Leaderboard

I have a question for everyone. The wife and I started swinging about 3 years ago. We are not very active however, as we have only swung with one other couple about 3-4 times per year. During this time, my wife opened up to me and told me that she is not just a woman who is cool with a little girl-girl action during swinging, but she is and always has been a bisexual. I told her at the time that I was supportive and did not mind if she had sex with girls, as long as I knew about it and that the other girl knew she was a married woman. Well, this actually happened over the weekend while she was on a girl's trip to the beach. She immediately called and told me about it like she said she would. I could tell in her voice that she was upset and was very relieved when I told her it was ok. Well, a friend of mine (the male half of the couple that we swing with) told me that he does not think it is a good idea for that to be happening. He's been swinging and having threesomes for far longer than I have, and he says that, in his experience, this never ends well. I have been with my wife for 15 years and trust her completely. She even remembered the rule we had in place about letting me know about her adventures, and followed it to the T. I guess I've let him get in my head a bit, and hey, it's 2022. Her leaving me for a woman is definitely a possibility nowadays lol. I'm just looking for input and advice from those of you who have been in the community longer than we have. Thanks Side note: when she got home from her trip, she fucked me while describing the entire session she had with the other woman. Needless to say, I didn't last very long lol.

There is no reason to think she is going to leave you if your marriage is strong. Doesn’t make a difference if she is with a man or a woman the sex is just another form of enjoyment. We never spoke about our other sexual fun for years and it didn’t affect our love at home. Once we were open about meeting others things didn’t change for us. She has plenty of women friends that she meets for non-sexual things and I feel the men she meets are just other friends. She said she isn’t looking for any long term relationships with the men so it is different from being with a friend. I do have long term relationships that are long distance and have never thought of leaving my wife for any of these women.

I think this is a question that only the two of you -- you and your wife -- can answer for yourselves. As with all things in a strong marriage, the key is good, open, and honest communication. What works and what is right for one couple may not be appropriate for another. Your friend has the best of intentions when he tells you these things 'never end well' -- but life rarely deals in absolutes; you need to work this through together. And of course, listening to each other is ninety-five percent of what 'good communication' should be.

To me the woman I desire, have always desired is the girl that everyone has taken a turn on. The town slut. I don't know why but always that is the woman I want and humiliation makes it better...That is all I know. Give me a used woman to take care of and I am happy....

Not sure I agree with that? For me, we're exploring our sexuality, and we are always TOGETHER when doing so. Of course, once it's separate, that's another story. I loathe the idea of being humiliated by a woman via sex but very much enjoy me and my wife flexing our skills in a group setting. So, where is "the line?" 🤷‍♂️

SLS has a forum section on cruises that includes a "roll call" . If your cruise is posted there, it's easy. If your cruise is not posted there, post it.

Don’t let others get in your head! She followed the rules you and her set up therefore she thought about what she did with the biggest worry you not approving. She is experimenting that’s it. Nobody is turning her bisexual or taking her away from you. Enjoy that she liked it.

As already pointed out, only the two of you really know each other here. Ms. Gold likes to be able to explore the occasional other woman, but she has made it crystal clear that she would never choose another woman as long as men still existed on the planet. Knowing this, I wouldn't have a problem having her do the same thing your wife did. It sounds like this was fairly spontaneous, making it kind of difficult to contact you before it happened, but she did contact you after and give you the details...I would be good with that...but every relationship is different and only you two know for sure.

I do note that the wife told him about the bi adventure after it happened. That’s not consent. She may not have known it would come up. But certainly the husband did not have an opportunity to put the kibosh on it. Is this wife ok with a hall pass for the husband?

If you are both open and honest with one another. If the boundaries you set aren’t abused. Then there’s no harm. This lifestyle is not cookie cutter. What works for you, might not work for others. Thank your friend for his advice. But travel the road you and your wife have charted

We have good friends who are married the same 37 years that we have been. The husband left the wife for another man. We are surprised, not shocked. These things happen. We don’t think this couple were swingers. We are not in the hall pass camp. We swing together in the same general place. Separate rooms, but not separate places. Has worked for us.

I would say that since you are letting her fulfill her fantasies and needs, there is no reason for her to leave you. As a bisexual woman myself, I have a Lesbian side and a straight side. My desire for women is intense, but I am bisexual and need a man, need dick, as much as pussy. It's your role to satisfy her in that regard. Besides That should tell you something.

Yes I enjoy when I see or not. Even if she is or isnt...my mind makes it all so exciting.....the stories she tells me and I have had others throw it in my face thinking I don't know and me getting off on it and they think it hurts me. I have been in bars with her that she goes to a lot. I have overheard some people that don't know we are together , men and women make comments and jokes about what an easy piece of ass she is and how she has fucked some many guys there. That is the best story. Overheard in public about being a noticeable slut.

My wife and I love that. And actually it works well whether it is MFM or FMF, and whether a spouse is involved or not.

ummm...yeah I didn't really get any of these effects. It was all just kinda matter of fact and in the moment. I will readily admit my one on one experience with another man is pretty limited. It was really freeing though to be in a four way with another man an be able to do things with him that I could only do with the women. Did I fantasize about men before this? Yeah, most of my life but make no mistake it is certainly women that move me to do really stupid things. ;-). I have always figured everybody has but men don't admit it. It has certainly been mostly women though. Pretty hard to explain, but I have no desire for the 'power' dynamic in sex. I'll do the whole BDSM thing, but I don't fantasize about it. My wife says that it's because I am a natural dom, or alpha. I don't know, but it does explain some peoples reactions to me in group situations. Anyhow what I enjoyed and got was the group 'affection' dynamic. That was awesome, I really loved that, and am looking forward to being involved with it again. Now that I've had multiple MM experiences I am definitely in a different place sexually, but it's not really craving cock. Guess I am still processing this. No, I really didn't feel a super barrier to touching his junk or giving a blow job. Going in for the make out session, that took a bit of close my eye's and just do it. I am glad I did, but there was certainly more of a barrier there. Oh and I will definitely do it again, I kinda feel like a sex act without kissing just leaves me flat. This has definitely turned into a bit of a ramble, but like I said I am still processing the actual experience.

