in 69s and another male doing her over him, he has had "things" happen that he would have preferred not happen but no biggy to him. But I noticed the more it happens the more excited I get. Recently I have seen guys help the ladies suck him off while he was busy under her taking care of her. I have also seen people doing stuff to him anally together male and female. Now this has really been a source of great excitement for me. I can get off just watching it. Not to long ago I finally gave in to my husband's desire for me to be more involved with the females in our sexcapades. I finally went for a fmf only. Well that only sparked a greater interest for me to see him with a guy or at least not stop them from playing with him (it was sort of our deal). I really love to watch my husband enjoy himself and pleasure himself. I am the one who introduced anal sex to him and encouraged him to explore it. I also introduced him to cum. People often ask me why on earth? It is very simple after I the first guy I performed oral anal on went through the roof - I knew I had discovered something amazing about guys. Homophobic or not, when I am a performing oral on guys and tease them anally every one of them go absolutely ape. As far as cum – it’s a huge turn-on for me. Cum on a guy drives me nuts. When I married I taught my man everything I knew about anal play, sex, and oral. I guess it has been a natural progression towards wanting to see him getting pleasured by guys. I does not have to go down on guys or do them but I do not see why he should ever oppose them doing stuff to him. I think a guy could pleasure him better than a dildo or strap-on ever could. I'd love to see him enjoy it as much as I do and I feel like a guy could do it the best. Someone made the comment recently, "he might turn gay." Oh my gosh what a goof. Sure he might enjoy it, errrr isn't that is sort of the point? But he is not attracted to men in the very least. Same with me and females, of course I can look at a woman and notice a nice body and beautiful features but I am not attracted to them. Recently, I have been with several females sexually (new for me) and I am not attracted to them but I’ll have sex with them now. Why? Because my husband really enjoys it, it’s fun, it's different, it adds more variety, for me more kink, I’ve been into the cum thing for a while so it makes for a lot of crazy fun with that. As I mentioned earlier I even got him doing that. Hope that sort of explains where I am coming from and several of the reasons I’d like to see it and be a part of it.

I would love to see my man do all of the above. I have fantasies about it all the time. Yes, he knows I think about it. He may try it some day, but for now, he's not into it.

For my partner, it is a huge turn-on, she has often told me that she wants to see me give oral to another male, and to see another male suck me off. She has this huge fantasy of watching me play with another male, and if/when she gets horny enough she would want to jump in and get served by both of us. Although I consider myself straight, and normally would never play with another male, I think if the situation is right, and she was there and would go wild, I suppose I am curious about it. But yes it is her fantasy to see me with another guy. I think this is very common with a lot of women out there, it's just like guys, and how we love to see a girl on girl. We're attracted to females, so what's better then just one when you can see or have two at the same time? It's the same thing with women.

One of the biggest fantasies of women is to watch their man have sex with another man. Mostly sucking each other off. Men love to watch two women having sex together. It does not take a genius to figure a woman would enjoy watching two men having sex.

I'd love to watch my hubby and another guy.

I think I would enjoy brief touching, as long as they got back to me...why waste their loads on another dude?

My wife gives this fantasy a big thumbs up. She get's very turned on by the idea of watching two men get it on, especially kissing and oral, but has mentioned anal sex as well. Something about men being gentle and caring to each other.