First question, "What is normal?" Is swinging normal? Normal is a judgment word. Average might be better since it's a mathmatical word. Pleasure, desire, power and control are part of heterosexual encounters also. Becoming fixated on a particular pleasure is more a fetish than an addiction. You do sound as if addiction played a part in your experience if you feel that giving head was like heroin. Never did heroin but have been prescribed oxycotin for pain. Didn't like it one bit and would never compare it to sex. More like non-sex, down, uncrisp, not up. Each person has a different reaction to drugs, but my experience is that downers are down and sex is up. Loving a cock in your mouth is exciting both for the pleasure and for the relief from all the bullshit about being bi or gay. It's sex, it's pleasure, AND it's not what we were led to believe with all the putdowns and hangups about it. There's a feeling of growing up and out of something nasty, the bigotry toward male/male sex.

Pursuing this direction can have consequences. If a guy is open to allowing same sex contact, it can cause a drastic change in the normal sex life and fantasies. Even if this person isn't the least bit turned on by the same sex. The usual impression of a guy never having mm contact is based on the act of holding, stroking, sucking another mans junk. Something that should be recognized and it is brought up more than once in this thread, is the rest of the story. Putting a cock in your mouth for the first time after holding it, looking at it, wondering if you can really do this, isn't what was expected. The feel, the taste, the texture is not what we expected. Also, most men hadn't considered the reaction this causes. Suddenly you feel something different, power, control, desire. Some guys that are natural pleasers can become addicted to this. IF you are very open minded, have no homophobic issues, love the feeling of giving pleasure during sex and if you have an addictive personality this can cause problems. Be aware that going into a mm experience needs to be approached the same as swinging. Rules should be set and communication with the other half needs to be as open as swinging. I tag myself as bi but really see myself as about the straightest guy I know. I am absolutely hooked on sex though, and giving head, for me, was like heroin. 15+ years constantly looking for a 'fix' before finally getting it under control. Amazing to go through, horrid to look back on.

I can remember years ago when the wife and I just got started in the LS. We went to our first club and I think went into our first orgy room the same night. Well, we quickly met a couple who were somewhat older than the both of us. The wife was very interested in me and wanted me to fuck her. Well, being new the whole experience after my wife said that she didn't mind if I did I went forward with it. We were all in the orgy room when this all took place. I remember having sex with the woman and all of a sudden I feel her husband's legs if I can remember correctly cross over mine. Wow, hell no!!! This was my first reaction to what he did. So, while still fucking his wife I did kindly remove his leg from touching me and maybe gave him an awkward look. Well, that was years ago and now my attitude about it is completely different. I have never thought about any kind of bi or gay activity in the past until a while back I came across a blog that I actually read all the way through. It was written by the husband of a bi-sexual couple. Another WOW by me after reading this. Still, not completely cool with it my mind just continued to wonder and wonder about it. So, I slowly started watching gay and bi-sexual vids on my phone. The more I watched the more I liked what I was seeing. Now my attitude is totally different about how I judge people and the lifestyle they choose to live as far as being bi or gay. I have not yet to have a bi experience but I must say that I'm totally for trying out the other side. Honestly, right now I still just can't see myself sucking another guy's cock, but who knows!!! Only time will tell and I don't know when that time will be.

I haven't read all the responses yet, but I'll chime in. I think it shouldn't be unexpected that a sexually open person would develop a healthy curiosity about playmates of the same gender. I know a lot - if not most - women in the lifestyle are bisexual, and it's sort of what got us into swinging in the first place. Turns out I was actually bi-curious, but having explored that option, no holds barred, I discovered that I'm genuinely heterosexual. It was an interesting experience, and I wouldn't say no to playing with a woman in a group play situation, but I don't exactly go looking for it. I think you're probably just going through the same bi-curiosity phase. I wouldn't be afraid of experimenting, and try to not over-think it. Really the whole point of swinging is for individuals to explore their sexuality without judgment and with the love and support of their spouse or partner. It's that vulnerability that makes the magic. Edit--> Aaand that's why you should read the whole thread, intuition897. Erotics, I see you've already updated us with your recent experience. Glad to hear you enjoyed it and that it seemed to open new doors for you.

Hi Mr Frojoe here. I'm bisexual and pretty much have been my entire life (had my first experience at 13). Personally, I'd say try it if you're curious. You won't know for sure if you don't...and don't be scared to push your boundaries a bit either. I see a lot of guys aren't into anal sex but again I would say don't knock til you've tried it. If you're curious but reticent to actually go that far with a guy, get your SO a strap-on and give that a try. I get that some guys are worried about coming off submissive when engaging with another guy. That's your ego and years of programming working against you. No one looks at two women together and sees one as more dominant. Anyway, those are just some thoughts that probably could have been expressed better but I'm hungry. Lol.

As a solo guy I've been in a few MMF's where the male part of the couple played with me and preformed limited oral on me. I did not find it awkward and it appeared to turn the lady on tremendously. I did return the favor. Do I consider myself bi? Maybe sexually flexible or opportunistic. I am not attracted to men when I walk by them on the street, but I am when seeing women.

And, believe it or not, a pretty common fantasy too. Oh, and not to mention how much fun that has to be for your wife!

Sounds to me you were going to the wrong parties.